It was just another morning for Lumpy and his farm. Lumpy woke up, went into the bathroom to take a shower, brush his teeth and take care of every one of his hygienic needs. As soon as he was done, he put on his favorite overalls and headed outside to do some work.
When he arrived at his fields, he noticed that his plants were doing fine, but were growing very slowly. Seeing this as a problem, Lumpy thought of a way to fix this, but soon got an idea. He picked up a nearby bag of fertilizer and poured it onto one of his crops. At that moment, however, the notorious odor of the fertilizer assaulted his nose, causing him to cringe and grimace in disgust.
"Ugh, jeez..."
Lumpy covered his nose with his hand, disgusted over the terrible smell of the fertilizer. Despite this, however, he continued feeding the rest of his plants with his fertilizer, knowing they would grow bigger and produce more food for him.
"I hate the smell of this stuff," he said to himself. "It smells like something crawled up my nose and died."
A few minutes later, the last of his plants had been fertilized, and the bag of fertilizer that Lumpy had been using was empty. He put it back in the shed and decided to go over to the corral.
"I wonder how Patches is doing."
As Lumpy headed over to his horse's corral, the highly unpleasant smell of the fertilizer that he had been using became fainter and fainter. However, not only could he still smell it, but he also started to smell something a bit worse. Not nearly as stinky, but even more irritating to his nose.
Lumpy arrived at the corral, pushed the fence open and then closed it behind him. In the distance, he could see a white and brown horse with a long, yellow mane and tail grazing in the grass. This was his horse, Patches, named for the white patches on her otherwise brown coat.
Patches heard the fence close and quickly lifted up her head. Seeing that her owner had arrived for a visit, she whinnied with joy and trotted up to him.
"Hey, Patches! How you doing?" Lumpy asked as he petted Patches' soft mane.
The horse responded with a few snorts of pleasure. Knowing just how happy she was to see him, Lumpy continued to pet her. Suddenly, however, he felt that odd, irritating smell again, and this time, it was at a stronger point. His nose twitched and nostrils flared up.
Lumpy removed his hand from Patches' mane and rubbed under his nostrils with his forefinger. "Hey, what's that weird smell...?"
Patches looked down at the ground, and noticed that there was some familiar-looking yellow plant remaining on the ground. Licking her lips in excitement, she bent over, grabbed onto the plant with her teeth, and sent her neck back up, chewing happily.
The smell got about as strong as it could get, and Lumpy's nose twitched and tickled even more. It was then that he realized what that smell was...
The smell of hay. It was Patches' favorite thing to eat, and Lumpy had known that for as long as he had her. But whenever he came near it, his nose would tickle like crazy from the smell, which set off his hay fever and often made him need to sneeze. He tried not to feed Patches too much straw, but she loved it so much, she felt like she couldn't get enough of it. In fact, she must have went and gotten one of the hay bales herself so that Lumpy wouldn't have to.
Patches finished her hay and swallowed it, but then noticed that her master was sniffling and rubbing his nose. Not understanding what his actions meant, Patches got an idea and trotted over to a different part of the corral. Maybe he wanted some of what she was eating. When she finally got there, she came to a small hay bale, stopped and bent her neck down. She pushed the bale with her nose as she returned to Lumpy.
"Aah, aaaah..." Lumpy's breath hitched as he rubbed his nose as hard as he could. But the smell of the hay was really strong, and continued to tickle his nose. It smelled almost like pollen and dust, ironically - both of them were things he was already allergic to. "AaaaaaaaAH..."
Just as Lumpy's hitching started to get louder, Patches finally returned to him with her hay bale. She picked up the rope holding the bale together with her teeth and offered it to Lumpy, holding it up to his face.
