Ao3 Tags: Miscarriage, Blood Child Loss, Cats, Foggy Bakes, Karen Cooks, Stress Cooking, Stress Baking, Matt and Steve are Boxing Buddies, Matt Murdock's A+ Coping Skills, Grief/Mourning
Full Character List: Matt Murdock, Breana Davenport (Lab Rats OFC), Franklin "Foggy" Nelson, Karen Page, Father Lantom, Steve Rogers (Karen/Foggy, Matt/Breana)
October 16th, 2023
Matt unlocked the door to his apartment, a bag of take out in one hand. "Honey, I'm home." He called. He had gone home for lunch, and Karen and Foggy had done the same. "Matt!" He heard her call out to him, her voice full of pain and panic. Her name was Breana. He'd rescued her from her kidnappers. She did still have family, but it wasn't safe for them to take her back right now. He didn't know how, but he fell in love with her. The age difference didn't matter, she trusted him and he had to protect her. She was even afraid of Foggy when she first met him, and Foggy, as much as he wanted to, he wouldn't hurt a fly.
Matt set the takeout (It happened to be Chinese) on the table. "Where are you?" He called. "Bathroom!" Breana yelled back at him. Matt took off his coat and suit jacket, sensing her out. As soon as he reached the hallway he was hit by the strong scent of blood. There had to be a lot if he could smell it like this already. He heard the cat pad out from the bathroom, rubbing against his legs. "Dammed cat." He muttered. Claire's friend, Amber had died and Claire didn't want the cat. Matt didn't either. But Breana did. They'd just been calling him 'Evil Kitty' like Claire had started, [She didn't remember the name Amber gave him], since Breana hadn't been able to come up with one yet. They had to name a baby; a cat was the least of their priorities.
Matt sensed Breana out, finding her leaning against the side of the tub. All he could smell now was blood, the coppery metallic scent sharply in his nostrils. He could hear her racing heart and rapid breathing, an unwelcome contrast to the calmness of the rest of the building. "What's wrong?" Deep down he knew, but the words just tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them. Even though he couldn't see her, Breana looked up at him. "The b-baby. Call Karen." Her voice faltered. Matt kissed her sweaty forehead. "Ok honey, I can do that." He told her, brushing the loose hair out of her face. He walked out to the kitchen, hearing their resident feline start purring in an attempt to sooth her.
Takeout long abandoned, Matt pressed Karen's speed dial button. She got 'three' since Foggy had long since gotten 'one' and Claire 'two'. She was living with Foggy now; of course she was since they were married. "Matt." Karen greeted her voice smooth in the phone's speaker. "Is everything alright?" She questioned. Karen and Foggy always worried, sometimes for no reason; sometimes for a reason. Matt paused momentarily, collecting himself. "No. Breana- she's in the bathroom. So much blood."
Karen cut him off before he could say another word. "We'll be right over." Matt let out a breath he didn't know he was holding as he hung on Karen, putting his phone on the stove. He walked back to the bathroom, sitting beside her and wrapping his arms around her.
They'd been through this before, but not like this. It was 2014, after he found her. She was so young and thin, even if she wanted the child, she didn't know if she did or not even if she was finally free, her body couldn't handle it, she was so nutrient deficient and her body wanted to sustain itself more than another human being or even two, she was a twin herself, she knew that much. There was just as much blood then, except that time, she wasn't far enough along for there to be anything except tissue and blood clots. This time, she was twenty three weeks along, just on the edge of viability and the abortion limit. Matt had been careful at first, until he hadn't. But he got used to the idea of being a dad. He even talked to her bump every night before he went out on patrol, as he held her so she could at least fall asleep, if she couldn't stay asleep because of the nightmares and now having to pee every hour or so.
As soon as Matt hung up, Karen went to find Foggy. She found him rummaging through the fridge. "Foggy, Matt called. We have to go over there now." Foggy turned and looked at Karen. He was holding a box of leftover Thai. "Are they ok?" He wondered worriedly. Karen shook her head. "She's losing the baby." She began to grab some old towels and sheets, stuff that could be thrown away after the ordeal, or more likely- burned. "Can I help?" Foggy asked quietly, almost timid. He had a sadness in his eyes. Matt had been so excited about being a dad. Karen nodded softly. "Of course." Once she had everything she needed, she grabbed her purse, following Foggy out to their car. The door slammed shut behind them.
