Title: More than my life

Author: Willow (and she knows about this translation!)

Translator: DiamondOfOcean

Beta: DomTheKnight. Thank you so much! °cuddle°

Pairing: Draco Malfoy/ Harry Potter

Genre: Drama

Rating: T

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of Joanne Kathleen Rowling. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

Summary: Harry and Draco had had so many plans for their future, but the Final War changed everything... one-shot!

About: This one-shot is my absolute favourite and, btw, it was devoted to meee °smile° Before reading, prepare a handkerchief! ;-) Well, at least I was crying, lol.

° More than my life °

The air must be salty.

It always is.

It whips against my forehead and whirls around my coat and my hair. The air of the sea has always been the reason why I like this place so much. It smells like freedom and dreams. And above all, it reminds me of Harry.

It is high tide right now and the big waves break on the cliffs sparkling black and wet in the moonlight. When I look directly down the precipice I recognize that the water on the cliffs is foamed and brighter than usual. I know the water must be cold as ice now like the wind which drags on me, but I do not feel it and I would not even feel the cold water if I jumped into it.

I close my eyes to assimilate each sound deep inside me and the memories overwhelm me. We had sat here on so many summer nights. Our naked feet had dug in the grass and the wind played with the upper part of our bodies. We sat together closely and told our dreams to each other while the ocean rushed in the background. We almost accomplished all our goals.

I turn around and look back sadly at the small hill where only one house is visible. It is just a small and humble house, but it is all what we ever wanted. We wanted to be left in peace, so we bought this piece of land on the coast und hoped to find our peace, far removed from all the chattering people and their superficial priorities. But how to find peace in a world of war which always finds you?

It was Harry's destiny to confront the Dark Lord. Sometime I understood. He was obsessed by the thought of taking revenge for all his heinous acts. And sometime I also understood we could only rest and wait for our future, when the prophecy was fulfilled and Harry was free of his burden. With a heavy heart I accepted the invitation to come with him, to go back to the front.

I sigh and go up the hill, slowly. The white walls shine in the moonlight. The window in the top story is wide open. I know it is the window of the bedroom. There you have a wonderful view of the sea. The curtains are whirling out of the room and dancing in the wind. I wonder if he stands behind it and looks in my direction.

Before I can react I am standing in front of our entrance door. It is not locked and with the next gust of wind it swings open. Harry does not waste any thoughts on burglars. But who should the defeater of Voldemort be afraid of?

In the house everything looks just like it had three months ago, when I was here for the last time. On the table there is still the rest of the supper. Harry always clears away later. But I was never angry with him. Harry is pure chaos, just like his hair. On the table I can see two covers. On one plate there is some food, seems like no one has touched it. The other plate is clean. Had he expected a visitor?

Slowly I go up the wooden stairs which lead directly to the top story. They end in the middle of our big bedroom. The last step does not creak when I step on it. That is what it had always done in the past.

And then I see him.

He stands in front of the opened window and looks in the direction of the sea. His shoulders are slumped and he has wrapped his arms around himself. He looks lost and wakes the urge in me to storm to him and to pull him into a strong embrace.

But I cannot.

Harry Potter, the hero and saviour of all wizards and witches, Golden Boy of Gryffindor, the Boy Who Lives. All these names give him three cheers, make a hero of him, but not who he wants to be. And he is so much more than only that. Because Harry Potter was also my lover, the man who was always there for me. The one whom I trusted blindly and who I loved more than my life.

While observing him I realize the sad expression in his eyes looking at the ocean and some unwelcome memories arise which surround my thinking like an iron fist.

°°°°

Flashback

It was morning the 28th of July when we woke up urgently. We had only lived in our house for five months, but the safety spells were already activated. Only a few people could break through the spell – and those were Ron, Hermione, and Severus.

It took a long time to convince Harry about trusting Severus. And it was difficult to explain the reasons why he had to murder Dumbledore earlier. He had had no choice. But he managed to convince him, because he trusted me.

In this morning, the voice of Severus Snape, the representative headmaster, woke us. The school had been attacked in the early morning hours and the rumours said Voldemort himself was present at the attack.

Harry did not hesitate and reached for his wand lying on his night-table. I can remember his determined and gloomy facial expression. Rage struck into him he wanted to apparate to the battlefield. I got a bad feeling and worried a lot. Everything happened so fast, things got past me and I just reacted like a machine.

With a portkey that Severus had brought along, we came to the Slytherins' dungeon which had been transformed into a fortress. The youngest pupils were sitting together and their eyes reflected pure panic. The closer we got to the stairs, the older the pupils were, but the smell of cold sweat and panic stayed in the air.

Harry and I followed Severus down the corridors. The gazes of a hundred of pupils clung to us. I felt it like dirt on my skin and glanced at Harry. The expression in his face scared me. He ignored everything around him.

Then we arrived at Severus's office where professor McGonagall tried desperately not to lose her calm and to develop a strategy with the other teachers and prefects. All of them had expected an attack from Voldemort, but not so fast and above all not on the grounds of Hogwarts. There was no time to prepare for the battle. The castle was encircled and waited for help. Until then they tried to defend themselves without endangering the life of the pupils.

