LOOKING BACK

PAIRING: H/B

FANDOM: BIRDS OF PREY

COMMENTS: THANKS TO MY ALWAYS SUPPORTIVE AND COOL EDITOR NIGHTSTALKER, SHE ALAYS HELPS ME A LOT WITH IDEA AND COMMENTS LIKE "HEY THIS SUCKS, WRITE IT AGAIN." FEEDBACK WELCOME

The blonde walked through the streets of New Gotham, admiring the tall, incredible buildings. It was the first time she had been there. It was very different from the place where she'd grown up. People walked by, in a hurry. Some had briefcases, papers bags or coats in their hands. It was a sunny day.

She'd taken that bus, jumping into an adventure with no script, no story line and no idea as to where it would end. She stopped on a corner and took out a paper, unfolding it. She saw a man selling newspapers a few steps away from her and she walked toward him. She asked about the address on the paper.

He said she was close, just a few blocks ahead, and the girl kept walking. Soon, she was in front of one of the most elegant and luxurious buildings in the city, the Wayne Building. Only the Clocktower was bigger.

She had seen her image many times in the social pages and on the financial pages of national newspapers. She knew she would find her here. She smiled, feeling excited. Finally, finally she could meet her in person.

A black, noisy motorcycle stopped in front of the building. Wow, that was a cool bike. A young woman dressed in black jumped down. She removed her helmet and a doorman walked toward her.

"Hey, John," she greeted the man.

"Good day, Mrs. Kyle."

The woman was thin, young and brunette. The teenager recognized her immediately. Yes, it was the same girl she had seen in her dreams. What was she doing there? Was it possible that they were connected?

"Where is Barbara?" the dark haired woman asked.

"In the Diamond room, everything is about to start."

"I hate these events, I don't understand why Barbara loves them," she said brushing her hair with her hands and walking inside the building.

"Have a good day."

"Thanks, keep an eye on my bike."

The blonde noticed the doorman was distracted as he took the helmet to a check room and she took the opportunity to step inside the building. It was huge inside, the lobby was enormous. She tried to find the brunette, where had she gone? She noticed her waving at some other employees and was stepping inside an elevator. Her eyes found an electronic board to her left.

Foundation Event – Diamond room – Floor 25.

She hurried to the next elevator and pressed button for the twenty-fifth floor.

She arrived in an elegant room filled with tables and many people. It seemed that this was a big event. Her eyes found the brunette walking between the tables towards the front of the room.

"Your invitation, madam?" a man asked.

"I came with Mrs. Kyle," she hurried to say, pointing at the woman. Maybe it would work. "She told me I can wait for her until the event is over, you know, the speech and all those things…"

"Oh…" the man said. "Do you want me to take you to her table?"

"No, no… I told her I will wait for her here."

"I can give you a seat at one of the back tables."

"Yes, thanks."

Wearing tight, black leather pants and a dark jacket with heavy bike boots, Helena Kyle walked inside the ballroom. She was a beautiful young woman, well known in the most popular and exclusive night clubs of the city and for helping Barbara Gordon, the head of the Wayne Foundation, in her charity events to support kids.

Her mother, Selina Kyle, had once been involved romantically with the owner of the foundation, Bruce Wayne. Selina Kyle had died years ago, murdered by an unknown criminal. Since then, Barbara Gordon had taken Helena under her wing.

Many gossip newspapers and magazines still speculated about whether or not she was the daughter of Bruce Wayne. That pissed off the dark haired woman who, to avoid any kind of comments or more gossip, had refused to receive money or accept a job from the foundation or any of Wayne's corporations. She worked as a bartender at the Dark Horse Bar.

For the same reason, she hated public events like this one, but she liked to support Barbara in her effort to help children around the world.

She found Barbara standing close to the podium, checking some notes. She stopped in her tracks and looked at her. Her jaw dropped. Wow, she was simply stunning in that tight dress. She shook her head, damn, Barbara was the only woman that always made her open her mouth, she just simply found her more beautiful every day.

She looked at herself. Well, she didn't look so bad either. Grinning, she walked toward her former guardian.

