I would love it if you gave criticism on this story! If you love it, hate
it, loathe it, let me know because I'd really appreciate feedback! This is
my first attempt at writing fan fiction, which I had to do involving Snape
because I've never been struck by such an interesting character in a book
before. Anyway, Heres the first chapter!
+MissMaryJane
.BUT WAIT!! Before you read you must understand that all the characters in the in the Harry Potter universe are owned and created by JK Rowling and I am just lame and far too lazy to make up my own (except for Aisha who's special).
-+-
This is a dream.
First you hear the soft click of a latch opening and then comes the thick ribbon of white light that pierces this darkness for just enough time to let someone in. But who will it be this time? The Needle Man, the Beater, the Sleazy One that cuts me? Or maybe the Quiet Man. I always wish its him but he's only been here twice before, or maybe only once. Fear rips through my chest when I hear the footsteps that break this silence. How did I get here? Everything before this room is a blur. He's close now. I scream inside and wish for only one wish which is to be able to break this curse and move, blink, cry, scream for help, but it doesn't come. My dreams are broken by the crack of my jaw and the taste of blood. It's the Beater this time.
Wait.
He's gone. There's no more darkness, in fact, everywhere is painfully bright. Someone is carrying me outside. His face is scared and he's talking real fast. I'm too tired to listen properly. Lying in the cold now. I can't move because it hurts so much. I can feel that my body is broken and there's blood in the snow. His hands are on my face and he feels like hope for a second. I remember, he took me away from that awful darkness, but its too late. The sky is grey but its so bright and the world is all becoming white. "You must do this please" he screams and shakes me again but I'm falling. His face is so beautiful and his eyes are so dark and I try to listen but I cant. I've taken too much. Light is taking over now, pain becoming numb, his words falling away, that beautiful old mansion in the distance filled with darkness now becoming a blur. Everywhere is becoming nowhere. I can just feel the cold underneath slice like a razor through my skin.
Open my eyes.
The shapes are coming back but again in some other place. Green and white. Its so sharp here. There are blurry people speaking softly about "snow" and "miracles". Muggles. There are machines and needles and windows in this room. It smells clean. Safe. I moan slightly to let them know I'm awake. A nurse comes over, smiling down at me. She has kind eyes and grey hair. "Its about time you woke up Sleeping Beauty" she says softly. Then he appears like decay in this sweet place. The people scream and call for security but its way too late. He has already stabbed me in the chest. Colder than anything I have ever felt before and I start to scream. Strange words I cant even understand. Everything has slowed down now. He continues to plunge that huge knife into me. Stab. Stab. The pain takes over everything. The sound of steel slicing my chest, the smell of this place. Stab. The screams and attempts to pull him from me. His eyes. My blood. Stab. It all fades away.
She woke with a scream.
-+-
Trapped in a late morning daydream, Aisha tried to pull her mind from her subconscious and focus on shelving the books in front of her. She had been thinking of a dream that she had the previous night and couldn't shake it. It wasn't the first time she had dreamt of those places. Strange places, strange people, but she couldn't recall their faces. She stared at the book in front of her. A Dictionary of Faeries. Where's the creatures section again? she asked herself.
The whole first week of her new job had been a giant cloud of misunderstandings and confusion, and although she was an ex student of this school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and who just over a year ago had frequented the library in a frenzied blur in order to pass her NEWTs, it had since become a great labyrinth to which she was completely lost within. She slowly passed through the aisles, relaying their names to herself in her head. Muggle Literature, Potions, Divination, Magic History, this place really needs some order, a-ha! Magical Creatures! She quickly found a spot for the book and went back to the shoulder high pile of others waiting for her. She noticed a group of Ravenclaw girls eying her and whispering amongst themselves. There had been a lot of that actually. People were curious as to why Aisha, who was previously a seventh year Slytherin only a year before, had come back to work as a library assistant in the middle of term with no explanation. Even members of the staff were surprised. She had only spoken to a few of her ex teachers however, as she mostly tried to avoid them, particularly the Head of her old house, Being the Potions Master of Hogwarts. She knew that she would meet him soon though, and dreaded that moment most.
"Aisha dear."
