The neighborhood was a lazy sort of sunshine land, with lazy afternoons and
white picket fences with long grass sticking out in odd places. Daffodils
and daisies scattered the turf with white spots. I loved the way the sun
kissed my skin and the way the sky just looked made for me. There was
something charming about it now. Something about the slow time appealed to
my weary eyes after the things I had seen.
"I like it," I smiled, lacing my fingers in his.
"I don't know," He said hesitantly, staring up at the peach house. "It's weird. I'd really like a house like Lizzie used to have..." I dropped his hand. There was her name again.
Rarely did a moment dawn anymore that I didn't grasp her name in the air. Her name came off every loving breath between his lips, and I could hear it..I could feel it. The way my heart broke every time he uttered it..It was as though it was high school again. When I couldn't tell him how I felt. When he was dating her.
I never thought it would happen. I never thought I'd be wearing Gordo's engagement ring on my finger, but I was. It glinted at me in the warm blanket of sunlight, almost teasingly. It was a lie. I knew it every day now.
"Well, fine then. Let's look elsewhere," I slammed the car door as I got in. He seemed to miss the bitterness of my tone.
"There was a nice white one, like Lizzie's, about a block away," He commented. "Let's go back." We had gone back to the house about five times. He said the same things every time. He commented on the fence's similarity, how the mailbox was practically the same, and how the lawn gnome had a familiar smirk. I nodded in agreement, slowly killing myself. My teeth had developed an automatic clench whenever I heard anything remotely like "Lizzie". It's funny how you can learn to hate someone who haven't heard from in ten years.
"I bet she still lives in one like this, you know," He said happily. "Wouldn't it be funny if she visited us and saw how familiar the house is?"
"Gordo!," I cried out finally, exasperated. "This IS Lizzie's old house! THAT'S why it looks so familiar!" I pointed towards the brass numbers nailed onto the door. I would never forget those numbers after the years I had spent running up to them.
"No...it can't be..," He said uncertainly. "The curtains are different." I hit my forehead. For a smart guy, he can be really stupid sometimes.
"Gordo; say it with me...ten YEARS," I grabbed his shoulders. "Ten freaking years! CURTAINS CHANGE!" I let him go and added quietly, "People change."
"I'm sorry," He replied. "It's just..I can't believe it." His eyes wandered towards the FOR SALE sign in new meaning. "I wonder where they live now."
"I don't," I said flatly, sick of the subject entirely.
"Well...what do you think?"
"About what?," I asked blankly.
"About buying the house," He said as though it was obvious.
"Lizzie's HOUSE?," My jaw dropped. How much more would I have to hear about her NOW?
"Yeah," He said excitedly. "We already know it so well! It will be interesting." He grabbed my hands and stared into my eyes. "Please, Miranda?" God, those puppy dog eyes. When did he learn THAT?
"We probably don't have enough money," I quickly thought. "I have no idea why we're even looking at houses, let alone houses in this area." I pulled him towards the car. "Come on..an apartment is fine." Anything to get away from her ghost. ANYTHING.
"Of course we have enough. I've been saving money in a bank account since I was ten, remember? Come on..I've always dreamt of living in such a nice house," He stared at it admiringly. No, I thought bitterly. You always thought about living here with Lizzie.
"I don't know."
"Miranda," He looked at me. "Can you honestly say you don't love this house?" Yes. Hell yes.
"No," I lied. "But it seems so weird and...wrong.." He looked at me with those hopeful eyes again. I sighed. "Fine. Whatever." He pulled me into a rough embrace. He WAS like a little puppy. What ever happened to Gordo? I sat in silence in the car, listening to my one and only babble on about another woman.
Ever felt like you live a lie? Like the emotions are real, but fake at the same time? Have you ever competed with someone who isn't there?
It gets harder and harder to get up each day and put up with another battle for Gordo's attention. I don't want to give him up. And I won't. I shall battle until my dying day just to call him my own.
But he isn't. His heart still belongs to Lizzie, and I know it.
Leaning against the leather seat, I wondered if I would ever be able live like this.
~@~
"We'll get the house, I know it," Gordo smiled as he waved good bye to me. I watched him drive away on the wet cement. Tiny, teasing drops of rain sprinkled everything gently. If only I could stop loving him.
Holding on to Gordo was much like holding a butterfly in my hands. I didn't want to hurt him, but I didn't want to let him go. But I might just have to do that.
I sorrowfully flicked on the lights of my apartment, letting it brighten cheerfully. I dropped my purse lazily on my bed and pulled on some pajamas, not really thinking. Thinking was painful now. I stumbled into the kitchen and grabbed a pint of ice cream out of the small freezer.
Well, I thought reasonably. Even if I did tell Gordo to go after Lizzie, what good would it do? I silently recalled when Lizzie told me the truth.
*"I just screwed myself into the ground with Gordo," I sighed, picking up the dropped J-14 and flipping through it. I glanced up at her. "Don't pretend not to be happy about it." I dropped the magazine. "Go ahead, take him. I don't care."
" I don't want to go out with Gordo," She shifted uncomfortably.
"What? Are you telling me you actually love Larry?," I teased.
"No," She replied quietly.
"Then who is this mystery love?," I questioned.
"You," She whispered.*
The memory was almost painful. I quickly shook my head stubbornly. I had managed to salvage my friendship with Lizzie, hadn't I? She couldn't possibly still feel that way..could she? The thought made me sick. I pushed the carton way, dropping the spoon on the table with a clatter.
I couldn't think about it anymore. I climbed into my bed, letting the lonely space in my stomach be filled by the thoughts echoing.