Unbeknownst to the brown and white horse, she only made him need to sneeze even more. The smell of the hay was bad enough, but a small, rough and fluffy piece of hay arose from the bale and touched the edge of one of Lumpy's nostrils. At this point, he just about lost it. With a final inhale, he tilted his neck back and exploded.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Lumpy shot his neck forwards as he released the monstrous sneeze, a large amount of wind and spray emerging from his mouth and nose. As quick as a flash, the hay bale was destroyed, and a large amount of dust and bits of straw and hay were sent flying everywhere. Lumpy would have recovered and rubbed his nose, but his nose could sense the amount of hay flying around in the air, as well as the dust. Mostly the hay, however; even though it was much less soft than feathers, it still tickled quite badly. Lumpy needed to sneeze again.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Lumpy shot his neck forwards repeatedly as he sneezed a loud triple, a good amount of spray coming out of his mouth. Each of the sneezes blew most of the dust and some of the hay away from his nose, only for the rest of the straw in the air to keep irritating it.
"Heeektchhh!" Patches doubled over before she let out a few sneezes of her own. She had gotten some straw up her nose, and it was sending her into a fit as well. But since she wasn't allergic, it wasn't nearly as bad as Lumpy's reaction. "Iktchhh, hucktchhhh! Hah... HAKTSHHHHHHH!"
Whenever Patches had a sneezing fit, the last sneeze in the attack was always the biggest and worst one. Recovering, Patches snorted and rubbed her hoof across her nostrils. Then she looked over at her master and noticed that he still needed to sneeze.
"Aaaah, aaaaaaaahhhh..." Lumpy tilted his upper body farther and farther back. He fanned his hand in front of his open mouth, fearing the worst possible sneeze he could ever let out. Most of the hay in the air had retreated onto the ground, but Lumpy's nose could still feel the tickle. He just wanted it all to end, right here and right now.
Patches waited for Lumpy to sneeze, but he didn't get to the release, even after 30 seconds. Growing impatient, Patches decided that the best thing to do was to help him sneeze. The mare bit onto a piece of straw from the ground, picked it up, stuck into Lumpy's nostril and wiggled it around.
"AaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHH...!" Lumpy's nostrils flared up even more. The tip of the straw felt rough on his nose, but that actually made it tickle even more. It felt like a feather tickling his nose, except with a much coarser sensation. Patches continued to tickle his nose, but when it looked like he was finally going to sneeze, she yanked the straw out of Lumpy's nose. The last bit of straw alone was enough to make him release the last sneeze in the fit.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Patches cringed as Lumpy shot his neck forwards with the sneeze. She could clearly see a good amount of mucus spurting out of his nostrils. But luckily, the annoying tickles of the hay were finally expelled from Lumpy's nose.
"Ugh, phew." Lumpy sighed with relief as he rubbed his nose with his forefinger.
Patches whinnied slightly to bless Lumpy, but instead of responding, he kept rubbing his nose. He didn't understand her horse lingo.
"It doesn't look like you need anything..." Lumpy finally said. "I guess I'll check on the other animals and see how they are."
Lumpy turned to the fence, pulled the gate open and walked out of the corral. He closed the gate behind him, with Patches watching him go.
As Lumpy entered the pastures and checked on his other animals, he found that they didn't really need anything. They were already taken care of, as Lumpy had already tended to most of their needs earlier that morning. With all of the animals satisfied, Lumpy headed towards the barn.
He pushed open the door of the barn and proceeded inside, turning on the light as he did. Besides the amount of tools and collected resources that he had in here, there was a single coop with a female chicken on it. Lumpy walked up to her and petted her, smiling as her feathers stroked his hand.
"Hee hee..." He couldn't help but giggle slightly from the tickling sensation. "You doing okay, too?"
The chicken nodded in confirmation, perfectly capable of understanding his dialogue. She then flapped one of her wings to shake it out, but a small feather shed from her wing and floated through the air. It floated down to the ground, but along the way, it stroked under Lumpy's nostrils, tickling them and making them flare up.