The Order was informed through the fireplace, just as the ministry was. Of course they promised to help. The occupants of the castle should start little attacks for distraction, so the aurors could attack from behind and hope to surprise as many Death Eaters as possible.

°

The smell of blood and dark magic was in the air and slid into every pore. The Death Eaters were in the majority and it was a problem to distract them while our side lost more and more wizards. The troops of the Order were not visible until now, but the curses in the Forbidden Forest proved that they were somewhere close. Would they manage to push ahead? Would they manage to withstand?

We fought for hours, my bones weighed a lot and everything was spinning in front of my eyes. I stayed near Harry the entire time and we always had an eye on each other and helped each other when it became dangerous. He was tired, but he was an expert in denial.

It was barely dusk when a rumbling sound echoed. The atmosphere changed suddenly. A crackling sound was in the air that was full of death. Everyone paused when the crowd of Death Eaters parted and the Dark Lord headed for us.

I will never forget the hate I felt for him in that moment. I would have preferred to blow his autocratic mean grin out off his face. My fist hardened around my wand and I took a step closer to Harry. But Harry looked at me and shook his head. He said he had to do it himself, as the prophecy determined.

Prophecies – fantasies of crazy persons who consumed too much frankincense.

Time stopped, but then Voldemort lifted his wand and fired off his first curse. Harry blocked and started an attack himself. The battle between them broke through the paralyzed crowd and the chaos went on. Red, green and blue curses fizzed through the air and I tried my best to keep an eye on my opponent, his curses, and Harry.

The fight dragged on, my breathing hurt terribly, but I did not care. After my opponent broke down, fainted, I turned to Harry. His face was covered with welts and his clothes hung down torn in pieces. It broke my heart to see him like that. But Voldemort seemed to be worn out, too. He could hardly stand and he hissed to fire off his next curse.

Finally I saw a group of aurors with Tonks, hair black today, in the front. The mass of Death Eaters parted again and more and more Order members came closer. Then I also saw Ron and Hermione who fought against two Death Eaters, furiously.

Everything happened so fast, a lightning, a scream, wide-open eyes and then a bitter crying. One of the curses had hit Ron in his back and now he lay on the battlefield unmoving. Hermione bent over him and I saw her shoulders shaking heavily. She had forgotten where she was and she did not care.

Once again I turned to Harry. He looked in my direction and then past me at his friends. He was paralyzed with fear and I realized in slow motion that Voldemort, who had fallen down after Harry's last curse, stood up and pointed at him.

I ran as fast as I could, lifting my wand and aiming at the Dark Lord. Nobody had the right to take away my love. I crashed into Harry, pushed him to the ground and called the Killing Curse. It hit Voldemort's chest directly and I had to grin, before recognizing that I was hit, too, and a prickly pain bore through me.

And then, everything was over. The pain stopped, the bright light around me darkened and a heavy tiredness wrapped in me and embraced me.

End of the Flashback

°°°°

"Draco..."

He whispered my name into the big empty room. I can see his wide-open and searching eyes shimmer in the moonlight. How many tears have been shed in the last months? They are wounded and swollen and I would like to caress his cheek with my hand, to kiss it healthy again and to take away all his sorrow.

I stand next to him at the window and wish he could see into my eyes. His hand is only ten centimetres away from mine, but I know he will never reach for it. I would not feel the gentle pressure, so I bow my head.

His breathing fills the room. In the background I can still hear the waves breaking on the cliffs. And for one moment I can believe we are there where we always wanted to be. That we have made our dream come true. Our own little house at the coast, only you and me at the end of the war.

A quite weeping sound pulls me out of my bittersweet thoughts. Harry has started to cry again and when I look at him, I can see a single tear running over his cheeks which ends in the corner of his mouth; he wipes it away, tired and breathing heavily. His shoulders are quivering. I want to embrace him. It hurts me to see him like that and I cannot stand alone anymore. I lean against him to hug him. I know exactly the way he always smells; the smell has burned into my mind and will never leave me. My arms embrace the upper part of his body and want to squeeze him firmly.

But without the least resistance my hands glide through him and this makes him shiver. He holds his breath for some seconds. But then he turns and his features become more intense. His eyes shift around looking for something.

"Draco?"

It has been a mistake to come here.

Today would be the first and last time to go to see Harry. But although I have known better I had to come here just one time at least. To see how he is doing, if he gets by. But he does not and I cannot do anything. I am so sorry that he is suffering. I am so sorry that I have saved him, but had to leave him nevertheless. I loved Harry more than my life, so I gave it to him.

Again I lean against him and can feel the tingling when my body glides inside him a little bit. I can feel his heart beating and his blood flowing through his veins.

"I will wait for you," I whisper into the silence and I know Harry cannot hear me.

Another tear rolls over his cheek when I let go of him to leave once and for all. We will have eternity and until then we can wait.

The End


°could cry again°

Well, what do you think about this one-shot?

°hug°
Dia