Disclaimer: This is the only one you're going to get, so pay attention. The characters and the wizarding world are not mine. I did not invent the English language, I had nothing to do with the atomic bomb, any resemblance to any person alive or dead is not intended to provide the basis for a lawsuit, and I'm still not making any money writing these excuses for actual imaginative fiction.
Chapter One: I Wouldn't Call It "Beyond the Veil" if I Were YouAfter the battle in the Death Chamber, Remus Lupin was feeling thirsty, so he went back to twelve Grimmauld Place for a drink. When Dumbledore stepped out of the fireplace, Remus was sitting at the table with two empty bottles of firewhisky in front of him and a half-empty one in his hand. Remus looked up at the noise of Dumbledore's arrival and said in a scratchy voice, "How's Harry?"
"My office is a bit more disorganized than it was yesterday, but that is no matter," Dumbledore said, fixing Remus with a well-known look. "Have you had breakfast yet?"
"I sure have," Remus said, indicating the empty bottles.
"Oh. Well, I haven't." Dumbledore retreated to the stove, where he spent a few minutes fidding around, then returned to the table bearing platters of bacon and toast. He sat down across from Remus and said through a mouthful of toast, "Forget Harry, how are you?"
"Bloody brilliant," Remus said. "Thanks for asking."
"Good," Dumbledore said. "Because there's something we need to discuss, but only if you aren't going to burst into tears on me."
"Of course I won't," Remus said. "Tears are a waste of salt water. What's on your mind?"
"Did Sirius ever write his will, as I asked him to?"
"Yes, he did," Remus said. "In fact, that was the first thing we did when he showed up at my place. He said to me, 'Remus,' he said, 'I'm going to die in less than a year, and I want to make sure you get everything I own, so by God, I'm going to sit down and write out my will –'"
"And what did he do with it?"
"First he transfigured it into a needle and used it to sew up his robes, then when we got here he put it in a pincushion but I said to him, 'Sirius, that needle looks exactly like every other needle in the world and you're not going to be around to tell me which one it is,' so he decided he was going to go put it in his Gringotts vault – the will I mean, not the needle –"
"What number is it?"
"Seven-eleven, and what's funny about that is that July eleventh is exactly one month after his birthday –"
"Where did he keep the key?"
"On a chain around his neck, which obviously does no one any good anymore, but he made me a copy because he said he was sick of me borrowing it all the time, and I put it underneath Buckbeak's dish –"
"I'm going to Gringotts," Dumbledore said, getting up. "And I'm locking up the firewhisky before I go."
When Dumbledore had returned and Remus was a bit quieter, they read Sirius's will together, which went as follows:
I, Sirius Ryan Black, being so in mind and body, and free of the influence of mind-altering spells or potions, do bequeath my possessions accordingly.
To Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, I bequeath my ancestral home, 12 Grimmauld Place, London, to use as he sees fit, and good riddance.
To Remus Jude Lupin, I bequeath all of my clothes, because God knows he needs them, all of my gold for the same reason, and whatever he would like from my old room at 12 Grimmauld Place.
To Harry James Potter, I bequeath my flying motorcycle, which is currently in the possession of Albus Dumbledore, and whatever he would like from my old room at 12 Grimmauld Place.
Signed, this third day of July, 1995, Sirius Ryan Black"And there was also this," Dumbledore said, handing Remus a scroll with his name on the outside in Sirius's ridiculous handwriting.
"Thanks," Remus said and put it in his pocket, looking Dumbledore in the eye all the while. "Did you have anything else to say?"
When Dumbledore had gone, Remus smashed open the door of the pantry and poured himself another glass of firewhisky before sitting down and opening Sirius's letter. It contained directions for finding Sirius's old diary, which was apparently hidden in the left pocket of his navy-blue dress robes in the wardrobe in Sirius's old room on the third floor.
"Marvelous," Remus said to himself, leaning back in his chair. "The very secret diary of Sirius Black is exactly what I don't need to read right now. When did he ever keep a diary? He thinks he can fool me, but I've known him too long for that. Kreacher!" bellowed Remus.
The house-elf, who had just disappeared into his dilapidated nest, scuttled out making his usual observations about Remus to the floor.
"Go up to Sirius's old room and bring me whatever you find in the left pocket of the navy-blue dress robes in the wardrobe, and if you do anything else, so help me God, I'll have your head for tea."
Remus smirked as the house-elf flew out of the room, but much to his disappointment, Kreacher returned five minutes later with a book the size of Remus's hand covered in scuffed green leather, which was plainly a diary.
"Blast," Remus said, accepting the volume from Kreacher. "It really is a diary. Well, now I suppose I have to read it." Remus opened it to the first page, which was blank. So were the second, third, fourth, fifteenth, and every other page.
"Blast," Remus said, slamming the diary onto the table. "This is his idea of a joke, is it? He can't be bothered to write in his diary, so he gives it to me – well, I'll fill in his stupid diary for him. Kreacher, get me a quill and ink and for the love of God, shut up."
Kreacher brought him a quill and ink and Remus began writing immediately.
Dear diary: I don't think much of your Sirius. He is a load of dung and he really ought to stop tormenting me now he's dead.
