Chapter one

Ross has always been the life of the party. He was always so happy and he never complained about working hard and having a busy schedule. He was always smiling; he never seemed to get upset or over-stressed. He could make anyone smile, in any situation. He constantly gave his all for the fans. He was one of a kind.

But he had a secret. No one knew this about him, no one at all. Not his brothers, or his parents and definitely not Ratliff. What no one knew is that Ross was gay, and he was in love with his best friend and fellow bandmate Ellington Ratliff.

|l|l|l|l|l|

ROSS POV

We all ran off the stage after another amazing show. There was just so much good energy in the crowd, and we rocked our hardest. We had just finished the first show on the louder tour in Warsaw. It was amazing to think that, R5, a little family band, had thousands of fans on the other side of the world.

We were all sweaty and gross, but we all hugged each other and said how great each of us played. I looked over and saw that Rydel and Ellington were holding hands. They had been 'together' since New Year's Eve, when they shared a midnight kiss. Jealousy filled my thoughts, as they flirted with each other.

No one knew this, but I had the biggest crush on Ellington. I think I was falling in love with him, but how could you not? I mean his hair was so perfect and his eyes were the most beautiful shade of brown. But I knew that he would never feel that way about me. He was dating my sister, a girl.

I couldn't imagine what would happen if the world found out I was gay, and that I like Ellington. Rydel would hate me for sure, and Ratliff would probably be so freaked out that he would never want to see me again. I still worked for Disney as well, so my contract would probably be cancelled, along with R5s contract with Hollywood Records. I had been keeping my secret to myself for the past four months, and I couldn't tell anyone.

|l|l|l|l|l|

We were now in the hotel, and we were all just hanging around on the couch in Riker's room. His had the best Wi-Fi connection and was the biggest out of all the rooms. I was sitting on one of the armchairs, Rocky was sprawled out on the floor with Riker, and Ratliff and Rydel were cuddled together on the couch.

Just the sight of them together made my heart sink. The way that he looked at Rydel with such passion and love, I wish he looked at me like that. But he would never love me like that. I was a guy, to begin with, and it was clear that he was interested in girls. Rydel was beautiful, which may sound weird coming from me, her brother, but it was true. I was so plain and boring. Not Ellington Ratliff worthy.

I looked over at them again, and they were full on making out. Ratliff had his hands on either cheek, as their lips moved together. I wish he would kiss me like that. I bet his kisses are amazing. I would probably never find out, but from just looking at them, you could tell.

I couldn't sit here and watch them anymore; it hurt too much, watching your crush making out with your sister. I didn't ask to be gay, and given the choice, I would choose to be straight in a heartbeat. But I couldn't help the way that I felt around Ellington. How my heart fluttered when he looked at me, and the butterflies that swarmed my stomach when I saw him smile.

I got up and headed to the door without saying anything. I just made my way to my room, and slammed my door. I sat down on the bed and tugged violently at my hair. This crush was driving me insane, and I wish it would just go away.

I heard the door open and looked up to see Riker standing in front of me. Out of all of my siblings, me and Riker were definitely the closest. We told each other everything, well almost everything, and I knew that I could trust him with anything. But trust wasn't an issue with telling Riker about my crush on Ellington, I was scared that he would judge me, that he wouldn't want to be my brother anymore.

"Hey Riker"

"What's wrong Ross?"

I could list a million things that were wrong, but I really didn't want to tell anyone my secret.

"Nothing…"

"Come on Ross, seriously. You're always so happy and energetic, this isn't like you"

Maybe I could tell Riker.

|l|l|l|l|l|

RIKER POV

No one knew what was going on when Ross stormed out of the room. It was so unexpected, that we didn't even know it had happened, until he was gone. Rydel and Ellington had finally stopped making out, but they were still holding hands tightly.

No one was saying anything, and the silence was starting to become awkward.

"I think I' going to go check what's up with Ross"

I quickly hurried out of the room and towards Ross' room. I already had a key to his room, since I was the oldest; I had a key to everyone's rooms. I opened the door and saw Ross sitting on his bed, and it looked like he was trying to rip his hair out.

Ok something was definitely wrong. Ross was never like this. He was the crazy, fun energetic one, the one that never got tired or upset. Now here he was, looking frustrated and stressed. He looked up and his expression softened a little bit when he saw me.

"Hey Riker"

"What's wrong Ross?"

He hesitated for a brief moment.

"Nothing…"

"Come on Ross, seriously. You're always so happy and energetic, this isn't like you"

He paused for a while, and seemed deep in thought. Ross and I have always been close. We were like best friends rather than brothers. We always told each other everything, no secrets, and it kind of hurt me to think that Ross was hiding things from me.

"If I tell you this, you have to promise not to tell anyone, and I mean anyone"

"You can trust me Ross"

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair again; it was one of his many nervous habits. Whatever Ross had to tell me, it couldn't be that bad.

"I have a crush on Ellington"

Or maybe it could be that bad