Josh hands his luggage off to Donna and she takes it, but with a snarky comment about having brought her own luggage too. He gets her message loud and clear. He already knows she wants to go on this trip. He's been hearing about it 24/7 lately.
Of course, he would like for her to come along. One part of him in particular REALLY doesn't want to leave her behind. But he makes it a habit to never let that part of his body make decisions for him at work.
He told Donna he'd try to get her on the trip. But honestly, there's too much to do today. This deal is barely going to squeak through. He doesn't have time to try to finagle a spot for Donna on the plane.
From the moment he walked into the West Wing this morning, he's had an uneasy feeling. There are protesters in Brussels. No one seems to understand what the trade message needs to be. It looks like they might lose some high tech jobs. And they might not have enough votes to even pass the deal because of the labor side agreements.
But Leo is complimenting him like crazy and the President is sending him champagne. And he hasn't been out of the dog house that long. If he can just keep this all from going to hell in a hand basket, he might just be okay.
Back in his office, he looks for the charts on everything they gave tech versus light industry in the trade agreement. He can see that Donna's upset, so he tries to make a joke. She doesn't buy it and gets straight to the point.
"You're leaving in 8 hours. Any progress getting me on the trip?"
He feels a little guilty. He knows there's no room on the plane. He just doesn't want to tell her no outright.
"You don't wanna go to Brussels." He tries to make it sound like it's not glamourous, even goes so far as to compare it to Pittsburgh.
But she's the bulldog now. She just won't let go. Even complaining because he didn't take her to Pittsburgh.
"This isn't tax-payer funded tourism! We've got jobs to do." He snarks, walking past her so he doesn't have to see her face when he says it. But he hears the hurt in her voice when she responds.
"And I'm trying to grow in mine! I've been helping on these trade talks for months. How are you going to manage on your own?"
"I'll grab someone from the advance staff. I'll be fine." He rifles through her desk. "The charts?"
She looks him in the eye and holds up the file. "Grab someone off the advance staff. Maybe they can help you."
Now he does have to look directly at her. She's trying for snark but he can see the hurt on her face. He starts to apologize, but damn it. He doesn't have time for this right now.
"I didn't mean to. . . . I'm busy! Okay?" He starts to walk away and Donna follows behind him. She's still talking at him.
"Maybe if you shackled me to my desk, it'd speed up my typing."
"This isn't a workers' collective. Don't get all Woodie Guthrie on me. I've got a situation here."
It's clear to him that she doesn't understand that this whole thing could blow up any minute now. They could end up in Brussels with nothing to announce except that Congress won't pass the legislation and that their base has turned against them.
Still when she calls him an oppressor he tries to defuse her with humor.
"That's Latin for "boss".
"I'm still not talking to you."
Given how she's being, that's actually the best news he's heard all day. "Fine."
They both walk together until they finally stop, look at each other, and then walk away. He's sure she'll get over it. She always does.
Josh goes to his meeting with JCN, where the loss of jobs to India is confirmed. The headache starts exploding behind his eyes. He's got a union problem, and he's going to have a congress problem. This deal is about to combust.
He's got to talk to Leo about this. He walks into his office and closes the door gently behind him. He apologizes to Leo for letting him down, but Leo blows him off.
"I sent you to close a deal. No one does it better."
Josh is surprised Leo is taking this so well. A few months ago, he'd have taken his head off. Something isn't adding up here.
He ends up back in his office, trying to figure out how to make all of this right when Ryan pops in. Man that kid has horrible timing. He already said he wasn't going to the stupid party. He didn't want an intern, didn't know what to do with an intern, and on top of that the intern embarassed him in the oval. He'll just be glad when Ryan is gone.
Where's Donna? He needs her to help him figure out how to fix this. He walks out to her cubicle to look for her.
But when Donna walks in she has Ryan relay messages. Still making her point that she's still not talking to him. He cuts her off, raising his voice. He's had enough. Finally, he glares at her and as he walks away, he suggests that where ever Ryan is going, she can go too.
He misses the hurt look on her face, but still, as soon as he's away from her, he regrets what he said. He doesn't want Donna to leave. He needs her, but he needs her talking to him, and helping him. He needs their banter to be light hearted and fun. He needs it to energize him, or soothe him, not guilt him or stress him out.
He circles back to his office to deal with Bill Parson and the labor unions. He's trying to keep his cool. He doesn't disagree with them but this is beyond his control. He's just trying to keep this from completely blowing up in his face.
Will stops by to glean political information. Josh doesn't really want to talk to him, but it's nice to be talking to someone who isn't mad at him or blowing smoke up his ass. He ends up admitting to Will that he's not really a free-trader himself.
When Donna finally comes back to her cubicle, he tries again.
"This no-talking thing isn't working for me." He offers in what he hopes is a consolatory tone. Her face softens, and she responds.
