Suspended
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon doesn't belong to me unfortunately.
Been a while since my last story, but hoping this one will live up to 'Happiness'' greatness. Please enjoy.
Focus…focus…focus on…something other than that…please…
Shimmering beads of salty water, flickering as they rolled down the side of my face, silently encouraged they're numbers to increase, the roaring fire before my rigid body lashed out at me, singeing my gi, hissing at me for my lack of concentration. Groaning I let my tired body collapse backwards onto the tatami so I could stare up at the wooden ceiling and think…
But thinking only brought me more pain, more emotions and made me hollower deep inside. Inside my cold exterior my barely beating heart still hammered on, driving all the blood to the appropriate places within this shell I call my body. I exhaled loudly, stretching out fully on the ground, part of my body illuminated by the great fire next to me but cast the other side into darkness. The darkness within is never seen by anyone; the darkness that I cannot allow to seep into the rest of my body, polluting myself even further. Poisoning my thoughts…why? Why do I have to keep thinking this way? Why do you torture me so?
You. It's always you. Everything always comes back to you. My source of happiness, my source of inner tumult. Your thick cape of blonde hair, your mischievous smile, your perfect body that brought me so much pleasure and happiness but now you just seem to be a distant figure in my imagination even though your around me almost everyday.
Shuffling feet and muffled voices became aware to my ears and I quickly thrust my unusually heavy body back into the lotus position as the door opposite me opened gently and the Goddess of Love and Pain stuck her head in and softly called my name.
"Rei-chaan," Her angelic voice sang to me, I shuddered letting the voice ripple through my body, flaring up old memories of pleasure and slightly losing myself in my body's sudden titillation from the two words.
"Rei-chan," it sounded closer to me now, somewhere behind me? I was about to open my eyes as two finely toned arms sneakily entwined themselves under my chest and her soft breasts pushed into my back as her chin rested on my sensitive neck. I restraint a faint hiss as pulsations of pleasure coursed painfully through me as my nose breathed in her heavenly scent.
"Minako…" I growled out as she held me, she was always in the habit of doing this to me, even though…even though we aren't together anymore. Reality stung at my heart and I pushed her off of me, standing up to put some distance between us. I noticed her crystal blues eyes flashed painfully at me but it vanished, her smile was replaced as she too stood up and spoke sweetly,
"Everyone's here Rei-chan come on," She led the way into my sitting room and I recognised who else had accompanied the ever-flighty Minako to my house.
"Hey Rei-chan," the group chorused as we entered the room, I smirked at them shaking my head as I saw each of them had made themselves comfortable already,
"Hey guys, comfy?" I aimed the question at Makoto who was lying against the wall with Ami leaning on her shoulder, a faint pink blush tinted Ami's complexion as she nodded bashfully before a laughing Makoto had hugged her, increasing the shy girls' blush vividly.
"Yeah I'm alright Rei," Makoto winked at me cheekily, before teasing the poor blue haired girl in her strong arms.
Shaking my head I plonked myself down next to the happy couple and picked up an abandoned manga scanning lazily through it before Usagi's voice blurted out,
"So Mina-chan are you still coming with me and Mamorou tomorrow on a double date?" I froze; my face still buried in the manga and awaited Minako's obvious response to the painfully innocent question,
"Of course Usagi! Me and Hero will meet you at the arcade tomorrow," Minako replied easily not bothered by the lack of movement from me or by the concerned looks I was receiving from Ami and Makoto.
"Great! I can't wait it'll be so fun and I finally get to meet Hero!" Usagi replied enthusiastically but I had tuned them out, more like I was trying too. Minako had Hero I reasoned grudgingly to myself…she didn't need me now anymore. I visibly sank further into the floor, refusing to let the manga to drop from my face.
Predictably, my behaviour hadn't affected the blondes' conversation about their planned double date tomorrow but who was I to stop their fun? I was only one person and it never mattered what I felt like to anyone anymore, well no that was wrong, the person I wanted to pay attention to me did not notice at all.
"So how long have you and Hero been going out together?" Usagi suddenly asked, interrupting the flow of the conversation.
"Um…Let's see we started on the 30th last month so we're about a month and two weeks," Minako calculated sighing wistfully as her eyes glazed over, suggesting she was thinking of the times they had spend time together.
"Wow!" Usagi exclaimed gleefully, "You must be really happy with him then."
Tears pricked at my amethyst eyes but this was natural for me, the pesky water droplets would not spill because once they did I knew they'd never stop. So now I don't cry anymore, not like I did before anyway…everyone par Makoto believed that. Ami was a bit sceptical but didn't push the matter any further as she too knew what it was like to bottle up your feelings from the rest of the world but she left it up to the powerful Makoto to get through to me if I ever needed anything. However, recently, I feel no one can help me because no one is going through or has gone through what I'm experiencing.
Being the oldest of the group always made me the rock, the stable one. The one everyone else could turn to if they faced anything problems because it is likely I too have faced similar or greater obstacles so I could part with precious knowledge and allow them the access to answers that I had previously struggled for myself and this time would be no different…
My ponderings must have taken up more time than I had realised as the rustling of coats and bags being packed snapped me to my surroundings.
"Sorry Rei got to go Hero is meeting me tonight," Minako said walking over to me and opening her arms out, apparently looking for a hug, I stiffly returned it and muttered a quiet "Ok be careful," as I watched her blonde hair billow in her wake as she ran down the steps to the streets below. I turned and saw the rest of the group all ready to go but at a more casual pace.
"Have fun tomorrow Usagi on…on your date," I stumbled over my words but the second blonde just grinned and hugged me before walking out of the house into the slightly darkening night.
A hand was placed on my shoulder and I knew it to be Makoto's
"Rei…" She started to say, however, I cut her off.
"I'm ok Mako-chan don't worry," I turned to face her and flashed her a smile as justification for my well being.
She sighed heavily looking at me through her lose strands of brunette hair, "You always say that Rei." With that Makoto and Ami excused themselves from my residence and disappeared down the stairs, out of sight and out of existence.
"Yeah I know…"
First chapter of Suspended there for you, please read and review; I appreciate any kind of feed back, good or bad. Thanks – Dark Shadows 01