A/N: Hi, it's me, lelaofbast, and I'm writing with my sister, trollseatfish.

LOB: Aren't you glad we stopped fighting and put the energy into something more important?
TEF: Like bandaging my swollen tongue?
LOB: What happened anyways?
TEF: Ever licked a spark plug?
LOB: Not a pleasant experience, huh?
TEF: You don't think our readers are reading this, do you?
LOB: I sure hope not. I mean... Look what you did, you cotton-headed-ninny-muggins! You scared off all the readers!
TEF: (The blank look returning to her face) I like grapes...
LOB: Oh boy. You know, that's a pathetic excuse for a Yamani mask. I guess I'll have to do EVERYTHING... Just like at home. I'll do the chores while you sit on the couch and pick your nose.
TEF: We don't have a couch.
LOB: So you do pick your nose?
TEF: Um... NO!
LOB: Okay, the insanity's gone on long enough. Would you like to do the disclaimer or finish the author's note?
TOF: What author's note?
LOB: THE ONE WE'RE WRITING RIGHT NOW!
TOF: Oh. I'll do the disco-thingamajiger.
LOB: Sorry to all of you who have suffered thorough that. (It's painful, huh?) Try living with her. (trollseatfish starts to cry) It's okay, we love you.

This is our first story together. It would be really great if you'd read and review. Unless my sister really has scared you off...

Disclaimer: (By trollseatfish): Yay, I get to do something! (dressed in pink leisure suit and fluffy bunny slippers. Turns on CD player and starts blaring "Boogie Wonderland." TEF dances across the room) What am I supposed to say now? (LOB: hits head on desk repeatedly I said DISCLAIMER, not DISCO. Just tell the nice people that we don't own any of Tamora Pierce's characters and settings.) But we do own a cat, actually, 5 of them. And a dog, and a fish... (LOB: THAT's ENOUGH!) Hey, do you know that Lela and I don't actually own any of Tamora Pierce's characters and settings? (LOB: That's it. Start running. I'll give you a head start. 5..., 4... (smiles sweetly at readers) Thank you for putting up with us. Our next chapter will be up soon, and hopefully we can get through it with a shorter AN. Oh- and don't hold my sister against me. i'm not normally so hyper. I don't want to lose my reputation as a sane author. It's all her... Toodles for now. 3, 2, 1! (TEF in distance:Lela, what's an author's note?)

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No Place Like Home
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Chapter One
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Midwinter
in the 22nd year of the reign
of
Jonathan IV and Thayet, his Queen
461
Corus
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"And then the woman touched the gate. The ghost, mistaking her for his arch-enemy, the Lioness, reclaimed his sword and cut off her head!" Iden finished his story in an eerie voice.

"Please," Neal said, rolling his eyes. "We all know that was murder, not a ghost." They were referring to a homicide that had happened while they were up north, fighting Scanrans. The war was now over, New Hope had been dismantled, the refugees sent to their various new homes.

The murder happened in the catacombs of the palace. A redheaded servant girl had been found deep below the palace, beheaded. The man responsible had been arrested and executed, but court gossip was still saying that it was the ghost of Sir Roger.

"Others have seen him," Merric protested. "They say that he guards the Gate of Idramm, waiting for Lady Alanna's return."

"I don't believe in ghosts," Kel said flatly. "Besides, even if he was there, the Lioness would still prevail."

"If you don't believe that he's down there, prove it, both of you," Merric said tauntingly. "Tomorrow is the anniversary of Duke Roger's death. Spend the night down there."

"We'll do it," Neal said, before Kel could protest. He stood and shook Merric's hand, sealing the dare. Kel couldn't back down now. She stood and offered her hand to Iden.

Tobe slunk away to the stables, knowing that as soon as the other knights left, Kel would have a few choice words for Neal. He was well acquainted with Kel's austerity, didn't care to be lectured when it wasn't necessary.

…..

Numair and Daine had taken their young daughter, Sarra, out for an evening stroll. They were near the menagerie, because the baby was delighted to have animals so close.

Suddenly, a large reptilian body appeared around the corner of a low stone wall. It had silvery claws, and slitted eyes, which it trained on them. Cold crept in, making Daine shiver. She remembered her first run-in with a coldfang.

