I sighed and took one last long look at the computer room I was standing in. The computer buzzed and would soon be gone, with the rest of the place. I had saved all the other believers. They would be in a safe place by now, as she had commanded. But for me, there was no more any longer. My saviour would leave me now as well, of that I was sure. As everyone had done. Everyone would end up leaving me in the end. Even she did. Yuki. My precious Yuki who had made me feel something I never felt before, and never though I ever would feel. I had at least given her my last words. Not that she would grieve, she had V now and didn't need me. She never had. I was the one who had needed her. But she had been so kind. And when I had tried to get closer to her, she hadn't pushed me away. She actually even wanted to know things about me that no one else had ever wanted to know or cared about before. But now she was gone as well. A bit of my past flew before my eyes and I wanted to scream in anger. My mum, that bitch! She had made my life a living hell! As everyone else up until I met my saviour.

I looked at the detonator and suddenly felt a strange calmness inside me. This was it. I wonder if everyone feels this calm when they know their end is near? Once you have giving everything up and you got nothing to lose, I guess you don't need to feel afraid.

"Thanks for all, my saviour. And...Yuki. I always loved you. I hope you'll find happiness" My fingers where almost on the button when I heard a very familiar voice behind me. It was a voice I hadn't heard in a long time, but I knew who it was. How had he found me? Hacking of course, it must be it. There had been no reason stopping him from finding out this place now. No one but me was here, and soon not even me. All evidence would be gone.
"Stop there Mr. hacker! What do you think you are doing?" He shouted. I couldn't help but laugh. He couldn't stop it now.

"Well, are you just stupid, or maybe blind damn redhead? Can't you see that I'm planning to blow this place up? Care to die with me... saeyoung? Otherwise I would advice you to get out" I turned around to look at the face that had tormented my dreams for so long. The face that I once loved but came to hate. A face that looked so much like mine, but still not.

I could tell how all colours drained from his face. His eyes widened as if they would pop out from his skull. Heh, so pathetic.

"S...Saeran?!" I flinched. I hated that name. Well, I hadn't from the beginning. But now I did. It remembered me of my old life. And coming from this asshat only made me angrier. My contempt for this person had no boundaries. Any other day I would have killed him on the spot. But all my energy was gone. I was all dead inside, so I really didn't care any more if he lived or died. I had nothing any more, so why would I care? I wouldn't need to see that traitor any more soon anyway where I was going.

"Don't you dare call me that name! It's Ray! I gladly blow you up with me, but I give you this chance to run if you still feel like living. I have no interest in seeing you in hell this soon anyway" It surprised me that I cared about the name he used, I would soon be gone anyway, and no one would even remember my name. Weather as Ray, Saeran or unknown. No one would remember me. My finger was ready to press the red button, but Saeyoung once again stopped me.

"And what about her!?" That actually made me stop, finger almost there.

"Her?" I didn't need to ask, but I still wanted to.

"You know who! Yuki! I'm here partly because of her. She was so worried after your last text messages and calls. I wanted to get her anyway, but she also insisted" Somehow I could feel my heart flutter. Could I really dare to hope for something like that? Could she really be missing me? No, that was unthinkable. It was probably something that traitor bastard told me so I wouldn't kill us right here and now. Every fibre in my soul told me not to trust him.

"And why should I trust you huh? She loves V anyway. She doesn't like me. She wouldn't mind if I'm dead or alive" I could see how my brother gave me a sad look.

"That's not true. She don't like V in that kind of way" I laughed again. Did he think I was stupid.

"I could read their messages. I could tell how much she cared for him"

"Of course she does! He was very badly hurt! She care for him as a friend. She knows that he needs her support tight now. But she only sees him as a friend. You know, I asked her when I saw how sad she was after talking to you. I asked her how she felt about V and you. Who her heart really belonged to. And she said you"

I had to admit that it took me of guard. But no, he lied. That could not be.
"Don't be stupid! How could she ever say she loved me?" My brother suddenly got a small smile on his face.

"I asked her that too. She told me that she was so confused between you and V. So, I asked her if the feelings she has for V isn't that of pity, and that she wanted to help him pull through. And after thinking about it she said that that probably was it. That her feelings towards you where the true love" I wanted to gasp, but refrained from it. Didn't want to give him the pleasure. It was a lie, it must be.

"It's all over now anyway. Leave me alone. You abandoned me! You told me we would be together! You where the only one I looked up to! The only one who made my hellish life better! The thought of we growing up and be able to leave that fucking place together! That's what kept me going!" I shouted. I didn't know what else to do. If I now would die, I could at least pour my heart out. If it wasn't for this freaking headache clouding my thoughts it would have been easier. To my surprise I could see how my brothers eyes got all glossy, until a small stream of tears left them.

"I...I am so sorry. Please! I... This was never intended! I thought Rika and V would take good care of you. They promised! I though you would have it better of with them. I was told you where doing fine. But it was obviously a lie! And I can't tell you how sorry I am. P...Please, tell me what happened to you so that I can understand"

"Why would you care! You only cared for yourself and had a good life! You never thought about me!" I shouted. Not going to give in to his lies.
"Do you think I never thought about you? You where the only thing I thought about! You are my other half! Did you know how hard it was to leave you! But I thought that... If you had a good life, I could live with it! I could live with all shit I was put through, because I at least knew you where fine" I could feel my frustration build up inside. How the other me told me not to give in. Not to listen to all his poisonous lies.

"Fine! You call this fine? Bastard! I hate you! Now, leave me or die! This is your final warning"

To my surprise he sat down on the floor, legs crossed, with a calm look on his face.

"I'm not going to leave" I looked at him shocked.

"What are you doing bastard?"

"Saeran. I won't leave you ever again. If you are going to die, I will to. I've been a bad brother. I can see that now. I should have came back for you. But I was barely a grown up. How could I have supported us two? I'm sorry Saeran, I never wanted things to end like this. Now, do what you must. But please, if not me, think of Yuki. She really does love you. And that is no lie"

How would I ever be able to trust him. Even my saviour had told me not to. But at the same time, here he was, prepared to die with me if he must. He must be insane. He wouldn't care for me like that, right? I still held the detonator but hesitated. My head was in a mess. Filled with hatred, sorrow and, even if I didn't want to admit it, slight hope that my stupid brother gave me. A hope of seeing Yuki again. But my inner demon and darkness wouldn't listen to that.

"How will I know you won't capture me as fast as I let my guard down with you?" I could see the hurt in his eyes, the hurt that his own brother didn't trust him at all. Heh, he only had himself to blame.

"S...Saeran. What Rika has done to you is bad. You need help. If you let me, I will help you. Yuki as well! You will see that I never will abandon you again. That you will get a good, normal life, and be happy by your own power. We can go and see Yuki first thing. Then you can make up your mind! Please, trust me only this once" I could still see the tears in his eyes. Probably fake. Or was they? Why was he so keen on helping me? I didn't want to end up at a mental institution. I needed my demon. Rika had told me so. And it felt good. All this hatred. I needed it. It was the only thing I lived on ever since I was young. But the thought of seeing Yuki again weighted much. But I wouldn't be able to handle another lie from my so called brother gain.
"Who say I ever wanted help. I don't need it"

(Hi guys :D Started on this fic, I hope you'll like it :3 Comment and follow for next chapter :D See you all)