Hurt

Title: Hurt

Summary:I'm lying on my bathroom floor, no lights on and yes I've
lost it.

Author:Isabella Stardust

Pairing: Faith/Lilah

Rating: R (just for safety really)

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not buffyverse, nor the lyrics to hurt
by nine inch nails, nor the memory of johnny cash.

I hurt myself today

To see if I still feel

I don't Johnny, I really don't.

I'm lying on my bathroom floor, no lights on and yes I've lost it.

I'm not sure how or why but I flaked and then, then I ran into her

With her tempting offers and generous supply of alcohol.

Not to mention the way her hair fails at the base of her
neck,curling just slightly round.

She smirked and tilted her head to oneside when she caught me
looking.

She thought I was staring at her breasts.

Even I'm not that sex obsessed.

She made some flippant, sarcastic, cutting comment which I only
half heard.

I just listened to the low purr of her voice and let myself be
mesmirised by her sleek hair curling round her smooth skin.

When those hands, those evil beautiful hands found there way upon
my skin I picked myself out of my trance and ran.

And I ran.

Into the night, into my flat, into that convient bottle of vodka
which lay on my kitchen table.

So now here I lie on my bathroom floor, with no lights on
listening to Johnny Cash, In my underwear.

Crying, though I'm still not sure why.

What have I become ?

My sweetest friend

Everyone I know

Goes away in the end

You could have it all

My empire of dirt

I will let you down

I will make you hurt

I put it on repeat.

Let the rising piano drift over me.

I don't know how many times.

I light a fresh smoke.

I don't know how many times.

Ash everywhere around me.

Fuck.

What have I become?

Try to kill it all away

But I remember everything

It's a little later when I see her sillouette.

Smirking, taunting.

And with some unknown strength I get up and go to hit her.

Somehow I end up kissing her.

ripping her clothes from her body.

Violent.

Visceral.

I bite her flesh and lick her wounds.

And she just stands there - smirking.

I taste her salt-sweat skin, and now she's the one lying on my
bathroom floor in the dark.

Without her underwear.

"Faith" she whispers, that little bit of hair curls round her neck
- flattened by sweat.

So I lick it as Hurt draws to close for what seems like the
millionth time this evening.

And it hits me; I need to get the fuck out of here.

If I could start again

A million miles away

I would keep myself

I would find a way