Author's Notes: WIP now a restored piece of epic tragedy! And now, allow me the right to cry.
Written for the Final Fantasy Kissing Battle 2014, a "blitzkrieg kiss" for the FFVII Compilation fandom.
The desert heat, it clings onto my black clothing, scorching me slow and steady. I lift my head to feel the dry, humid wind on my face and smile at the hot sun. On this beaten path, my body sways to the beat of rolling tires and desert highways as I recline on the back of this yellow pickup truck.
It's almost been a year now - living as fugitives, running away from Shin-Ra and the Turks. It's no walk in the park, especially when I have a liability to look after. I look sidelong at my comatose companion, sighing, salvaging hope. "I'm just kidding. You know I'd never do that to you."
No response. Again, I die a little on the inside. How much longer can smiles pull me at the teeth until I drop dead?
I don't know. I don't want to think about it, and so I squeeze a smile from my bleeding heart to find the strength to reach out and ruffle his hair. I smile at the golden spikes that never stay down under the mess of my hands, so like my own once. Angeal's phantom must be following me. Am I cursed to fall, too, for my beliefs?
I try not to think about myself, about what makes me unhappy. I think about what drives me to survive. Cloud.
Mako addiction is some pretty hardcore stuff. What I don't get is how I snapped out of it. We were able to hitchhike across the desert, but I'm not sure when's our luck gonna run out. I get the feeling that it will only be a matter of time. I can tell when I spy Shin-Ra's army in the shadow of the horizon. Not exactly your every day friendly mirage.
Hailing for the driver to drop us off behind some random outcropping, I haul Cloud across the sand and place him in the safety of a hollow space. Just know, I'm doing this for you, buddy. You mean a lot to me, more than my own Buster Sword. Heh. Just a little. I smile despite my fears and ruffle his hair.
I don't see the hand that reaches out to me when I turn to walk away.
The moment I step into plain sight, they all raise their guns at me.
"Boy, oh boy... The price of freedom is steep."
I smile at the face of Death.
I don't remember what happened after that. Bits and pieces float in my mind, unable to reconnect to form complete memories – but I remember. I remember all the memories I've made with Sephiroth, Tseng, and Cissnei; the talks we've had, the places we've been, the actions we've seen.
The first time I met Cissnei; I remember her calm maroon eyes and long red curls, such a pretty girl wearing a professional blue blazer. She introduced herself as a Turk. All smiles and always focused, shuriken always poised in the heat of battle. No matter how often I flirted with her, she kept a cool head, always polite and aloof.
My vacation at Costa del Sol with the Turks, she had offered me Suntan lotion in her hot swimsuit, just like that one time she gave me an answer to my prayers.
"Here's a present," Cissnei said.
She handed me the keys to her car and I stared, speechless. I couldn't believe she breached protocol to allow Cloud and I to escape.
And then I hear a deep voice, belonging to a no-nonsense kind of guy.
"Ready to go?"
"Tseng." He introduced himself to me with a permanent scowl and cold set of brown eyes that intimidated me for months on end until I learned to take his frosty side in stride. Sephiroth invades my mind next, because he's the only one who can rival Tseng in seriousness and rare cracks at humor.
"I understand now..."
Sephiroth had never taken me seriously, a young country boy nicknamed as "the puppy" around headquarters for his unparalleled enthusiasm and annoying energy, but spending time with me made him realize why Angeal - one of his best friends - held me in high regard.
"Where's Angeal?"
"Sound the alert."
Tseng. Always the serious one, even in the face of danger. I smirk.
Just like Sephiroth...
"We'll meet again soon."
"This is my job!" she had said, conviction and despair strong in her eyes. I had threatened her not to cross me and she stood her ground despite the inner turmoil conflicting with her mission. Ha, I remember that, Cissnei in a rare moment of emotion.
The only other time I saw emotion from her had been when she crossed my path again.
"Already happened." I gave her an incredulous look then, and she only grinned at me in fondness. Why she's masquerading as my wife-to-be, I didn't want to know. And yet, it did cross my mind sometimes, even though I'd been dating Aerith...
How sometimes Cissnei and I shared our own special moments in the chaos that followed.
We gazed at the radiant sun once, questioning the complex nature of humans, but... "...lies within each person" what did she say again...?
"...better be safe now..."
Oh, yeah. Thanks for looking out for me, Cissnei. You're the best. She began to walk, but paused to turn around and smile at me in farewell, until the next time we met again on the job.
"Zack, I gotta go."
I'm glad I got to see her smile, because that's the last memory I'll have of her as the fight starts wearing me down. The number of injuries are increasing without pause for breath, and I strive to survive. My memories are fading one by one, and yet I try to latch onto them.
"I've never seen you use that..."
He ducked his head, solemn and weary, admiring the unique craftsmanship. Cloud. A country boy, just like me.