Foggy drove as fast as he legally could to Matt's, hoping the car could take it. It was a junker, sure, but the cabs were expensive, even in New York. He hastily parked the car, running up the stairs with Karen. Karen fumbled with the spare key in Matt's lock, giving Foggy time to collect himself. Karen hugged him before walking in to Matt's apartment. It was eerily quiet as she handed Foggy a set of old sheets to put on Matt's bed instead of his silk ones. Karen walked into the bathroom, Foggy staying in the living room respectfully after he changed out the sheets. She bit her lip when she saw how much blood there was. The bathroom rug would have to be added to the pile of things to be burned. Those green eyes of Breana's looked up at her, fear and pain behind them. "Hey sweetheart, I'm here now." Karen talked softly, hugging her and petting her hair briefly. She helped Breana removed her blood soaked sweatpants and underwear, wincing at her sound of pain. She saw Matt reach over, rubbing her back and wondering how he could be so calm.
Breana whined in pain, squeezing Matt's hand tightly. He kissed her hand and then her forehead. She buried her face in the crook of his neck. Matt held her to his chest. He was overwhelmed by the smell of blood and being able to hear everything, all of his love's little pains and grunts; the pounding of her heart blended in with the noise of the city. Matt knew it was time by the way her grunts got closer together and more breathy. He squeezed her hand tightly. "Take deep breaths and concentrate on Matt and the cat." Karen coached her.
Breana breathed deeply, squeezing Matt's hand again. She focused her pain until it became too much. She cried out in pain. The cat ran away, frightened by the sudden loud noises. Matt rubbed her back, although the effort was in vain, alternating between either side of her spine as he dug the heel of his hand into the small of her back. He could feel how tense her muscles were. He squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't cry in front of her. He just couldn't. He bit down on his lip, chewing it.
After a few more yells of pain, Karen caught the tiny, pink and wrinkly baby girl, wrapping her in a towel before handing her to her mother. She had been so excited about being an 'aunt'. She and Foggy were of course married and he and Matt were as good as brothers. Sure there had been tension between them after Foggy had found out about Matt being Daredevil, but then he realized why he was doing it. Most of the police force had been controlled by Fisk, so nobody was doing a damned thing about anything, and as a lawyer, Matt knew all about the law and its few, but effective loopholes. Besides, if he had never become Daredevil, he never would have found Breana. Rescuing Breana and even falling in love with her was unexpected, but it helped his Catholic Guilt in that he was able to keep doing what was wrong but right, what he needed to do.
Breana held the baby girl to her chest. The thought of losing a child was very familiar to her as it had happened many times before. As much as she hated carrying children conceived from the seed of those men, she always grieved for the ones lost, even if she knew they were better off that way. She looked over at her Matt. He thought he had the Devil in him, like the story Father had told him, but he didn't. At most he was a Fallen Angel, condemned to earth because he helped people, thus intermingling with them too much.
"Do you- Do you want to hold her?" Breana whispered. Matt nodded. "Yes." He squeezed her shoulder comfortingly. She carefully settled the baby in his arms. His daughter. Matt cradled her, supporting her head. He listened to her heartbeat and soft breathing, touching her with one hand face briefly.
Karen walked out to Foggy. He had the cat in his lap. Though it wasn't just 'the cat', it was George. He'd given the cat a name and Matt would have to deal with that. "You can come in now, though the bathroom is a little crowded. " Karen told Foggy. He noticed the blood on her hands but he hugged her anyways. George the Cat ran into the corner, styling the fur on his head.
Karen walked with Foggy back to the bathroom. Foggy hugged Matt. He knew what that look on his face met. "Hey honey." Foggy took Breana's hand. She acknowledged him by nodding and squeezing his hand. A towel covered her lower half obscenely. Matt handed the baby to Foggy, acting on instinct. Foggy gently cradled her in his large hands. She looked up at him. She had Matt's brown eyes. "She's so perfect." Karen breathed, directing it at Matt. "She is." Matt agreed. "So perfect." Foggy whispered. Breana nodded softly, taking everything in.
