Poppin' Revolution
A Pop Team Epic and Hamilton Crossover
AN: I know what all of you are thinking: "Why hasn't there already been a crossover between Pop Team Epic and Hamilton?" And I completely understand your complaints. Those two works were literally made for each other, and I am shocked and horrified that no one has tried to cross them over yet. Luckily, for you great readers, you have a hero: me! I am here to end the lack of Pop Team Epic/Hamilton crossover content with this revolutionary (GEDDIT) fanfiction! Be prepared for this dramatic story. You will laugh; you will cry; you will never be the same.
Chapter 1: Don't Tread on Pipimi
ONE DAY IN POPUKO'S HOUSE IN WHICH HER PARENTS ARE STRANGELY ABSENT AS USUAL:
Popuko was playing video games like she does very often for long periods of time at a time.
"This game is SHIT!" She threw the controller out the window, hitting someone's car and shattering the windshield. "I wonder where I left my delicious Totino's Pizza Rolls ®!"
When she looked under the couch, she saw something very strange: a newspaper!
"What the fuck is a newspaper doing in my house? Better burn it! But wait a minute..." Looking at the front, it was titled Takeshobo Times!
"FUCKING TAKESHOBO!1111111111 NOT ONLY IS THERE A KUSO NEWSPAPER IN MY HOUSE, BUT IT'S A FUCKING TAKESHOBO NEWSPAPER?! DAMN YOU, TAKESHOBO! I've got to tell Pipimi about this!"
"Pipimi-chan," said Popuko over the phone with tears in her eyes. "Something horrible happened! A Takeshobo newspaper is in my house!"
"I'm on my way!" exclaimed Pipimi, instantly crashing through the roof. Picking up the newspaper, she looked at the newspaper and read the newspaper, reading the information in the newspaper.
"This can't be right!" She turned on the tv on as the screen was on as well, and every channel was owned by Takeshobo!
"Jesus Christ, Takeshobo doesn't just have control of this newspaper, they've taken over the entire world!"
They opened the window as light flowed into the room and it shined in, and there were billboards everywhere that said things like, "Takeshobo owns you," "Takeshobo is God," and "Destroy kuso anime."
"FUCKKIJGGNFKSJAJB TKASKKESHOBOOJSJDIIAJFNKSKKOMZKKSJFJAK!11111221111283211111111" shrieked Popuko. "How can this be? HOW CAN THIS BE?!1111"
"I can't believe Takeshobo finally won. Fucking Takeshobo!"
"Fucking Takeshobo!"
"But there might still be a way to defeat Takeshobo after all!" Pipimi plugged herself into her computer, absorbing the information. "I understand! Takeshobo used time travel to make the United States lose the American Revolution! He was allied with the king, but betrayed him, taking over the British Empire and then the world!"
"So what should we do? Maybe I should SMASH TAKESHOBO TO FUCKING PIECES AND PUT IT INTO A BLENDER AND MAKE IT INTO A MILKSHAKE AND DRINK IT!"
"I have a better idea! We need to travel back in time and save America from Takeshobo! I know Takeshobo's plans because I absorbed the information from the computer! Now, let's TIME TRAVEL!"
"FUCK YEAH LET'S STOP TAKESHOBO!"
Pipimi called Shouta Aoi, who teleported in.
"It's me, Shouta Aoi! What do you ladies need?"
"We need to travel back in time to save America and then the world!" exclaimed Pipimi.
"Alright, let's gooooooooooo!"
Later I mean earlier:
It was some time in the 1700s in the Caribbean, and the bastard orphan Alexander Hamilton was a teenager living in the Carribblliean in the 18th century. There was reggae music everywhere because this is the Carbibeon and Hamilton was dressed like Bob Marley.
There are a million things he hasn't done, and is sad and alone. He only has his brother Chalexander (that's not really his brother's name, but it'd be cool if it was!) and his writing and his smarty smarty brain and a rock with a face on it that he named Philip (that's why he named his son Philip, his name actually had nothing to with Philip Skycklller [that's how you spell his name, right?]).
He was wanting to move to Murcia so that he could show off his writing skills, but Takeshobo left mean reviews on his writing online and now Hamilton is losing his motivation. "I'll never be good at writing, those reviewers must be right. I guess I'll just stay here for the rest of my life instead of going to Muricia and fighting in the Revolution and eventually becoming a Founding Father and then the first Treasury Secretary."
"Hey, dude," said Pipimi.
"Who are you two?"
"I'm Pipimi, and this is my friend Popuko."
"Sup," said Popuko. "We're here to tell you how great your writing is."
"But my writing isn't good, it's horrible! Those people left me mean reviews!"
"Yeah, but those people are fucking idiots. I mean look at this shit!" Popuko grabbed a paper that Hamilton wrote and started to read.
"Thy cheese haseth the most exquisite taste, for it fills thou soul with such glee. Oh cheese, enlighten my heart!"
"Look, your writing is fucking amazing," said Pipimi. "Please don't quit on your dreams because of some fuckers on the internet!"
"You're right, my writing is great! I have to go to Murica so I can grow up to be a hero and a scholar!"
"And the world's gonna know your name, what's your name man?"
"Alexander Hamilton! My name is Alexander Hamilton! And there's a million things I haven't done, but just you wait! Just you waaaaait!"