"Aaaaah-" Lumpy inhaled and immediately shoved his forefinger under his nose. He really didn't want to sneeze again, but his nose was just too sensitive for that little feather. "AaaaaaaaAAAAHHHH-"
As Lumpy kept trying to hold his sneeze back, the chicken looked on for a moment, looking curious. When she heard his inhales get louder, however, she squawked in fear and ducked down, covering the sides of her head with her wings. She shivered in fear as she waited for the sneeze to release, not realizing that her tail feathers were right in front of Lumpy's nostrils.
At a final attempt to hold back the sneeze, Lumpy took a deep sniff, but ended up sucking one of the chicken's tail feathers toward his nose. It wiggled on the edges of his nostrils, causing the urge to sneeze to intensify. No longer having any choice in the matter, Lumpy turned his head away from the chicken, tilted his neck as far back as possible...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-" ...and finally let the sneeze out. "CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Lumpy shot his neck forwards as he released the sneeze, which was loud enough to cause the entire barn to shake. It was also forceful enough to blow a good amount of spray from his mouth. The chicken cringed as she heard the sneeze; she had never heard anything like it.
Lumpy recovered from the huge sneeze, but his nose was now looking very red. He sniffled and rubbed his nose with his forefinger, groaning slightly. He reached into his overalls pocket, pulled out a handkerchief, held it to his nostrils and blew his nostrils loudly.
Uncovering the areas where her ears would be the chicken clucked to bless him, despite that she couldn't speak English.
"Ugh... excuse me..." Lumpy wiped his nose with the handkerchief, sniffling several times. "I didn't know that being on a farm could make me so sneezy."
Lumpy then proceeded to walk out of the barn, pulling the door shut behind him. He headed back into his farmhouse, sniffling and wiping his nose every step of the way. He reached the front door and started to go inside, but his nostrils twitched again. This time, it was because of the flowers that were growing in the ground around his house. They had a really strong scent, and released a good amount of pollen every day, making his allergies go off.
"Ugh, every day with thi-" Lumpy was cut off by his hitching breath. "AaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHH-"
"CHOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Lumpy doubled over as he sneezed loudly into his handkerchief, and then blew his nose with it.
"Ugh... every day with this," he muttered as he went into his house, wiping his nose with the slightly wet handkerchief.
After taking off his overalls, Lumpy put it and his used handkerchief into the washer and started it up. While waiting for it to finish, Lumpy took a tissue from his tissue box and wiped his nose again. He didn't bother to blow again, as he thought doing so would make him need to sneeze again.
That night, Lumpy made dinner and sat down at the table to enjoy it. Before eating, he placed his tissue box right next to his meal. He was most likely going to sneeze while eating, so he had his tissues ready in case that would happen.
He took the first bite of his food. It tasted good, but it was a little flat, so he decided it needed some seasoning. He grabbed the large pepper grinder in the middle of the table and ground some pepper over his food.
However, the scent of the pepper alone caused his nostrils to flare up. He tried to ignore the growing urge to sneeze, but a few small grains of pepper floated up into his nose, making him need to sneeze. He put down the grinder.
"Aaah, AAAAHHHHH..." Lumpy grabbed a couple of tissues from the tissue box and then sneezed loudly into them. "AAAAAAAAAHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Thankfully, that one sneeze alone was enough to expel the small amount of pepper from his nostrils. Lumpy blew his nose loudly, and then rubbed his nostrils with his forefinger.
"Maybe I shouldn't eat my food with pepper anymore," he thought to himself.
Throwing the tissues away, Lumpy continued eating his dinner, feeling more satisfied with the flavor than before he put the pepper on it. When he was finished, he did the dishes and got ready for bed. Once he had washed up, he put on his pajamas and crawled into his bed. He turned off the lamp next to him, and then started to doze off for the night.
So many things from the farm had made him sneeze today: pollen, dust, feathers, hay and pepper. He pretty much knew he was going to sneeze at several points, however, due to his sensitive nose. And he was pretty sure that tomorrow wouldn't be any less sneeze-filled as today had been, even if he tried to be more careful.
There just wasn't a place Lumpy could live without sneezing at least once every day, was there? He wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't - sneezing was practically all he did.