I don't even know what I'm doing with my life anymore.
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Organization XIII Meets Most Haunted
There were many things Xemnas regretted in life.
For example, one of his upmost deepest regrets was requesting tanning tips from Marluxia, which had left him permanently orange. Or that time he had allowed Demyx to host a party in Castle Oblivion. It had taken them weeks to finally re-capture the castle from that angry herd of ostrich's. Still, though he had a long list of regrets, there was one that could not be beaten. One regret that topped them all...allowing Organization XIII to star in the hit ghost-hunting series, Most Haunted.
He was fully aware that his so called Organization consisted mainly of dummies and imbeciles, however, when the host of Most Haunted, Yvette Fielding, had contacted the superior, offering the Organization a chance to appear on the show, Xemnas had agreed, believing it would be good for publicity. Then he remembered how idiotic his small army of Nobodies were.
Still, he believed that with the right supervision, this could be a chance for the Organization to win over the people. Gain more support. Save their tarnished reputation.
In order to make sure this decision to appear on the show would not damage the Organization's status further, Xemnas had carefully selected seven members who he trusted to make a good impression on the show. Firstly, he'd chosen Demyx, Axel and Zexion, for their supposed good looks. He was well aware of how popular they were with the fangirls, and hoped their appearance would perhaps gain even more support. Xigbar and Saїx had also been selected, mainly to act as chaperones. Xemnas knew just how unruly Axel and Demyx could be, and he didn't want the two pranksters embarrassing themselves on national television. Marluxia would also be participating in the show, but this was just due to the fact he wanted to appear on TV, in hopes of being scouted by a modelling agency for his 'charming good looks'. Apparently the Organization just wasn't enough for the Graceful Assassin nowadays.
This small group of seven, carefully picked by Xemnas now stood at the base of an exceptionally threatening structure that loomed high up into the night sky, casting a large shadow over the modest gathering of Nobodies. This construction was Harrington prison, an ancient, derelict jail that had been abandoned for many, many years.
Now, none of these men were particularly apprehensive about exploring the old prison for paranormal entities, other than Demyx, who was practically shitting his pants from fear. Even as the Most Haunted crew, led by Yvette Fielding, made their way over to the Nobodies, they remained calm, not feeling at all concerned, again, other than Demyx, who tried to hold Zexion's hand for reassurance. This attempt only resulted in his face being met with Zexion's palm.
"Ah, good evening, gentlemen," Yvette greeted, upon finally reaching the group, "Oh, and lady," She added quickly, upon catching sight of Marluxia. This was immediately met with a series of snickers, courtesy of Axel, Xigbar and Demyx, followed by a round of outraged spluttering from the Graceful Assassin himself, who was clearly quite affronted at being mistaken for a woman. Yvette, however, failed to realise her mistake, and instead, began to address the camera.
"I am Yvette Fielding, and for tonight's show we shall be heading into Harrington Prison, accompanied by some members of the infamous Organization XIII. Now, this prison dates back to the 1700's, and is notorious for poltergeist activity," Yvette began, looking solemnly into the camera, blissfully unaware of a certain pink-haired Nobody sidling into the background, where he began to stare seductively into the camera. He was not the only one eager to make an impression. The Graceful Assassin was soon followed by none other than Xigbar, who wore a suggestive smirk, and above his head, held a large sign that consisted of what looked to be his personal mobile number. Underneath these digits, the words 'Call me, ladies!' were scrawled rather messily. He winked at the camera. Clearly Xemnas had been mistaken in believing the Freeshooter would act as some sort of chaperone to the small troupe of Nobodies. Saїx was most definitely going to have a difficult time attempting to control this bunch of losers, other than perhaps Zexion, who merely sulked moodily. This was definitely a waste of his time.
"Why am I even here?" Zexion complained, staring in disgust at the two Nobodies, who continued to hover in the background, attempting to gain as much attention as possible. It wasn't long before Demyx decided he wanted in on the fun too, and he happily inched into the shot too, waving at the camera cheerfully.
"HI MOM!"
