This isn't proofread. Enjoy? I'm sorry in advance.
Chapter One and Only
"Echizen."
"Bucho."
The two boys stared at each other, as if not feeling awkward in the slightest. Seven others stood off to the side, most trying to stifle laughter with varying degrees of success.
One honey haired boy was spared a glance. "So he got you too."
The boy was spared another glance. "Unfortunately, yes. Although two idiots" the word was said with contempt and said two idiots shared a guilty look, "helped him."
"Aa." Although neither Tezuka's posture, nor tone, had changed, the two idiots felt shivers run down their spines. "Kikumaru, Momoshiro. Sixty laps. Each." The two slumped, animated tears running down their faces, A soft chuckle came from beside the two boys and Tezuka turned his gaze onto Fuji. "And Fuji, seventy laps." Another quiet chuckle from the ever-smiling boy. "Eighty." This time there was no sound, although the smile stayed on Fuji's face.
"Bucho, it's starting."
The taller boy didn't even look at the super rookie of his team, turning to the door instead. "Yudan sezu ni ikou." A few seconds of silence followed this statement. "Let's go."
"Wait, they're actually going to go?!"
"Fsh. Obviously, Momoshiri. They're not going to back down from any challenge... unlike you, wimp."
"Huuuh? You insulting me, Mamushi?!"
"No duh I am, peach-butt! Anyone with ears would be able to tell - not that a peach like you has any!"
"You did it again?! That's it! You wanna go, bandana-baka?!"
"You bet I do, spiky-head aho!"
The two rivals were up in each other's faces in a few seconds, hands grabbing at collars, and snarls forming on faces.
And then, out of nowhere - "You know, if you two get any closer than that, you're going to end up kissing." In an instant, the two second years were thirty meters apart, disgusted and fearful eyes on Fuji. Their senpai's smile widened by a fraction of a millimetre. "Well then, we better get going. That is, unless you two would like to continue? I wouldn't mind the show." A suggestive smile was offered.
"NO!" The two rivals shouted in sync, and Fuji pretended to sigh, although his smile didn't fade.
"Then unless you want to be left behind...?" Which was when the two realized the rest of their team was no longer there. They were stuck with that idiot rival of theirs and a certain smiling genius who seemed to be in a good mood. This could not go well.
In front of his underclassmen, Fuji's smile widened again. Oh, this would go extremely well.
The first thing Momoshiro did when he found his teem again was fall at Tezuka's feet, begging to never be left alone with Fuji again, Kaidoh uncharacteristically cowering in a corner with his arms around his knees and wide fear-filled eyes fixed on said genius.
The ever-worried mother hen immediately got to checking Momoshiro and Kaidoh's temperature and everything else he could possible think to check. Nothing seemed to be wrong. "Momo? Momo, what's wrong?"
To which he got the brilliant answer of "Let me kiss Kaidoh-kun. Please! No more Fuji-senpai. I wanna kiss Kaidoh!"
"Fuji? What did you do to them?"
Still standing in the doorway, all Fuji did was tilt his angelic, smiling head to one side, sending shivers down every - sans Tezuka - regular's back. Kaidoh, in one corner of the room, let out a small shriek before folding into himself even more.
"Fujiko's scary..." Kaidoh started to cry.
When, after forty minutes, the two second years were ready to take on the world again, it was almost time for the pageant to start. The two walked into Tezuka - and three others' - changing room to the sight of their tall brunette captain looking the same as he ever did. But with a badly placed wig, And some badly used make up.
On the side, Kawamura, Oishi, and Kikumaru seemed to be trying - and failing - to make conversation with their bucho and a pretty girl half Texuka's size hat sat beside him. Inui was taking notes, and Fuji... Fuji, thankfully, was nowhere to be seen.
"Hey guys!" Momoshiro made his way over to the five regulars, Kaidoh following behind him silently. "Did you just leave Echizen alone?"
From behind him - "Or alone with F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-"
"Don't force yourself. Or with him? That's not done, it's just not."
