I haven't wrote a fan-fiction story in almost 4 years. I generally don't but I felt compelled to write. The themes present in this story, I hope, will relate to you in some fashion. If you've ever come across a book by John Green (Looking for Alaska, Paper Towns and the Fault in Our Stars) you might like this. Either way, I hope you will read this and think of it as more than just mere fan-fiction.
Parked, I gripped the steering wheel. For some reason, I felt heavier.
"We were always meant to be together." I whispered to myself... or perhaps not.
It was raining. How ironic. Irony used to remind me that there was a God. Nowadays, I'm not sure. What if irony was just random happenstance? How cruel would that be?
After a moment of concentration that honestly, shouldn't have been necessary, I got out of my car. The rain was heavy and all I wore was this camo jacket. No hat, no umbrella, no nothing. I let the rain shower me, the heavy drops beating on my body. Back when I was an aspiring soldier, I used to go on early morning runs and a few times it rained and pretty hard like this. The water pouring down my face reminded me of those runs. Back then, I felt good, alive even. Now, I felt like an inanimate object at the mercy of this weather.
"Brick?"
I looked down and saw Dawn standing right next to me with umbrella in hand. I wonder if I looked as melancholic as her. She smiled but one look into those eyes made it clear that it was disingenuous.
Dawn had her long blonde hair down today, just like she had during that vile reality show her and I competed years ago. She was short, easily the shortest girl during Total Drama. Skinny too. Her eyes were always droopy, a side-effect of her marijuana use. Despite all that, she was beautiful. More beautiful than I cared to admit.
"So how's my aura today?" I asked her. I never took her psychic talk seriously- unlike everyone else- but I decided to humor her today. She was aware of my question's context. Her smile became a tad more genuine.
"It's blue." she said in her childlike voice- which the rest of us oft teased her about.
"Appropriate." I began looking around as if examining my surroundings. "What about the city?"
"The city's aura rarely ever changes."
A nihilistic thought crossed through my head. I've been having a lot of those lately. I looked down at Dawn who looked sullen. I wasn't sure if it was because of me or because of today. Maybe both. I felt sometimes that Dawn was swimming in my emotions, a feeling I disliked. However, right now, it was nice because I didn't have to explain how I felt. She already knew.
We walked into Enchanted, the artsy bar where hipsters hung out and did whatever it is they do. The place was bought my Mr. McGillis, Enchanted's mysterious owner. He quickly turned the once ratty Filipino restaurant into a bar & grill that looked more like an art exhibit. The wood floors were smooth and colored black, the walls were painted white and littered with odd paintings, weird music played on the jukebox and the seating was all lounge furniture.
We began using this bar as our base of operations back in our freshman year of university. We had formed a study group that consisted of myself, Dawn, B, Lightning and Lightning's girlfriend at the time, Victoria. Needless to say, we were a quirky bunch. In fact, the only reason such clashing personalities came together was from our shared time spent on Total Drama and the ever so gorgeous, funny and adventurous Victoria.
After days of arguing where to study, we eventually settled with Enchanted when we met Ella, a Total Drama competitor from season 5. She said Mr. McGillis would let us study there for the sole fact that we too were Total Drama contestants. He wanted whatever publicity we could give him and we wanted to study at a bar for bragging rights.
Other than Dawn, it took me and the others a while to like this bar and for the bar to like us. I remember back in the day always feeling like the 'army guy' whenever I set foot in this bar. Even back then those 'aspiring soldier' days were behind me but I still felt labeled. Now? I'm apart of this bar's community and I couldn't imagine us drinking anywhere else.
Dawn and I hung our coats on the fancy coat rack near the door and walked towards our usual booth, the one placed right in the middle of the bar. B sat in silence with drink already in hand. B looked exactly like Dawn- expression-wise. However, as soon as he spotted us, he smiled with excitement and waved. He stood up and embraced us as if he hadn't seen us in years even though he was my roommate and Dawn lived right at the end of the hallway. His hugs were so tight that I was pretty sure he could kill someone. He was a big guy after all. To me, he kinda looked like Rick Ross with a lighter skin pigment.
Soon enough, Lightning showed up. Now usually, he would burst in with a 'sha-something' and everyone would be ecstatic to see him. Other than the latter, today was not one of those days. He wasn't his charismatic and energetic self. He hid it well though.
Lightning had everything I envied: he was tall, confident, muscular, handsome, athletic... I mean the only thing I didn't envy about him was the white hair he retained from being struck by lightning- again, irony.
