It's just a thing guys, not like an obsession or anything
It's been a few thousand years and somehow Marshall Lee remembers every time he ever breathed when he was human and the first moment he didn't need to breathe. There's a scar on his temple and it still hurt sometimes, but he can barely feel it.
She was an itch he couldn't reach and one day he got tired of it and rubbed against a tree. Her blood on his hands was all he ever needed. It started out simple enough, going back and forth in their game and he knew he'd always win even when blood was running down his throat and she was holding his chin in her hand, laughing at him on his knees, begging her for to just fucking end it.
It's her fault he doesn't have a soul or fucking feelings, so he felt nothing but sick elation at the ax slamming through her body, nearly tearing her in half and she whispers those three words that she's been telling him for about seventy years now and he never had and never will say them back.
The life is draining from her and her eyes glitter as they're sapping of some sort of life force she never deserved. He remembers their road to depravity and all he wanted was lust, that's it and the blood of more than a hundred vampire citizens are on his hands, what's one mere queen?
He kicks her body out into the sun, off the balcony, with all those people watching and all of them cheer except for a mere few he'll take care of later when they attempt assassination.
Too bad those who cheer don't know that he'll become malicious dictator with a Hitler complex, only he doesn't want blue eyes, he wants no one. He wants a deserted kingdom, broken, bloodied bodies, dead, lifeless, he wants no one.
The green fog that started this whole mess is back over the mountains and Marshall groans because the first Mushroom War sucked ass and he was only thirteen, talk about teenage angst.
Hey Ma, thanks for abandoning me and Dad, 'cause he's probably dead and now you rule over Hell or have you always done that?
Anyways, it's all good, because there's an eight-year-old girl with a familiar teddy-bear and she's always talking about some guy named Simon and he'll keep her for a long time, it's pretty rare nowadays to find demon blood and pretty things.
Now that's he's gotten little Miss Misfit and her little sidekick Hambo, there's a reason to live.
She grows up and he tells her more about the war, scary shit that stuff is.
He'll tell her eternal life sucks shit and he would've really liked to die. Of course, he doesn't tell her the second part.
Marceline is fifteen now and her Dad comes for her and fuck, he's the king of Hell, where's his Mom, holy shit.
She comes back a couple years later with a guitar and some sheets of paper with melodies and notes and lyrics about fries. Marshall Lee takes her out for more.
Suddenly, he's crashing and his jeans are ripped and knees are scraped from falling for her. Her eyes are pretty brown, like russet and the half-demon in her keeps her the same age for like six years and she begs for him to change her.
He'll warn her about being stuck at seventeen forever because being stuck at nineteen forever sucks just as bad, but she's getting older, seventeen and a half and he does it and he knows what agony it is, but he'll have the rest of eternity to make it up to her.
"Hi," She'll say when she wakes up and her eyes are gorgeous, a crimson color he'll remember forever. The scar on his temple hurts a bit more now and the gun he'd made it with will never have to be attempted to be used again now that he's got this fine woman in his bathtub, looking adorable while trying to eat a rubber ducky and eyeing his flesh with sudden interest.
Her hips are still fragile in his hands and it's good to hear her sighs.
He doesn't know much about divorce or why they did it, but it physically hurts to be alive right now. A few several hundred years and suddenly, they're falling apart and he's been alive a millennium and a half now.
Marshall Lee remembers every time he ever breathed when he was human and the first moment he didn't need to breathe.
He'd never thought karma would catch up and be all like, "Okay, you killed your first wife, time to lose your second one."
The last time he saw her was a Meeting of Grand Royalty and she smells like some other guy and a bruises stain her cheek purple and yellow.
He suddenly wished he didn't have super hearing or smelling or seeing because she's all the way across the room and he knows she doesn't think he can hear him screaming at her over the phone while everyone else is getting food and he knows, some wizard is going to die someday.
She's just a water nymph and really, that's nothing, so why does he pay attention to her? Her name is Simone, he heard and she's pretty, too pretty and he'll sit in the sky, looking up at the moon and sometimes, he'll look down and see those azure eyes full of hope and love and she'll look away, hair a waterfall over her shoulders and he liked that until the cat came along.
That cat was protective. Marshall Lee couldn't flirt, let alone speak with Simone if that cat was there. It was the cat's fault.
Simone was melting and the cat was scared. Marshall saw the blackened ruby enter Simone, sink into her watery body and he left when there was no hope of returning.
She was more sophisticated. A big blue dress that showed off her skinny waist and large chest and was like silk whenever she moved added to it. Her was long, thick, heavy and white, pure white. Her lashes were long and dark, lips glossy and blue, personality so unlike her old one. Voice sultry and sharp, instead of sweet and teenage.
All she ever wants to do is chase men around. She doesn't remember she used to be in love with him. A few hundred years later, her face is still the same and the tiara she wears is age-defying, keeping her young and beautiful and there's no need for a Lana Del Ray song, because he'll love her anyways, she's a good friend. Like that one time when she went sober and she was Simone again, not Ice Queen and told him getting back together with Ashley was a bad idea.
She makes stories now and it only started out with a male version her and a female version of Marshall Lee. But then, a prince is born nearby and she adds him in as a budding princess. His name is Bubba Gumball, a ridiculous name Marshall Lee happens to think, sort of like that snotty, smart pink girl he saw at the Meeting of Grand Royalty all those years ago, the one who must be a mad scientist, she'd old.
A few years pass, Gumball and Marshall Lee are friends and Ice Queen is slowly but surely making him a beautiful genius monarch in her fanfiction of life.
Then, the cat returns. This time, with a young girl, maybe eleven, twelve years old, chubby, short as Hell, really likes the color blue for some reason and has even scrapes and stories to be considered a voyager. He lets them move into his treehouse and he faintly remembers the M and ML carved somewhere in that house, eh, who cares.
His Mom once tried to suck all the souls out of everyone. Fionna apologized like three times, but hey, watcha gonna do when you wanna reunite a rocker vampire with his strict-ass demon Mother?
It's a good thing he's got a killer smile and charm, otherwise he couldn't have been able to get out of that mess.
It's too bad he's stuck in a jam and charms won't get him out of having to speak to his ex-wife at the vampire council.
TO BE CONTINUED...
PROABABLY NEVER...
Yeah, there are probably a lot of mistakes in this; I wrote this in like thirty minutes while watching some old A.T. episodes. I think the ones before 2013 were the awesome ones. Like, after Finn met Flame Princess and Rebecca Sugar left, everything started going downhill.