A/N: I was asked to do another chapter of Coincidental Mirror and I really wanted to do a follow up to it. So here's a sequel oneshot to wrap it up. Let me know what you think! Hope you enjoy!
Never in his life would he verbally admit it, but Jason was nervous.
After making a call to Dick he'd agreed to meet with his brother, on very tentative terms. It had to be during the day, in public (he was not so comfortable as to invite him willingly, or while sober or uninjured for that matter, into his place), and as informal as possible. He'd also made sure that they were not meeting as Nightwing and Red Hood, but Dick and Jason. Too much tension was wound up in those identities, and Jason thought that it would benefit them rather than meet as Hero and Enemy.
One week later, as Jason stood outside the restaurant that they'd agreed to meet up at, he was starting to wish he'd never placed the call. With his hands shoved into his leather jacket pockets, his fingers twitched with anxiety. What he really wanted to do was have a quick cigarette to ease his nerves, though lighting up in front of his brother didn't seem like the smartest way to kick off their little reunion of sorts. He settled for taking a deep breath and glancing around the street. Maybe Dick would bail and he could go back to his apartment and wait for night to fall—
"Jason?" He almost jumped at the sound of his name, but managed to keep his cool and turned his head.
It was strange to see Dick without his mask, his blue eyes brightening as they looked at Jason, despite the tired dark circles around them. A hesitant but elated small smile appeared on his face; and though Jason was taller than him he could have sworn that his brother had just gained two inches since he'd last seen him. Maybe it was just the excitement in his gaze causing him to stand straighter. Even still, there was an unsure atmosphere around Dick that didn't help the awkwardness.
"Dick…uh…" Jason blinked, his usual witty greetings fleeing his tongue. He cleared his throat and lamely said, "…hey."
In response Dick took a step forwards, his arms starting to move up from his sides, as if going in for a hug. Then, as if he had thought better, he dropped his arms down and kept the respectable space between them. His voice was slightly astonished and quite relived. "You showed up."
"Well, yeah," Jason said, eyes flickering to the side, "Didn't really have anything better to do than, I don't know, maybe sleep for a few more hours."
His false irritation caused Dick to chuckle, and when quietness started to fall he suggested cheerfully, "Why don't we quit loitering and go inside?"
"Sure," Jason said with a nod, and followed Dick inside. He kept his hands buried in his pockets, looking anywhere than at the older man as they got a table. As they sat down Jason released a breath, sitting across from his brother and trying to shrug off the unease. His hands clenched to stop the fidgeting, and then he removed them from his pockets and glanced over the menu.
When they spoke again it was Dick who tried for conversation. "It's really good to see you, Jay."
"Uh…yeah," Jason said, leaning back in his seat, resting his arms on the table. "But I see you more often than you're acting like I do. It's not like I don't do anything and then just come out of nowhere."
Dick inclined his head slightly, "How have you been doing?"
He shrugged, "Fine. Busy. Plenty of useless bastards to deal with; they like to keep me on my toes. Nothing I can't handle though."
For a minute Dick just stared at him, and Jason wanted to squirm. It wasn't like there was anything in his expression, no anger or annoyance or disappointment. That was just it—there was nothing. A blank face, a glass stare that Jason wanted to shatter just so it would stop boring holes into him; he sunk down a little in his seat, averting his eyes. Dick's hand rested on his arm, and he looked up to see emotion now on the older man's face, a sort of sad compassion mixed with weariness. His voice was quiet enough so that only they could hear it. "I'm not asking how Red Hood is. I'm asking about Jason."
It took him aback, and Jason's eyebrows knit a little in confusion, and then relaxed in surprise. How long had he assumed that Red Hood was Jason through and through? Never did he really consider them anything different; they were one in the same. But maybe Dick was seeing something that he hadn't. Maybe Red Hood and Jason didn't have to be united; they could be separate entities. And as Jason pondered that, he cracked a harsh grin and the words came out of his mouth, "I'm damn tired, Dick."
And suddenly, he felt the impact of exhaustion. Not just physically—the effects of staying up all night thinking about this meeting—but mentally and emotionally as well. He was tired; drained of his will in more ways than one. Ridding Gotham of its scum was really the only reason he kept getting up nowadays; he didn't have much more of a reason. There was not one thing, or one person, that urged him to do something with his life. Even proving himself to those who once knew him was a burned out desire. It just didn't matter anymore.
