A/N: Okay, so I have edited and lengthened this story. I took the reviews to heart and I think I've developed it better. Hopefully the ending isn't so "blam!" and Finn isn't too dumb. I realized that when I wrote it the first time I wasn't giving his character too much credit. I was just upset about the whole business. I wrote this as, in a way, a response to another fic in regards to Theatricality. People were feeling like Finn was attacked in the episode, so I thought I'd put in a different Kurt perspective on the situation (it also kind of sums up my feelings on their bizarre relationship). Hope you like it. This is my first Glee fanfic, so please don't flame me too horribly. =)

Finn sat in the practice room after everyone left for the day. Rid of his red shower curtain, he was trying to pick off those horrible red eye sequins that Quinn gave him. I suppose this would be easier in front of a mirror, he thought as he looked down at the remains of his costume.

"Finn?"

Oh great, this is the last thing I need. "Hey Kurt."

"Finn, do you mind if I have a word with you?" Finn looked up at the question and saw Kurt standing in the doorway looking straight at him. It was a different look than the one Finn was custom to receiving so it took him a little off guard. Also the fact that he was no longer in his sparkly blue Lady Gaga outfit with ten-inch heels threw him off too, but the assignment was over so Kurt should be looking back to normal. Or whatever constituted as normal for him.

"Sure," Finn gestured to the empty seat next to him and Kurt walked over and sat down. He folded his hands in his lap, took a deep breath and looked right into Finn's eyes.

Oh no. Not this… I really don't need this, Finn thought as he averted his gaze. If he starts swooning about how I stood up for him I really don't know what I'll say. Why didn't I think that through? Oh, yeah. It was the right thing to do, and I can't keep letting jocks mess with my almost-brother….

"Finn, we need to talk about that argument you had with my Dad. And about my… infatuation with you."

"Look dude, I know I was totally out of line with the 'f' word and everything, and I know you can't just turn off your feelings but it seriously creeps me out! I mean, how would you feel if—" Finn cut himself off once he saw how narrow Kurt's eyes got. Clearly he did not want to be interrupted.

"I'm not in love with you. I had a crush on you. An infatuation. If you could hear me out it would probably benefit the both of us." Kurt paused and waited for any further disruption from Finn. When the other boy nodded Kurt continued. "Listen, I know it's been hard for you. You've been dealing with me making love-sick puppy eyes at you from across the room, and singing to you, and educating you about your t-zone, and I realize that I've been a little too… forward with my affection towards you. But Finn, you need to understand something. I know you're straight. You're as straight as I am gay, and I know there is no way in hell you'll ever fall for me."

Finn looked a little confused at this. "Then why do you keep flirting with me and stuff?"

"Old habits die hard. I have no idea why I'm behaving this way. Listen, I've been talking to Suzy Pepper. Do you know her? She's a couple of years older than us. She's a senior who really needs to learn how to use eyeliner. And she needs to drop the pepper outfits that make me want to rip my eyes out….

"Oh yeah, I know her. She's pretty nice. She dresses weird, but she's alright. I heard she tried to kill herself with a pepper or something because of… unrelented love? Is that the word?"

"Unrequited love, but yes that's her. I was offering her a makeover and we got to talking about you. Anyway, I've figured something out about myself and about us. You're a safe crush."

"A what?"

"A safe crush. You probably have no idea what it's like to be me. You've never been the type to have to worry about not getting the girl you wanted, or getting your feelings hurt because of a potential practical joke hanging in the air." Kurt flicked his hair at this, which Finn learned was a nervous habit of his.

"I didn't always get the girl I wanted. I didn't get Rachel," Finn interjected, he wasn't sure where this was going, but didn't like the insinuation that he just magically got everything he wanted.

"That's not what I meant. And you could have had Rachel. You just had your head too far up your ass to realize what was going on until it was too late. That's no one's fault but your own. Anyway, you are a safe crush for me. You are totally and 100% straight. That's not going over my head. You're also an extremely nice guy, so although it was uncomfortable for me to fawn over you like some teenage bimbo, you didn't act bothered by it. My feelings would never be reciprocated, and because of that I wouldn't worry about you playing some horrible joke on me because of my sexuality."

"What?"

"Finn, I don't really like you. That's what I'm trying to say. I really thought about it, and if you ever in any universe discovered you were gay, I would not be into you."

"Why not? I'm a nice guy!" Finn was surprised at the mild outrage in his voice. Kurt smiled.

"Because you didn't used to be a nice guy, Finn. The nicest thing you did for me was hold my jacket while your jock friends threw me in the dumpster. You would wait until after I got shoved into a locker to say anything. You participated in all of those horrible things the football team and the rest of the jocks did to me. Quite frankly I 'fell' for you because you were a little nicer to me and you're attractive." Kurt sighed and looked away. "But if you ever started displaying feelings towards me, I would run as far away from you as possible, because you were one of them."

