This is first and foremost an oc student-professor Snape fanfic. I do not own anything in the Potter-Verse. There is and will be mature and sexual content, and this opening chapter may make you very uncomfortable due to a mistake Severus has made... this will NOT continue to be a reluctance/rape fic, but this first chapter may be triggering to those who have been abused in this way. I draw many sexual experiences positive and negative from my own history, and do not pretend to think that what's therapeutic for me will work for all.*

xxxxxxxxxxx

He stood at the front of his classroom, writing in a delicate- albeit angry- hand on the chalk board. When he was finished writing the instructions and ingredients for a dreamless sleep draught he turned to his class.

The brats regarded him silently, with wide fearful eyes. He felt his lip pull up in contempt. As if he would ever hurt his students. He had played his part well, and so the charade continued and he had found over the years that he truely had an easier time when he was being unpleasant. It's better to be feared.

"You have one hour only. Follow the instructions exactly and there should be no incidents." He ordered, his eyes turning swiftly to a student in the front just to his left. She had jumped at the sound of his voice, having been engrossed in transcribing his instructions on a piece of spare parchment. She knocked her inkwell over and the black substance was quickly pouring over her skirt and thighs.

He frowned. Surely... this girl had been in his class before, but he didn't remember her. She appeared to be a sixth year, and with a perfunctory glance at her robes he identified her as a Hufflepuff.

"Is there a problem?" He ground out, agitated as he watched the little thing staring at him dumbly with wide green eyes, her mouth a tiny 'O' of shock.

"N-no, Sir." She stammered, quickly balling her parchment up and dropping to the floor to soak up the running ink. His eyes narrowed, watching as she made an even bigger mess.

"Ten points from Hufflepuff," he barked and watched her shoulders sag and she turned miserable eyes to him.

"Professor, please... it was an accident." She said timidly, her eyes pleading. He felt a stirring of sympathy begin and then he scoffed to silence it.

"Detention, as well for begging. Leave the mess for now. You will clean it after class, when you serve detention." He said, turning back to his desk and sinking down into his chair where he lowered his gaze to the mound of papers he still had to sift through from last period. When he didn't hear any noise from his students for several moments, he turned his glower to them.

"Well?" He barked, pleased when they jumped into instant action. He spied the Hufflepuff Girl and frowned. She had ink all over herself still, and her hands were black with it. He took out his wand and flicked it in her direction.

"Scorgify," he said softly. The girl jumped as the ink vanished, looking around herself in bewilderment. Her eyes finally rested on him and she smiled warmly.

Snape wrinkled his nose in distaste, his mouth pulling sharply downward. Students never smile at me. He raised an eyebrow and threw a glare in hopes of discouraging such things in the future.

"Thank you, Professor Snape..." she mouthed to him. He rolled his eyes and scoffed, shaking his head at the silly girl and returning to his work.

The hour had soon passed and he called out to his students that they were now out of time and that he would be grading their potions and notes.

He pointed at the girl and growled, "You, Huffelpuff. Stay behind. The rest of you are dismissed."

The girl looked at him, her lips parted. The other students quickly shoved their belongings into their bags and left. Some looking at her with pity as they passed. Snape threw a hand out and shut the door from where he sat at his desk.

"Bring your potion and notes to me." He ordered, staring at her upturned face. She nodded and complied, gathering it with shaking hands. She set it on the desk in front of him and clasped her hands in front of her.

Snape had seen the gesture many times before, a subconscious way of creating a barrier when faced with someone or something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Unsafe. As if that could protect her should he wish to harm her.

He ignored her as he scanned the paper, his eyes resting on her name briefly. Darling Fairchild. He snorted. He bet her parents had been Huffelpuff's as well with a name so ridiculously soft as Darling. He stole a glance at the girl. He began to remember her now, the sixth year girl that he'd allowed to transfer into his advanced class. He had the vaguest recollection of her from other classes through the years. She had always done well.