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
A/N: So, what do you think so far? I'm not sure. This is promised to be a sad one, and it may or may not end happily. It's mainly about Miranda and Gordo's relationship "issues" and stuff like that. We're deciding at the moment. I'd like to take this opportunity to say hello to the entire Shoe Sisterhood...I hope this turns out satisfactory!
"I like it," I smiled, lacing my fingers in his.
"I don't know," He said hesitantly, staring up at the peach house. "It's weird. I'd really like a house like Lizzie used to have..." I dropped his hand. There was her name again.
Rarely did a moment dawn anymore that I didn't grasp her name in the air. Her name came off every loving breath between his lips, and I could hear it..I could feel it. The way my heart broke every time he uttered it..It was as though it was high school again. When I couldn't tell him how I felt. When he was dating her.
I never thought it would happen. I never thought I'd be wearing Gordo's engagement ring on my finger, but I was. It glinted at me in the warm blanket of sunlight, almost teasingly. It was a lie. I knew it every day now.
"Well, fine then. Let's look elsewhere," I slammed the car door as I got in. He seemed to miss the bitterness of my tone.
"There was a nice white one, like Lizzie's, about a block away," He commented. "Let's go back." We had gone back to the house about five times. He said the same things every time. He commented on the fence's similarity, how the mailbox was practically the same, and how the lawn gnome had a familiar smirk. I nodded in agreement, slowly killing myself. My teeth had developed an automatic clench whenever I heard anything remotely like "Lizzie". It's funny how you can learn to hate someone who haven't heard from in ten years.
"I bet she still lives in one like this, you know," He said happily. "Wouldn't it be funny if she visited us and saw how familiar the house is?"
"Gordo!," I cried out finally, exasperated. "This IS Lizzie's old house! THAT'S why it looks so familiar!" I pointed towards the brass numbers nailed onto the door. I would never forget those numbers after the years I had spent running up to them.
"No...it can't be..," He said uncertainly. "The curtains are different." I hit my forehead. For a smart guy, he can be really stupid sometimes.
"Gordo; say it with me...ten YEARS," I grabbed his shoulders. "Ten freaking years! CURTAINS CHANGE!" I let him go and added quietly, "People change."
"I'm sorry," He replied. "It's just..I can't believe it." His eyes wandered towards the FOR SALE sign in new meaning. "I wonder where they live now."
"I don't," I said flatly, sick of the subject entirely.
"Well...what do you think?"
"About what?," I asked blankly.
"About buying the house," He said as though it was obvious.
"Lizzie's HOUSE?," My jaw dropped. How much more would I have to hear about her NOW?
"Yeah," He said excitedly. "We already know it so well! It will be interesting." He grabbed my hands and stared into my eyes. "Please, Miranda?" God, those puppy dog eyes. When did he learn THAT?
"We probably don't have enough money," I quickly thought. "I have no idea why we're even looking at houses, let alone houses in this area." I pulled him towards the car. "Come on..an apartment is fine." Anything to get away from her ghost. ANYTHING.
"Of course we have enough. I've been saving money in a bank account since I was ten, remember? Come on..I've always dreamt of living in such a nice house," He stared at it admiringly. No, I thought bitterly. You always thought about living here with Lizzie.
"I don't know."
"Miranda," He looked at me. "Can you honestly say you don't love this house?" Yes. Hell yes.
"No," I lied. "But it seems so weird and...wrong.." He looked at me with those hopeful eyes again. I sighed. "Fine. Whatever." He pulled me into a rough embrace. He WAS like a little puppy. What ever happened to Gordo? I sat in silence in the car, listening to my one and only babble on about another woman.
Ever felt like you live a lie? Like the emotions are real, but fake at the same time? Have you ever competed with someone who isn't there?
It gets harder and harder to get up each day and put up with another battle for Gordo's attention. I don't want to give him up. And I won't. I shall battle until my dying day just to call him my own.
But he isn't. His heart still belongs to Lizzie, and I know it.
Leaning against the leather seat, I wondered if I would ever be able live like this.
~@~
"We'll get the house, I know it," Gordo smiled as he waved good bye to me. I watched him drive away on the wet cement. Tiny, teasing drops of rain sprinkled everything gently. If only I could stop loving him.
Holding on to Gordo was much like holding a butterfly in my hands. I didn't want to hurt him, but I didn't want to let him go. But I might just have to do that.
I sorrowfully flicked on the lights of my apartment, letting it brighten cheerfully. I dropped my purse lazily on my bed and pulled on some pajamas, not really thinking. Thinking was painful now. I stumbled into the kitchen and grabbed a pint of ice cream out of the small freezer.
Well, I thought reasonably. Even if I did tell Gordo to go after Lizzie, what good would it do? I silently recalled when Lizzie told me the truth.
*"I just screwed myself into the ground with Gordo," I sighed, picking up the dropped J-14 and flipping through it. I glanced up at her. "Don't pretend not to be happy about it." I dropped the magazine. "Go ahead, take him. I don't care."
" I don't want to go out with Gordo," She shifted uncomfortably.
"What? Are you telling me you actually love Larry?," I teased.
"No," She replied quietly.
"Then who is this mystery love?," I questioned.
"You," She whispered.*
The memory was almost painful. I quickly shook my head stubbornly. I had managed to salvage my friendship with Lizzie, hadn't I? She couldn't possibly still feel that way..could she? The thought made me sick. I pushed the carton way, dropping the spoon on the table with a clatter.
I couldn't think about it anymore. I climbed into my bed, letting the lonely space in my stomach be filled by the thoughts echoing.
~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~
A/N: So, what do you think so far? I'm not sure. This is promised to be a sad one, and it may or may not end happily. It's mainly about Miranda and Gordo's relationship "issues" and stuff like that. We're deciding at the moment. I'd like to take this opportunity to say hello to the entire Shoe Sisterhood...I hope this turns out satisfactory!