Hogwarts was an elite establishment of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and in the grounds of that magnificent school was the cottage of the caretaker. The caretaker was a brutal and rather scruffy fellow who had taken up the muggle pleasure of alcohol. The Headmistress, Hermione Granger-Weasley, was willing to accommodate the caretakers fits. His awkwardness around the school, his rage towards pupils and his delusions of continued grandeur. It was on the day that Dumbledore house (A 5th house had been established under the Headmastership of Harry Potter) played Hufflepuff at quidditch. A sport which the headmistress would have outlawed were it not for the caretakers insistence.

Two Hufflepuff players wandered past the caretakers cottage carrying their "Malfoy 800" broomsticks. The Malfoy broomstick dynasty was a vast empire, the original owner of the company had went to school at a time of Lord Voldemort's return, although he had often been linked to the forces of darkness, he had remained true to his good nature and now spent his wealth on various philanthropy. At Christmas day in 2040, Malfoy had even travelled to see the Caretaker who was in his sixtieth year. He passed the two young lads who seemed to mutter something about a crazy caretaker.

"Well, surely you would like something more than alcohol?"

"Damn it all Malfoy! I don't need anything from you. If you want to send me some Carslberg, Some Budweiser, Some Smirnoff and the like – feel free. But don't you dare lecture me. I am twice the wizard you will ever be."

"Look – there are potions that will stop you needing to consume so much alcohol. You really ought to..."

"Shut up Malfoy! Do you know who I am? I am the greatest Wizard that ever lived! I am the Boy who lived! I beat the lord of darkness....TWICE. Now how about a drink for an old friend?"

"Of course Potter." Said Malfoy and with a wave of his wand in came the crates of alcohol that sat in his carriage outside. "How are the kids?"

"All moved off to the continent Malfoy. All of them. None of them visit. None of them, since Ginny and I got divorced, it just hasn't been the same."

"Ginny is doing well. She runs Muggle papers you know as well as most of our own press." Said Malfoy eyeing up the large measure of alcohol that Harry was pouring into a damaged glass. "You can fix broken glass can't you Harry?"

"Yes."

"All of your cutlery is damaged and your glasses are broken."

"I don't need to drink out of a bloody fixed glass! We're not all posh sell outs with a broom up our arses Malfoy!" snapped Harry with a bitter resentment, the sort of resentment he felt when Headmistress Granger-Weasley would reprimand him for shouting at pupils. Particularly Dumbledore house Pupils. On one occasion, under the influence, he had wandered into the Dumbledore House Common Room and wrote "HARRY POTTER – GREATER THAN DUMBLEDORE" He had been consumed with jealousy since his removal from the position of Headmaster.

"Tell me H...Tell me Potter, how did your position as Headmaster get revoked? I didn't trust the papers."

"It was ten years ago Malfoy."

"I know Potter. I know. But, after all, you didn't have a drink habbit then."

"It was my divorce. Have you ever seen a divorce in these courts?"

"No."

"Dominated by women!"

"Really?"

"Yes! That bitch Ginny gets the House, the cave, the dog, the money, the book-rights, the shop, the candles, the wand... What did I get?"

"I hear she gave you a tenured professorship at the Institute of Muggle Studies."

"Well, my tenure was revoked."

"Why?"

"An accident."

"What? There was no reports in any of the press"

"I was drunk on duty one day, and I happened to do a 'magic trick' in front of the muggle press. No fewer than 800,000 spells were cast by the ministry to protect us. And the muggle Prime Minister was raging. Well, there was a clause in my tenure that any exposure to more than a hundred thousand muggles would have it revoked."

"At least Hermione is helping you out."

"Remember you would curse at her and call her mud blood?"

"Yes, but now, I sell 800 brooms a year to Hogwarts, A deal we called 800-800s"

"Well good for you Malfoy. IT seems everyone is doing well. Everybody except me, and who saved all your lives? Vodka-Whisky is a smashing drink." Said Harry drinking the mixture from a chipped pint glass.

"Potter let me help you before I go."

"Your going?"

"Yes, I have a conference in the United States. And with all the congestion it takes three minutes or so to get there these days. Let me tidy your home, One spell."

"Ok Malfoy. I have an interview with the heads of House tomorrow."

"Really? For what purpose? TIDEYOUS."

"To discuss that damn giant."

"What giant?"

"That giant that was brought into the woods a few months ago. I chained him up good."

"Being set free is he?"

"No – no... He wasn't fed."

"What?"

"I forgot to feed him. What with all my other work , I barely had time to take a drink. And when I was scheduled to feed him – I nipped in for a few drinks."

"Oh Potter..."

With this despairing remark, Drago Malfoy left his schoolmate in a spotless home with crates of various alcohols neatly piled up. With all his dishes washed, the glasses on his face and the ones which held his drinks, were fixed once more. Drago sighed as he closed the heavy metal door of the cottage, a metal door which also locked from the outside for the Caretakers own safety. In 16 hours, Harry Potter could lose yet another job.