"Demyx! Get back here!" Saїx hissed, "You don't have a mother!" Zexion merely groaned loudly, choosing to face-palm in disgust. He could already tell that this was going to be an infuriatingly long night, especially considering he was having to spend it with these dweebs. Luckily, he'd brought along a book with him, in hopes he would be able to slink off to somewhere more secluded later on in the night, for a bit of peace and quiet. Meanwhile, it seemed as though Axel refused to let his fellow Nobodies hog the limelight, and he too made his way into the background shot of the camera, where, upon positioning himself a few steps away from Yvette, began to pelvic thrust. Somehow, this all went unnoticed by Yvette, who continued to relay Harrington Prison's long history in paranormal happenings, although it definitely did not go unnoticed by her husband, Karl, who looked as though he wanted to chuck the camera directly at Axel's face. Saїx merely looked up to the sky in defeat, wondering what he had done to annoy the superior enough to land him in a situation such as this one. He had been asked to make sure the small group of Nobodies did not further tarnish the Organization's already poor reputation, however, Saїx knew that the chances of him successfully controlling these imbeciles were near enough impossible. He would've happily chucked himself in front of a train to avoid doing this task, however, the superior had insisted, and Saїx was not one for defying orders.
"-and her ghost is said to haunt these halls to this very day," Yvette finished grimly, remaining completely oblivious to the antics of the Nobodies stood behind her. She turned to face the group, who immediately ceased their actions, other than Marluxia, who continued to pout at the camera, tousling his pink locks seductively. "Now, each of you will be equipped with a camera and torch, and hopefully we'll be able to capture some activity, tonight." The Most Haunted crew handed out a few small handheld cameras, as well as torches. Upon receiving his, Marluxia immediately directed the lens onto his face, winking seductively.
"Woah, I look even better than usual today, if that's even possible," He chuckled to himself lowly, flicking his pink locks out of his face. "Night vision is so flattering," He began to study his face at different angles, becoming more and more satisfied with his face.
"Does everyone have a camera, yes? Let's go then!" Yvette began to lead the group into the sinister building, "Now, for the duration of the night, we're going to be travelling throughout the building. For the first half we'll be investigating together, and then later we'll split into smaller groups. Or maybe we can send a few of you off on your own...so, how are you all feeling?" She asked, as they began to walk down the abandoned hallways, their footsteps echoing loudly off the scratched and fragmented walls.
"Can I leave yet?" Zexion asked. Yvette chose to ignore him.
"C'mon, Zexy, lighten up. It'll be fun," Axel nudged the smaller Nobody, a mischievous grin on his face. He knew how much Zexion hated his little nickname.
"This will be anything but fun," Demyx stated shakily, as he gripped the torch tightly. His eyes darted around nervously, straining to catch the slightest sign of anything paranormal, so that he could make a run for it. It was every man for himself in here, as far as he was concerned.
"Well, here we are. The prison cells," Yvette announced, leading the group past a series of empty cells, before entering one at random. The group piled in. "Now, these cells are known for having the most activity, so make sure you keep your eyes peeled. Now, if you could all just switch off your torches, please." Simultaneously, all the lights went out at once, leaving the group in complete and utter darkness, much to Demyx's dismay.
"Oh my God...it's so dark!" Demyx whispered loudly, sounding half nervous, half excited, "OHMYGOD! Something just TOUCHED me!" Yvette gasped at Demyx's outburst, clearly delighted at how quickly they were experiencing the paranormal.
"What happened? This is great we've got activity happening alrea-"
"Oh! Wait! It was just me...I brushed my leg...heh," Demyx laughed awkwardly, as the Nobodies and Most Haunted crew groaned loudly at his confession. This was followed by the unmistakable sound of someone slapping him. Already things were not going well.
"Okay, quiet, everyone! Quiet!" Yvette called, attempting to restore peace again. "The first thing I'm going to do is attempt to reach out to any spirits that may be nearby. Now, we'll need complete silence for this, otherwise it might not work." Demyx gulped loudly, his nerves almost getting the better of him again.