We all stood up and hugged him. I was worried of hugging him too hard thinking that he might burst into tears if I did. We all sat down. I sat next to Dawn and Lightning sat next to B. It was a seating arrangement we all silently agreed upon years ago.
"Well if it isn't my favorite customers in the whole world!" Ella said in her usual sweet tone.
Despite only being 18 at the time, Mr. McGillis gave her a job at the bar. At first, she was a cook and wasn't allowed to touch the alcohol but as soon as she turned 21, she became a waitress and if need be, a bartender. I'm certain that McGillis wanted to make use of her looks. She dressed like Snow White and had the beauty to match but you didn't have to have x-ray vision to know she had a rockin' body beneath those princess-like outfits.
I couldn't imagine working the same job for eight years but Ella seemed to enjoy every minute of it. An enjoyment I used to take when I trained. I was jealous of her. She found her passion and I lost mine.
"Here are your menus!" Ella said- er- sang and handed them to us in her usual upbeat and motherly manner. "Do you four want the usual?" she giggled every time she said that.
"Oh you know what Lightning likes." he said, trying to sound flirtatious when in fact, he sounded like he was trying too hard.
"Wonderful!" Ella said and scurried off.
When she was out of earshot we sat there waiting for Lightning's usual quip.
"Oh yeah." he noticed us staring. "That girl give Lightning the creeps."
We all laughed but I knew as soon as we stopped, we would become sad and quiet.
When the laughter died, I immediately posed a question: "So did anyone watch Total Drama last night?" as soon as I said, I felt stupid. Neither of us watched Total Drama. It was just a desperate, impulsive attempt to act like today wasn't today.
"Lightning doesn't care about Total Drama." he said and didn't bother to hide his sadness like he did with Ella.
B frowned and shook his head. He empathized. We all did.
I tried to come up with something to say, something that would lighten the mood. I wasn't good at thinking on my feet so it took a moment of everyone else being down in the dumps for me to propose this: "Hey after this, you should all hang out at the apartment. B and I finally finished my rap project. We could have ourselves a small listening party. Maybe invite a few people."
I looked over to B who nodded proudly. He and I have been working on my mixtape ever since the beginning of this year. Beardo, the Reggie Watts-looking guy who, like Ella, competed in season 5, made all the beats. B mixed and mastered everything and I of course, rapped.
Any of mention of me rapping always compelled Dawn to say something along the lines of me trying desperately to find an image after an existential crisis shed my army one. She always said it in a way that didn't seem like she was trying to mock me but she repeated it so often that I began to reconsider. She didn't do it today which actually bummed me out this time.
"Here's your drinks!"
Ella handed us our usuals: a beer for Lightning and I, a rum and coke for B and a gin and tonic for Dawn. She then grabbed a notepad from the pocket of her pink apron ready to take our order.
I looked down at our menus and realized that the four of us hadn't even touched them.
"Sorry Ella." I chuckled with embarrassment. "Could you give us another minute to think?"
"Not at all, Brick! Take as much time as you need! I'll be back shortly!" she sang that last sentence.
I looked at Lightning again. "So what do you say?"
After taking a sip of his beer, he set it back down and stared at it.
"He doesn't want to but he feels compelled to in order-"
"Yes, Dawn I get it." I cut her off.
"Lightning will tell you after the visit."
I knew what that really meant and I frowned, defeated. I glanced over at B who, like lightning, looked down at his drink, lost in thought.
Dawn put her hand gently on my thigh. We didn't have to look at each other to know how the other one felt. Dawn usually swam in my emotions. This time however, she was floating in them looking up at nothing.
As I feared, our night became silent one. While everyone around us was happy and lively, we sat in our little booth in the middle of it feeling anything but. It was like this every time this day rolled around the corner.
The only words we exchanged the rest of night were towards Ella. We sat in silence, ate in silence and later, we would grieve in silence because four years ago on this day, we lost Victoria. The gal that brought us four together, Lightning's fiance... and the girl I've loved since the day I met her.
By the end of the night, I briefly glanced at the TV. I couldn't hear anything but the subtitles were on. "Welcome back to another season of Total Drama!" said Topher, another season 5 contestant who replaced Chris McLean some time ago. "This season, we have an all-new cast! There's going to pain, betrayal and-"
"Let's get the out of here." I said.
If you've made it this far, I hope I've written an interesting enough opening that you'll continue on this journey with me. Thank you for your time and I will do my best not to disappoint you.