A few odd looks were turned to the two, although Kawamura was the one to reply. "He's right here, guys."
"Where? And who's this pretty little girl here? My name is Momoshiro, by the way." He winked at the girl. "You can call me Momo." Her glare turned angry."
"Fsh. K-K-K-K-K-K-K-"
"Kaidoh." Momoshiro to the rescue.
"Seriously, though, guys. What did Fujiko even do to you guys?"
Kaidoh shrieked at the name and hid behind Momoshiro, and Oishi rounded on Kikumaru, concerned. "Eiji!"
"Oh! Uh, I meant - O'chibi!" Kaidoh peeked at Kikumaru over Momoshiro's shoulder. "He's right here guys! See, I told you they wouldn't recognize him!"
"Of course not. I mean, Echizen-chan is just so cute!" Fuji ad - Fuji?! Kaidoh was behind Momoshiro in half a second again, and, although Momoshiro couldn't stop himself from taking a step back, he found himself focusing more on the words than who had said them. His eyes found their way back to the girl - no - his underclassman's face.
There was no way.
There was just no way.
Who knew Echizen could be this cute as a girl?
"The beauty, the elegance! Ladies and gentlemen, let me present to you the one and only - Tezuka Kunimitsu!" A stoic faced brunette walked through the fluttering curtains, only half a step away from outright glaring at the crowd.
In the audience, someone laughed, his friends trying to stop themselves from doing the same. Most failed. Seeing their captain in a wig could do that to one. Especially when said captin was taking part in a beauty pageant, and when he was obviously male.
"... Aren't you male?"
The tall boy took less than a second to answer. "Yes."
"Well then..."
"So now - please put your hands together for the cute and the cold - and the hopefully female - Echizen Ryoma!" There was nothing. "Echizen Ryoma?" This time, a girl stumbled out onto the stage. A girl with long, curly hair and wide eyes that would have made her look innocent if not for the fact that she was glaring at the announcer like she wanted him dead.
Once again, a certain seven people tried to contain their laughter, some succeeding more than others. One very male Tezuka sat next to them, still stoic faced as he stared at the girl on stage, arms crossed.
No one noticed Fuji taking out his camera to take a few pictures.
"Ladies and gentlemen - the great even you've all been waiting for - the finals! Are you ready?" A grand total of two people cheered. One of which was Kikumaru.
"I can't hear you!" This time Kikumaru forced Oishi and Momoshiro to cheer with him.
"Then, let me introduce to you - the stunning Echizen Ryoma," Oishi and Momoshiro cheered of their own accord "aand - the elegant Yukimura Seichi!" And then as an afterthought - "Both of which have the same name as two male tennis players..."
At this, both the girls made their way on staage, and the regulars finally got a god look at the 'surprise dress' FUji had forced Echizen into.
A wedding dress. A wedding dress.
Tezuka nodded approvingly. "Echizen. Win."
No one even tried to stop the laughing this time.
When, a week later, Horio would ask Ryoma how he had managed to buy some nicer but quite expensive training equipment for the club, Ryoma would look away so Horio wouldn't see the glare in his eyes.
Momoshiro would come up behind the two and sling an arm around Ryoma's shoulder, leaning down to Horio's level. "Yukimura's dress ripped in all the right places."
Ryoma, of course, would hear and turn to glare at his so called best friend before telling Horio "it was just an accident."
Behind the two, from where he was torturing Kaidoh, Fuji would point to Momoshiro and smile at Horio.
Horio, for once, would have no idea what to say.
And, in a certain place somewhere in Japan, one Yukimura Seichi would be on the computer, signing up for another beauty pageant.
Fin.
Yeah... I have no idea - sorry.
But
For those who watch english dub or whatnot
- senpai (sempai?) = used when addressing 'upperclassmen'
- Yudan sezu ni ikou = Tezuka's catchphrase (Don't let your guard down... or something) It just sounds cooler in Japanese
And I'm pretty sure that's it.
Review if you enjoyed? :)
~ Crack