Disclaimer : Unfortunately I do NOT own POTO..otherwise Erik would have ended up with Christine long ago ;)

Chapter 1 : Not yet past the Point of no Return

Raoul was already rowing them over the lake, when her thoughts were still swirling wildly through her head - just like the mist did on the lake´s surface.

She felt strange..to say the least.

Wasn´t her face supposed to lighten up with joy as the aspect of finally beginning a life without dangers and worries with the one she loved and had known since her childhood ?

Wasn´t she supposed to feel satisfied with her life and confirmed that she had done everything right and not chosen wrong ?

Shouldn´t she feel excited ?...Not at least a little bit ?

Because there was non..No feeling like that at all.

Christine just felt empty and very sad..to be underestimating.

It was as if life and joy had drained out of here, and all that was left sitting in the boat was a mere shadow.

A shadow, which felt as if every row of the boat brought her away from possible salvation a bit more.

She turned her head and faced Raoul, who was far too concerned with trying to get them out of here as fast as he could, to notice her .

It really was strange...She looked at her lover and all the feelings she had been having for him...were gone..simply gone...

She tried to remember them...though as hard as she tried all she could find in her soul then, were mere symphaties..nothing more and nothing less..

He may be a good friend, yes...but a lover ? Not anymore..Not since there had been the Phantom...

"Angel.." She let his "name" linger on her tongue in a whispered manner, as if it was a delicious meal which earned to be relished, afraid for a second that Raoul could be hearing her. But he didn´t, of course...

And so her mind wandered off...

...to dark distant places as my Angel would have said. She smiled sadly.

I wonder..what if ? Just what if

What if I had chosen him ?

What if I had chosen the Phantom over Raoul ?

What if...what if I had chosen right

And then it hit her. Everything became so heavenly clear, that she nearly laughed out loud at the simplicity of it.

"Raoul ?" She said in a loud and steady voice, so she was sure to be heard.

"Yes, my love ?" He asked, slightly out of breath.

"Take- take me back."

This demand actually made him stop at once in his rowing. He turned around and looked at her as if she were mad; which she seemed to him.

"My love ? Surely you mean "take me back to the light and away from the monster"? Don´t you ?"

His voice had changed into a slightly pleading, unbelieving tone.

"No, Raoul, with "back" I mean "back"...Back to the Phantom."

His expression became unreadable. Christine wasn´t sure if he was going to hit her or to cry over it.

Then his lips began to tremble.

"You- you can´t be serious, Christine ! This...this is someting he put you under, right ? Like some sort of spell ? Yes, that has got to be it, you´re still under his spell, nothing more ! Christine ?"

This last question of his, was asked as a need to be confirmed.

"Raoul, listen..." She looked him straight into the eye, a determinded look on her face.

"Either you row me back or I´ll swim back ! It doesn´t matter what you do, I´ll get back either way...the only difference is, that I´ll get wet one way, which I wouldn´t appreciate so much..."

He stared back at her; suddenly with a hard expression, just looking as determinded as herself.

"Fine ! Seeing as you´re not going to be helpful I´ll take things into my own hands !"

With that she stood up and prepared to jump. If it wasn´t for a hand, that firmely grapped her arm.

"Forget it ! I won´t let you go back to that monster ! You´re out of your mind right now, and don´t even know it !"

"The only one out of his mind is you, Raoul ! I´ve made my final decision and now let me go, since I really don´t want to hurt you !"

He refused and even tightened his grip.

"Ok, I warned you about this..."

Before he could even react she kicked him hard between the legs - the ballerina lessons finally were good for something - and then pushed back and away at his injured shoulder, causing him to fall and remain, slightly whimpering in pain.

She advanced the end of the boat, turned around once more.

"I´m sorry, Raoul. Really, I´ve loved you once..but my heart thought otherwise...And if you still love me after this, then please, don´t come back or try to find me...Goodbye !"

With that she jumped.