Foggy sang softly. "You are so loved baby girl." He kissed the baby's forehead. "Lucy." Breana whispered, her palms shaking. "Lucy Claire." Matt whispered, holding her hand. She squeezed his hand tight. Foggy handed Lucy to Karen, letting her hold Lucy for a moment. Karen held her close for a few minutes, and then handed her back to Breana. She went to the room that was to be the nursery. The crib hadn't even been put together yet or anything. Karen picked out an outfit that Lucy could wear before walking back to the bathroom. She dressed her because Breana was in too much of a shock to do so, and it would have taken a while for Matt to learn how to do baby related things by touch. They had already picked out some things that he could differentiate by touch because of the embroidery though.
As Karen dressed Lucy, Foggy helped Breana up, not minding or looking when the towel fell. Matt got her a pair of sweatpants. They'd been married for eighteen months so far, though they'd have been married longer if Matt wasn't so nervous about proposing. Foggy had to give him a pep talk when him and Breana had been dating for so long, at least four years. They got married on March 30th, 2022; a month before she turned twenty three.
Foggy settled Breana into bed after she put the sweatpants on, and Karen came in, handing Lucy back to her mother. Lucy cooed softly, fluttering her eyelids. She had Matt's hazel eyes. Breana held her to her chest. Matt sat next to her. "Hey." He whispered,holding her hand. He kissed her forehead. Matt knew that Lucy was holding on, Breana's bionic powers probably playing a part in that, but she would be gone by morning.
Breana sighed, leaning her head on Matt's shoulder. Matt rubbed her back gently. "Why don't you get some rest?" He suggested. While he had come home at about noon, it was now about five pm, and Breana had trouble sleeping last night since she had to keep getting up to go pee. Breana nodded, snuggling further into Matt. "Ok." Matt held her to his chest. He ran his large hand through her hair, untangling it with his fingers. She smiled, dabbing at her eyes with her left hand while she cradled Lucy in her right arm. Matt hummed. "Something I gotta do with Lucy."
Breana nodded. "Ok." She gently handed him the surprisingly alert baby girl. Matt smiled, holding her close. "I want to want to dance with her in my arms. My chance to have a father- daughter dance." Breana smiled sadly. "Of course." Matt kissed her cheek, standing up and walking over to the record player. "These are daddy's records. Music has always been a love of mine." He talked softly as Lucy gurgled. Matt lowered the needle, selecting You Are My Sunshine by Johnny Cash. "May I have this dance?" He asked her, holding her tiny hand. Lucy held his finger. He held her while he danced, swaying side to side.
Breana watched them, blinking back tears. She couldn't help but record them with her camera app. It wasn't her second miscarriage,but it was her second one with Matt. She'd lost track of how many she'd had over the years. The first one with Matt had been shortly after he had rescued her, after he had had found her all those years ago. Technically, this wasn't a miscarriage. Lucy was still alive for a few more hours, but the hospital wouldn't be able to do anything. Even with the new technologies and advancements, she was still so small and underdeveloped.
"I used to dance with your mommy as you kicked in her tummy." Matt was so in love with his little girl. She had little tufts of her mommy's medium brunette hair, and his whole ring could fit over her arm. He kissed her forehead before handing her back to his beautiful wife. "Hey honey." She cooed, voice hoarse from crying. Matt smiled, just watching them. "You're so adorable you know that?" Breana sniffled, holding Matt's hand. He squeezed her hand reassuringly.
Karen was in the kitchen with Foggy. She was making lasagna and Tuna Casserole in order to cope. They would be able to go into the freezer so that Matt and Breana just had to reheat them. Foggy was making brownies using a recipe that was passed through his family. Chocolate couldn't take the pain of losing a child away, but it could lower stress levels. Karen was putting her feels through her cooking to deal with her grief,besides just making sure Matt and Breana had food to eat. She'd put the Chinese takeout Matt brought in the fridge while it was still salvageable. Right now she was spitting a tuna noodle casserole into a freezer bags. She had some lasagna in the oven with Foggy's brownies. They had the same oven temperature needed so it worked. She hadn't known that Foggy could bake, but it was a good thing because she was better at cooking than baking.
Karen held Foggy's hand. "They don't deserve this. They're good people." Foggy grounds her, his hand cupping her shoulder blade to stop the shakes. She would cut herself if she shook now, with the knife in her hand. "I know, baby. Matt would be a great father." Karen lost it, setting the knife down. She held on to Foggy, crying into his shirt. He rubbed her back, holding her close. His large body consumed her tiny frame. She sniffled, looking up at him. "I have an idea." She whispered. "Yeah?" Foggy wondered, holding her just a bit tighter. "Ben's wife gave me his camera; we could-" Karen's voice cracked. "Yeah, that's a great idea." Foggy didn't expect her to be able to finish her sentence, her voice went so high. "I put it in my purse." Foggy kissed Karen's hand.
