Hey people! I'm back! Why I haven't been updating, hmm...I need an excuse...OH! I don't know! I just don't feel much inspiration on my stories anymore. But who gives a crap because I decided to make a new story!(Damn, I should focus one thing at a time. I like have 2 incomplete stories!) It's basically Ocarina of Time of LINK'S thought of how it is being a hero. Yup, their are some stuff that sucks about being a hero. Well I should shut the hell up and you read!

I know I said I should shut up but I'm not making a youtube account.(Read my author's note in "Compass of Waves", to find out what I mean.) Yeah. Okay...here it is!

Disclaimer-Last thing and I'll shut up. I DO NOT OWN ZELDA! I know I talk a lot.

My black and White Dream?

Why is everything black and white when I go to sleep? Maybe it's because I got drunk from drinking. Wait a minute, there's no beer in where I live! Unless I order them. Though my book on The Emo Way hasn't come in yet. It's been like a whole year. I wonder what happened to the postman.

Whatever. Anyway this bridge comes down and there's this...whore and a cute girl(Princess?) goes rushing away on a horse. I dodged away. I think she hates me because she threw this submarine at my face for no god damn reason. Then all of a sudden this black dude with red hair comes from the bridge. He makes me want to throw up. He starts to smile. Why the hell is he smiling. Is he going to rape me! Oh god!

HEY! SHUT UP! HEY!

Suddenly this blue fairy trespassed into my house and get this, she had NO warning seizures! That's against the law! (Not that I didn't break any.) She yells "HELLO" at me to wake up. She could have at least said, "Yo, get up!" But I bet she can't talk.

I've been mistaken. She can.

I expected to say Hey! But the blue fairy can say other things. "Hello, Link! Wake up! The Great Deku Tree wants to talk to you! Link, get up!" Wow this fairy has potential. She yells out "HEY! C'mon!" OH MY GOD, my ears are bleeding! Shut the hell up you bastard! I wanted a fairy, but only as a slave! Unfortunately I'm the slave. "Can Hyrule's destiny really depend on such a lazy boy?" What the hell is a Hyrule? Is it like a taco filled with meat. Cause if it is, I want one! Oh and yes, I think this "Hyrule" can depend on a SEXY boy! I woke up because I know what would happen I didn't.(I know you do to.)

"You finally woke up! I'm Navi the fairy!" Why are you Navi? Do you like navigate the sea? If you are, screw it! "The Great Deku Tree asked me to be your partner from now on. Nice to meet you!"

Oh my god! I am so going to commit suicide after Navi's done talking.

"The Great Deku Tree summoned you! So let's get going, right now!" I sarcastically nod. I'm not actually going.

Kokiri Forest

Navi thought that when I nodded, I was serious. She is so gay.

Saria(This girl that I like. She's hot!) comes running to my house. She calls for me. I climbed down my ladder. I talked to her. It was just a bunch of bitching that I didn't listen to. I was too focused on something else on her. Anyway I run all the way to the Great Deku Tree but Mido, who sucks balls, tells me I can't unless I get a sword and a shield. Aw shit. How could I get these things? The shop!

This midget tells me they have shieldlds but no sword! Damn it! The shield is made of wood. Is there any metal in this world. The Deku shield is 40 rupees. I have enough rupees. How do I get them? Working? Hell no! Stupid people drops them in grass, bushes, even water and they don't bother to pick it up. They just leave it there! What idiots.

Okay I got the shield. Now the sword!

Where can I get a sword...maybe I could kill a Kokiri and use their flesh as one. There's no jail so it's legal! See, I break laws!(Even if there's even any.) I see a hole that seems to lead to somewhere. I say Hell. Navi says a sword. What the hell does she mean?

God damn Boulders!

Navi actually is right. There is a sword. Well...I knew it already! I'm about to peacefully walk away, minding my own privacy, not bothering others.

However this boulder tries crushing me. I run for my life. The boulder follows me. This is very similar to something. I think it's in a movie? Anyway I dash into hole, grabbing my hat which I dropped. I survived! YAY!

Deku Tree

I go to Mido and is about to slash him but then he begged for mercy.

I laughed at his face and with my shield I accidently hit his face. Just walk away...

Anyway I'm with the Great Deku Tree. I call him GDT M'man! It's funny! He says this evil has gotten into him and is eating him off. Pff, Like I give a crap! You might be lying. It is always possible. He opens his mouth and tells me to get in. GDT M'man, you want me to go into your mouth filled with monsters. Dude! That's like inserting my ding-dong to your mouth. You still want me to go in. This is just gay. Fine! I'll go in but if you feel funny don't blame me! Your fault! It's your last chance to change your mind. Your mouth is still open? Fine then. Just a few things. Don't spit me out, yell and moan, or do any sexual harassment to me! Okay now...this is freaky. Walking into your mouth. Oh my god.

Wow what luck I have today.

That's all I guess for this chapter. If you want me to update, tell me. Flames are welcomed. Thanks for reading!