A few exhausting moments later she had gotten used to the constant weight of her wedding dress, that tried to pull her underwater. Her mind focused on the destination ahead; she swam on without much difficulty.

Finally she reached the shore. Allowing herself to collaps on the sand. Through half-lidded eyes she noticed the boat still present but already farer away. She smiled to herself.

So he held his promise..

Again, she stood up, trying to get the water out of her clothes while she walked.

Her eyes darted across the room, trying to find her beloved Phantom.

Just where could he be ? Maybe..

She turned her head, when she heard the faint sound of music coming from the room that was up the stairs.

If this is the same room that has got the bed in it ? For reasons unknown to her, she blushed at that thought.

Christine quickly made her way, carefully trying not to drip over her still wet dress.

With her heart beating fast in her chest, she finally stood in front of the room.

Different emotions tore her inside apart :

For one there was excitement, about the - hopefully - final right decision.

Then nervousnes, on how he would react.

And then anxiousity; about the "what if not´s" that she did not dare let herself think about.

Taking a deep breath, she summoned all her strength and walked into the room.

She was relieved, when she actually saw him sitting there. On the bed, where she once had been sleeping in...

She carefully advanced him, but not too far. Wanting to leave him enough space, that he still could decide and felt comfortable.

-----------------------------------------------------------

After the two humans had left him for good, the Phantom had silently returned to the depth of his lair; backing away from the world, not wanting to be a part of it anymore.

Actually...He thought...I don´t care...

I don´t care enough anymore..

The world and everything in it, had died the moment his beloved angel had left him...

When he then heard the footsteps, his first thought was of the mob.

So they finally arrived here...here in my secret lair..

...So be it..! I couldn´t care less..

He just wondered for seconds if they would simply kill him or first torture and humiliate him...though latter would be quite impossible by now, since his backbone and pride had been shattered into a million of pieces..as had been his heart.

The footsteps continued and increased in volume, which ment, that the someone was coming nearer.

Although one part of him didn´t care, the other - the curious and still alive part - wondered why it only was a single one. His hearing wasn´t that bad - quite the opposite ! - that he wasn´t able to differ from the sound one single person was making to a large crowd in riot...Or was it ?

The rustling of feet over ground stopped for a moment, then went on, though this time slower.

The someone seemed to be standing outside right now.

Maybe someone´s been sent out to look if I was still there..a scout of some sort...

Lazy he turned his head to take a closer at this newcomer;

To his greatest surprise it was no one else, ...but...

Christine !?

...This - this is impossible ! There is no way in hell she can truly be standing here !...

None !

I- I must be dreaming it,..just my imagination...!

May- maybe...this was all, but a long and wonderful dream..

I always suspected that the happiness I felt when being with her couldn´t be from this world..

All just a dream...

Her heart skipped a beat when the Phantom looked at her, a sad smile on his lips.

Although - and if he hadn´t seen her after all - he turned his attention to the puppet of a monkey, clad in persian clothes with chimes in its hands, that turned out to be a musical box, which stood right before him on a table.

A soft and familiar melody began to play out of it. She immediately recognized the song as the one being played at the masquerade.

To her surprise, her Phantom began to sing softly. His eyes never leaving the monkey, though he seemed to be seeing something else in the back of his mind :

" Masquerade !
Paper faces on parade . . .

Masquerade !
Hide your face,
so the world will
never find you !"

He had closed his eyes at the last tune, and opened them again, when he looked at her with the same sad expression as before.

"Shall I ? Hide my face again and escape ?...What do you think, oh my angelic imagination ?"

He gave her a strange smile; which made her quite uneasy to decide, wheter she should smile back or feel afraid.

"You may say.." He continued. "..it seems to be rather crazy to talk to a memory...a ghost of the past no longer related to me..." He gave a light sob, diving deeper into his depression.

This sight of him almost broke her heart and ripped at her soul.