"Hello? Are there any spirit people here?" Yvette began, her voice echoing loudly off the stone walls. She frowned, as the sound of Axel and Xigbar snickering sounded out. Neither of them particularly believed in the paranormal, and they felt more than a bit silly standing in a derelict jail cell, attempting to contact some invisible entity. They would have gotten more conversation out of a brick wall. Yvette chose to ignore the two the best she could, continuing her tries to contact the dead, "Are there any spirits here with us now?"
"Yes~" An extremely high pitched, muffled voice rang out.
Immediately Yvette switched on her torch, flashing it in the direction of the voice. It wasn't hard to figure out what was going on, especially considering the loud snorts of laughter that had erupted from the far corner of the cell. There stood Xigbar and Axel, huddled together, desperately shushing each other. Axel, who had tears in his eyes from his efforts of attempting to contain his laughter, had been the one who had called out, hiding his mouth behind his hand in attempt to disguise what he was doing. He hadn't fooled anyone for a second, except maybe Demyx, who was still flashing his torch around the room, searching for the paranormal entity he believed had just spoken to them.
"Ghost hunting is a very serious activity, gentlemen," Yvette began coldly, clearly not seeing the funny side in Axel's antics, "and I would appreciate it if you'd take this investigation more seriously!" She cleared her throat, casting one last glare over the two pranksters, who were still giggling quietly to themselves.
"I'll try again," She stated, "Are there any spirits here with us now? Could you give us a sign? Make a noise, perhaps?" The cast and crew were met with complete silence, other than the sound of Zexion yawning in a bored manner. He really wasn't enjoying this.
"We don't mean you any harm! We just want to communicate," Yvette tried again, "Please let us know you're he- what was that!?" The group froze, the mood becoming a lot more serious now, as a clear rustling noise sounded out from somewhere extremely close by. Even Marluxia had ceased his pouting, the grip on his camera tightening, as he pointed the lens to focus on the room now.
The rustling noise rang out again, this time slightly quieter.
"Can you hear it?" Karl whispered, as he slowly edged closer to his wife. There was more rustling, followed by a soft gnawing. Had a stray animal somehow gotten into the building?
"Hang on..." Marluxia began, sniffing suspiciously. The crew directed their cameras onto him, wondering what revelation he had in mind, "Can I smell...is that chocolate!?" He demanded, as another rustle rang out. Hurriedly, Marluxia shone his torch towards where he thought the source of noise to be, his eyes widening dramatically at his discovery.
There stood Demyx, chocolate staining his lips, which were currently locked around a half eaten Kit Kat bar.
Upon realising he'd been exposed, the Melodious Nocturne chuckled nervously, hastily wiping his mouth on the sleeve of his Organization coat, "Oh...sorry, guys! I get kinda peckish when I'm nervous...heh," His reply was met with another chorus of exasperated sighs, and the unmistakable growl of Saїx, who anger was increasing drastically as each second ticked by. These dunces were seriously testing his patience, he didn't know how much longer he could take this torture.
"Hang on!" Saїx closed his eyes in a frustrated manner, pinching the bridge of his nose as Xigbar piped up suddenly. This couldn't be good. "Where's the little dude? Where's Zexion?" The tension in the room grew thicker as everyone began shining their torches in different directions, searching for the Cloaked Schemer. Demyx had taken it upon himself to shine his torch around the floor in his search, clearly misjudging Zexion's height. Though the missing Nobody was short, he wasn't that short.
"They've-they've taken Zexy! NO ONE'S SAFE ANYMORE!" Demyx screeched, clearly starting to panic, "RUN! RUN AWAY!" He turned quickly, attempting to stage his escape. Unfortunately he ran directly into Saїx, who grabbed him by his coat, refusing to let him leave. If Saїx had to endure this torture, then so did Demyx.
"If he's been killed by a ghost, can I have his room when we get back?" Axel asked Saїx, a rather hopeful look on his face, "His is bigger than mine," Saїx thought for a second, before nodding, much to Axel's delight.
