She didn't know when it happened but it did. Xena the fierce hardened warlord, had fallen in love. She tried to deny it , to push back the feelings but they were becoming too much. It ate away at her very soul and no amount of armor could protect her from it.
"Xena. Come and join me."
Gabrielle was calling her from the fireside. The small flicker of light against her face made her seem even more angelic. She was hopelessly smitten and the blonde didn't even know.
"I'm fine over here."
Gabrielle frowned.
"It's cold out tonight. You'll freeze. Come sit by the fire . "
Always so caring but she would never let herself freeze out here.
"The fires getting low. We need wood."
"I already gathered some while you were sharpening your blade."
Gabrielle pointed out the pile of branches beside a couple boulders.
It seemed this was a battle she had lost.
"Allright move over."
The flames illuminated Gabrielle's smile and when she sat down beside her she made the fire feel like a cool breeze against her skin.
"I've been thinking about you you know." Gabrielle said.
Her heart raced abnormally fast at the confession. She thought about her too. All the time. Though her insides were a whirlwind she remained calm and stoic on the outside.
"Yeah?What for?"
"A story. Want to hear it?
"I'm not one for stories."
"Come on Xena! We're by a fire. That's the perfect time for storytelling. Besides it plays out your good side."
"My good side?" She replied in vague amusement. "You mean I have a bad side?"
"Well- no you're perfect but sometimes you can be just a little….difficult "
Gabrielle was trying to backpedal but she wasn't going to let her. Not with an opportunity like this.
"I am not difficult."
"Well you're not easy."
"I can be. You just got to know how to treat me."
The slightest tint rose to Gabrielle's cheeks as she realized the other meaning behind her words.
She smirked knowingly.
"Go on then tell me your story."
"Um...okay." Gabrielle cleared her throat and sat up a little more. "There was a fierce warrior, strong, and brave by the name of Xena. She fought with her heart, and soul. Though her battles were tough she never lost sight of what she stood for, goodness.…" Gabrielles eyes met hers, filling her with a warmth that clenched at her heart.
"She traveled with a young bard eager to see the world with her. Admiring the warrior princess' strength and abilities. She couldn't understand why Xena put up with her."
"Gabrielle…"
"Xena was strong and tactful, unlike her. All she ever did was hold her back. "
"Gabrielle. Stop. That's not true."
She didn't know what was happening why Gabrielle was saying this. What had happened?
"She just wanted to feel appreciated…"
Gabrielle trailed off and her eyes sparkled sadly. She wanted to tell Gabrielle everything, how long she's been in love with her and how much but she was afraid of losing her and that fate was too painful to live in.
"I appreciate everything you do Gabrielle."
The strength behind her words made the bard give her a watery smile. "You are the best thing that has happened to me."
Gabrielle beamed once more and looked like she was on the verge of crying. Oddly enough she felt her own eyes doing the same. Gabrielle slowly wrapped an arm around her armor clad waist and moved them closer to one another. She was the only person she ever let touch her this way, because she was the only person she truly trusted to.
They would sometimes sit like this by the fire for hours.
"Thank you…"
She slowly traced over the back of Gabrielle's hand, trying to tell her what her courage could not. To let her know how much she cared for her, how deeply her presence has changed her. But the three words in her heart never came out.
"I was proud of you today."
"Really?"
"Yes. You practiced long and hard and finally executed a flip."
"Right foot first." Gabrielle hummed in response. Though she couldn't see it, she could hear Gabrielle's smirk of amusement.
"How many tries do you think it took me?"
"Wasn't counting."
"Right, said the woman that lectured me on doing it 300 times without the staff!"
"Practice is key. Just because you did it once today doesn't mean you've perfected it or will be able to do it tomorrow. "
Gabrielle stiffened behind her once the words left her mouth. She had forgotten how sensitive Gabrielle could be about her critique. She quickly tried to correct the damage.
"All I meant by that was you can't be so sure about it. Confidence is a good trait to have, but there is always a fine line between bravery and foolishness. That's why you need to practice. I'm still proud of all you've done today."
She turned in the arms that were no longer holding onto her so tightly.
Gabrielle gave her a small smile but she could still see the crestfallen look in her eyes. It seemed her words weren't enough to make her feel better.
She reached up and brushed a hand against Gabrielle's cheek. She meant to reassure her but it did more than that. The entire moment shifted. Gabrielle was looking at her with wide questioning green eyes. It was rare for her to be the one touching her so openly and now that she was Gabrielle seemed awestruck. Once that surprise wore off it faded to an adoration Xena only ever saw in the bard's eyes when she was opening up a new scroll. It stole her own breath away to think she cherished her just as much.
Gabrielle gently pulled on the corner of her hip in response and they were the closest they've dared to be, chest to chest now.
Her breath hitched and Gabrielle's eyes sparked with realization. But fear overwhelmed her. She didn't want to lose Gabrielle because of her own selfish desires.
She couldn't handle this.
"I need to check on Argo."
Gabrielle released her and she didn't dare steal a glance at her face.
You're a fool Xena. That was your chance to finally tell her. She thought to herself.
Gabrielle stayed by the fire, running a shaky hand through her hair as she watched a fleeing Xena.
She had felt an intense rush of desire hit her the moment Xena pressed into her. It was frightening and enticing all at once yet neither of them were ready for it. The fear in Xena's eyes must have mirrored in her own because the warrior princess was up in a heartbeat.
The next morning they were their old selves again. At least, they pretended to be. Gabrielle prepared breakfast, while Xena went for a small walk around camp with Argo. She was still unsure of how to move forward.
She loved Gabrielle. The blonde was her soulmate.
"Argo...what am I going to do?"she sighed petting his mane. He neighed and flicked his tail in response. She wished she could understand him.
"Xena?!"
Her heart fluttered in her chest.
"Look at me, I'm already in trouble."
She guided Argo back to camp, worrying about her feelings towards Gabrielle as she walked.
"I'm right here Gabrielle."
"Your food is getting cold."
"Thank you." She sat down beside her taking up the small plate of eggs.
"We'll head out within the hour."
"Okay."
She took a spoonful of the meal feeling very appreciative of all the times she cooked for her.
While she ate she noticed Gabrielle studying her out of the corner of her eye.
Her body's reaction to the realization was quick. A warmth spread throughout her and her pulse sped up. Why is it she acted this way now? It had never been this way before. She swallowed her latest spoonful and gathered the courage to look at her.
There was that look in her eyes again and her breath came a little harder upon seeing it.
"I wasn't sure if you'd grown sick of eggs by now." Gabrielle said, moving her eyes away.
"I don't mind them."
She felt like she was suffocating beside her.
"Today looks like it's going to be a beautiful day."
"Yes. It does."
Gabrielle played with the hem of her skirt, as though searching for something to say.
"If there's time, could you help me practice later?"
"Yes, we should have plenty of time. I'm in no rush to get to Thebes."
"Why not? I can't wait to take a nice warm bath…"
"Yes there's that but then there are the people that want me dead."
Gabrielle seemed to pale at that.
"A lot of my past centered in Thebes…most have not forgotten that."
"We don't have to go."
"We do. Our supplies are running low."
"But Xena if what you say is true why put yourself in danger we can go to another town?"
"I won't live in fear and we need supplies. Thebes is the closest."
Gabrielle sighed.
"You are stubborn like that."
"Stubborn? If I recall correctly you're the one that refused my multiple requests to leave me alone."
"And look where we are now because of that."
"Yes." she smiled fondly.
"Just promise me you'll behave in Thebes."
"Come now Gabrielle. I'm no fool."
An:Honestly just clearing out some of my old writing. May or may not continue this.