With a Little Help - One Shot
Harvey and Donna had developed a bit of a habit lately. Harvey was on a winning streak since becoming named partner and each time he won, they got drunk. Sometimes in his office, sometimes at a bar; but always drunk.
Sometimes Mike joined them; always leaving early to go see Rachel. Although Harvey and Donna enjoyed his company they both secretly looked forward to when they were alone.
It was during these times of intoxication that they pushed their boundaries with each other. Their banter became flirtier and more laden with innuendo and their looks lingered a little longer than they should.
But it wasn't to be tonight. The three of them were enjoying yet another celebratory drink in Harvey's office and they were all pretty tipsy and giggly when Donna got a text message and announced that she had to leave.
"Is everything ok?" Harvey asked, genuinely concerned. "Yeah, yeah, everything's fine" Donna assured him and then added "But I just gotta go and take care of something. I'll see you on Monday" and with that she was gone.
"Wonder what that was about" Mike said out loud but more to himself than anyone. Harvey just stared after her, his brow knitted in frustration. Why did she have to leave? What was more important than this? He thought she enjoyed this time together as much as he did. Hell, he wouldn't even look at his phone during their 'drunk time' as they'd taken to calling it.
Harvey sighed as he sat down on the couch. "Don't you have to leave now too?" he asked Mike, referring to his usual early exists from 'drunk time.' "Err, no. Rachel's out with her friends tonight. But it sounds like you want me to leave?" Mike said looking and Harvey with questioning raised eyebrows. "No, it's fine" Harvey said with another sigh. "Jeeze Harvey, you really know how to make a guy feel wanted!" Mike joked. Harvey smiled through a pout and said "sorry".
"Donna will be fine you know" Mike said. "I know she will" Harvey concurred. "So why the change in mood. Lighten up!" Mike said. Harvey remained silent, annoyed that his mood was so easily affected by Donna; or more precisely, lack of Donna. Mike's genius brain soon caught up and he said "oh, I get it. It's not what Donna's gone to deal with that bothers you. It's the fact that she had to leave at all."
Harvey turned to Mike and gave him a look that told him to shut up. Mike, emboldened by alcohol, ignored it and said "what's the deal between you two Harvey?" Harvey took a sip of his drink and said "I don't know what you mean". "Bullshit!" Mike called. "Calm down lightweight" Harvey warned him. "Sorry, but it is bullshit. You two have… err… um… a chemistry that you do nothing about" Mike said. "We work together" Harvey said shrugging. He too was feeling the effects of the booze but was still another glass away from talking about this.
Harvey poured them both another drink to try distract Mike from his current train of thought. It didn't work. "Rachel and I work together" Mike said simply. "It's different with Donna and me" Harvey stated. "How?" Mike asked. "It just is Mike!" Harvey insisted. It's different because we're grown-ups Harvey thought to himself.
"But you've been through so much together. She's given up so much for you. It's obvious you can't live without each other so why don't you just get together?" Mike asked like it was the most simple thing in the world. "What did you say?" Harvey asked. "What, which part?" Mike replied confused. "You said she'd given up so much for me. What did you mean?" Harvey pushed leaning forward staring Mike down.
"Well… I just mean…you know… Donna's kind of put her life on hold for you" Mike said nervously. Harvey leaned back in his chair and pursed his lips. He didn't like hearing home truths; especially when they came from the kid. He stayed silent for a while and then asked "did Rachel tell you this?" "Look, Harvey…" Mike started but Harvey cut him off with a very unexpected and friendly, almost pleading, approach "Mike, please, tell me what she said." Mike reluctantly told Harvey "she said that Donna will never find happiness with someone else because you come first and you always will. I think she's right Harvey. I mean, Donna's an amazing woman with no shortage of male admirers but she's not with any of them is she?"
Harvey thought about this, the last glass of scotch taking effect as he said "she is amazing, I guess I just ignored it over the years and put it down to her having very high standards and putting work first." "You are her work Harvey. She's been putting you first all this time. How can you have not seen any of this? I thought you were smart" Mike said mocking his mentor.
Harvey frowned at Mike and thought about this and said "so what does Rachel think Donna wants?" "You" Mike said matter-of-factly and then added "she thinks that you both know that you love each other, but you both need to realise that you're in love with each other. She thinks Donna knows this more than you do. She's smart!" Mike smiled.
"You wanna know what I think?" Mike asked. "I've got a feeling you're going to tell me anyway" Harvey said rolling his eyes and leaning back in his seat. "I think that you've never really felt the need to be in a serious relationship with anyone else, because you were kind of already in one with Donna. You just didn't know you were. Sure, you're one night stands and model dates might have taken care of one type of need, but Donna has taken care of all your other needs" Mike said.