Barbara noticed Helena walking toward her. She smiled. She had taken care of the girl since she was a kid and she had found her a good friend, a confident, and a partner in her crime fighting activities. Barbara Gordon was once Batman's protégée, Batgirl.

She was caught in the crossfire of the war between Batman and Joker and she made the decision to fight crime a different way, as master of the cyber realms and a mentor and trainer to heroes.

When Helena's mother died, she'd taken her in and trained her. Together, they fought at night as a team, as the Birds of Prey. By day, she was in charge of the Wayne Foundation.

She had known Helena's mother as a criminal, but when Selina Kyle had quit her wild life; she and Barbara had become good friends. She had learned so much from the other woman, about criminals and about life. She had also taught her to be open minded about her attraction to other women.

She and Helena had created a strong bond after Selina's death, they had come to know and respect each other as people and both kept their hearts closed to the world, except to each other. They shared secrets, thoughts… and when they started their journey as New Gotham's protectors, the bond was even greater.

They never shared affectionate words but, with certain actions and glances, they always showed how important they were to each other. They could say a thousand words with just one look. It was for that reason that they were as extraordinary partners as they were crime fighters.

Barbara enjoyed the company of her young friend, she enjoyed sharing long talks with the brunette. She was intelligent and with an agile mind; a real challenge to her. Helena could be grumpy and rude, but she also had her good moments where she was fun and charming, Helena was enigmatic, a woman of incredible contrasts. She was a sexy woman that practiced flirting as a sport, a lethal weapon that could easily kill with her hands, and big child that loved to watch cartoons and eat pop tarts.

"Hi," Helena greeted.

"Finally," Barbara mumbled, writing something on a paper, "I was wondering where you were."

"Nice to see you too," Helena said, smiling and looking around. The place was full.

The redhead eyed her. Helena was wearing leather again, she loved it. And, well, she looked fantastic in it.

Helena noticed it and winked at her. "Am I gorgeous?"

Barbara listed an eyebrow. "A black leather jacket? Do you think that is proper attire for an important meal?"

"Well," Helena said, waving her hand to some people seated a few tables away from them. "I think it's cool and, by the way, some men are looking at me, I think they believe I look gorgeous."

"Well, I hope it looks cool in the pictures when you give the speech."

"I don't give speeches. I'm just the fashion accessory for your events. You are the business side and you do the speech thing. So, do you think am I breathtaking today?"

"You are always breathtaking." Barbara smiled as she wrote some notes on the papers in front of her.

Helena felt proud of herself and leaned close to the older woman's ear "Good, so… may I propose to you now?" She loved playing the flirting game, knowing she didn't have any hope with the redhead.

"Of course not."

"Why not?"

"You will break a heart tonight, I don't want be responsible." Barbara gave her some papers.

"Me?"

"Yes." Barbara pointed to a table with the pen in her hand. "At our table."

Helena winced, the guy that flirted with Barbara every time he could was at their table, he was an asshole.

"He is after you, not me."

"Yes, and you will break my heart if you don't sit with me. I don't want to sit with him alone."

"Come on, it's not so bad. He is cute," Helena said, amused.

"Sleeping or unconscious, maybe."

"How could you invite that guy to our table? Just because he is a millionaire?" the brunette asked.

"Gazillionaire. Your detective instinct is working well." Barbara smiled. "Remember to be nice, polite and I promise to lend you my red leather jacket."

"And what about marrying me?"

"Let me think about it." The redhead lifted her eyebrow.

"How much did you charge per plate this time?"

"Five thousand dollars," Barbara patted her shoulder, "and he paid fifteen to have a seat close to me. So be nice, please."

"Wow." Helena opened her eyes wide. "Your ass is worth a lot of money, but for me I suppose it's free."

"It's not my ass, it's just a meal. Now go and sit. I must start the event."

"All right, all right," Helena said, rolling her eyes. Well, it seemed it was going to be one of those days. "Just finish all this quickly."

The brunette sighed and turned toward her table where the man waved at her. She gave him a forced smile.

"Hel?" Barbara said.

"Yes?" Helena sighed and turned to see her.

"You are right," Barbara winked to her knowing her big ego, "you look gorgeous."

