101 Ways To Annoy, Confuse, Harass or Generally Scare D'Jok
1. Follow him everywhere.
2. Constantly remind him that Micro-Ice should have been the captain.
3. Write and choreograph a play about the worst points in his life...
4. ...insist he sits through it.
5. Tell him that there was a mistake at the hospital and that Artegor is his real father.
6. Offer him hair die and say, 'It'll be less embarrassing.'
7. Write him love letters from Kernor.
8. Rose-tint his Snow Kid outfit.
9. Put itching powder in all of his clothes.
10. Ask him if Lune-Zeara has pretty eyes.
11. Pretend you're Lurr
12. Reply to what ever he says with, 'That's what YOU think'.
13. Spray everything he touches with disinfectant.
14. Get him lots of jewellery and act offended if he doesn't wear it all the time.
15. Give him your old football for Christmas and act insulted if he thinks it's a joke.
16. Tell him that Lurr just needs a really big hug.
17. Finish all your sentences with, 'According to the prophecy.'
18. Write parodies of songs saying how much better Sinedd is than him.
19. Pay one of the Rykers to play dress-up with him...
20. ...all day.
21. During the next Shadows v Snow Kids match, jinx the ball to fly away from him.
22. If you're really clever, jinx the ball to fly right to Sinedd's feet.
23. Turn Clamp into a toad.
24. During the next match, Adjust the tint on the TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way.'
25. When he challenges you about it, insist you were only trying to bring out Wuwamboo's eyes.
26. Tell him that you think that Sonny Blackbones and Dame Simbai would have made a cute couple.
27. Cough insults as you walk passed him.
28. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and block his bedroom, then say, 'only those with security clearance can pass.'
29. Ask him, if his father is blond and his mother is a brunette, why is he a redhead? (It's a goot point)
30. While watching the Snow Kids in the stadium, Scream goal every time he gets the ball. It's funnier if the he is nowhere near the goal.
31. As soon as the fourth official signals how much extra time has been given, start counting down and scream "FINALLY" when the whistle is blown even if for a foul, after which say, "Damn never-ending game.'
32. Once they loose a match, skip up to him and start singing, 'if you're happy and you know it clap your hands.'
33. Make it appear as if Yuki is developing magical abilities.
34. Imitate him.
35. Sing (as loudly as humanly possible) the GF theme tune whenever he enters the room.
36. Once they get to the final, reveal that there was been an alien invasion and that they had to start again, then shoo them off to do their first qualifying match.
37. Give him a ball of whirling purple light and say that Sonny gave it to you to play in the next game.
38. Put up posters with him Photoshopped in a white jumpsuit, with the message: "D'Jok is the Stig".
39. Ask, 'WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?' Whenever he enters a room.
40. Ask him how his mum is.
41. Date Sinedd (you know you want to).
42. Date D'Jok and wear a T-shirt that says 'I heart Sinedd.'
43. Act like a worried mother, panicking over everything he touches, every time he moves and say, 'Just catching up on lost times.' Then, when he mentions Mia, say, 'So your mum is alive. Why lie to the world?' Act like you're having a heart-attack.
44. Panda to Ahito's every need.
45. Ignore him.
46. Convince him that he needs to go somewhere where there's cheese.
47. Buy him a Chihuahua.
48. While he's still recovering, shout: "Now you know how Sinedd felt!"
49. Refuse to let him through a door without him telling you his favourite colour.
50. Stay in front of a fan (turned on to max.) for half an hour, then pretend to be Artegor.
51. Ask him if Mark had a life before joining.
52. Say that you're going to get your nails done with Mei and it wouldn't be the same without him, don't take no for an answer. (Also works with guys, new)
53. Read the article from the paper, that you made up, about D'Jok cheating on Mei with Kernor. WARNING: you could get savagely murdered if this info gets to the wrong ears.
54. Lock him in the Mark's room. Poor soul!
55. ...while he's in there. oops
56. Invite the Xenons to his house for a dinner party.
57. Speak to him in Wambish
58. When he doesn't understand, say, "Well you didn't have a problem when Lune-Zeara was here!" (This works best if Mei is in the room.)
59. Learn Cycloguese.
60. Treat him as if he was a Cyclops.
61. Make a cloud follow him everywhere, raining on him all the time.
62. Talk only in Cycloguese to him. (Might as well put it to good use if you went through the trouble of learning it.)
63. Tell him you love Technoid.
64. If he asks where you're going, reply, 'to see Lurr', then look at him accusingly, to finish off, laugh evilly.
65. Knit him an extra large jumper for Christmas - with the label on both sides - and present to both him and Micro-ice. Tell them you didn't have enough money to buy them one each, so they have to share this one.
66. If they try to put it on, laugh.
67. In the middle of a conversation, run off clutching your left arm and muttering something about how you have to see Bleylock.
68. Hide his posters of himself.
69. Swap his timetable with Mei's.
70. At Hallowe'en, curse the bats to follow him everywhere.
71. Suggest Harris to become their new coach.
72. Give him a name tag, if he asks why say, 'You're not famous enough.' (You'll see steam coming out of his ears.)
73. Call him Jockey.
74. Dye his hair black an say that he looks just like Sinedd.
75. Tell him you know these great films about this football team…
76. Write him a three-hour lecture explaining why he will never be half the footballer that Sinedd is.
77. Make him sit through it.
78. Twist his words.
79. Ask him for signed photos - constantly.
80. "Mei told Micro-ice to tell Tia to tell Thran to tell Ahito to tell Yuki to tell Mark to tell Rocket to tell Clamp to tell Dame Simbai to tell Aarch..."
81. "...to tell Artegor to tell Sinedd to tell Telmig to tell Ralf tell Adim to tell Harris to tell me to tell you that... um... actually, I can't remember."
82. Offer him free hugs.
83. Whenever a picture is being taken of him, give him the Bunny ears. When the picture is taken, disappear.
84. Make him eat Toxic Waste.
85. Ask him, 'what went wrong?' after every match. (Preferably when he wins)
86. Steal his dream journal.
87. Give him a bowl cut.
88. Pretend to be cooler than him.
89. Fake tragic futures when reading his tea-leaves, then say, 'that is your destiny this year'.
90. Pay Wuwamboo to follow him everywhere.
91. Change the password to his bedroom.
92. Refuse to tell him what you changed it to.
93. Whenever he gets an idea, smash something on his head so he forgets.
94. Critisize everything he does - especially when he's doing it right.
95. Create Bleylock's Army.
96. Tell him that that he's got his trousers on back-to-front. (It's always funniest when they look.)
97. Make sure he repeats this action every day.
98. Point at his hair and whisper to the nearest person, "Is that Tia?"
99. Ask to see the Shadow's logo on his chest.
100. Teach him how to Death Growl.
101. Tell him Artegor loves him.
Please review, it means the world.
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