"No one's getting my room. I'm over here, you imbeciles," Came Zexion's exasperated voice. Following the source of speech, the group found the Cloaked Schemer in the neighbouring cell, sitting cross-legged on the floor with a book open in his lap.
"Dude," Xigbar groaned, shaking his head in disbelief at Zexion, "You're such a nerd,"
"What are you even reading?" Axel demanded, snatching the book out of Zexion's hand, before the bookworm could object. There was a brief silence, before, "...Are you serious? 50 Shades Darker!?" Axel eyed Zexion in complete and utter disbelief. They were meant to be filming a TV show, and here sat Zexion, huddled in the corner reading a somewhat pornographic book.
"Ah, the superior and I are very fond of that series, we've just finished reading the first instalment," Saїx stated, as if what he had just said was completely normal. His statement was met with an eruption of obnoxious snickers, courtesy of Marluxia, Axel and Xigbar. Zexion just looked as though someone had peed on everything he loved. Demyx, however, seemed to be highly interested in the topic.
"Oh, yeah! I've read that too!"
Axel blinked in surprise, "Demyx...can you even read?" Demyx merely nodded in response.
"Uh-huh. I didn't like it very much...I personally believed it revelled in the justification of the emotional and physical abuse of females, identifying with the concept of misogyny, and therefore I found it exceedingly immoral and failed to see the enjoyment in reading such a book." Everyone turned to look a Demyx, staring at him as though he'd just grown three extra heads. He merely smiled happily in response.
"Whoa...where did that come from?" Marluxia asked, staring at the Melodious Nocturne in awe. Demyx shrugged in reply.
"Gentlemen?" The Nobodies jumped at the sound of Yvette's voice, clearly forgetting all about the Most Haunted crew, and the fact that they were currently being filmed, "Are we ready to continue?" Zexion grabbed his book from Axel, storing it safely in his pocket, before finally getting back to his feet, thankful for the distraction. He hoped that the Most Haunted crew would edit that part out, he wasn't sure he wanted it to be broadcasted on national television that he read sex books. The fangirls would have a field day.
"Okay, we're all ready now, yes? So, I'm going to call out one more time, if we could have complete silence and concentration...thank you," Yvette eyed the Nobodies up, making sure they were all on their best behaviour. This episode was turning out to be nothing short of a disaster. "If there's anybody here with us now, please give us a sign! We're not here to hurt you! We just want to talk! Could you perhaps throw something or make a nois-"
BANG!
She hadn't even finished her sentence when the deafening crash had rang out, which immediately was followed by a series of unmanly shrieks, courtesy of Xigbar and Demyx.
Yvette gasped excitedly, "Did you all hear that!?" She demanded, in a hushed whisper. Her question was met with a loud huff from Marluxia, who rolled his eyes in response.
"Well it was a bit hard to miss," He commented, standing with his hands resting on his hips.
Yvette merely shushed the pink-haired man, "Ssh! I'm going to call out again, see if we can get more of a response!" She cleared her throat, "Hello? Was that you? Could you give us another sign? Perhaps touch one of the crew members? Just touch Xigbar on the shoulder? Or maybe you could hit Demyx?"
"Hey!" Demyx protested, indignantly. Yvette shushed him.
"Come on...just one more sign?"
'YO, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT, WHAT I REALLY, REALLY WANT, SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOU REALLY, REALLY WANT-'
The group jumped, however, their fright quickly turned to confusion, as they shone their torches round for the source of noise.
"What the..."
'I WANNA, I WANNA, I WANNA, I WANNA, I WANNA REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WANNA ZIGAZIG AH-'
After a few seconds of confusion, it became apparent that the loud singing was actually Saїx, or more specifically, his mobile phone, which he had apparently forgotten to turn on silent before the show.
"Ah, sorry, it's the superior, I have to take this," And with that, he left the cell, leaving to find a more secluded spot to converse with Mansex.
"Dude, who knew he was a fan of the Spice Girls," Axel stated, staring after him in wonder. Marluxia, meanwhile, was humming the rest of the song to himself, making a mental note to ask Saїx about his excellent music tastes later on. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all.