She had sage green eyes and curly golden hair and truthfully, she looked like a porcelain doll, and unfortunately she was probably just as fragile. She was definitely timid and mild. She had only just recently began to wear her hair in a more mature style instead of tied back with that ridiculous piece of red ribbon. Perhaps with Darling, she was aptly named. She hardly spoke, but she was kind to everyone and even got along well with his Slytherins.

Finally, he moved on to her potion. He scowled at it. Scrutinizing the color and scent.

"Is something wrong?" Darling spoke softly. He glanced at her again, this time in annoyance.

"No, Miss Fairchild." He said. He frowned again. It was perfect, not that he'd tell her that. "You may go now. You will serve your detention tonight, at eight. Do not be late."

She giggled, a tinkle of laughter that surprised and infuriated him.

"Am I amusing to you, Miss Fairchild?" He snapped, feeling a tiny bit better when she startled, her eyes back to being wide and frightened.

"N-no, Sir. Forgive me... you made a rhyme and it simply struck me as funny. I did not mean to offend you, Professor. I would never laugh at you." She spoke honestly, her face turning pink with a slow flush. She grabbed the knot of her tie and looked away from him.

"Indeed. Remove yourself from my presence now, I have much to do."

She nodded slowly, "Yes, Professor. I will be back to serve my detention tonight." Darling backed away and sent the tiniest wave to him before she left. His frown deepened.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Severus had left dinner early, his head pounding from all the idiocy he'd dealt with that day. He made his way to his office and then to his personal study, lifting a blue bottle of potion he had bought on a whim a few weeks ago in Hogsmeade.

He unstoppered it and smelled it to be certain of it's contents. Usually he would never buy a potion, but that day he had been out and about and particularly desperate for relief after escorting hoards of screaming and gallavanting children and unleashing them on the poor, unsuspecting village.

The potion was named "Relief draught" and was tutted as being able to relieve a myriad of conditions including headache, body aches, fatigue, depression, malaise and more. It also stated that it could regulate blood pressure, which was fine by him. It was probably too high from dealing with them on the daily anyway. He drank it, and washed it down with a shot of fire whisky from his cabinet.

The clumsy Fairchild girl would be due in roughly twenty minutes at any rate. The mouse of a witch would probably die of fright if she served detention with him in his current mood. Not that he particularly cared, though it would be hard to explain. He mused to himself about her for several moments more before pouring himself another shot of fire whisky and downing it before he rinsed his mouth with water and headed to his classroom.

His headache had already begun to subside, whether from the Relief Draught or the whisky he couldn't tell. He hadn't drank much, so he doubted the whiskey did anything other than weaken his liver, poison that it was.

He had just settled behind his desk when Darling came in. She smiled at him hesitantly her face barely visible behind the heavy wood door and he had the oddest compulsion to return it, but he suppressed himself.

"By all means, enter. Even if you didn't knock..." he drawled, slightly agitated at the lack of bite to his words that he'd intended.

She nodded, embarrassed by her lack of manners. She slipped into the room as silent as a ghost. She looked like a ghost... he thought. Maybe an angel. Her hair seemed vibrantly golden this evening and her eyes full of life. Snape shuddered, feeling the slowly creeping disconnect from his body.

He should have suspected then, that something was wrong.

"Clean up the ink mess, Miss Fairchild." He ordered, his voice still agitatingly gentle. "I do not need to tell you that you will do this without magic..."

"Yes, Sir."

She went to the supply closet and gathered a bucket, sponge, and soap. He couldn't help but watch her movements. They seemed very graceful and almost sensual. He had never really looked at her and he had barely register her existence at all. A small part of his mind tried to shut these thoughts out, but he silenced it easily. She was still a child at only sixteen. He shouldn't have thought these mature thoughts of her, but as his gaze roamed over her body while she wasn't looking... he didn't see a child. She looked very much like a woman. She sank to her knees to scrub at the ink on the floor and he shuddered, picturing her infront of him. Looking at him with Darling green eyes while she... oh, Merlin. He closed his eyes briefly and expelled a breath, trying to force this building feeling of arousal away and he groaned, fighting for control of his thoughts.