A big smile spread over the brunette's face. Feeling three feet taller, she walked toward the table.

After a few hours, Helena felt totally, completely, and incredibly bored… and pissed off. That man insisted on flirting with Barbara. She said she didn't like him, but she seemed be having a good time with him.

The thought of them having a romance made her annoyed and uncomfortable. She thought she had earned enough points now so that Barbara would lend her the red jacket and maybe accept her proposal.

She had played this game with Barbara for long years. The redhead was amused with it and she, well… she could dream that maybe someday Barbara would say yes.

But what chance would she have? He was handsome, tall, a gazillionaire, charming… well, she had to admit, he was charming and Barbara was young, popular, damn beautiful and terribly funny. Many gossip newspapers talked about them having a romance, but Barbara had always denied it.

But now it seemed she was flirting with him, too.

He was moving very close to the redhead whispering something. Helena watched him, it was so obvious he was going to wrap his arm around her back. Old trick.

He suddenly moved his arm around her back and said something to her in her ear. Helena knew her pupils had snapped to gold in anger, for an instant.

He moved back to his seat with his arm still behind the redhead's back.

She leaned toward the redhead and whispered in her ear: "Time to go."

"Oh, yes, it's late," Barbara said, looking at her watch.

The brunette stood up and looked around nervously, waiting Barbara to say goodbye to the man. The redhead stood up after a few seconds and walked toward the exit.

"This guy flirting with you has tested my patience enough." Helena mumbled. "You owe me a date now."

"I promised to lend you my red jacket. We never negotiated a date. And he was flirting with me, not with you."

"Well, I deserve it. I was a good girl today. Want a ride?"

"No, thanks, I brought my car and, besides… you drive like a maniac." Barbara picked up her papers from the table.

"You are jealous of my skills." Helena narrowed her eyes.

"I'm much better than you."

"Friday? Old Gotham Road? The loser buys dinner?"

Barbara straightened and looked at her. "Are you sure?"

Helena smirked "Nine o'clock?"`

"Deal." Barbara pointed at her with her index finger. "I'll want to go to that new French restaurant."

"Ohh… Confident."

"Statistics."

"Statistics?"

"I have kicked your ass in the last four bike races."

"Beginners luck." Helena followed Barbara, who laughed loudly.

Many people stood up to shake their hands. She didn't like the popularity thing. That was better left to Barbara, but she couldn't avoid this. They said goodbye to the people at the table and walked toward the exit.

"I did a great job," Helena said to Barbara as she smiled to an old man. "I convinced him to give you a ton of money to those orphanages in Africa. Now you have to lend me your jacket and your Armani shoes."

"The black ones?" Barbara smiled at a woman and kissed her on her cheek. "Thanks for coming."

"Yep." Helena wondered where all these people had come from. She thought it would be a fast exit and now it seemed it would take a bit longer.

"No way." Barbara waved her hand to a familiar person a few tables away.

"Two million…" Helena sang.

Green eyes turned to look at the brunette in surprise. "You're kidding."

"Nope." The girl smiled at the woman shaking her hand. "When you went to the restroom, I told him how worried you are for those kids and he said he would help. He will send you the check tomorrow. Now, it's the Armani shoes or the date."

"All right, the Armani shoes." the redhead smiled, "but just one night."

"I must be losing my charm."

"Why?"

"You'd rather give me the Armani shoes than go out with me."

"Mmmm.." Barbara murmured noncommittally.

The blonde girl watched them go. She walked between the people, trying to follow them, but it was a bit difficult, both women walked inside the elevator and when she reached it, the doors had closed. She waited impatiently for the next one to arrive.

When she arrived downstairs and be on the lobby both women had gone. She moved her head, annoyed. Well, at least she knew where she could find them; just she needed to wait a bit longer.

Barbara brushed her hair carefully. She moved her fingers through it, arranging it, and moved back, looking her image on the mirror. Not bad. She adjusted her dress. It fit perfectly on her body. She winked at her image in the mirror. Helena would give her the approval on her dress, she had good taste in women and fashion. She walked outside the bedroom and walked toward the living room, where she knew she would find Helena sprawled on the couch, surfing through the channels.

