For now
The halls of my new school seemed so endlessly dead. I knew I had the potential to be exactly what I wanted, I could rule the school like I used to do at McKinley. I could be the queen. Nobody here knew that I was a lesbian or that I was in glee club or that I was totally miserable. They didn't know the want I felt when I saw a face on the cover of a CD, they didn't know how badly I wanted my name seen on one of those.
They knew nothing. But yet, here I was walking down the halls without the same pride as I used to, remembering, savoring the last conversations I had had with the girl I loved. She was my everything. I remember walking down the halls of McKinley, my head held high and my best smirk curling my lips as people parted to make way for me. Forever by my side, linked to me physically by my pinky in hers, was Brittany.
Then came the commercial and I sunk to the bottom of the pyramid, but still none of it mattered. I had her by my side, and she was no longer just my best friend and hook-up. She was my girlfriend. Saying the word, even thinking about it made my stomach summersault. I felt my otherwise pursed lips curl upwards, her face, her smile, her glistening eyes and golden hair appearing before me. I felt myself blush as her voice whispered sweet nothings in my ear, like she had done so many times, waking me up with the sound of her voice, lulling me to sleep with it, directing my every movement with the bare presence of her.
But she was still in Lima. I had failed her. And this was my punishment. The blush still tintin my cheeks I felt my smile fade and my eyes mist up as I glided my left hand under my right and linked the pinkies; my punishment for having failed her, for leaving her. I'd told Mercedes once that I'd never leave Britt, never, not even switch Glee clubs without her. I looked down at the cover for my computer. It was still covered in words that Britt and I had scribbled a few days before departure. I just missed her so much and I'd frequently considered just going home. College was still here next year. But she'd want me to keep going; she'd want me to make something of myself. She'd hate herself for having made me wait for her.
"Hey Lopez, nice Dino" one of the guys, another freshman I believe, called at me. I tightened the grip around my pinkies. How dared he. Britt had given me that when she gave me the corsage at our senior prom. I didn't care if I was eighteen and had a keychain with a plush dinosaur. It was one of my most prized possessions that Britt had given me. She'd also given me my other keychain; a big silver B. She'd given it to me back in 2nd grade, the year before we got our bracelets. I hated my coach. She was nice, but she'd never let me wear the bracelet, worrying about it hurting me if I fell. So for time being it rested under my pillow, keeping the nightmares away. The third possession which I always carried with me was a simple picture taken in sophomore year. I had gotten it from Kurt at the start of senior year and it had hung in my locker ever since. Britt and I were smiling like nothing could ever hurt us. Mom had given me a choice, where to go. I chose Brittany, any day, in a heartbeat I'd always choose her. So if me going here and making something of myself was what she wanted, then I would. I'd do it for her, so that one day, I could provide for her, like any man could.
I'll have to hold my own pinky for now.