"I don't understand what you're saying. You don't like me?" There was a tinge of relief and Finn held his breath waiting for the answer.

"God, you're dumb. I've just told you like, three times that I don't! We don't have anything in common except our parents and Glee Club for goodness sakes. And even if I did like you, which I DON'T, I would be more honorable than you seem to think I am," Kurt glared and wrinkled his nose a little.

This whole conversation was like an episode of the twilight zone. Finn just looked at Kurt slightly dazed as Kurt continued in a mildly hurt and very angry tone.

"I wouldn't jump you in the shower. I'm not some creeper that's gonna watch you sleep at night. I'm not constantly trying to check you out at home, and when I try to help you with your makeup by showing you how to use a moist towelette, I'm not trying to infect you with my gayness. I don't look for every opportunity to touch you, which should be obvious since I never actually DO touch you, and it really offended me that you couldn't stand to be near me that much."

"I don't think you'll infect me with gayness…" Finn said then grimaced at the wording. "I mean, I know you can't like… catch being gay or anything. That really wouldn't make any sense because you would have had to catch it from someone and you're like, the only gay guy I know…" Kurt raised an eyebrow at this as Finn kept fumbling on with his communication to the boy. "Oh crap that sounded bad. I didn't mean it that way!"

"I already told my Dad about my crush on you and that's what you were reacting to. I told about my hero worship and he got a little uncomfortable, then he felt bad about throwing you out."

Finn smiled in relief at that. He really didn't want Mr. Hummel upset with him. He was the closest thing to a Dad Finn had.

"I still don't know what you mean by a safe crush…" Finn said with a small awkward smile. Kurt sighed and flicked his hair again.

"Finn, when a girl comes up and flirts with you, what do you think is going on?" Kurt asked.

"I think she's trying to get a date out of me. Why?"

"Do you know what I think is going on when a guy flirts with me?"

Finn blinked at this. He couldn't quite comprehend anyone flirting with Kurt. Not even Puck, and Puck flirted with anything in tight clothes that moved. "I thought you were the only gay kid in this school."

Kurt tightened his lips. "I'm the only gay kid who is out in this school. That doesn't mean there aren't closet cases."

"Ah… well… no I guess I don't know what you think. That they're trying to get in your pants?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow at that. "Finn, I'm a guy. If there is another guy who is attractive and wants to get in my pants, why would I stop him? It's not like I'm a girl who needs to worry about pregnancy or whispers in the hallway about what a slut I am." Finn's eyes narrowed in confusion and Kurt tapped his toe in an irritated fashion. "What do you think? I'm a girl who just happens to have a dick?"

First Finn raised his eyebrows in surprise. Kurt always used really classy lingo when he spoke to anyone. The fact that the word "dick" came from his lips was a first. Then Finn opened his mouth as if to say something, but thought the better of it and closed it again. Now that he thought about it Finn did classify Kurt as a girl in a way. It didn't help that he referred to himself as an honorary girl while they had that bizarre Madonna week, but that was probably 'as a guy who understands girls' thing. "Well what do you think then?"

"I think 'what's this guy's angle?' Or, 'is he serious?' something to that effect. Because I know from the experiences of a couple of my myspace friends that it's hard to weed out the cruel ones from the honest ones, and I really don't want to deal with that. And on top of that if I think he is serious, I freak out because I have no idea what I'm doing. It's a hassle that's easy to avoid if I just really like you, so that's what I've been doing."

"According to Suzy Pepper?"

"According to my own analysis. Look Finn, I like you, but not in that "oh-my-god-he-and-i-should-get-married!' kind of way. We're friends and will potentially be brothers. I've gotten over it. I meant that when I said it the first time."

"So, what did your Dad say after you told him?" Finn asked.

"Not much really. I told him I would make things right with you. Then he said 'I don't care if you have a crush on him, he still can't call you a fag in this house,' and he walked back upstairs." Finn's eyes fell at that statement. "He's not really angry with you Finn. He's trying to make you learn a lesson. One time, when I was eight, I threw a ratchet and almost hit one of the cars in his garage and he kicked me out of the house for being a brat. Mind you it was a hard time for us then, so the reaction was extreme, but it's the same kind of deal. You've learned your lesson so now you're allowed back."

"Ah…"

"But he's not going to be too chummy with you at first I think…" Kurt frowned.

"So, you don't like me?"

"No, Finn, I don't like you. Well, not like that."

"And I'm allowed back in the house?"

"Yes, Finn, you're allowed back in the house."

"Does my Mom know about this?"

"Not as far as I know."

"Good." There was a brief pause. "Now what?"