"OK, Dr Phil" Harvey said sarcastically. But he couldn't help the overwhelming feeling of realisation creeping over him. Mike might have hit on something here. His thoughts were interrupted by Mike saying "imagine if you'd never had Donna in your life, I think you'd have had more long term relationships". "You might be right" Harvey said, still reeling from the kid's previous insight.
Harvey couldn't deny the fact that his mood had changed for the worse when Donna had left tonight; there was obviously a reason for that. But it wasn't easy admitting to himself that it was because he didn't want to be without her, even for one evening. Their 'drunk time' had had become his favourite part of his week, he'd cancelled other engagements just to ensure that he spent that time with Donna. He'd never actually thought about why. But if he was honest, it was because he loved spending time with her and there was nowhere else he'd rather be. Jesus, did that mean he was in love with her? He'd never been in love so had nothing to compare it to.
Harvey broke the silence by asking Mike "How did you know you were in love with Rachel?" Mike smiled "because I thought she was amazing; perfect in fact, I wanted to spend every second of every day with her, and the thought of her finding happiness with someone else killed me" he said and then added "sound familiar?"
"Jesus" Harvey said rubbing his jaw. "Did I just witness the moment Harvey Specter realised he was in love with Donna Paulsen?" Mike asked playfully. "Don't" Harvey warned with a half-smile.
Meanwhile, across town Donna was sat on Rachel's couch draining her second glass of wine. It had been an odd night for Donna. She'd received a text from Rachel earlier on that said Mike needed to speak to Harvey alone so could Donna leave them to it. Donna had cursed Rachel, and Mike, for ruining her 'drunk time' with Harvey – the highlight of her week. But Rachel had offered wine at her place so Donna had gone to hang out with her friend.
Rachel wouldn't tell Donna what Mike needed to speak to Harvey about but she did proceed to quiz Donna on what was going on between her and Harvey. "Nothing is going on" Donna had insisted several times. This didn't seem to satisfy Rachel so she made sure her friend drank more wine. She managed to get a bit of information out of Donna, but not enough. Donna had told her about 'drunk time' and how much she looked forward to it as it was like the good old days when they had less barriers up between them. When Rachel asked her if she loved him Donna had said "yeah, I do" before hastily adding "but not like that." Rachel didn't believe her.
Later on, after more wine Rachel plucked up the courage to tell Donna what she thought "he's your life Donna. Your world revolves around him. Why on earth can't you just be together? He obviously adores you. You're the only long-term relationship he's ever had." Rachel was surprised at Donna's reaction because she almost cried. "I know" Donna had said looking defeated, and then continued "I know. Harvey's just very complex. He views caring as a weakness. That's why he never shows that he cares, even though he does." "But he knows that you know that. Knows that you see past that?" Rachel said. "Yeah, I guess. But he'd never come right out and say how he feels" Donna said slumping back onto the couch. "Well, he needs to. Or you should move on and find happiness with someone else" Rachel said getting frustrated at Harvey.
"I know" Donna said again and then added "I want that. I want to be happy with someone. But as long as Harvey's a part of my life, I don't think I could be with anyone else. It just wouldn't work. I've thought about not having Harvey in my life; cutting him off. But I can't do it. I'd rather live like this than without him." Rachel's heart went out to this beautiful woman "have you told him how you feel? Because I don't think he'd need much persuasion to be with you" she asked. "No. I've buried my feelings so deep that I've even convinced myself they're not there" Donna said.
"Life's too short for this Donna. You two could be so happy together. I think you should tell him how you feel. Whatever happens; you're bond is strong enough that you'll figure it out." Donna's mind was racing with wine fuelled emotion. Could she tell Harvey how she felt? She'd have to do it during 'drunk time' so that she could blame it on the booze if it all went to shit.
Rachel's phone buzzed with a text message and it interrupted Donna's train of thought. "Mike's on his way over" she informed Donna. "Well I'll leave you two in peace then" Donna said. "You don't have to leave" Rachel told her. "Please, two's company…" Donna replied finding her shoes and getting her coat. "Donna, don't tell Harvey or Mike that I texted you to get you out of there. It would piss them both off" Rachel said. "Sure no problem" Donna assured her friend as she hugged her goodnight.
As Donna waited for a taxi she sent Harvey a text 'Is it still 'drunk time?' She got a reply immediately; 'Sure is. I'm back at my place. I'll pour you a drink'. Harvey was delighted that Donna had been in touch and was coming over, but also a little nervous. He'd missed her tonight. Plus, he couldn't wait to spend time with her now that he was armed with the knowledge that he was probably in love with her.