Meanwhile, the Most Haunted crew were beginning to lose their patience. There'd been one too many interruptions, and Karl was beginning to consider just cancelling the episode. It was turning out to be a massive failure. "This is a disaster," he informed his wife, who immediately agreed with him. "Y'know, maybe we should just skip this bit and get straight to the Ouija board," Demyx perked up at the suggestion of leaving the creepy cells, there was only one problem.
"What's a Luigi board?"
The Most Haunted crew could only sigh in response.
"I've decided I don't really like Luigi boards," Demyx stated in dismay, staring rather apprehensively at the glass that sat in the middle of the large board in front of him. Zexion face-palmed in disbelief.
"For the last time, you half-eaten nugget, it's a Ouija board, got it memorized?" Axel stated, shaking his head at the Melodious Nocturne. Truth be told, he was impressed that the blonde was still here, he'd expected him to have fled by now.
"Okay, gentlemen, I'm guessing you all know what happens now, if you could all just place a finger on the glass," The Nobodies followed Yvette's instructions, minus Saїx, who was still apparently on the phone to the superior. "Right...is there anyone here with us? Can you move the glass for us, please?" There was a series of gasps, as the glass immediately began to move slowly in small circles.
"Why are you here? Is there's something you'd like to tell us? Do you have a message of some sort?" Yvette asked, as the glass began to circle the board faster, "Make sure to keep your fingers on the glass, boys. Is there anything you want to say?" The glass slowly began to move to the letter D, followed by an E, T and a H. Demyx whimpered in terror.
"D.E.T.H...I think it means death, maybe it's a warning!" Yvette cried out, for some reason looking as though she enjoyed the foreboding message."How scary!" Zexion merely snorted in response.
"The only thing scary about this is that ghosts spelling," The Cloaked Schemer mocked, clearly not enjoying himself one bit. He couldn't wait till the night was over. In fact, he was beginning to find that he felt rather tired. After all, it was extremely late.
"Does anyone care that Saїx still hasn't come back?" Marluxia asked suddenly. His question was immediately met with a series of the answer 'no' from both the Nobodies and the Most Haunted crew.
"Concentrate, boys!" Yvette stated, turning everyone's attention back to the moving glass. "Now, would anyone like to try calling out? See if we can get another good response? How about you, Axel?" The red-head didn't look particularly thrilled at Yvette's request, but he cleared his throat, none the less, and nodded. He still didn't believe in the paranormal, and the idea of calling out made him feel incredibly stupid.
"Ahem...deadpeoplesaywhut,"
Xigbar and Demyx both giggled in response, whilst Marluxia merely tutted. Clearly he didn't find Axel at all funny.
"Are you ever capable of being serious? Here, allow me," Marluxia straightened up, deciding to set a good example. After all, the superior would most likely be watching this episode once it was aired, and he didn't want to be penalised for not participating. "If there are any ghosts around...please move the glass to the best looking member," The glass stilled for a moment, before shooting so forcefully over to Axel that it almost fell off the edge of the board. Marluxia was positively outraged.
"What! How is he the best looking member! Look at him!" Marluxia eyed the red-head in disgust, "His hair makes him look like a red toilet brush! He's hide-"
"Silence, you silly pink excuse of a man," Axel stated, a large cocky grin on his face. He liked whoever this ghost was. Or maybe he just liked being complimented on his looks. Yvette merely sighed in exasperation, finally accepting the fact that the episode they were filming would most likely never be aired. This whole night had been a complete and utter joke.
"Maybe we should just call it a night," Karl sighed in defeat, placing a comforting hand on his wife's shoulder. She nodded hesitantly, realising that it was probably the best option now. The Organization seemed oblivious to the host's exasperation, and instead continued to attempt to reach out to any entities nearby. In fact, Xigbar had decided it was now his turn to call out.
"If there's any hot chicks with us now, my number is 0754-" He began, before immediately being interrupted by Zexion, who was completely and utterly done with the night.
