Interviewer : The War with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is finally over. The clear winner, based on the fact that he is alive rather than dead, is Harry Potter. Mr. Potter along with his friends at Hogwarts finally overcame the hurdle of You-Know-who. Lets talk with him and find out what he went through in those final moments.
Interviewer : So, how do you feel now that the war is over?
Harry (exhausted): I just want a good meal and go to bed.
Interviewer : What about those people who died?
Harry (distracted and looking around): What did you say? Ya, the people who died…ya, many died. I'm sorry for them. But look who else died, Bellatrix and Voldermort!
Interviewer : What do you plan to do when you are rested?
Harry : Do I look like I know anything? I just fought Voldermort and killed him. Give me a break. (Looking around) Where's Ginny?
Interviewer : Can you tell us what really happened?
Harry : The short version is Voldy killed me. Then I met Dumbledore and had a nice chat with him, where he told me that he fancied Riddle and Grindelvald. So, he couldn't kill them. So I had to get up and kill Riddle. I did that.
Interviewer : So Dumbledore is gay?
Harry (sheepishly) : shouldn't have said that…Forget that.
Interviewer : So are you still "the boy who lived" or should we call you "the boy who won't die"?
Harry (rather testily): What's that supposed to mean?
Interviewer : Anyway… What about Ron and Hermione? What will they do?
Harry : (finds them standing in the corner, making out) Both of you…stop doing that here. Get a room. Dumbledore's office is still open.
Interviewer : What would you say about those who are saying that you and Snape shared a moment when he passed away?
Harry : What do you mean? Are you barmy! He…he…he wanted to look at my eyes. That doesn't mean anything…does it?
Interviewer : It might. A lot of people out there were hoping for some reconciliation between you two, and something more too...
Harry (with eyes wide open): What...?! Where's Ginny? Why cant she come soon!
Interviewer : Related to this incident is the one where you rescued Draco Malfoy. You both also shared a moment together, didn't you? Riding on the broom, sitting close together, in heat and sweat...
Harry : My scar is prickling again! Ginny. Bring Ginny!