Karen splashed water on her face before going to find where she put her purse. She already knew how to work the camera. She walked with Foggy to Matt and Breana's bedroom. Karen couldn't resist taking a picture of Breana and Matt snuggled together. Matt looked up. "Hey Karen, Foggy." He greeted. Karen smiled warmly. "Ben left me his camera. I thought that maybe we could take pictures, so that you'll have something of Lucy." She proposed, squeezing Foggy's hand.
Matt was completely fine with the idea. "Honey?" He rubbed Breana's hand with his thumb. "I like the idea." Breana said softly, squeezing Matt's hand. He squeezed back gently. Karen grinned, taking more pictures of them with Lucy. She even sat with Lucy and let Foggy take a picture of her when he and Matt insisted. "You're her aunt."
Breana yawned, her forehead resting against Matt's shoulder. "You should sleep. I'll call father and make arrangements. Perhaps he can baptise her." Breana nodded. She laid on her side, curling up as Matt took Lucy. He turned the light off for her, covering her up. She used her arm as a pillow, snuggling into the mattress. As she closed her eyes, her thoughts raced, disturbing her relaxation. She didn't know when she finally fell asleep.
Karen held Lucy since Foggy insisted on taking a picture of her. Foggy smiled taking pictures. Father Lantom came at Matt's insistence, arriving quickly. He knocked on the door quietly but sighed as he got up to open the door for Father Lantom. He knew Breana blamed herself, of course she would. She'd come a long way from the scared little girl she had been, but she was still hurting. He took care of her the best he could, but he wasn't a counselor or anything like that, though he had talked to Karen a lot through the course of everything.
"Hello Father." Matt greeted. Father Lantom shook Matt's hand. He was getting on in age, for sure, but he still did God's Work, as if helping the Devil of Hell's Kitchen with his problems was something that God approved of. Although, he had married at least him and Breana, and Foggy and Karen. "I came as soon as I could." He followed Matt inside. "It's alright, father. It gave Breana time to rest." Matt said simply, as if the situation wasn't dire. Lantom nodded. He took one look at the small baby in Karen's arms and sighed. It was such a shame that things like this had to happen, especially to good people. Even if Lantom didn't always approve of the methods that Matthew used, he still tried to help people
Matt carefully creeped down the hallway to the bedroom he shared with Breana. He frowned when he saw her waking up. She whimpered, looking up at him. "Can't sleep without you." She whispered in her post nap haze. "You could come to the living room with me." Matt reached for her hand. Breana nodded, using Matt as support to get up. Matt guided her to the living room, where Father had began to set up. He sat her next to Karen.
Karen gently settled Lucy into Breana's arms, trying not to look the younger woman in the eyes for fear that she would start crying again when she had to be strong for the girl who had been treated worse than her. Matt sat next to Breana on the edge of the couch, resting his arm across the small of Breana's back.
Lantom finished setting up. "May I see her?" He asked quietly. Breana nodded, carefully handing Lucy over. "Her name is Lucy." She sniffled. Lucy looked up at him. "Hello sweetheart." Lantom whispered. The tiny infant cooed quietly. Matt used his free hand to hold Breana's, listening Father pray. Breana gently squeezed Matt's hand, feeling the strong hand squeeze back.
Father gently placed the water onto Lucy's forehead. "In the name of the father, son, and Holy Spirit." Matt rubbed circles on the back of Breana's hand with his thumb while Father kept talking to Lucy.
After the ceremony, Karen went back to the kitchen since she remembered that there was stuff to make snickerdoodles, which were one of the few things that she knew how to bake. Matt held Breana, Lucy in their arms. She was holding on, but it wouldn't be long until she would go. Matt carefully got up, talking lowly with Father. Breana held Lucy close, not paying any attention to them even with her super hearing. "I'm so sorry baby girl." She whispered, kissing Lucy's forehead. Matt sat back down, squeezing Breana's hand and holding her close. Breana snuggled closer to Matt.
"I love you." Matt sighed, listening to Lucy's faint breathing. "I love you too." Breana whispered, not wanting to let go of their little girl. Matt heard her heartbeat slow, sighing. Breana looked up when she heard Matt sigh. "She's closed." He whispered, kissing Breana's forehead after hearing her sniffle. She held Lucy to her chest as she took her last breath. Matt's breathing hitched as he tried to fight the tears.
