Disclaimer: I don't own anything except plot and story!
This is my first story, so please enjoy!
Sasuke vs. Naruto: Badmouth!
Chapter One: Naruto's POV
On an early morning, Naruto Uzumaki (AKA. Dimwit, baka, dobe, etc.), couldn't sleep all night because he was still angry from what happened during his last mission.
Let's just say that he got a mission to get rid of robberies somewhere near the stone village, when he happened to bump into the all-familiar, non-emotional, Sasuke Uchiha.
The encounter itself was just like all others. They get insult each other, Naruto gets pissed off, and they fight violently until someone or two people saw them.
And we all know that one of the two people was Sakura.
Sasuke just gave them a "hn", a way of saying "You're annoying as always", and ran off to his hideout where Team Hebi were waiting for him.
That got Naruto so mad that he complained the whole time about how much of a coward Sasuke was for not finishing their fight…again.
Sakura got so annoyed that she punched the hell out of Naruto, in the guts.
She punched him so hard that Naruto ended up crashing into Tsunade's office.
Poor Naruto, he got punched in the head 26 times and was scowled by the terrifying fifth Hokage.
So since Naruto knew that he couldn't sleep anytime sooner, he got dressed and went for a walk to the park.
When he got there, he sat down on one of the benches and looked up into the morning sky, thinking about what to do now.
Sakura was just passing by when she saw Naruto looking up to the sky and sitting on a bench.
She decided to go on and check on him.
As she was walking to him, she said cheerfully,"Hey Naruto, how are you?"
Naruto turned his head to look at her, in a very dead-looking way. " . .HIM" he said in a very dangerous matter.
Sakura looked at him, confused that she'd never seen him like this in her entire life.
"Going to kill who?" she asked with an eyebrow raised.
"SASUKE! WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE?!" Naruto said with frustration and anger.
Sakura was not surprised since Naruto and Sasuke had always wanted to kill one another.
'What can I do to help Naruto calm down?' Sakura thought, while also thinking about ways to let her teammate feel relief from his stress.
"How about telling me what you're thinking about to calm you down?" Sakura suggested.
"WHAT?! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING ABOUT?!" Naruto screeched as he looked at her as if she was insane as him not eating ramen for the rest of his life.
Sakura sighed; annoyed that Naruto still hasn't changed from acting like a four year old. Sometimes she wished she could teach Naruto a lesson on how to listen to what people are saying.
"Yes Naruto, that's exactly what I said. Tell me now or I'm leaving!" Sakura said with a soon-to-be-bored tone.
"Since you put it like that, I'll tell you what I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about an icicle named Sasuke. This icicle hadn't been melting for ages. He left this village just so he can become stronger with this disgusting snake as his mentor. He got his revenge on his better-than-him-older-brother and he's still against Konoha! He looks like a bastard with no life! Also his hair looks like a duck-butt, for god's sake! His face is attractive, yet very annoying to look at!" Naruto said all with his fury that he held in towards Sasuke.
Sakura sweat-dropped, 'Talk about bad-mouthing one of your close friends who's now a distant enemy' she thought as Naruto blabbered on.
"I mean, c'mon man! How can girls even like him!? He's a bastard who's so stuck up that he think that he's the best of the best when he's 100% not likely! I bet that his children will be just like him! OH NO!" exclaimed Naruto.
"What's wrong, Naruto?" Sakura asked with a hint of worry.
"That means that I have to deal more Sasukes! WWWWAAAAAA!" cried Naruto.
Sakura couldn't believe that the hero of Konoha that was right in front of her was the world's biggest idiot.
"Oh, come on Naruto, he was planning to restore his bad-ass clan in the first place anyway. It's not like he's going to die without having at least one child to continue his legacy. Besides, I want to see who's the girl Sasuke's going to choose as the mother as his child." Sakura said sweetly, but she was really cracking her knuckles while thinking about ways to beat the crap out of both of them if that ever happened.
Naruto was still terrified of the image of more mini Sasukes calling him "Uncle Dobe".
Yet at the same time, they were both thinking that it's almost impossible for Sasuke to even get a wife. I mean, he doesn't even have the right social skills to get a girlfriend.
Not that he deserves to have a girlfriend or boyfriend at all.
Just then, Kakashi appeared from a cloud of smoke.
"Yo, what's up people?" he greeted, looking up from reading his book.
"SASUKE, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENING!" yelled out Sakura and Naruto, so loud that you can hear them for Suna.
Meanwhile in Suna, Gaara looked up from his work in confusion and asked, "What was that?"
Back in Konoha, Kakashi was surprised to see that he'd never seen Sakura so possessive and Naruto so terrified.
But oh well, they've been tons of times crazier as it was, so he put that aside.
"Mind explaining what do you two mean since Sasuke's not here" Kakashi stated as he was imagining Sasuke as his beloved ex-student, who he now think of him as an annoying avenger.
Sakura was still cracking her knuckles and Naruto was still imagining him being an uncle of annoying little brats who totally resembles their father.
"Oh, we were talking how much of a bastard and coward Sasuke is for not coming back to Konoha to admit his actions." Sakura implied in a very impolitely way.
"Yeah, right! And unfortunately, he's going to have children who's going to call me 'Uncle Dobe'" cried Naruto with not-so-innocent tears.
Kakashi knew his students when they're mad, and this is just one of those times. He also knew that Sasuke was planning on restoring his one hell of a clan.
But in Kakashi's version of thinking about it, was in a more M-rated image.
"I don't see anything wrong with Sasuke restoring his clan; it's his pride of the Uchiha." Kakashi stated as a fact that he respected in whatever Sasuke planned to do in his clan businesses.
Naruto finally calmed down and looked at Kakashi with an unreadable expression.
Kakashi looked back in worry. "What is it, Naruto?" he asked.
Naruto then smirked. "Time to treat me ramen, Kakashi-sensei!" he said in excitement.
Kakashi frowned in disappointment and shame for forgetting that bet he did with Naruto.
The day before they had the mission, he and Naruto betted on that if they see Sasuke, Kakashi would have to treat Naruto ramen for a month.
Too bad for Kakashi, he lost a bet for the first time in his life.
He would always win at the rate of bets that he did with Gai.
Kakashi sighed, "Fine, let's go" and then he and Naruto left.
Sakura watched them leave, and looked at her watch,
"OH MY GOSH! I'M LATE FOR WORK!" and off Sakura ran.
THE END!
I know that I said some bad things about Sasuke, but don't that it too deeply, I LOVE HIM TOO YA KNOW!
I might consider making a ItachixDeidara fluff one-shot.
Also, I'll try to the one with Sasuke's POV as soon as I can!
Until then, SEE YA!