Cold Vengence
I guess I was wrong again
I used to think I could go somewhere
Turns out I'm ill-prepared
Disappear Here - Bad Suns
You would think that first loves are forever, the one person that you will always love no matter what. I for one wish I could believe that.
I wish I could look back at my first love and feel something other then than loathing and hate.
I wish I could tell you I had a wonderful experience with love, but alas I cannot and I will never be able to either. He ruined me completely, and now I am unable to trust any man or woman, for that matter.
I first met Phoenix at Hogwarts; we were in the same year and the same house. When I first laid my eyes on him, I thought I was in heaven. He was beautifully attractive in every sense of the word. Of course being an eleven-year-old meant that I wasn't really attracted to him sexually, but I knew that I wanted to be his friend, that I must be his friend. How I wish I knew then what I know now.
Our friendship started off great, I remember asking him to be my partner in potions and later I asked if that meant we were friends. We would send each other innocent love letters back and forth between classes. I have to give him credit though; he did try to warn me of the consequences of being his friend. I should have been scared off by his dark aura, or even by how he would explain things simply with no emotion. He told me horror stories of him killing his father when he was five; I couldn't believe what he was saying. How could that even work? something about him scared me once I heard the story but still, I wanted to be his friend. I was an inexperienced eleven year old, I didn't believe the story he told me, and I stayed by his side.
As the years went by the signs on of danger became clearer to me, but still, I remained his friend. He would lash out and duel anyone that pissed him off; One time he even gave his bunk mate a black eye.
By the time I was fifteen, I had fallen head over heels in love with him and by then it was too late to turn back. It was this year that I finally realized I was in trouble - it was the year he convinced me to take the potions he invented. I'll never forget that moment.
"In life, you always have a choice."
"Yeah but sometimes it's easier to pretend you don't." He manipulated me into taking it by making me believe that I didn't have a choice. That if I was his friend like I claimed I was, then I would do it just because he asked.
By the time I was sixteen, I was addicted to him. It was as if he was heroin and I was a drug addict. I needed to see him every day every day, and if I didn't I would go into a Great Depression until I saw him again. I would bearly eat, I couldn't sleep, and all I would do was lie in bed all day. It was horrible and because of it, he had complete control over my life.
He loved having that kind of power over me, I know he did. If I didn't do what he wanted he would just leave for a few days which caused me to do anything he wanted because I couldn't stand being in a depressed state.
Our relationship didn't turn sexual until I was seventeen - which I was fine with, it was about time that he would finally have sex with me. I wore my tangerine slippers and nothing else around his dorm room and he finally jumped me. He was rough, but I can't exactly say I didn't like it. He gave me a diamond ring after that night, he didn't propose, just gave it to me and told me to never take it off.
Revealing the truth that was buried inside
By the time I was eighteen he started drinking heavily. He was always a sociopathic bastard but the alcohol made it so much worse. He exasperated so much more quickly - being irritated and angry pretty much constantly. He treated me as a slave, whatever he wanted me to do, whenever he wanted me to do it, it was done. He believed he was a King, and I would have to tend on him just as if he were actual royalty. He tortured me physically and mentally day in and day out every day, and the worst part was I couldn't even tell anyone. Whenever I would try to tell my parents or my big brother (because let's face it, no normal Black would ever let this happen) my tongue would get tied into a knot. Phoenix could do magic that no one in the wizarding world would even dream of.
I blamed myself, really. When I was eleven he warned me - he told me that becoming his friend was dangerous. He told me to stay away. I should have never drunk that potion he had given me in our sixth year. He had altered a love potion so I couldn't escape him - no matter what he did to me. Obviously, I didn't find that out until much later - but that's what it was. I should have listened to him, maybe then I wouldn't have been so fucked up.
On the outside we were a normal couple - we went to all of the pureblood events happy as could be. Him wearing his wizarding robes and tie while I wore a dress and glamors. I hated going to events because afterward I would get kicked and punched for 'embarrassing' him. I would definitely be sporting fresh bruises the following day.
It was because of Dorea, forever faithful, that I had been able to get out of the situation. Phoenix took me to Muggle London one day, where he felt safe to be rough with me in public there because no one we knew would be caught dead in Muggle London. We were on a boardwalk walking towards one of his favorite shops that we walked on often - it was there he slapped me across the face and busted my lip, which was wounded from the night before, open again, making blood go everywhere. "All that blood looks good on you. It brings out your eyes." I looked at him in pure hatred at that moment, of course, I couldn't express said hatred, I could just silently pray an angel will come down and cut his hands off so he can't hurt anyone again. Especially me.
Dorea saw this ordeal go down and had gone to our brother, telling him of what she saw. I really don't think Pollux believed her at first, however, he must have taken her word for it because the next day he blasted the door off our apartment when I was putting on a pair of pink petal socks.
