His Brand of Heroin: Bella's Point of View
GEORGE ELLIOT ONCE SAID 'The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone.'
Hearing is the last sense to leave you when you are dying. I had read that ages ago but I really never put much thought unto it till now.
I felt as if I was drifting in and out of darkness or some form of wispy gray mist. I couldn't feel my limbs anymore. It was as if I didn't even have a body. Everything felt numb like the way your jaw does when you get teeth removed at the dentist. I could hear talking but it all seemed to flit by as if I was in another world.
It was as if there was a fourth dimension. But it was all too hard to describe what I was seeing exactly. I felt as if I was standing on the edge of everything I had never been before. I could recognize voices but they all seemed to flit away into the world which I wasn't in. Yet I was in at the same time. I knew that there was more than what I heard. There was so much more than empty conversations filled with empty words
That's when I remembered about him.
Edward. Gorgeous, dazzling, flawless Edward. With his pools of amber antagonizing eyes always looking at me would be heartbroken. I was his kryptonite and his tourniquet. Without me he was nothing. Guilt washed over me. I should have listened to him the first time he told me we really should been friends.
I desperately wished I had one last chance, one last breath just in case there was just one left to tell him that I loved him. That I loved him all along. All this was when I wished had listened to him long ago. About his warning on how we should never been friends. But no I was selfish and silly only thinking of what I wanted not him.
'Bella?' the voice like velvet or honey slowly dripping out the worlds lingering in my ears. I could sense desperation in the voice and fear. Fear of losing me. "NO!"I screamed out loud or so I thought. But no sound was uttered from my red swollen lips. I knew I wasn't worth all this. I had never been. I wanted to just die alone. Without anyone there. I didn't want to be remembered. I didn't want anyone grieve the lost of me.
That when it registered that he had come to save me and I slipped into the warm dark, the last word flicking across my mind, almost a content breath, Edward.