She stood up at the main entrance of the living room. She was right, Helena was on the couch with an obscenely large bag of popcorn bag between her legs, watching the big screen.

She coughed to get her attention.

The brunette, who had opened her mouth to eat a handful of popcorn, arrested her movement and fixed her gaze on the redhead.

"Wow…" she mumbled. She was stunning.

"Good," Barbara smiled, turning and resting her hands on her waist. Helena's face was a clear sign that she looked good. "I suppose you approve."

The brunette kept still, staring at her and nodded.

"Close your mouth," Barbara said amused, walking toward her and sitting at her side. Helena was incorrigible, she couldn't hide her admiration and fascination for women. "I trust your good judgment, I want to look especially good tonight."

Helena narrowed her eyes. "Are you dating that asshole again?"

"If you mean John, no."

"No?"

"He is fun, but..." she moved her hands "we don't exactly fit."

"So..." Helena asked curiously, "Who are you going out with, then? That boring guy from the party?"

"Of course not."
"He is handsome. Why haven't you dated him yet?"

"Because I just date one person a time; I was with John."

"He was a record, you dated him ten months. That must be boring."

"My record is Dick, a year and a half. I'm not like you." Barbara took some popcorn from the bag Helena had between her legs and put it inside her mouth. She was a very reserved person. The only person with whom she talked about her private life was Helena. She was stubborn and hard-headed, but, usually, she had good advice.

Helena hated when Barbara looked flawless in a sexy outfit, like that tight green dress. She left her speechless and set her hormones raging. The redhead didn't seem to notice the effect she had on her.

Barbara sat close to her, she smelled so damn good. She almost jumped in her place when Barbara put her hand inside the popcorn bag resting between her legs. The feeling of the movement of Barbara's hand close to her most sensitive part made it throb. She blushed, praying Barbara hadn't noticed.

"I don't know how you can date three women at the same time," the redhead said watching the television.

"Practice." Helena cleared her throat, moving the popcorn bag to rest on her leg. It would be dangerous for her, if Barbara put her hand inside it again. "So… who is the lucky one tonight?"

"I'm going out with Kelly Smith."

The brunette opened her eyes. It had been a long time since Barbara had dated a woman. And she hated it. It pissed her off more knowing that the redhead was dating a woman than a man. What did Barbara see in them? She was more charming, and beautiful and...

"Kelly Smith?" Helena finally said, "That old business woman?"

"She is not old. She is charming, gorgeous and an excellent conversationist. What are you watching?"

"Wonder Woman. Kelly Smith is way older than you. How could you date someone so old?"

Barbara glared at the brunette. "Look who's talking, you love to date women older than you. And, besides, she is just three years older than me and we are just going out to have fun." The redhead turned her attention to the television screen again. "That show is very old."

"Lynda Carter is gorgeous. Look at that waist. Who cares if the show is old?" Helena cocked her head toward her friend. Barbara dated Kelly for several months a few years ago. She didn't like this; Barbara never dated anyone twice. "You have dated her before, why again? And John? Aren't you with him right now?"

"Well, she has been insisting we go out since I split with John."

"I didn't know you broke up. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because every time I talked about him, you got pissed off."

"It's not my fault, he is an asshole." Helena defended herself. "Why are you dating her again?"

"Well, I thought giving us a second chance was not so bad."

Helena looked at the redhead, but she couldn't hear her. Her eyes fixed on the soft lines of her former guardian's face. She knew Barbara was bi, that she dated women sometimes. Maybe that helped her keep her hope alive that one day Barbara would look at her as a woman, but… she didn't have any chance with her.

Barbara would always look at her as the little sister.

She was pretty young for her -- nine years younger than her, barely out of school and not a penny in her bag; surviving just on her bartender's job. She loved her job, but it was nothing as exciting as the beautiful people Barbara usually dated, people well known in New Gotham high society, with professional degrees, like the redhead. They all had important jobs or were owners of corporations and had lots of money in their bank accounts.

Barbara was elegant, refined, and cosmopolitan.

She surely looked like a sewer rat next to those money giants.

"Yes," the brunette nodded, "She is a good choice for you."