He knew it wasn't right. It was extremely inappropriate. His skin felt electrified, his chest began to rise and fall rapidly. Suddenly there were cool fingers on his hand. He opened his eyes and saw the sage green of Darling's.

"Professor Snape," she said, and he only just realized that she'd been calling to him, "are you alright?" Her voice was sweet and honied, her face full of concern. Concern for him.

He gently reached out a hand and attempted to trail in along her cheek but she flinched away from him.

"Silly girl," he whispered slurily, looking at her with dark and hungry eyes. "I'm not going to hurt you..."

She stood still as he brought his hand back up to her face and caressed it. Her lips parted and he took the opportunity to stroke it with his thumb. She trembled. Her lips were soft and moist and he wanted them. He cupped the back of her neck in his hand and swiftly pulled her to him, his lips crashing onto hers. She resisted, but he didn't notice. He was tasting the sweetness of her tongue, his heart pounding. He wanted her. Right now. He had to have her.

He stood, dragging the girl with him and began to kiss her neck, his excitement growing as she let out a soft breathy moan. He ran his hands over her clothed body feeling her curves underneath the thin material.

"Professer," she whimpered as he reached under her skirt to stroke her silken thigh.

All he could hear was the pleading in her voice, her soft moaning and her shaking body. He covered her mouth with his own and his fingers sought the edge of her panties and when he rubbed his fingers against her she shuddered and squealed into his mouth. He toyed with her, gently pulling her panties to the side and sliding his finger into her. She shuddered again against him, bucking her hips as her hands came up to his chest. She pushed him and he slid his finger in faster, pulling away from her lips and crushing her body against his. He withdrew his hand and grabbed her by her bottom and thighs to set her down on his desk. She was breathing hard as he laid her back, pushing her skirt up to her waist to reveal her dark blue panties. He pulled them to the side with a sharp tug and they ripped off easily and then he undid the button and fly of his slacks and pulled himself out of his drawrs. She gasped softly, pressing her knees together as he came forward to rest the tip against her core. He forced her legs apart without a second thought. If he would have looked at her, really looked at her, he would have seen the fear in her eyes.

He shivered as he felt her warmth, the wetness of it against him. his sole thought of possessing her. She pressed her knees into his hips as he rubbed his shaft against her, between her moist lips.

"Professor Snape..." she pleaded and tried to squirm away. The motion only allowed the tip of his arousal to gently press against her entrance. Her breath caught and she wiggled even more, trying to get away.

In Severus's state however, he mistook it as encouraging him to penetrate her as the wetness coated him. He slowly pressed into her and she stilled, a violent gasp tearing from her throat. There was a resistance that he didn't recognize until he forced past it and she cried out in pain, but to him he thought it might be pleasure. He kissed her deeply and continued thrusting into her, pushing into the tight wetness that spasmed around him. She made choked sobbing sounds and he felt her body tighten with what felt like her orgasm, a rush of fluid. He thrusted even harder as she cried out and wriggled beneath him until he felt his release building and he began to thrust harder and harder into her, teetering on the edge until finally he dove into her as deeply as he could. She dug her finger nails into his covered upper arms and screamed out against his mouth. He broke the kiss and buried his lips against her throat and that's when he realized that she hadn't been calling out in pleasure. She was screaming no.

The sound finally snapped him out of his aroused, possessed stupor. He froze and looked at her in horror, his eyes focusing finally and locked on to her green ones just as he released himself inside of her. The shock of it made him gasp and pant, pressing as deep as he could inside of her automatically.

"Please, stop!" She begged, her tearfilled eyes were wide and terrified, her face red and her breath huffing out of her in hysterical gusts. "Professor, please it hurts!" She struggled against his hands that held her pinned to the desk by her upper arms and he released her, looking at them as though they were unfamiliar. His heart pounded as he looked from her face to where they were now joined in disbelief.

He was inside of her. He had came inside of her.

He let out a choked breath and attempted to withdraw but she cried out again, and that was when he noticed the blood around his shaft.

She was a virgin. The resistance he had felt inside of her was her hymn and he had just... smashed through it.