Her thoughts were quickly broken away by the voice of her new boss, Madam Prince. Her request was simple however it caused Aisha's stomach to feel like she had just swallowed something painfully heavy.
"Could you please bring these down to Professor Snape, he's been after these for months now. Thankyou".
As the librarian piled a stack of potion textbooks into her arms, Aisha felt sick. So it would be sooner rather than later that she would have to see him. She hesitated briefly, then turned and slowly made her way down to the dungeons. As she moved through the dark corridors, down several sets of stairs, she tried to block out the pictures that were playing like a movie in her head. Things from the past but not too long ago. Things that she wished she had never seen. Things that she was now hiding from.
Before she realised it, she was standing in front of his classroom door. Aisha quickly straightened her shirt and flicked her jet black hair from her eyes, juggling the stack of books whilst doing so. Her heart was pounding through her chest and she could feel her cheeks beginning to burn. While exhaling and knocking on the dungeon door, she wished that she could undo all the memories and secrets that caused her to feel to nervous towards her ex favourite ex teacher.
"Enter" she heard him call over the murmur of sixth years in his room.
Reluctantly she pushed on the door, stepping forward to embrace the sweet smell of rose oil and citrus that was brewing throughout the classroom, which for a quick moment calmed her slightly. This feeling was however stolen when she met his gaze, tearing straight into her heart. Aisha felt sick again, and quickly looked down, continuing to study her feet as she made her way up to his desk, her legs nearly giving way due to some strange cocktail of feelings. She felt everyone's eyes on her, including his, and knew that the Professor wanted her to look at him but she couldn't. This is wrong. Just say something and leave. Please just let me go quietly.
"Madam Prince apologises for the wait on these Professor" she mumbled, dropping the books on his desk and turning to escape. The worst sinking feeling overwhelmed her, but it was lost when she felt him grab her left arm.
"Aisha."
She stopped. The soft murmur in the classroom numbed to silence.
"Back to work" he threatened softly to his students, who grudgingly went back to brewing their potions.
His grip loosened and she turned, her ice blue eyed met his. She heard herself say something like "Yes Professor", but was focused on his gaze. She was desperate to read what he was feeling. Not hate, maybe sadness, defiantly concern. She could feel her hands shaking slightly and unconsciously began to play with the hem of her skirt. In what seemed like forever, he calmly spoke.
"I'd like to see you later."
He turned around and broke their gaze to scribble something down on a piece if scrap parchment.
"Alone" he added softly, handing the folded white sheet to her. She grabbed it quickly in hope that he wouldn't see her nervous hands.
She could sense his eyes searching her again, but didn't meet it, instead deciding to study her feet again. Just leave. Turn and leave. She turned and almost ran straight out of the door, pulling it hard behind her so it slammed with a 'crack'. Leaning against the huge wooden door, she sighed to herself. For a second she hated him for being so calm. Her heart eventually slowed down and her cheeks returned to their usual porcelain shade. Remembering the note, she slowly unfolded it and felt her chest pound again.
My office. 11pm.
If anyone asks you are
assisting me in cleaning
out my storeroom.
S.S.
-+-
Later that evening, Aisha lay in her bed, staring out at the snow softly falling against her window. There was a polite tick tock sound of her clock which filled the room. It was 11:07. He hates waiting she thought. Reading the note over again, she began to picture the Potions Master as she remembered him when she was in her last year at Hogwarts.
Being in Slytherin meant he naturally favoured her, but she saw through that. She knew that there was a lot more to him than his apparent pleasure in taking away house points from Griffindor and being hurtful and cynical towards his students. She had listened to what the other students in her house had said, mostly about how their parents thought it was so great that he was teaching there. Her own parents, her Mother and Step Father always spoke highly of him, but Aisha knew better. Her parents were Death Eaters, which meant that he had to be as well. Since she refused to go back home after she turned 16, promising to herself that she would never adapt to her parents beliefs, she became obsessed with working out just who Professor Snape was really loyal to. There was that one time. In the last month of school, I was cleaning up late and we were alone.
She had watched the Professor give the Slytherin boys in her year a look of absolute loathing as they left the room that day. They had been mercilessly picking on a Hufflepuff girl by the name of Rose Lenchantin, who was unfortunately born with a birthmark covering more than half of her face.
