Authors note:
I want this to be sort of ambiguous, so I'm not going to tell you whose point of view this chapter is in. I found this from a while ago, and I never uploaded it because I was scared of what people would think of it. This was actually only a part of a fanfic I wrote about Rachel's suicide, but I decided I only wanted to upload the suicide note. I think it is better that way. I completely forgot about it, but I decided to finish it and upload it. All of the following chapters are going to be Rachel's suicide notes addressed to individual people. They're going to be short. Thanks for reading (:
Oh, and please review to tell me if you liked this. I might do other fanfics this way if people actually like this.
"Dear Diary,
'Hey manhands, have you heard from your mom yet? Oh wait, she adopted my baby, and doesn't even want you anymore'-Quinn Fabray. That was what was said to me on my way to third block. Also, I had two refreshing red slushie facials in the morning in which everybody laughed at me. Except Finn. He actually told Karofsky to back off. So thank you, Finn (for when you see this if my suicide goes according to plan)...Anyway, I just wanted to say that I really don't see the point in living anymore. It's not like I want attention; I just can't do this anymore.I'm worthless. People only like me because of my voice, which I have been told is still "really awful," which hurts more than calling me short. Or fat. Or annoying. Yes, those hurt. But my voice, that's all I have. Quinn, Santana and Brittany have cheerleading. Finn, Puck, and Matt have football. Kurt has his fashion sense, and Tina has her stutter (which is fake, by the way. She used to be friends with me. At least I thought she was). All of the kids at our school have something that they do more than anything else. I have my voice. And when I was told this past month, although I haven't sung a solo for two months, (yes I have been counting, and yes, nobody noticed), the glee club has still managed to take that away from me. Without my voice, I'm just an abrasive, conceited, big-nosed, fat, and annoying Jewish girl, who would be better off dead. Which is why I am doing what I am about to do. I mean, I gave it two days, but nobody noticed my change in behavior but Finn. And that's just not enough for me to want to stay here. I'm so sorry. I was cut free for 13 days. Woo hoo! Except for tonight. Tonight, I am going to kill myself. I've kinda been waiting to do this for a while, but now I feel like I need to just go for it. I hope people will see that words actually hurt. I tried to convince myself that I didn't need to do this, but I just really want to. I have to. I just can't deal with this anymore. I'm done.
Love, Rachel Barbra Berry
When I shut her diary, I can feel the tears in the corner of my eye. I hate how she felt this bad about herself. I open up the sheets of paper. There are about two stappled together. Rachel's handwriting definitely looks messier, and shaky. I don't know. It's not in a straight line either. It's not the "Rachel" I remember. She used to have this enchanted cursive. It was hard for me to read, but I still liked it.
Dear everyone,
By the time you find this, hopefully, I will be dead. I just wanted to say that killing myself is what is best for me, and apparently for all of you all too. I wrote a message to everybody that has made an impact in my life, both positive and negative. These are just my true feelings. I just wanted to let everybody know what I actually think of you, partly in case you were wondering, but also because I just needed to write this all down. Yes, this is my suicide note, and I know that most likely Finn or Dad and Daddy are going to be the ones to find this, so can you make sure you read this and let the people I mentioned in here read this too? Thank you.