I Wish It Was Christmas
Disclaimer: I don't own any material contained within this story. All copyrighted content remains the property of the person, people, or organization that holds the copyright. This story is solely for fun.
AN: Written as a Christmas present for Lila (AKA Lion in the Land). This story takes place sometime durring the second season of the show. Lyrics from Julia Casablancas' "I Wish it Was Christmas Today".
Leroy was finishing up a warm bowl of turkey soup, just the thing to hit the spot on a cold, winter's night like this. He looked up and almost smiled at the colorful string of lights strung at the top of the wall behind the counter.
"Wow, that went fast," Granny exclaimed. "You want another bowl?"
"Nah, wouldn't want to ruin this magnificent physique," Leroy replied sardonically. "But thanks, Granny. The coffee ready?"
"Yup, seven extra large. Should keep you boys warm for a while. Now you guys be careful in the storm."
"Bah, no worries. Next to mining, shoveling snow is a breeze... even if it is during a blizzard." As the words flew out of Leroy's mouth, he briefly wondered why it seemed that the dwarfs always got stuck with the grunt work. He took a twenty out of his wallet and laid it on the counter in-front of his bowl then grabbed the two cardboard trays of styrofoam encased coffee and headed for the door.
"Happy Solstice," Granny called out, and Leroy hesitated for a second.
He frowned a little on the inside, and then offered back a half hearted, "You too."
The dwarf wasn't sure why the phrase bothered him. Logically, it shouldn't. After all, he'd been celebrating the Winter Solstice for years before coming to this new world, and he'd always enjoyed it. Nearly everyone did. And it wasn't like the cosmetics differed greatly from those of the Christmases he'd spent under the curse. They still had the decorations lights, the feasting, even the tree - which was actually a hold-over from the Yule festival of the old country, rather than anything directly tied to the Christian celebration of Christmas. Granted there was no longer any Santa stuff, but that'd been mainly for the kids anyway. So, Leroy was left with no logical reason why it bothered him so that the town had returned to its pre-curse roots regarding its winter festivities, but for some reason he always felt a little sad when one of the town's other inhabitants would offer him a 'Happy Solstice' instead of a 'Merry Christmas'.
Leroy sighed in relief as he lowered himself into his easy chair early the next morning. It had been a long night of back breaking work. Expecting seven people to shovel out the whole town - or at least every part of the town inaccessible to snow plows - was ridiculous. It still beat the mines of course. At least a falling snow bank wouldn't kill the person it caved-in on. And the cold weather helped to counter balance the hard work and keep the dwarfs from getting too hot or too cold. But it was still a job and a half for just seven workers. And Leroy wondered, not for the first time, why they couldn't use some of that highly vaunted magic to help with the manual labor every once in awhile.
The dwarf sipped from the mug of his 'special eggnog' then picked up the remote to his old stereo and turned it on. He closed his eyes and sunk a little deeper into his chair.
I don't care what the neighbors say,
Christmas time is near,
I don't care what anyone says,
Christmas is full of cheer.
All I know is that Santa's sleigh
Is makin' it's way to the U.S.A.
I wish it was Christmas today.
"Yeah, you tell them, Jules," Leroy agreed and then began to sing along with the music. "I wish it was Christmas today. I wish it was Christmas today, oh, oh. I wish it was Christmas today. I wish it was Christmas today, oh, oh."
Suddenly, the dwarf's 'oh-oh-ing' was interrupted by subtle whirring sound which grew and grew until a strange blue box began to materialize right inside the dwarf's living room. Leroy's head snapped to stare for a split second at the strange box that had mysteriously invaded his home. He briefly wondered if he'd made the eggnog a little too strong this year. Then he leapt behind his chair as a door on the side of the box opened and a couple of oddly dressed strangers stepped out.
"'Ello, 'ello, ello. What's this? This isn't Hotel Transylvania," a tall man in short skirt and a tight top asked as he pulled a glowing rod from his pocket and whipped it widely about the room. "Something's wrong... very wrong. We shouldn't be here. ... In fact none of this should be here. This should be all woods. And how'd we end up in Maine, America? We're not even on the right continent!"