"Aisha, you coming?" grunted Marcus Flint, the biggest and most evil of the group, whom Aisha despised the most.
She had always wondered why she was put into the house with the most assholes, but learnt to accept it, becoming a loner instead. She ignored Flint, who mumbled something that sounded a lot like 'bitch' to his friends, who walked away to the Great Hall for lunch. She continued to bottle the remainder of her invisibility potion when she felt her cheeks begin to burn. She looked up to find Professor Snape staring straight at her. She had expected him to immediately look away and go back to grading the papers before him, but instead he continued to look directly into her eyes as if trying to read her, study her thoughts. After a few seconds Aisha looked away and pretended to concentrate on packing her bag which resulted in her spilling the open bottles over her books. So stupid she thought. She looked back up at the Professor, who was apparently enjoying himself in watching her suffer in front of him.
"Stop smirking, its not funny" she said, only half serious.
He slowly got up and gracefully walked over to help her.
"Aisha, at times your almost as clumsy as those idiot Hufflepuffs" he joked softly.
He quickly pulled his wand out of his robes and pointed it at her bag.
"Extracto"
The potion filtered out into a small floating ball of liquid before him, which he splashed back into her cauldron with a small flick of his wand. Aisha's heart started beating fast. It did whenever she was near him.
"Thankyou Sir" she said quietly.
She felt his eyes on her which she looked up to meet. She was always struck by his face when they talked, which was very rare. His beautiful pale skin contrasted the darkest and most troubled eyes, and his shoulder length hair always sat perfectly, framing his features in black. She had always tried to convince herself that she wasn't attracted to him, but it was so hard when he was looking at her like that, standing so close. Aisha opened her mouth to talk but instead he spoke.
"You're not like them are you?" he asked plainly.
She was taken aback by this. What does that mean? He continued to study her face.
"Not like who, Sir?" she asked, feeling her cheeks burn more. "You mean the other Slytherins?" she added.
He nodded, not blinking as he watched her. Aisha felt slightly less nervous. She had hoped that she knew what he meant, where this was heading. And as he continued to gaze at her for what seemed like hours, she calmed more and smiled a little. She wanted to know.
"And your not really as bad as you act, are you Professor" she replied playfully, still giving him a tiny shy smirk.
He let out a small laugh and tilted his head slightly, apparently pleased with her response. Slowly, he brought his hand out to meet the side of her face, where he softly brushed a stray lock of hair back behind her ear, lazily following it down to her waist where he was now watching his finger twirl around the ends of her shiny black hair. Aisha felt surprisingly calm, she didn't mind him playing with her hair, she would have even let him kiss her, touch her if he wanted. She moved her hand out to touch his and he looked up and fixed those eyes on her again.
"Don't ever change Aisha" he said, in almost a whisper.
He brought her hand up in his and kissed it lightly, eyes still fixed on hers, and then slowly released her and walked back to his desk where he resumed working, occasionally glancing up to watch her quickly pack her things. She was slightly in a daze but managed to make it out of the room without fainting. She couldn't believe what had just happened, and wanted so badly to run back down to the dungeons and tell him all her feelings, tell him her fears and wishes and that she maybe even loved him, but she knew that it wouldn't, couldn't happen. They never spoke of that moment again.
-+-
The snow continued to fall outside and the sound of the clock drifted back into her thoughts. What time is it? She turned her head to find that it was now 11:34. Just go. He'll be mad but you need to talk. GO.
Slowly she sat upright, everything going heavy for a few seconds as the blood from her head sank briefly because she got up too fast. So many things have happened since that day. I've seen him do things that terrify me. Things I'm sure he'll want to talk about. Try and make me forget. Aisha stood up and walked over to her bathroom where she looked into the mirror, still debating to herself as to if she should see him or not. Is it even safe? He could hurt me like he did to-.
A splash of water from her hands stopped these thoughts. She found a towel to pat her face dry. She sighed and picked up a brush and began to comb her hair. With her wand she put an enchantment spell on her makeup which began to touch up her face. When she was satisfied she quickly changed into a tight knitted green jumper and her old black Slytherin school skirt which she dressed up with a pair of chunky black vinyl mary janes and thigh length stockings. She then grabbed her wand and quickly rushed out the door, hoping that Professor Snape would still be in his office.