Dick was looking at him as if he understood it all—and he probably did. If Jason didn't have such tight reins on his emotions (other than his anger) he would have laid his head down on the table and shown defeat. Instead he locked gazes with Dick, who patted his arm and then withdrew his hand, saying, "I'm here."
Normally, Jason would have brushed off the comment. This time he listened and felt grateful, nodding quietly and drawing his arms in, leaning forwards slightly as he crossed them on the table. He barely even noticed himself ordering when the waitress came by. Temptation to ask Dick to buy him a drink lingered in his mind, but he decided against it. There was no way that the Golden Boy was going to sit back and watch him drink underage, though Jason felt like he was much older.
They chatted aimlessly for a while, and though they stayed away from any serous topics, Jason was just glad to finally be able to talk to someone. He'd never realized how much he'd been craving regular human interaction, and it was great to just be able to speak without yelling at the top of his lungs or to be groaning in pain. For a couple hours, he decided, he could pretend to be normal. It would most likely turn out to be a good choice.
Finally, Dick suggested they get going. Jason agreed and reached for the bill, which the other man quickly swiped. "I've got it."
"I called to set this up," Jason persisted, glowering slightly. "Do you think I can't pay or something?"
"Jason," Dick said warningly, his tone final. "Let me get it."
And while truthfully Jason was glad that Dick picked up the bill, he continued to act like he wasn't in favor of it. Dick ignored it and paid, and then the two of them headed outside. Late afternoon was rolling in, and though Jason was planning to part ways Dick asked, "You've got time?"
"Depends," Jason said, "do you have alcohol?"
Dick rolled his eyes and Jason snickered, while his brother gave him a friendly shove. "Just walk."
He did, and they walked side by side, saying nothing. It was a pleasant sort of silence, Jason noted, as if they were both mulling things over. Instead of taking the lead he followed Dick, who at first he assumed was just drifting down the streets with no destination in mind. Then he realized that Dick was in fact leading him towards the park. When was the last time he ever just took a walk for his own enjoyment, to a park of all places? The fact that he couldn't remember was troubling.
They continued walking on, and Jason's gaze wandered around the residents. His eyes travelled and then froze, and he stopped walking. Beside him Dick halted, a questioning look coming onto his face, "What is it?"
Jason didn't answer, his gaze on two boys kicking a ball around in the grass. Declan was laughing, jumping out of the way as Jackson drove his foot forwards as hard as he could, sending the ball flying. A grin of triumph fell over the younger boy's face, and Declan dodged the object and shouted a warning while still laughing. They both looked refreshed and like brand new people, not like they were just living on the dirty streets not too long ago.
"Are you smiling?" Dick said, his voice incredulous.
"What?" Jason asked, looking at him. Wait, he had been smiling. He could feel the pull in his face muscles, as if they were sore from lack of use with the expression. "No I'm not."
"Yeah, right," Dick said, grinning. It was eerily similar to Declan's, and Jason was reminded of why he had been drawn to the child. "Do you know them or something?"
Jason was about to reply, and deny the suggestion, when from his peripheral vision he saw something flying towards him. He quickly ducked, hearing the distinct bouncing noise as the ball hit off the tree behind him and rolled next to his feet. Beside him, Dick was choking down laughter. Jason glared at him and then straightened up, looking over. Declan and Jackson were staring wide eyed, jaws dropped. The corner of Jason's mouth twitched in amusement, and he lightly kicked the ball back to them.
"Sorry!" Declan called, nudging his brother to apologize.
"Watch your face," Jackson said, earning a glare from his sibling.
Dick laughed, and Jason slightly raised an eyebrow in surprise. The sound was foreign to him. Dick said back, "It's alright! You've got a strong kick."
"You want to play?" Declan asked, setting his foot on top of the ball.
Dick glanced at Jason and then started, "Well I don't think—"
"Sure," Jason said, earning a shock stare from his own brother. Ignoring it, he moved forwards, and Dick, after several moments of surprised gawking, followed after on his heels.