The immortal looked towards Numair and Daine, and suddenly, turned towards Sarra. Setting her in his gaze, he strode towards the baby. Daine silently tried to will the big lizard to stop, clutching her daughter and running.

"It's not working Numair!" she yelled.

Thecoldfang grew closer to his child, Numair tried in vain to stop it. Black fire shot from his finger tips, but his Gift had no effect on the immortal. Left with no other choice, Numair searched his brain for one of the magic words of power.

"Yelsrap!" The air screamed, and the coldfang vanished in a puff of smoke, in its place, only a potted azalea bush was left.

"Numair?" Daine asked, putting a hand on his shoulder. He knew she was questioning his use of a word of power. Suddenly a loud rumbling was heard from beneath the palace.

"What have I done?" Numair asked himself, running towards the castle.

…..

At dusk, Neal and Kel made their way down to the lowest level of the palace. It was the sight of Lady Alanna's last battle with her nemesis, Roger. Tobe followed Kel, and Owen tagged along because- Wait. Why did he go along? He wasn't dared to go down there.

Well I guess he went because he's Owen.

Anyways, Kel had seated herself on a bench to wait out the night. She was thoroughly convinced that it would be uneventful. Tobe sat at her feet. He smiled up at her. Tobe had told Kel earlier that he didn't think there was any ghost, but if there was, he wanted to see it.

Neal started to tell a story about a princess in Carthak, who had come to a ball in slippers made of breath-thin glass.

"Did she get glass shards in her toes?" Tobe asked. Suddenly, the ground started to shake, and a low rumble passed through the palace. Light flickered from the blackened Gate of Idramm, bright as lightning.

Running towards the exit, they all screamed and hunched over as pain gripped them. Just as suddenly, it let go, and the four friends slipped into blackness.

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Kel sat up, her ears ringing. Since when did knights get such bad headaches? You would think after all they had been through as a page and squire would make them laugh at the word 'headache' as a knight.

Kel looked around. Where was she? It was dark and only a small bright sign lit up the area. Parchment with small writing littered the street and large metal barrels with lids were lined up against the stone walls. From inside came a rotten smell. Kel, brave as she was, had to leave. Where were Owen, Neal, and Tobe? More importantly, what happened?

All the Yamani training in the world couldn't keep the frown from Kel's face. She got up slowly, holding her head. She had to find Tobe. She had promised she'd never leave him.

Kel turned towards the bright, flickering light and tried to focus to read it. She couldn't. Moving closer to get a better look, Kel tripped over a large lump on the ground that she hadn't seen. From beside her came a familiar-sounding groan.

"Neal?" There came an affirmative groan. "Neal, you meathead! I could have broken my neck!"

"That's Sir Meathead to you," He said sitting up. "Where are the others? Where are we?"

"I don't know to both questions," Kel answered. "But I do know we can't stay here."

As if in answer, a door creaked opened, and out filed eight stooping men. They walked with a swagger.

"Well what's this?" their leader asked. "A couple of would-be actors lost their way?"

"Kel, they're drunk," Neal whispered.

"Thank you, Sir Meathead," Kel said. To the men she said, "Let us pass."

"Why should we? You're on our turf now, and we don't much like people invading our turf. Get em'!"

The eight men pulled out daggers and ran at Neal and Kel.

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Owen groaned and grabbed his head to stop the spinning. When the dizziness subsided, he looked around. He was in a large, dark room that looked to be a classroom of some kind. Large gray boxes were set up on rows of desks. Owen tried to stand, but his legs gave out. Gripping the rim of a large blackboard, Owen lowered himself carefully to the floor. Tobe was lying beside him.

"Kel?" he asked, stirring.

"Are you okay?" Owen asked, rubbing his numb knee.

"Where's Kel?" Tobe asked, worry passing across his face.

"I don't know," Owen replied. "I don't even know where we are."

"Well let's go find her," Tobe said. He stood and went over to a window, as Owen dusted the chalk dust off of his hands. His eyes grew wide and he turned slowly back to the knight. "Owen, I don't think we're in Tortall anymore."