-+-
+MissMaryJane
.BUT WAIT!! Before you read you must understand that all the characters in the in the Harry Potter universe are owned and created by JK Rowling and I am just lame and far too lazy to make up my own (except for Aisha who's special).
-+-
This is a dream.
First you hear the soft click of a latch opening and then comes the thick ribbon of white light that pierces this darkness for just enough time to let someone in. But who will it be this time? The Needle Man, the Beater, the Sleazy One that cuts me? Or maybe the Quiet Man. I always wish its him but he's only been here twice before, or maybe only once. Fear rips through my chest when I hear the footsteps that break this silence. How did I get here? Everything before this room is a blur. He's close now. I scream inside and wish for only one wish which is to be able to break this curse and move, blink, cry, scream for help, but it doesn't come. My dreams are broken by the crack of my jaw and the taste of blood. It's the Beater this time.
Wait.
He's gone. There's no more darkness, in fact, everywhere is painfully bright. Someone is carrying me outside. His face is scared and he's talking real fast. I'm too tired to listen properly. Lying in the cold now. I can't move because it hurts so much. I can feel that my body is broken and there's blood in the snow. His hands are on my face and he feels like hope for a second. I remember, he took me away from that awful darkness, but its too late. The sky is grey but its so bright and the world is all becoming white. "You must do this please" he screams and shakes me again but I'm falling. His face is so beautiful and his eyes are so dark and I try to listen but I cant. I've taken too much. Light is taking over now, pain becoming numb, his words falling away, that beautiful old mansion in the distance filled with darkness now becoming a blur. Everywhere is becoming nowhere. I can just feel the cold underneath slice like a razor through my skin.
Open my eyes.
The shapes are coming back but again in some other place. Green and white. Its so sharp here. There are blurry people speaking softly about "snow" and "miracles". Muggles. There are machines and needles and windows in this room. It smells clean. Safe. I moan slightly to let them know I'm awake. A nurse comes over, smiling down at me. She has kind eyes and grey hair. "Its about time you woke up Sleeping Beauty" she says softly. Then he appears like decay in this sweet place. The people scream and call for security but its way too late. He has already stabbed me in the chest. Colder than anything I have ever felt before and I start to scream. Strange words I cant even understand. Everything has slowed down now. He continues to plunge that huge knife into me. Stab. Stab. The pain takes over everything. The sound of steel slicing my chest, the smell of this place. Stab. The screams and attempts to pull him from me. His eyes. My blood. Stab. It all fades away.
She woke with a scream.
-+-
Trapped in a late morning daydream, Aisha tried to pull her mind from her subconscious and focus on shelving the books in front of her. She had been thinking of a dream that she had the previous night and couldn't shake it. It wasn't the first time she had dreamt of those places. Strange places, strange people, but she couldn't recall their faces. She stared at the book in front of her. A Dictionary of Faeries. Where's the creatures section again? she asked herself.
The whole first week of her new job had been a giant cloud of misunderstandings and confusion, and although she was an ex student of this school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and who just over a year ago had frequented the library in a frenzied blur in order to pass her NEWTs, it had since become a great labyrinth to which she was completely lost within. She slowly passed through the aisles, relaying their names to herself in her head. Muggle Literature, Potions, Divination, Magic History, this place really needs some order, a-ha! Magical Creatures! She quickly found a spot for the book and went back to the shoulder high pile of others waiting for her. She noticed a group of Ravenclaw girls eying her and whispering amongst themselves. There had been a lot of that actually. People were curious as to why Aisha, who was previously a seventh year Slytherin only a year before, had come back to work as a library assistant in the middle of term with no explanation. Even members of the staff were surprised. She had only spoken to a few of her ex teachers however, as she mostly tried to avoid them, particularly the Head of her old house, Being the Potions Master of Hogwarts. She knew that she would meet him soon though, and dreaded that moment most.
"Aisha dear."
Her thoughts were quickly broken away by the voice of her new boss, Madam Prince. Her request was simple however it caused Aisha's stomach to feel like she had just swallowed something painfully heavy.