And so, Alexander said his last goodbyes to his brother Chalexander and got ready to board that boat to Neo Yokio I mean New York.
"Nice boat!" joked Popuko. "GEDDIT?!"
Pipimi started laughing hysterically. "Hahaha, that was so funny!"
"I don't get it," said Hamilton.
Pipimi glared at him. "Laugh."
"Oh, I get it now! Hahahahahahahahaha!"
Anyway, Hamilton boated the board.
"Thank you for everything, Popuko and Pipimi!"
They all waved goodbye.
"Okay, now we've got to go to Murica so we can save Murica!" exclaimed Pipimi.
"Fuck yeah!"
ON THE WAY TO MURICA ON THE BOW OF A SHIP HEADED FOR A NEW LAND! IN NEW YORK YOU CAN BE A NEW MAN!
"HOLY SHIT THE BOAT'S ON FIRE SOMEONE DO SOMTHING!" yelled Hamilton.
LATER IN NEW YORK WHERE ALEXANDER HAMILTON CAN BE A NEW MAN:
Hamilton was introduced to Aaron Burr, John Laurens, Marquis de Lafayette, and that's right HERCULES MULLIGAN!
"BRRRAAH BRRRRRAAH!"
But along these men was a young teenager named Daichi. An annoying girl named Sosogu always followed him around.
"My name is Daichi Taira, and I am an ordinary Revolutionary. I spend an average day preparing for the upcoming battle, but for some strange reason, a random girl won't stop annoying me."
"Daaaaaichi! Stop narrating your life and spend some time with me!" exclaimed Sosogu.
"Who even are you, and why do you always follow me around?"
"Don't you remember me, Daichi-kun? We're gonna get married and have two kids named Iceland and Sri Lanka!"
"Stay away from me, freak!"
"NO DAICHI-KUN COME BACK!"
The rest of the people in the bar watched in confusion as Daichi was chased around in circles by this weird girl.
Popuko and Pipimi spent the time in between these two segments of the chapter on vacation in the Carritobvoaoon. They were on some of those chair bed thingies on the beach next to some palm trees.
"Ah, good times," said Pipimi.
"It almost makes me forget about FUCKING TAKESHOBO!" Popuko smashed her martini with her bare hands and ate the glass.
"Anyway, it looks like it's time for us to get to America and save America from Takeshobo!"
"Will we take a boat there?"
"Actually, we're already there!"
Popuko took off her sunglasses and realized that they somehow appeared in New York.
"Huh, that was fast."
"Popuko? Pipimi?"
"Hey, Hammy," said Popuko.
"What are you guys doing in New York?"
"We wanted to see the greatest city in the world," said Pipimi.
"Yeah, it really is great," agreed Alexander. "Oh, I'd like to introduce you to my new friends! Popuko and Pipimi, meet John Laurens, Aaron Burr, Marquis de Lafayette, and that's right HERCULES MULLIGAN!"
"I'm Sam Adams in a place to bean, two kites of John Laurens but I'm working on BEAN!"
"Laurens isn't usually this drunk," whispered Hamilton.
"Je m'appelle Lafayette!" exclaimed the Frenchman pridefully.
Pipimi clapped her hands together. "Ah, a Frenchman!" They both began a conversation in French as Popuko continued being introduced to the rest of Hamilton's friends.
"BRRAAH BRRAAH I AM HERCULES MULLIGAN!"
"And I'm Aaron Burr," said Aaron Burr.
"Bitch," said Popuko.
"Pardon me?"
"Nothing, bitch."
Everyone continued conversing before Popuko got super drunk and started rambling about Takeshobo. WHICH IS ILLEGAL or at least it is now, but this is like 100 BC when everything was legal except for being gay.
She eventually sobered up, and they decided to do some sightseeing, as they saw famous structures such as the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, the place from that one episode of Seinfeld about the Soup Nazi, and the Twin Towers (they were still there because this was before 2001).
"Man, I really missed New Donk I mean York City," said Pipimi. "We used to spend so much time here, so its strange to see it again."
"I agree, Pipimi-chan. But you know what city I miss even more?"
"Albany."
"Fuck yeah, I can't get enough of Albany!"
"I wish we could spend the rest of our lives there."
Popuko flipped a bird at a nearby taxi. "So what do we do next to defeat FUCKING TAKESHOBO?"
"Our best bet is to wait and see what Take sends to fight us first. That'll give us a better idea of how much power they have. And no matter how strong they are, we'll always be stronger. Anyway, it might be good to have someone else powerful on our side. I know just the person that could help us!"
"Who were you thinking?"
"HELLSHAKE YANO!"
1776:
The Declaration of Independence had just been signed, as Thomas Jefferson was admiring his work.
"Thomas, you genius you, not only do you write such a brilliant declaration and put a secret map on the back, but you also got so many signatures! I really am a great Founding Father!"
But upon closer inspection, Jefferson noticed some strange signatures on the document.
"That can't be right...who the fuck are Popuko and Pipimi?"
AN: Here's the first chapter! Obviously, this story is a crack fic, so don't take any of this seriously. I mostly just write crack fics, so if that's the type of thing you enjoy, come check out some of my other fics! My upload schedule is rather sporadic, but stay tuned for a second chapter! I'm not sure how long this story will be, but it likely won't be very many chapters. If you have any suggestions for this story, please tell me in the comments! Thanks for reading, and TO BE CONTINUED!