Behind the Bitterness

Author: L

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters.

Author's Note: It's been a while since I last wrote a Twilight story so I'm really out-of-touch with the characters. This story starts during the epilogue of Eclipse but I changed the order of events slightly (Jacob receives the invitation to Edward and Bella's wedding before he speaks to Leah).

Chapter 1

Leah's Point of View

My paws pounded furiously against the forest floor as I flew through the trees. I tried to wipe Jacob's miserable expression out of my mind. I wasn't supposed to feel sorry for him after what he had just said about Sam and Emily, but I couldn't stop myself from turning around and running back in the direction I had just travelled in.

He was still sat on the ground looking completely dejected by the time I had returned. Instead of phasing into a human again, I remained in my wolf form and gently brushed my nose against his arm as I passed him.

Jacob glared at me but curiosity quickly washed over his eyes. "What do you want now?" he asked in a hard voice when he couldn't work out why I had come back.

I lifted my paw and tried to neatly trace the words 'Talk. I promise to listen.' in the sandy gravel. He raised an eyebrow suspiciously at me but my only response was to stare intently into his eyes. I figured I would be less likely to offend him or start a fight if I couldn't make any sarcastic remarks about Bella Swan.

"Leah Clearwater, are you actually trying to be nice?" Jacob asked with teasing sarcasm.

Growling at him, I turned around and stomped away.

"Wait, Leah, come back," he protested. "I was joking."

I snapped my head in his direction, still feeling annoyed but his apologetic smile won me over. Striding over to him again, I settled on the ground and rested my head on my front paws.

Jacob was studying me with a confused stare, wary of my sudden friendliness. At the same time, I was wondering why it had been so hard to walk away. The sadness that graced his features had burned itself into my memory. I couldn't leave him like that.

For a while there was only silence in the air but he eventually broke it with a loud sigh. "They're getting married," Jacob whispered quietly before letting out an incredulous snort. "And I'm invited to the wedding."

A small growl left my mouth expressing my disbelief. Hasn't Jacob done enough for her already? Did the bloodsuckers enjoy watching him in pain?

"I knew," Jacob murmured sadly but I could also hear the anger and frustration in his voice. "I knew it was a long shot. I knew she was going to choose that leech even if it meant losing me. I just don't understand why. Why would she want to be one of... one of them?" He spat the word in disgust. "What about Charlie? What about me?"

He averted his gaze and turned his face away from me but I had already seen the tears welling up in his eyes. I could almost kill Bella for hurting Jacob like this. I was so lost in my own enraged thoughts that I almost missed his next words.

"I'll never see her again."

Jacob looked completely lost and there was a hint of innocence flashing across his face. I suddenly understood why I was sitting here. I could sympathise with him. We had done everything we could for the ones we love but in the end, we were overlooked. We were alone.

I let out a pained whimper and strode away. It brought back all the memories and emotions I had fought for years to bury. I could crumble at any second. Despite knowing this, I phased into a human in the cover of the trees and returned to Jacob's side. I wrapped one arm loosely around his shoulder in a half-hearted attempt to comfort him.

"Why can't you be like this all the time?" laughed Jacob but behind the surprised twinkle in his eyes stood the pain that could not be concealed.

I shrugged as my resentment towards love surged through my veins. "I guess I only know how to pity people who have had their heart broken," I muttered.

There was a flicker of annoyance on Jacob's face when the word "pity" came up but I ignored him. The tension we had miraculously managed to smother soon broke through its loose covers and flooded the atmosphere around us.

"I'm going to go," murmured Jacob, standing up and letting out a heavy sigh. "Thanks for listening, Leah. I know you must have found it torturous to not be able to bitch about Bella," he added with a light smirk.

I twisted the corners of my lips into a smirk of my own but I felt troubled by his expression. He looked tired and resigned behind his forced smile.

"I think I'll go with you," I told him as he started to turn away. When he sent me a confused look, I brushed it off and got to my feet. "I haven't seen Billy in a few weeks and I owe him an apology seeing as my stubbornness did result in his son being injured."

"Now that I think about it, you still haven't apologised to me for that," Jacob pointed out. "Or thanked me for heroically saving your life," he added with a grin.

I glared at him and punched his arm.

"I was expecting a different kind of apology," Jacob laughed but he was avoiding my gaze quite noticeably.

"Come on," I muttered, masking the suspicion that was threatening to spill into my tone. "Let's go. My niceness is going to wear off at any second." He threw me an uncomfortable look that betrayed his plans at once. My mouth dropped open as I wrestled with this revelation. "You're not going home. You're going to run away, aren't you?" I demanded furiously.

Jacob hesitated. "I'm only going to be gone for a little while," he insisted. "And I honestly think it's for the best."

Glowering at him, I gritted my teeth together and retorted, "Yeah, Jake, I can see how running away will help." I intercepted before he could voice his excuse. "Go on then. What are you still doing here? Run, Jake. Run." The words were sharp with sarcasm.

Without waiting for his response, I sprinted into the forest and phased.