"Could you please bring these down to Professor Snape, he's been after these for months now. Thankyou".
As the librarian piled a stack of potion textbooks into her arms, Aisha felt sick. So it would be sooner rather than later that she would have to see him. She hesitated briefly, then turned and slowly made her way down to the dungeons. As she moved through the dark corridors, down several sets of stairs, she tried to block out the pictures that were playing like a movie in her head. Things from the past but not too long ago. Things that she wished she had never seen. Things that she was now hiding from.
Before she realised it, she was standing in front of his classroom door. Aisha quickly straightened her shirt and flicked her jet black hair from her eyes, juggling the stack of books whilst doing so. Her heart was pounding through her chest and she could feel her cheeks beginning to burn. While exhaling and knocking on the dungeon door, she wished that she could undo all the memories and secrets that caused her to feel to nervous towards her ex favourite ex teacher.
"Enter" she heard him call over the murmur of sixth years in his room.
Reluctantly she pushed on the door, stepping forward to embrace the sweet smell of rose oil and citrus that was brewing throughout the classroom, which for a quick moment calmed her slightly. This feeling was however stolen when she met his gaze, tearing straight into her heart. Aisha felt sick again, and quickly looked down, continuing to study her feet as she made her way up to his desk, her legs nearly giving way due to some strange cocktail of feelings. She felt everyone's eyes on her, including his, and knew that the Professor wanted her to look at him but she couldn't. This is wrong. Just say something and leave. Please just let me go quietly.
"Madam Prince apologises for the wait on these Professor" she mumbled, dropping the books on his desk and turning to escape. The worst sinking feeling overwhelmed her, but it was lost when she felt him grab her left arm.
"Aisha."
She stopped. The soft murmur in the classroom numbed to silence.
"Back to work" he threatened softly to his students, who grudgingly went back to brewing their potions.
His grip loosened and she turned, her ice blue eyed met his. She heard herself say something like "Yes Professor", but was focused on his gaze. She was desperate to read what he was feeling. Not hate, maybe sadness, defiantly concern. She could feel her hands shaking slightly and unconsciously began to play with the hem of her skirt. In what seemed like forever, he calmly spoke.
"I'd like to see you later."
He turned around and broke their gaze to scribble something down on a piece if scrap parchment.
"Alone" he added softly, handing the folded white sheet to her. She grabbed it quickly in hope that he wouldn't see her nervous hands.
She could sense his eyes searching her again, but didn't meet it, instead deciding to study her feet again. Just leave. Turn and leave. She turned and almost ran straight out of the door, pulling it hard behind her so it slammed with a 'crack'. Leaning against the huge wooden door, she sighed to herself. For a second she hated him for being so calm. Her heart eventually slowed down and her cheeks returned to their usual porcelain shade. Remembering the note, she slowly unfolded it and felt her chest pound again.
My office. 11pm.
If anyone asks you are
assisting me in cleaning
out my storeroom.
S.S.
-+-
Later that evening, Aisha lay in her bed, staring out at the snow softly falling against her window. There was a polite tick tock sound of her clock which filled the room. It was 11:07. He hates waiting she thought. Reading the note over again, she began to picture the Potions Master as she remembered him when she was in her last year at Hogwarts.
Being in Slytherin meant he naturally favoured her, but she saw through that. She knew that there was a lot more to him than his apparent pleasure in taking away house points from Griffindor and being hurtful and cynical towards his students. She had listened to what the other students in her house had said, mostly about how their parents thought it was so great that he was teaching there. Her own parents, her Mother and Step Father always spoke highly of him, but Aisha knew better. Her parents were Death Eaters, which meant that he had to be as well. Since she refused to go back home after she turned 16, promising to herself that she would never adapt to her parents beliefs, she became obsessed with working out just who Professor Snape was really loyal to. There was that one time. In the last month of school, I was cleaning up late and we were alone.
She had watched the Professor give the Slytherin boys in her year a look of absolute loathing as they left the room that day. They had been mercilessly picking on a Hufflepuff girl by the name of Rose Lenchantin, who was unfortunately born with a birthmark covering more than half of her face.
"Aisha, you coming?" grunted Marcus Flint, the biggest and most evil of the group, whom Aisha despised the most.