Breana sniffled again, the tears running down her face. Matt held her tightly. "It's going to be alright." She sighed, shaking a bit. His heart broke. Something deep his chest came undone. Both anger and grief flooded him all of a sudden. Matt needed to fight, and beat the shit out of his city's enemies.
Karen glanced over at Matt. "Excuse me." Matt announced hoarsely collecting his phone, jacket, and cane. He knew exactly who to call when he felt like shit, and need to punch something, and someone who could handle him. Karen nodded, taking over holding Breana.
Matt's fists were clenched at his sides as he left. Foggy groaned. "I should give him a head start and go after him." Karen nodded. "Alright." Foggy looked at her. "I'll respect his space, but make sure he doesn't do anything bone headed." Karen nodded again. "Ok." Foggy left, leaving the girls with Father Lantom.
"Would you like a cup of tea?" Karen offered Father Lantom. "Yes, thank you." Father Lantom answered, trying to comfort Breana. Breana listened to him talk, still holding Lucy. "It's all going to be alright. Matt has a temper and a fire raging in his bones. but he's not stupid." Breana nodded. Lantom watching her, seeing her bite her lower lip. "She's beautiful." Breana nodded softly, unaware of Father watching her.
Matt tried to punch it out. It's worked for him before, and a lot safer than the alternative, so he punches the bag, feeling the old vinyl sink in under his knuckles. He punched until his knuckles are raw, rinses the blood off, and rewraps them.
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done… The prayer grounds him, and he whispers it under his breath while hitting the bag. Forgive us our tresspasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. (forgive me for what I am about to do) And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen. (please Lord stop me from wanting this, stop me from needing this)
It hurts, but it's not enough, and when Steve finally arrives it looks like he needs a break, not a real fight. "I'm fine Rogers." Matt doesn't sense any change in his expression, just a simple "Alright". Steve wraps his knuckles, and he goes at Matt. He tried to make it seem like he was making an effort, but he didn't want to hurt Matt.
"Come on Rogers!" Matt snapped. Steve didn't recall ever hearing that much desperation in someone's voice, so he willying fought Matt harder, resulting in a right hook to Matt's jaw. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Steve rambled, handing Matt a handkerchief to mop up the blood. Matt shrugged it off. "It's fine."
Karen brought out a tray with tea, sugar and milk before she sat next to Breana again. "Thank you." Lantom picked up a mug while Karen fixed Breana tea before herself. Breana cradled Lucy in one are carefully, sipping her tea with the other.
"How did you meet Matt?" Lantom tried to strike a conversation with the bereaved mother. "He rescued me." Breana whispered, closing her eyes softly. "Oh honey…" Lanton whispered. He squeezed Breana's hand as she sighed, feeling her small hand squeeze his old one. "He is strong willed, that Murdock."
Matt returned hours later with a busted lip. Breana frowned despite having seen him much worse off. "I'm fine." He assured, feeling the air briefly change pressure when she nodded. "Rogers didn't mean to pop me, my fault actually. I wasn't so graceful with my feet." Matt knew Breana and Karen were both looking in his direction. "Rogers?" Breana managed to ask.
"A friend. We meet up at the gym, and toss a few rounds." Matt explained, exchanged spot with Karen. "Oh." Breana nuzzled into him, despite the scents of blood, sweat and tears permeating her super senses. "Drinking does nothing for him. So we box instead. I find it's soothing."
And if Steve started crying when he showed up with flowers to apologize for injuring Matt (even if it was just a split lip), nobody said a thing.
I tried not include so many religious details, plus the google search was confusing since the roleplay I based this off wasn't detailed, and that was just fine.
The opening scene of Matt in the ring is heavily inspired from a part in 'Scratching The Itch' by marmolita (Ao3, unsure if she's on fanfiction), though I will not link this work back to that one because they have no relation. Also, I only remember a few prayers, since now I sorta rarely go to church and I have so much other things to focus on.
The Background info is on Ao3 (archive of our own), so if you want a thorough explanation look there. (The Life and Times of Matt Murdock) just google search the tile, it's easy since it's not song lyrics and the little includes Matt's name. Like the only thing with the same title is a new article. I can't post the background info here because of the fact that it's me explaining, so somebody would probably say that it's just an author's note.