Mike got to Rachel's place about 20 minutes later. "So how did it go?" he asked her expectantly. "She loves him, always has" Rachel said and then added "you?" "He didn't realise he was in love with her all this time, but he does now!" Mike said excitedly and raised his hand for Rachel to high five it; she obliged. "So you think she's on her way over there now?" Mike asked. "Yeah, definitely" she answered. "Oh my god! This is killing me!" Mike said pacing around the room. Rachel laughed at him and said "you think this is going to work?" "I hope so!" Mike said and added "imagine if they finally get together. Like… for real… get together. That'll be thanks to us." "Thanks to our interference" Rachel mused. "You say interference, I say encouragement" Mike stated and then added "now, enough about them. What about us…" as he scooped Rachel up into a hug and carried her through to her bedroom.
Donna let herself into Harvey's place and found him sitting on the couch. He looked so sexy she thought to herself. Damn Rachel for making these feelings resurface. As she walked towards him Harvey couldn't help but think how beautiful she looked. He'd always known she was beautiful, but after tonight's revelations he was seeing her in a different light; he was seeing her with feeling.
She threw off her coat and shoes and slumped down next to Harvey letting out a massive sigh. "Rough evening?" he asked. "Not really. Just a friend in need" she said truthfully and then added "but I'm emotionally drained" as she tilted her head back and rested it on the back of his couch. "Ditto" Harvey said. Donna turned her head to look at him and gave him a questioning look. "Mike wanted to talk" he said by way of an explanation. "About what?" she asked, knowing that Harvey would tell her even if Rachel wouldn't. "Us" came Harvey's simple reply.
"What?" she said lifting her head. "The kid wants mom and dad to get together" Harvey stated motioning between the two of them. Donna couldn't believe this, sitting up she put her drink down and then it hit her "they set us up!" she said. "What?" Harvey asked confused. "Mike and Rachel. They set this whole thing up. I've been with Rachel all night; she said Mike needed to talk to you. She spent all evening grilling me about you" Donna said as the realisation of it all hit her. "God damn kid" Harvey said shaking his head before finishing his drink and pouring them another one.
After they'd finished berating the two youngsters about their attempted matchmaking they settled back down into a comfortable silence. "So what did you tell Rachel about me?" Harvey asked relaxing back into the couch with a very cocky smile on his face. "I told her you had a massive… ego" Donna teased. Harvey raised an eyebrow at her flirting and asked "anything else?" "Only that I was under appreciated by you" she added with a smirk.
"What about you. What did you tell Mike about me?" Donna asked slightly nervously. "I told him you were amazing" Harvey confessed without any trace of sarcasm or wit. Donna didn't know where to look. "I am" she said nodding once she'd got herself together. Harvey just smiled at her in agreement.
Harvey, emboldened by scotch, said "Look, Donna. I may not approve of what Mike and Rachel did tonight but I can't ignore what it's made me realise". Donna couldn't move, couldn't speak, this was it she thought; the moment of truth. Harvey continued "we should be together." Donna couldn't help but feel a little disappointed at this, it wasn't the romantic declaration of feelings she was hoping to hear and Harvey could tell this by her body language. Mike and Rachel were right Harvey thought to himself, Donna did have feelings for him.
Harvey recovered quickly "No woman could ever compare to you. You and me… we're just… right together. All this time I've thought I didn't want a relationship, but the truth is I didn't want one because it wasn't with you."
Donna was stunned into silence. Harvey had just told her how he felt and she was in shock. She'd wanted to hear those words for so long it felt surreal. "Say something Donna" Harvey said snapping her out of her daze.
Blinking she said "I've buried my feelings for so long because I didn't think you felt the same and I certainly didn't think you were capable of a relationship." "Mike pointed out that we have been in a relationship for over 10 years, whether we realised it or not" Harvey said smiling. Donna laughed a little in agreement.
"We both know that we love each other Harvey. But do you think you could ever be in love with me? There's a big difference" Donna said. "Yeah I do" Harvey said simply and then added "could you be in love with me"? Donna gathered all her strength and confidence and said "I am in love with you Harvey. I've been denying it for years, but it's never gone away."
Harvey leaned forward and kissed her. This wasn't like last time, this wasn't casual; this was full of meaning and emotion and over 10 years of suppressed feelings. She kissed him back and it was honestly the most amazing kiss either of them had ever had.
As they parted, slightly out of breath, they stared deep into each other's eyes and Harvey spoke in a low voice "stay with me… and I don't just mean tonight." Donna smiled as her heart sang and Harvey felt it too. He smiled back and pulled her in for another kiss.
Hope you enjoyed this! I'd really appreciate any feedback and reviews. Thanks for reading!