She had always wondered why she was put into the house with the most assholes, but learnt to accept it, becoming a loner instead. She ignored Flint, who mumbled something that sounded a lot like 'bitch' to his friends, who walked away to the Great Hall for lunch. She continued to bottle the remainder of her invisibility potion when she felt her cheeks begin to burn. She looked up to find Professor Snape staring straight at her. She had expected him to immediately look away and go back to grading the papers before him, but instead he continued to look directly into her eyes as if trying to read her, study her thoughts. After a few seconds Aisha looked away and pretended to concentrate on packing her bag which resulted in her spilling the open bottles over her books. So stupid she thought. She looked back up at the Professor, who was apparently enjoying himself in watching her suffer in front of him.
"Stop smirking, its not funny" she said, only half serious.
He slowly got up and gracefully walked over to help her.
"Aisha, at times your almost as clumsy as those idiot Hufflepuffs" he joked softly.
He quickly pulled his wand out of his robes and pointed it at her bag.
"Extracto"
The potion filtered out into a small floating ball of liquid before him, which he splashed back into her cauldron with a small flick of his wand. Aisha's heart started beating fast. It did whenever she was near him.
"Thankyou Sir" she said quietly.
She felt his eyes on her which she looked up to meet. She was always struck by his face when they talked, which was very rare. His beautiful pale skin contrasted the darkest and most troubled eyes, and his shoulder length hair always sat perfectly, framing his features in black. She had always tried to convince herself that she wasn't attracted to him, but it was so hard when he was looking at her like that, standing so close. Aisha opened her mouth to talk but instead he spoke.
"You're not like them are you?" he asked plainly.
She was taken aback by this. What does that mean? He continued to study her face.
"Not like who, Sir?" she asked, feeling her cheeks burn more. "You mean the other Slytherins?" she added.
He nodded, not blinking as he watched her. Aisha felt slightly less nervous. She had hoped that she knew what he meant, where this was heading. And as he continued to gaze at her for what seemed like hours, she calmed more and smiled a little. She wanted to know.
"And your not really as bad as you act, are you Professor" she replied playfully, still giving him a tiny shy smirk.
He let out a small laugh and tilted his head slightly, apparently pleased with her response. Slowly, he brought his hand out to meet the side of her face, where he softly brushed a stray lock of hair back behind her ear, lazily following it down to her waist where he was now watching his finger twirl around the ends of her shiny black hair. Aisha felt surprisingly calm, she didn't mind him playing with her hair, she would have even let him kiss her, touch her if he wanted. She moved her hand out to touch his and he looked up and fixed those eyes on her again.
"Don't ever change Aisha" he said, in almost a whisper.
He brought her hand up in his and kissed it lightly, eyes still fixed on hers, and then slowly released her and walked back to his desk where he resumed working, occasionally glancing up to watch her quickly pack her things. She was slightly in a daze but managed to make it out of the room without fainting. She couldn't believe what had just happened, and wanted so badly to run back down to the dungeons and tell him all her feelings, tell him her fears and wishes and that she maybe even loved him, but she knew that it wouldn't, couldn't happen. They never spoke of that moment again.
-+-
The snow continued to fall outside and the sound of the clock drifted back into her thoughts. What time is it? She turned her head to find that it was now 11:34. Just go. He'll be mad but you need to talk. GO.
Slowly she sat upright, everything going heavy for a few seconds as the blood from her head sank briefly because she got up too fast. So many things have happened since that day. I've seen him do things that terrify me. Things I'm sure he'll want to talk about. Try and make me forget. Aisha stood up and walked over to her bathroom where she looked into the mirror, still debating to herself as to if she should see him or not. Is it even safe? He could hurt me like he did to-.
A splash of water from her hands stopped these thoughts. She found a towel to pat her face dry. She sighed and picked up a brush and began to comb her hair. With her wand she put an enchantment spell on her makeup which began to touch up her face. When she was satisfied she quickly changed into a tight knitted green jumper and her old black Slytherin school skirt which she dressed up with a pair of chunky black vinyl mary janes and thigh length stockings. She then grabbed her wand and quickly rushed out the door, hoping that Professor Snape would still be in his office.
-+-