"How does this stuff keep surprising you?" the cross-dressed man's companion asked her eyes sparkling mischievously beneath her black witch's hat. "That box almost never goes where it's suppose to."
All I know is that Santa Claus
Don't care about breaking or applying laws
I wish it was, I wish it was,
Wish it was, wish it was, oh
"Hey," Leroy finally piped in having somewhat recovered from the initial shock of the strange blue box appearing in his living room. "What's going on here?"
The man in the tight top with giant, bulging, fake boobs pointed the glowing green device at Leroy and then exclaimed, "It's a dwarf!"
"Um, Doctor, that's not really politically correct. They prefer to be called little people."
"What? No. A member of the dwarf race - like in Lord of the Ring, The Hobbit, and Snow White. What are you doing here? There aren't suppose to be any dwarfs on Earth... well, not at this time... well, not in this dimension anyway. Oh, something is definitely up with this place."
I don't care about anything else
Christmas is almost here.
And I don't care what the news man said
Christmas is full of cheer.
"You're one to talk about being where you're not supposed to be. Barging into people's houses, disrupting their Christmases... and what's with the freaky police stripper costume."
"Stripper costume?" the Doctor repeated, sounding insulted. "This is an genuine, Seras Victoria cosplay outfit."
"Cos-what?"
"Cosplay, a costume based on the outfit of a fictional character that one wears to parties and events."
"Well, it looks like you're wearing a stripper skirt," the dwarf insisted.
"I... I am not. It's a cosplay. Cosplay is cool. And we were on our way to a Halloween party at Hotel Transylvania, until your living room jumped into our path."
"We're taking a mini-vacation and doing a tour of each of the major holidays," the girl piped in.
"Quite so. And where better to spend All Hollow's Eve than at a resort built buy and for real life monsters?" The Doctor added.
"What? My living room didn't 'jump' anywhere. It's a house. It stays put. Which is more than I can say for your big, blue box." Leroy sighed. "As if the Christmas wasn't a big enough mess already."
"Oh, really, doesn't move, huh? Well, your living room is built on top of a world that's constantly spinning, orbiting a sun, that's orbiting a galactic center, swinging wildly through a universe of space and time. It's only 'stationary' to other objects following the exact same trajectory and speed. I other words, it's all relative, and your living room is relatively whipping around the universe at 2.7 million MPH," The Doctor retorted.
The girl who seemed the more apathetic of the pair caught the glum in the dwarf's tone. "Not having a very good Christmas, I take it?"
"With a big blue box randomly appearing in my living room and dumping out a bunch of strangers? No, not really."
"I meant before that," the girl in the witch custom, replied kindly.
I don't care about anything
Except hearing those sleigh bells a'ring-a-ding, ding
I wish it was Christmas today
In the good old U.S. of A.
"No, not really," the dwarf repeated, this time with a calmer, sadder, and less sardonic tone.
"What's wrong?"
"It's just... no one around here celebrates Christmas anymore."
"It looks like you do."
"Yeah, but only if I decide to spend it all alone."
"Well, you're not alone now," the girl responded, her words seeming to light the dwarf's face with a new realization.
"You mean... you guys want to celebrate Christmas with me?" Leroy asked, his perspective on the blue box invasion suddenly shifting.
The girl stared at the Doctor expectantly.
I wish it was Christmas today
I wish it was Christmas today, oh, oh
I wish it was Christmas today
I wish it was Christmas today, oh, oh
He smiled. "Well, there's definitely something weird going on here, something that certainly warrants investigation. Buuuuut, I guess it wouldn't hurt to leave that off until tomorrow. I'll pop a goose in the oven!" the Doctor exclaimed excitedly as he headed back inside of his blue box.
"He's got an oven in there?" Leroy asked the girl.
"It's, uh, bigger than it looks," she replied and then followed her doctor in. "Thanks," she greeted him.
"For what," the Doctor asked.
"Keeping him from having to spend Christmas by himself. I know how much you wanted to see the monster's hotel again."
"Bah, what's the point in having a time machine if you can't swap your holidays around every now and then. Besides, Transylvania will still be there after we solve the mystery of why this town is here," he replied with a little wink.
All those boys and girls
In every nook and cranny of this crazy ass world
I want it, I want it,
I want it, I want it