At first, I was confused as hell, I didn't tell my brother where Phoenix and I lived; I couldn't. So how did he find me?
He uttered my name in his sweet soft voice which brought tears to my eyes. He hugged me tight and told me we were going home. Home? Could he really get me out of here? How could he even begin to do that? Why wasn't I freaking out about leaving Phoenix? "I don't understand."
"The person who broke you can't be the one to fix you," was all he said as he carried me out of my room.
"Well, I'm a freaking headcase!" I whine, I had no idea why I was allowing him to carry me away or why I actually wanted to go. I didn't realize why until Pollux brought me out and I saw the body of Phoenix with a single gunshot wound in his chest. I truly thought I would be sad or even mad at my brother but instead, I actually felt, for the first time in my life, extremely happy.
I was confused. Where did Pollux get a gun too? If mother or father knew he had such a bombastic Muggle device... they would flip. I think the act of him shooting Phoenix is how I could leave without getting upset because I was connected to him by magic and he died without magic being used. I felt the fresh air on my face when Pollux brought me outside and I grinned. Pollux put me in his car which he bewitched to be able to fly without being detected by muggles. I opened the window so I could feel the gentle breeze in my hair as the wind combed through it. We went flying high, soaring in and out of the fluffy white clouds and I breathed in happily. I felt a certain unfamiliar glow in my chest which screamed one thing: freedom.
I build a home and wait for someone to tear it down
Then pack it up in boxes, head for the next town running
No Roots - Alice Merton
Word Count: 1564
Assignment 12 Gardening Task 11; (Setting) A Boardwalk {Important because it's where her life started to change for the better}
Chocolate Frogs; (Bronze) Cassiopeia Black: Write about what could've happened to Cassiopeia to make her choose not to marry.
Eagle Month; Laverne de Montmorency: (plot point) falling victim to someone's love potion; (object) pink petal socks
Gobstones; Gold stone - First Love, (Action) Kicking someone, (Object) Tie, (Word) Simple(y)
Days of the Week; June 9 2018 - World Gin Day: Write about someone getting drunk. Alternatively, write about a morning after.
Summer Prompts; Fresh
Color Prompts; Tangerine
Birthstones; Pearl - (dialogue) "The person who broke you can't be the one to fix you."
Flowers; Aster - (word) Attractive
Fire Prompts; (Word) Glow
Musical Challenge; write about someone gaining something and then realizing that they don't want it anymore. alt, write about someone digging a deep hole for themselves
Star Chart; August 26 2018 - Mercury at Greatest Western Elongation. (scenario) Someone's luck running out
Film festival; Action - Slapping someone in the face
Faerie Day; Air Faerie; Wind, freedom, clouds, flying, soaring, air, gentle, open, breeze, breathe
Hot Air Balloon Day; (Object) love letter
TV Addicts; Merlin; (dialogue) "In life, you always have a choice." / "Sometimes it's easier to think that you don't.", (plot point) Keeping a secret, (word) King
FBaWtFT; The Nifler; (song) No Roots by Alice Merton, (word) Escape, (object) Diamond
Character Appreciation; (Word) Depression
Disney Challenge; Ana - Write about someone falling in love too easily
Book Club; Donatella: (word) escape, (trait) emotional, (dialogue) "Every night I pray and angel will come down and cut off his hands so he won't hurt anyone again."
Showtime; In This Corner - (action) punching someone
Amber's Attic; Caribou Lou: Write about getting drunk
Count Your Buttons; "Disappear Here" by Bad Suns, slippers, "Well I'm a freaking headcase!", title
Lyric Alley; Revealing the truth that was buried inside
Ami's Audio Admirations; 5.0 It's really good. Fact. — Write about someone loving something/someone
Sophie's Shelf; Violet Baudelaire: Task: Write about someone inventing something
Em's Emporium; Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley: write about character growth.
Lo's Lowdown; Leonard "Bones" McCoy - occupation: healer. Alt. emotion: exasperated.
Yearly 365 Prompts; Dialogue - "All that blood looks good on you. It brings out your eyes."
Yearly Insane House; (Title) Cold Vengence
Yearly Resolutions; Write a fic set in one of the spin-off eras - Cursed Child or Fantastic Beasts. If you haven't seen/read either, choose another era not listed above
Character Diversity Boot Camp; Cassiopeia Black; Flight
Minor Character Boot Camp; Cassiopeia Black (); Abusive
OC Boot Camp; Phoenix; Public
Character Trait Boot Camp; Fearful
Pairing Diversity Boot Camp; Cassiopeia/OC; argument
Favorite Hogwarts House Boot Camp; Power
Are you Brave Enough to do it: (feeling) Depressed