He was breathing hard, panic like ice water filling him. How did this happen? He could barely remember her coming in and yet now he was inside of her. She was full of his semen and he could gather by the look on her face and his current position that he had taken her quite forcefully and unwillingly. He attempted to withdraw again and she covered her face and squealed, her tight walls protesting and gripping him. She was swollen from his roughness. He grunted at the sensation, guilt eating away at the pit of his stomach over the pleasure he had taken at her expense.

"I have to pull out..." he whispered gently to her. Stroking blonde curls away from her heart shaped face. She was weeping and his normally cold heart broke into pieces over it. "I didn't mean- I didn't mean to do this."

He attempted to withdraw again for a third time and she wrapped her legs around him.

"W-wait..." her voice shook as she took deep breaths to calm herself. "Please wait until it's smaller..."

She looked up at him and he took in her face. The pain, emotional and physical in her eyes was suffocating. The betrayal that he saw in them was biting. Her bloodied lip was quivering between her teeth and he gently pulled it free and stared at her swollen lips. Lips swollen from his kisses. The action caused him to slide deeper into her and she whimpered quietly, closing her eyes and balling her fits. He held still, not wanting to hurt her anymore than he had and gradually he felt her walls loosen as his erection had begun to dissipate. She was no longer gripping him so tightly. She gently rocked her self against him for a moment and he fought the urge to thrust into her or make a sound. Darling then nodded her head shakily to him.

"Okay... you can... you can take it out now."

He held her hips and carefully withdrew from her. She pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes and gasped, inciting a few more sobs to come from her. She closed her legs and slid off the table. A small trickle of blood and his seed ran down her thigh as she stood there shaking, one hand pressed against her lower stomach. He looked at her in shame, spotting the small blood drop still on his desk that stared at him accusingly.

"I didn't realize I was-" he began, emotion thick in his voice. He thought to correct it but the last thing the shaking girl needed was to be even more afraid if him... "I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened..." A slow and horrified realization creeped upon him. The new potion... he had mixed it with alcohol. Most alcohol would mix just fine... but some potions had a drug like effect. He still felt the burn and sway, but he was in control again.

He groaned and sank into his chair. Darling simply stood there. Staring absently at nothing in particular, anywhere but at him.

Because he had just raped her. He fisted his hands in his hair. He felt sick with disgust. He'd never raped a woman before, much less a child. The thought made him want to vomit. She was just a child, no matter how much she looked like or sounded like a woman, she was a little girl, and he had violated her. Ravaged her like a monster. A virgin, even. He never would have done this, not even in his days as a death eater. He glanced back at her trembling wet thighs and the pool of pinkish liquid on the floor beneath her.

He jumped out of his seat, taking note of the way Darling flinched, and went to the sink, grabbing a clean cloth and wetting it in warm water. He brought it back and attempted to hand it to Darling, but she wouldn't even look at him. He reached a gentle hand to her thigh and then when she didn't react, he carefully cleaned the blood and seminal fluid away.

She was in shock, her emotions and responses shut down to cope with what he'd done.

"I took a new potion this evening... I made a mistake and took a shot or two of fire whisky with it. I should have known better..." he said out loud, "I wasn't myself. I would never hurt you... or any woman... like this. I will inform the headmaster myself so that you don't have to." He said quietly, having finished cleaning her up he balled the once white but now red stained wash cloth in his hand and looked at it.

"No," she shook her head. "I won't tell anyone. You'll lose your job... if that's really what happened..." her lip quivered and she blinked away tears, "then you're no more at fault than I am. It was an accident."

A biting correction was poised on his tongue but he let it go, he would never speak harshly to this girl again. He'd already damaged her enough.

"Please, may I go now Professor?"

"Are you alright to leave yet?" He asked her gently. She shook her head and more tears rolled down her face.

"I want to take a shower..." she whispered.

He was silent for a moment and she looked at him, her gaze flickering from his face to the floor in shame.

"Yes, Darling... you may go now."

She stood there for a moment more with her arms around herself before she left, leaving him with his own tormented thoughts.

"Professor, please... it was an accident."