"What?" Barbara looked at her, intrigued. Helena approving of one of her new dates? That was weird.

"Well, she is… she is as high profile as you are and, well, you have a lot in common."

The redhead crossed her arms and rested her back on the couch, crossing her leg. Her dress fell to the side, revealing a strong, well formed leg.

Man. That amount of skin was really a temptation. Helena took a fist full of popcorn and put it inside her mouth, fixing her eyes on the television screen as she tried very hard not to look.

"What about you?" the redhead asked.

"Me?"

"How many people are dating you now?"

"Just two." The brunette shrugged her shoulders. She had a hard time keeping her eyes on the screen and not on Barbara's leg.

"Have you ever thought of having a formal relationship?"

"There's no point."

"Why not?"

"It's boring. I prefer fun and fun girls. Fun girls usually don't want anything serious. I'm happy being free."

"Wild cat, eh?" Barbara sighed, smiling lightly.

"Yeah, right."

The older woman observed her in silence a few seconds and nodded. "I hope someone tames you someday."

Helena turned to look at the other woman. "Why?"

"I'd like to see you happy," Barbara said, resting her hand on the brunette's thigh.

Helena swallowed her popcorn. The warmth in the redhead's eyes, plus her hand on her upper thigh always created a kind of combustion inside her.

"Miss Barbara," Alfred interrupted, suddenly, "Miss Smith is downstairs, waiting for you at the penthouse."

"Oh, excellent." The redhead stood up. "See you later, guys. Don't wait up for me."

"Bye." Helena felt her mouth really dry and not from the popcorn she'd just eaten.

Alfred watched her go. When the elevator doors closed behind her, he said: "Beautiful woman, isn't she?"

"Yeah. She is great," Helena said, absentmindedly staring at the elevator door.

Alfred noticed her silence and smirked at her. "And you? Are going out tonight?"

"Oh no," Helena shook her head, leaning back against the sofa. "The Wonder Woman marathon is pretty good."

"Maybe you need another ten pounds of popcorn."

"Excellent idea."

Alfred chuckled and left the room.

The brunette kept her eyes on the screen, but she couldn't focus on the show, her mind traveled back a few years.

She landed on the penthouse's balcony after a night out partying. She had been out with some friends and it had been fun. She walked inside the penthouse's library. Barbara was there, with her arms wrapped around a strange woman… kissing her.

Kissing her???

At first, she felt stunned. A split second later, she felt her heart breaking in thousands of pieces and, in the next moment, her eyes snapped to gold as angry jealousy consumed her.

Barbara felt her presence and moved back, caught by surprise; she didn't expect her. "Helena?"

"I see you are busy," the young woman said coldly, staring at Barbara's guest.

"Why don't you use the main door to come inside the house?" Barbara was annoyed. She hated that Helena was so stubborn and insisted on climbing the walls.

"I'm sorry. I forgot the key." Helena said, irritation dripping from her voice.

The redhead knew it would not be good to argue in front of her friend. She extended her hand toward her. "Karen, this is Helena, my ward; Helena, this is Karen, an old friend."

"Hi Helena." Karen gave her hand to the brunette. "Barbara has told me a lot about you."

The teenager eyed her, she was a stunning woman. Beautiful. It made Helena angrier.

"Yeah?" she said dryly. "She never told me about you."

"Well, we have just been dating a few days."

"Oh, dating." Helena moved her head, looking Barbara. She was dating someone and she hadn't say a word to her and, worst, it was a woman. She didn't know Barbara dated women.

"How did you come in by the balcony?" Karen looked behind her toward the open windows. "The building is pretty high."

"We have a back door," the redhead hurried to say. She noticed Helena's reaction and took her by her arm. "I'll be right back, Karen. Helena and I must talk a few minutes. Make yourself comfortable."

Helena pulled her arm back. "Why? I would like to get to know her." She smiled at Karen "You seem very nice."

"This is a private date," Barbara growled, waving toward the door. "Come with me."

"It was a pleasure," she said, not meaning it, and stepped outside.