"Now we go home. But I'm going to tell you something extremely important so I want you to listen to what I'm saying. We're going to share a room for a while, and that room is my room. I will do my best to give you your privacy and redecorate so your needs are fulfilled, but you need to try to stop acting like I'm gonna come at you from behind and rape you, okay?"

"O-okay."

"And if you ever, ever call me a fag again in my house I will beat you."

Finn laughed until he caught Kurt's menacing look.

"Finn, I work at a Garage and I've been taught how to fight by my Dad. I will beat you, and it will hurt. Never say that word in my house again. Are we clear?"

Finn's eyes were round and surprised, but he simply nodded his head. Kurt smiled.

"Great! Let's go home." Kurt rose and left the practice room in his usual fashion. Finn sat and stared blankly at his empty seat. After all that… a safe crush? Finn thought about the concept and remembered in Junior High when he had a crush on his math teacher, but that was because she was smokin' hot. Then again she was also way nicer than the girls his age and it was before his growth spurt, back when everyone but Puck was really mean to him. Maybe that was the kind of crush Kurt was talking about. And could Kurt beat him within an inch of his life? Finn didn't really think so because he was so much bigger, but Kurt did work in a garage and was probably pretty strong because of it. Why am I worrying about this? I wouldn't say fag to him again even without the threat…

"Are you coming?" Kurt called from the hallway.

"Yeah." Finn followed him out of the choir room and Kurt looked up at him and smiled.

"I'm glad we talked about this… well, I mean that I talked about this. With you."

"Yeah, me too. It definitely clears up some things." Kurt's smile got bigger and he shook his head and started giggling.

"What? What'd I say? I'm being serious!" Finn scrunched his eyebrows down and frowned.

"You still have those bright red sequins on your face." Kurt said, outright grinning at him.

"I do? Oh crap. I have no idea how to get them off without ripping my skin."

"What did Quinn use to put them on in the first place?"

"I think they just stick on."

"They are designed to go on skin, right?" Kurt looked worried for a minute.

"Yeah, I think so. They came with her eyelashes."

"Here, let me see," Kurt reached his hand up to Finn's face and hesitated for a moment.

"I won't freak out again," Finn said with an eyeroll. "You got through to me. I'm not that dumb."

"I think you might. Close your eyes." Kurt said with a very serious look on his face.

"Why?" Finn almost took a step back, and then held his ground instead. If Kurt said he was over him, Finn would trust him. "Never mind, I trust you." His eyes fluttered shut. Finn felt one of Kurt's hands on his face between his left eyebrow and nose, and then the other by his right. Finn held his breath for a minute and thought about what Brittney said about Kurt's hands. They were super soft. That was weird. Then he felt a really painful sting and heard a sound akin to a bandage being ripped off. "OW! THAT HURT!" he shouted stepping back. There were reflexive tears in his eyes and he stared wide eyed at Kurt who just kind of smiled apologetically at him.

"Sorry. It seemed like the best way to get them off of you. You're mom told me the story about how it took nearly a month and half to lose your first baby tooth because you were afraid it would hurt."

"I was like, four. Of course I thought it would hurt. You could have warned me." Finn pouted and continued down the hall. Kurt walked beside him.

"Sorry. And I don't think you're dumb, by the way. I just kind of said that because I was upset." Kurt said softly.

"Well, I am kind of dumb."

"No Finn, you lack certain capabilities necessary for proper communication. Other than that you're probably a smart guy."

"Huh. I'm not sure what that meant."

Kurt smiled as they walked out in the parking lot. He paused and looked towards his Navigator then started rummaging through his messenger bag for his keys.

"Hey Kurt?"

"Mmm?" Kurt didn't look up.

"Who flirts with you?"

Kurt's ears went pink and he looked up at Finn, keys in hand. "I don't really want to talk about it."

"I mean, I'm just saying if it's unwanted I could go give them a talking to. I mean, if you want. Seeing as we're almost related. I mean brothers look out for each other right?"

Kurt smiled and shook his head. "Finn, you're absolutely right. I've already handled it though."

"Ah, well. If it happens again, let me know, okay?" Finn shuffled awkwardly.

"Okay. Do you need a ride? Since we're going to the same place, that is," Kurt asked shifting his bag a little.

"Yeah, that'd be great. Me and Rachel had another fight today and she was my ride home."

"Well, come on. Oh, and one rule for my car. You cannot touch my music, is that understood?" Kurt said as he walked towards the shiny black vehicle.

"So long as we don't have to listen to Wicked or Lady Gaga."

"Is Beyoncé okay?" Kurt asked, opening his door and unlocking Finn's.

"Deal."

The End. Well, it's kind of a ramble but I thought it turned out okay. Review? Hope you liked it. I also hope the new ending is better. TheWickedKitty you should reread this and tell me what you thought. =)