Had he really lost all hope for her and was truly seeing her as a mere imagination, since not being able to comprehend..not able to bare with it...not able to believe, that for once his life had turned good.

The pain she felt was almost physical; like someone had stabbed her right into the heart.

Suddenly his mood changed; from mere sadness to darkest bitterness. Raising his voice he looked at her accusingly;

"Just why are you haunting me ?! Haven´t I suffered enough already, can´t you just let me alone ??" Tears were running down his face by now, even on his right side.

In a semi-outburst he stood up, and did a few steps on shaky legs in her direction, waving his hands in a gesture that should probably scare her away.

"Go away !" He screamed, obviously in pain. "Leave me alone !!"

Sobbing hard now, he returned to the edge of the bed and let himself fall onto it, his face in his hands. She watched him struggle with his inner turmoil, not daring to interfere.

It didn´t take long and his breathing had returned to a more or less normal manner; but still was his face hidden between his fingers.

"Take-...take away.." His voice weak at the beginning, ragged. "Take away these memories of my love !" In a whisper he continued; like he was telling a secret the world was not supposed to hear.

"Take away the memories of her body and her face, of the sound of her voice...so that my mind can soothe and my heart becomes empty once again..."

This moved her heart to a point where she feared it would burst;

tears also running in streams down her cheeks.

Silently crying together with him, she advanced his crestfallen form and knealed down right in front of him. Her voice full of regret and remorse, when she whispered to him; new tears already forming in her eyes;

"Oh my Angel...what have I done ?"

She took his hands into hers, squeezed them; fresh tears falling on his skin.

Her tears seemed to somehow bring him back to reality; as the wetness seeped through the thick layer of black dismalness and hopelessness and awakened him once again.

As if awakening out of a trance, he stared down at her with wide eyes, unbelieving..

Was he dreaming ?

No, for the tears felt much too real on the skin of his hand.

So was this really his angel there in front of him, regretting the past ?

"Christine ?" He asked unbelieving, with a voice hoarse from crying.

She looked up, her eyes slightly puffy from the tears she had just shed on him, because of him,

for him...

Nontheless there was also a weak smile around the corners of her mouth;

she was reliefed that her angel was talking to her again.

On one hand she wanted to tell him so much : how sorry she was, that she really felt terrible for her past actions; but also of her feelings about him - feelings, that till now had been just vaguely to her, almost ghostlike, shadowy..just like him.

On the other side she feared that too much talking would scare him away; maybe making him think that this was all a trap, that she only came back to distract him till the police and the mob arrived. So she simply asked - putting as much emotion in it as possible;

"Yes ?" Her smile grew wider, wanting to encourage him on whatever he was planning next.

He began to tremble; his face a meeting point of all kind of emotions at one time.

Despite that, he managed to speak with a steady but quiet voice, reaching out to touch her face with one hand;

"My Angel..is that really you ? My Angel of Music, my Christine..?"

She just nodded as an answer, suppressing a sob; trying to smile her most beautiful smile and pressing her face against the tentative hand of his.

His eyes met hers and then it was the first time they both did realize how much their lifes just had changed. The green of his eyes still of a sad shade, but not as much as they had before.

An expression she had never seen before on him tried to break the surface.

Maybe relief ? Overwhelming joy ? Or had she really been so blind and never seen this look in his eyes before, that promised her heaven and so much more all in one look, willing to give up anything for her, for them... Had she never seen this breathtaking shine of love in his eyes ?

He broke out in tears anew, looking down for the slightest moment to gather himself again.

When he looked up again, he brought a second hand to her face, cupping it, his fingers caressing the flesh they found beneath; he gently stroked over her cheeks and eyelids, lingered shortly on her lip to then brush along her throat just at he´d done before.

She closed her eyes at this sudden sign of affection.

Reluctantly Erik stopped, and eventually kissed her forehead, whispering against it;

"Stand up now, my love. For we have to leave."

Note : Reviews are much appreciated ;)