"Be right back." Barbara said. She followed the young girl out of the room, closing the door behind her. She took Helena's arm and pulled her toward her room. She knew all about Helena's tantrums. She was always jealous when anyone tried to get close to her family. She remembered having seen it several times when Selina was planning on going out on a date. Helena was not going to screw up her night.

As soon as she locked the door behind them, she faced Helena.

"Why didn't you tell me?" the brunette asked her, angrily.

"Why are you walking inside the house using the balcony?" Barbara crossed her arms over her chest. "I have told you many times not to climb the building! Use the door."

"You are gay! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm not gay." Barbara rolled her eyes.

"You were kissing her!" Helena waved her hands, exasperated.

"I'm bi, Helena."

The brunette blinked, it took her a few seconds to react. "Why didn't you tell me? I told you I was gay… why didn't you tell me you are bi?"

"Because I didn't see the point, we were talking about you, not me."

"The point is… is.." the brunette suddenly found herself stuck, not able to express herself, "is… is… is that you are bi!"

"So?" Barbara cocked her head. "You are gay."

The brunette growled, glaring at her.

"Don't growl at me! You know I hate when you do that!"

"What about me?" Helena faced her, wanting scream to her that she loved her, that she had seen her first. Seeing her in another woman's arms made her crazy.

"What about you?" Barbara frowned. She was not going to do the number that she used to do on Selina in her jealous reactions. "Helena, I will not tolerate your tantrums!"

The brunette, furious, turned her head buffing. This was not a tantrum! Why couldn't Barbara see it? She always thought Barbara was straight, but now she had discovered she was bisexual, and, and, and… and she was there! Why couldn't she see her as a woman?

Barbara pinched the bridge of her nose and put her other hand on her waist. Helena was like a big child. She was afraid of losing the only place she felt was home and the only person that she saw as family: her.

"No one can change what is between us," the redhead said, softening her voice.

"No?" the teenager turned. Her eyes shone, for a second she felt she had hope.

"No," Barbara took a step toward her and waved her hand on the air. "She is… she is just a friend. You are different, you are special to me."

Helena fixed her eyes on Barbara, who looked at her gently.

"Me?"

"You always will be."

Helena stared at her. Would she give her a chance?

"Do you love me?"

Barbara smiled at her. Her green eyes had that sparkle that she loved. The redhead moved toward her, wrapping her arms around her. "Of course I love you."

The young girl hugged her back strongly, she wanted to believe it was true. She was saying she loved her.

"Don't be silly," Barbara added. "You're my girl."

Helena inhaled deeply, she loved her smell. Barbara felt so good under her hands. "I love you, Barbara," she whispered, rubbing her face against the redhead's cheek.

"I love you too, Helena. I will always love you," Barbara said and chuckled. "Don't you know? You are the best little sister I could have ever had."

Helena moved back, suddenly. Barbara didn't love her, she didn't feel as she did. She just looked at her as a kid.

"What's wrong?" the older woman asked, noticing Helena was staring at her in confusion.

The brunette shook her head.

"Hel…" Barbara sighed and crossed her arms. "When you told me you were gay I understood you, because…. because I know what it's like when a woman catches your eye. I love to date men, but sometimes it's nice to be with a woman." She scratched her head. "Look, maybe I should have told you before, but the moment was never right. I'm a very discreet person. I respect you and this house. It was just a kiss, I was trying to be discreet in my library. I never expected that you would appear suddenly. The logic was that you would knock on the door. I'm sorry, we share many things, I should have explained this to you before."

Helena rubbed her eyes, feeling confused. She had thought for a second that Barbara shared her feelings.

"I don't want you to feel pushed away. You are my family, Helena, you are an important part of my life. I don't want you to feel threatened when I'm dating someone. You are unique, special. No one could take your place."

"Yeah, sure…" the brunette growled, turning her back to the older woman.

"Helena…"

The teenager left the room without another word.

Helena's mind came back to the present. She was now 23, Barbara 31. She didn't mind the age thing, but it seemed it would always make the redhead look at her as her best friend's daughter, the girl that once was her protégé; and now, the young woman with a bartender's job that spent her nights being a crime fighter as Huntress' partner of the Oracle.

She was just that, nothing more.

What a load of crap.

TO BE CONTINUED