"You have a 3:00. I need to brief you, and they won't leave your office."
"I know."
"I tried to move them. Do you want me to call Secret Service?"
"No."
Donna tries again to get Josh to understand where she's coming from. "I just want to grow in my job, do something meaningful, do more than earn a paycheck until I die."
"Why are you saying that?" He still doesn't understand. She has been growing in her job. She helped with budget negotiations. She helped on this trade deal. She's been contributing substantially for a while now.
As they start walking down the hall, she continues.
"I only have one career, and I want it to matter, or I might as well be a soda jerk. That's why I wanted..."
He cuts her off. "Let's go back to not talking for awhile." He needed her to brief him. He really doesn't have time for her insecurity about her job. Both their jobs may be on the line if this blows up.
Ryan interupts him again. Great. Just what he needs! He tries to get rid of him only to discover Ryan is McKenna's new legislative director. Damn. This kid lulled him into a false sense of security. It's a good thing McKenna only wants a seat on the plane. Frankly, it's all he has to give.
From there he goes to his meeting with Haffely. Discovering that Haffley has no issues and that the Republican party think he did a great job worries him. Then learning that both Haffley and the White House knew about JCN moving jobs to India makes it all click. He goes straight to Leo's office. He hates confronting Leo. And Leo isn't at all sympathetic that he's making Josh break campaign promises.
Just when he's convinced that no one likes him today, he runs into CJ. He finds himself talking about spending his whole life trying getting into the room so that he could make a difference, and all of a sudden he realizes maybe he does get where Donna's coming from.
There is no way he can get her on the Brussels trip. But maybe he can do something to show her that her career is important too.
Talking to the President doesn't resolve all his concerns, but at least he's reminded that this President does his best, and really does care about people.
The look on Donna's face when he hands over her passport helps ease his headache a little. At least he fixed one thing today. But he's stoic as he tells her about the CODEL. He wants her to see he didn't do this as a favor for her, this is a work thing. It's a job.
Still he's optimistic that he's leaving her behind on a good note.
Once he gets to the airport, Leo grabs him. Since Josh is not going to be on Air Force One, he's excused from the trip. Leo stresses that this isn't a punishment. Josh did a great job for the administration. But Leo knows his heart isn't in this deal anymore. Josh can distance himself a bit from it if he wants to. Maybe he can try to regain some neutrality that might be beneficial for Josh's political future. After all, the next guy he works for might not be a free-trader.
Josh looks into Leo's eyes. He sees the truth of what he's being told and sighs in relief. His part of this job is over. He really does just want to go home.
When he walks in the door of his apartment, he hears noises coming from his bathroom. He walks silently through the house, stripping off his jacket. He drops it on the end of the bed, next to the pile of neatly folded clothes.
He leans against the door jam and loosens his tie, quietly observing Donna for a few minutes. She's in the tub. It's filled with bubbles.
"Still not talking to me?" He asks
She startles at the sound of his voice. Obviously she wasn't expecting him, but he's surprised she didn't hear him come in. Either she was deep in thought or he was quieter than usual.
"Do you want to talk?"
"I can think of something else I'd rather do."
Donna gives him a sad smile. "Get in. But we do need to talk."
Josh leaves the bathroom, and quickly takes off his pants, throwing them on the bed next to the jacket. The shirt and tie quickly follow. He drops his socks and undershirt into the hamper.
Back in the bathroom, he drops his boxers on the floor and climbs in facing Donna. Now that he's close enough to really look at her, he can see her eyes are red rimmed.
"Have you been crying?"
She never cries in front of him, but sometimes, when he pays enough attention, he sees the evidence of the pain he's caused her. He hates himself for it, but he really doesn't know how to fix it.
She shrugs in the way that he hates. He never quite knows how to interpret that, does it mean it doesn't matter, does it mean she doesn't care? It usually has a feeling of hopelessness to it.
"I hate it when we fight." She finally says, softly.
The truth is so does he. He just wants things to be easy. For her to understand his moods, for her to assist him at work, for her to be okay answering his phones and just doing office work one day, but ready to contribute substantively the next, and generally just being his inspiration and muse whenever he needs her.
Truth is he's a terrible mentor!
Looking across at Donna, he can see the uncertainty in her eyes, and the tightness around her mouth, and in that moment he knows that if he does nothing, he'll lose her. He'll lose her from his office and he'll lose her from his bed. He doesn't want either to happen, but he knows that there's only one of those he can't live without.
She once accused him of bumping into a girl sideways and then waiting for her to break up with him. And she's right. That's is what he's always done. But Donna is the one that bumped into him. And for the first time ever, he doesn't want to just wait for her to break up with him.
He finds her hand under the water, and slips his fingers between hers. This time he's going to hold on.
"Let's talk."