The SOLDIER infantryman removed his helmet to reveal spiky blonde hair and an adorable smile.
"Like you've been there."
"...nothing else out there." His laughter, his heartfelt salute, his bright blue eyes - he reminds me of me.
His voice disappears into the quiet noise, "...thanks... Hold on–" as images of Aerith emerge on the forefront of my mind. I focus on her beautiful green eyes, the adorable sound of her light and airy voice, "Hello~!" and the love of her pure and innocent heart.
I see everyone, all my friends, disappear before my very eyes.
Aerith twirled around, her long braid swaying with the motion, hints of sadness flickering in her forest green eyes.
"Will I... see you again?..."
My final memory... is of her saying... "I'll be here."
She promised to wait for me, but... I don't think... I will ever see her again.
I struggle not to forget her, clinging on to all my memories of her, holding them deep in my mind, not wanting to forget, but soon, she too, fades.
Gone, like Angeal, and Sephiroth... like Cissnei, and Tseng... like Cloud... everyone else... and me...
The SOLDIER aims at my head, eyes steady like his hands on the gun, and without hesitation the man fires.
I release a blood-curdling scream.
I wake up to see tears falling from the sky. Cold, and wet, and tired, I find myself too weak to move. Even breathing now... feels like a huge workout...
Angeal's Buster Sword rests beside me, whatever blood that remained from the massacre long gone and washed off the steel due to the downpour. My grip lies slack, yet encircled beneath the handle. Water splashes into my eyes, a sad blend of grey, blue, and more grey blurring my vision. My eyes... so heavy... can't keep them up...
A head of soppy blonde hair enters my line of vision. It hurts my face to smile. It's Cloud... He's finally awake... That's great. He can escape...
I cringe at the pain, a violent wake up call from the haze of death, and grit my teeth, waiting for it to pass. My face soon relaxes, giving me the moment to smile as I look up at my disoriented friend. The glazed look in his mako blue eyes, dull with weariness and shock, reflects my own and it reminds me that I don't... have a lot of time... left...
Words fall off my lips, like snow being blown away by the wind. I can't even hear myself speak.
Whatever I say, it reaches Cloud somehow. He kneels in catatonic shock, repeating what I am saying in hushed whispers, but I know he's listening. I gather what little strength I have remaining and lean forward, lifting my left arm, reaching out to him, ignoring the pain until I grab his head, pulling him down to lay his face on my torso.
I convey my last wish, my final words, to my best friend - my living legacy.
My hand drops, arm splashing back into the murky red puddle. Cloud lifts his head slow, eyes still unfocused, but now sad and afraid. He's going to lose me, and be left behind in an industrial world full of crime and greed and violence. He's afraid to survive on his own. I see blood smeared on the right side of his face, blonde hair also coated in it.
It's... my blood, and the infantrymen, and... like the rest of them... I can't go on...
My muscles are no longer crying in pain; instead, they've become completely numb. Raising the Buster Sword, I hand it to Cloud, and he takes it, curling his hands around the handle. I let go and with that final shove the last of my strength leaves me. I smile, a smile I hope is full of pride for the boy to find strength in.
My honor... my dreams... I leave them all... to you...
...my eyes... starting to close... I feel... sleepy...
"Goodnight, Zack."
Now, I can finally rest.
The sky, so blue, so wide, so free...
'That girl' – Aerith, my love – 'she said that the sky frightened her.'
Clouds. Sunshine. The Lifestream.
'That looks so... liberating.'
Feathers.
Pure, white feathers.
They flutter one by one on my body.
A man soaring from the heavens – not a monster, nor an experiment – a human, an angel –
With eyes wide open, I watch him descend to meet me.
'Those wings... I want them, too.'
He lowers his arm and I raise mine, and together we grasp each other's hand.
My body feels weightless, hovering above the ground, ascending – I close my eyes, smiling wider, and arise.
No more burden. No more pain. No more sorrow.
'It feels... good.'
I see Cloud limping along while dragging the Buster Sword, and I speak out to him knowing he won't hear me.
'If you see Aerith, say hi for me.'
A lone feather falls from the sky... floating, gliding, drifting...
'Hey, would you say I became a hero?'
...until the wind whisks it away, forever under the mercy of nature.
I stand in the middle of a field of yellow flowers, astounded by the endless white brilliance of what one would call the afterlife. Feathers rain down on me, floating all around me in an incorporeal carrier of warm winds. One fits itself onto my palm, a stark white contrast to my black glove. I smile and lift the hand that cradles it, blowing a goodbye kiss so that the feather can carry with it my undying message to Cloud.
"The price of freedom is steep, but as long as you remember to embrace your dreams, whatever happens, you will always have the strength to protect your friends. This is farewell, but not goodbye. Someday, we'll meet again. I promise."