They played until the sun was setting, teamed up against one another. Jason couldn't help but chuckle as he watched Declan, who moved around with grace that Jackson just couldn't copy. Jackson on the other hand played with such vigor that both Dick and Jason succumbed to feeling similar. Intense competition followed, and when Jason unintentionally kicked the ball too hard and it hit his brother square in the chest and sent him falling backwards in the grass, Dick only laughed and threatened to get him back.
It was the most innocent activity Jason had participated in since…he didn't even know. Jason Todd did not just play with random children. Then again, these two were different; they'd convinced him to do the opposite in what he was so set against. He'd drawn back as their new parents had called for them, and Jackson had turned to Jason and grinned, "You're awesome."
He would be lying if he said he wasn't touched by the comment. Half of a smile came onto his face and he jabbed his thumb in Dick's direction. "Tell that to him, he can't accept that I'm better."
The lighthearted jesting was strange to him. Usually he meant it when he said he was better than Dick or anyone. Dick rolled his eyes, and Declan grabbed his younger sibling's arm, "Thanks for playing!"
The two older men watched them run off, and Dick said, "Do they seem familiar to you?"
At first Jason thought he was asking if they had seen them before once again. Then he noticed Dick looking at him with a raised eyebrow, scanning over Jason and then glancing back to Jackson. In response Jason shrugged and said, "You tell me, Golden Boy."
Dick's mouth quirked up in a smile, but he said nothing more as if he knew that Jason would deny it.
They mutually decided that it was best for them to head out as the sun descended. They walked out and down the street, Jason thinking about how the day had gone on. For the first time in a terribly long time, he'd actually enjoyed himself, truly had a good day. Taking a glance at Dick, he noticed him smiling to himself. Everything seemed too good to be true, and Jason hoped nothing would spoil it. The further they walked, the more he became lost in his thoughts and didn't even notice that Dick was no longer beside him. When it registered in his mind he turned around, noticing the distance between the two of them and asked with a surprised expression, "You're not going to follow me home?"
Dick smiled sadly and shook his head, "I said I wanted to talk to you. I got what I wanted."
"Oh," Jason said, amazed that Dick was respecting his word. "Right."
"I better head back," Dick said, and though his voice was casual there was a hint of almost sadness in his voice. "Patrol is soon."
Jason could feel the blissful day diminish before his eyes. He knew, of course he knew, that once they parted ways it would no longer be Dick and Jason. The next time they saw each other it would be as Nightwing and Red Hood, each fighting for their own cause; one against the other. It was impossible for him to deny that he was upset by this, but he kept his cool gaze. "Yeah, me too."
Dick looked at him, his eyes friendly but soft with sympathy, "If you ever need something, Jay, you can always come to me."
"I know," Jason said, realizing that now he understood the depth of the words. "But don't worry about me."
His brother half smiled, "Maybe we can do this again sometime."
"Probably not soon," Jason admitted. He paused, and then said, "But maybe one day."
He didn't think that he would need to say anything else. Jason turned away and started walking, eyes looking ahead in the darkness. He could picture his helmet waiting for him, the guns that he had stocked and ready for use. But at the same time, he could see Nightwing swinging through the night, always right behind him, always ready to intervene. And Jason could not bring himself to raise the gun to him now, not ever again. Maybe once he put on the helmet he'd think differently; he wasn't sure if that scared him more. He stopped walking. "Dick?"
Dick turned around and Jason glanced over his shoulder. Their eyes locked, and Jason had no doubt; they were going to fight again, maybe even tonight. It was his personality, his nature, to retaliate. Even if part of him didn't want to, it wasn't going to stop him. That didn't mean he actually wanted to hurt Dick this time. He found himself once more at a loss for words, and finally sighed and told him, "Do me a favor and don't get hurt."
At that, Dick grinned. It was possible, Jason thought, that the man got the implied what meaning but was trying to be lighthearted anyways. "Watch your back too. See you around."
And if he knew that Jason would hesitate yet again, that he would not be able to force himself to leave without pondering what the future now had in store, he did not give his brother a chance to do so. Dick swiftly turned on his heel and bolted, his lean frame disappearing into darkness, footsteps fading into silence. Jason still stood, staring after him. He then understood that it wasn't Red Hood wondering about Dick, it wasn't him that was hesitant about facing off with his brother, hoping that he'd be okay.
That was Jason.
One day, he'd thank Dick for making him realize that. For that night however, Jason walked away into the darkness, with a little spark of ignited inner light to guide him home.