Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist, it is the property of the cruel and sadistic Bruno Heller (as you may have noticed, I'm a little cheesed off at the current state of affairs. The promo pictures for the next episode are not helping).
Author's Note: I've seen some comments from watchers of the show regarding the change in chemistry between characters, and this was just one thing that I noticed that might have something to do with it.
He doesn't touch her anymore.
Jane might think that she hasn't noticed the absence of his hand on her back or his finger on her arm, drawing her eyes to something that he wants her to see.
He might also think that because she hasn't noticed that she doesn't miss it, but he would be wrong.
During her long dry spells, Jane's touches would be the only things that reminded her that she was human. They reminded her that she too was not untouchable, or unworthy of contact with another person.
She had desperately needed that in the two years that he had been gone.
Now he was back, and he didn't touch her.
The hand that used to gravitate to the small of her back was gone. The finger on her arm, or hand, vanished.
She thinks that his sudden aversion to touching her may be part of the reason that she fell into a relationship with Marcus. Jane had pulled away from her, and she, desperate for the contact that she had been missing for two long years, turned towards the available source: Marcus.
Marcus, who never stinted with his gestures, who was open and forthright in his affections, touched her. Made her feel human and alive and all those other things that she thought she might never get to have again because Jane had left her in the middle of a confrontation with the FBI to go kill the man that had killed his family.
He left her first; he always left her first. It was a role reversal that she had not expected when Jane had come onto her team, but maybe it was poetic justice. She, the one who always left, was left behind.
But, as nice as being touched with affection (and concern and passion and curiosity and so many other feelings) was, she missed Jane's touches. He used to touch her in a way that was so unassuming; he touched her because he wanted to touch her, because he wanted to make contact, reach out and make a connection.
Maybe that was the real issue: Jane had disconnected himself from her, taken himself away from her physically. He could be a thousand miles away from her while they were in the same room. It hurt to have him so close, and yet, at the same time he would be so far away.
Jane said he wanted her happiness, but for the last decade, his touches had been intrinsic to her happiness. It could be that Jane wasn't as concerned with her happiness as he professed, if he couldn't even recognize the fact that she was adrift without his hand anchoring her to reality.
In light of all that, moving to D.C. with Marcus might be just the thing, might provide the right kind impetus to move forward with her life. Her life without Jane. A life without Jane's hands, and Jane's hands on her body. If she left, her chances of ever knowing the touch of Jane's hand on her back or her face would be nil…but if she stayed…
If she stayed, she might have to see Jane move on without her. He'd been much more open since his return, and he'd even gone on a date (he'd been playing a con, but still, a date was a date). Maybe Jane had moved forward already, and she was just stuck in the past, waiting for Jane to join her. But, the past had never held anything but pain for him, so why would he bother?
This isn't something that she'll figure out in a single night of tossing and turning in her bed, but she can feel the stranglehold of a future with Marcus closing in on her.
If only Jane would touch her. She'd know for sure if he did. But he hasn't, and she's starting to think that he never will.