"If there's anyone here please give us a sign already so I can leave," He stated. Surprisingly, his statement was met with a loud crash, somewhere from above. Silence fell upon the cast and crew, and the air suddenly grew thick. All funny antics were thrown aside immediately, as the temperature of the room suddenly dropped.
"I-I don't like this anymore," Demyx piped up, edging closer to Zexion, who admittedly was feeling a bit apprehensive at this point. The atmosphere felt a lot different now. It was incredibly eerie.
"Are you here with us now?" Yvette called out, completely used to this feeling. Footsteps rang out from the corner of the room, and everyone turned to stare at the source of noise, only to find there was nothing there. "Can you perhaps knock somethi-"
WOOSH!
"AAAAGH!" Demyx yelled out in fright, as a gust of air blew past the group. The Melodious Nocturne grasped onto Zexion's sleeve, tugging it desperately, "DID YOU SEE THAT!?" The group turned to him in fear, wondering what the Nobody had spotted to frighten him so much.
"What did you see?" Marluxia demanded, gripping the edge of the table tightly.
"I..I see dead people," Demyx whispered fearfully, his eyes widening dramatically. His statement was met with a series of sighs, and a face-palm from Yvette.
"Demyx, now is not the time to quote movies," She stated, shaking her head solemnly at the blonde Nobody. Demyx merely looked confused.
"I'm not quoting a movie! I really saw something! Honestly I saw-"
BANG!
Xigbar and Axel immediately squealed at the deafening noise, reflexively clinging onto each other as though their lives depended on it. It took them only a few seconds to realise there position, and Axel quickly shoved the older Nobody away in disgust, sending the Freeshooter crashing off his chair and onto the floor.
"We know you're there!" Yvette called out, deciding to encourage the invisible entity, "If you could just show yourself to us, it would be greatly appreciated...please? Please show yourself," The group grew quiet, as their eyes darted round the room nervously, clearly expecting something to happen. It was at that moment when the door suddenly swung open, a tall silhouette standing just outside the room.
Now Demyx didn't know why he had done it, because surely if it were a ghost then it would just fly straight through them? However, in his panic, he found himself reflexively jumping to his feet, and throwing the chair he had been sitting on towards the threatening figure with all his might. It met the target, with a loud smack!
It was upon hearing a series of groans afterwards that the Organization members realised that perhaps all was not as it seemed to be. Nervously, Axel shone his torch on the figure, only to see a hunched up Saїx pinching his nose, which was oozing with blood. The Nobodies knew that this was not going to end well, and the Most Haunted crew seemed to sense something was amiss, as Saїx's appearance began to change slightly. His hair becoming wild and tangled and his eyes turning a vivid yellow. It was a full moon.
"Karl, I think we'd better get out of here," Yvette muttered, her husband nodded, grabbing his wife's hand as they and the rest of the Most Haunted team made a quick exit out of the second door, Saїx's ragged breaths sounding out loudly. They knew that whatever was about to go down, they needed to be well out of the way.
"This is bad.." Marluxia mumbled, standing up uncertainly, his eyes locked upon the Luna Diviner, who was slowly starting to lose control.
"S-should we be running now?" Demyx uttered, looking at his fellow Organization members for support. It was technically his fault that Saїx was turning into his berserk mode, but he was at complete loss on what to do.
"We probably should," Axel nodded, his eyes widening as Saїx summoned his claymore, and began to slowly walk towards his fellow Nobodies. "RUN!"
Even from outside the old prison building, the Most Haunted crew could hear the pained screams of the Organisation members, along with the furious roars of Saїx, as he attacked them with all his might. Evidently, the night had been a complete and utter disaster, and the mauling of the Organization members was the last straw for the Most Haunted crew. They had never worked with a bunch of people as idiotic as these 'Organization' members, and never did they want to again. The night had undoubtedly been a complete and utter waste of time, money, and more importantly, brain cells.
Still, as Yvette ran towards the team van, she couldn't help but wonder about Saїx. How could someone with their ringtone set as the Spice Girls turn out to be so violent?
The world was a strange place indeed.