Remus paused to reload his quill and the words disappeared into the page. He gawked as a reply squirted out of the page in Remus's ink, in Sirius's loony script: I am not a load of dung.
Remus wrote hastily, Sirius, is that really you?
Yep. This is an enchanted diary and it lets you talk to me.
I've got that part now, thanks so much.
And I'm not tormenting you.
But you are actually dead, right?Yes, that is one of the prerequisites to entering death, you know.
And you're not coming back as a ghost?No, I wanted to see death, and James and Lily. Are you mad at me, Remus?
No, I've always known that if it were a choice between James and me, he would win.
You're mad. I can tell.
I shouldn't be, I've had a long enough time to get used to it.
You are mad, and you have the right to be. I should never have gone to the Department of Mysteries.
Of course you shouldn't have, but if you had it to do over, you would have gone anyway.
You're right, Remus, as always.
You shameless flatterer.
So tell me, how's Harry handling it?
I had to stop him jumping in after you. I'd say not too well.
I almost wish he had come through. I'm sure I could use the company.
Harry has a lot of work to do before he can die.
I know that, I'm not stupid.
So do you know anything about death?No, I can only remember what happened to me when I was alive.
Damn, I wanted to know what I have to look forward to.
Say, Remus, I hate to change the subject, but would you mind doing something for me?
Whatever you want.
Really?
Well, within reason.
But your definition of "within reason" has always been so much narrower than mine.
Oh, all right then. Anything within my power.
Are you making fun of me?
Of course not. You know I've never been able to tell you no.
I suppose you're right. Well, what I want is for you to get Peter for me.
I was going to do that anyway.
But I want you to get him alive.
Alive?That's right.
But I thought we were agreed that we wanted him dead.
Right, but that was me in the future. I have other plans for him.
What, you don't want to be stuck with him for all eternity?Something like that. Besides, I think he'll be able to do me a bit more good yet.
Sirius, what exactly are you planning for him?I'll need you to get a confession from him first. Have Albus witness it and a couple others from the Ministry you can trust. Get Snape to give him Veritaserum and make sure he says he spied for Voldemort, he was the Potters' Secret-Keeper, he betrayed them to Voldemort, and he knew I was never a Death Eater.
All right, but what am I supposed to do with him after that?Don't turn him in to the Ministry. Just contact me again when you have him and the confession.
Does that mean I can't talk to you again until I have him?Don't be ridiculous, of course not. I really do want to talk to you, even if you are a fool.
It's nice to know you still care.
Yes, well, I don't have all the time in the world to talk to you and I'm sure you've got something you need to be doing.
Oh yes, I've got tons to do.
Okay, talk to you later.
Bye.
Remus closed the diary, wishing Sirius were still alive, because he wanted to kill him. Remus had thought he had known Sirius at Hogwarts. Then he thought he had not. Then when he'd seen Sirius in the Shrieking Shack two years ago, he knew he had not. And then when they had set up headquarters here, he had found quite another Sirius. And even now, even after he was dead Sirius continued to be a mystery.
"It's a damn good thing no one ever asked me to do his eulogy," Remus muttered, which made him think that someone really ought to have a memorial service for Sirius. Not a funeral, since that generally required a body, just some kind of gathering to make fun of his life and mourn his death. Maybe it would give Harry an excuse to get away from the Dursleys for a day or so. Maybe the Ministry would let them have it in the Death Chamber. That thought made Remus smile grimly. He decided to mention it to Dumbledore, but he hadn't gotten much sleep the night before and after all, it wouldn't kill Sirius to wait a few hours.
* * *
"Yes," said Dumbledore, "I think it's a wonderful idea, and I'm sure we'll be able to use the Death Chamber. I wonder, do you think Sirius would have objected to a tasteful floral arrangement over the archway?"
"I can ask him, if you like," Remus said.
Dumbledore's face went suddenly quite rigid. "How are you able to talk to Sirius?"
"He left a diary in his room," Remus said. "He didn't tell me exactly how it works, but I write in it and he writes back."
"I have seen a diary like that once before," Dumbledore said, "and I must warn you not to write too often or too long in it."
"Why not?"
"It could be dangerous to put too much of yourself into that diary," he said.
"Do you think I'll die if I do?"
"You might," Dumbledore said. "It's best not to take chances."
Remus sighed. "All right," he said. "I'll be careful. Do you want me to ask Sirius about the flowers?"
"Yes, and do find out if he has any other requests," Dumbledore said. "After all, it isn't often that one gets to plan one's own funeral."
"Memorial service," Remus corrected automatically.
"Yes, yes, of course. Let me know if anything strange happens, will you?"
"Of course," Remus said. "I'd better let you get back to work."
"I suppose you're right. Thank you for stopping by."
"My pleasure," Remus said, and pulled his head out of the fire. He closed his eyes until his head had returned to its customary place. Then he stood up and went over to the stove; Tonks was returning from St. Mungo's in less than an hour and she had made Remus swear to make her favorite lemon salad for dinner.
St. Mungo's did not allow discharged patients to leave by Floo powder, broomstick or Apparition because of the danger that a patient would get hurt and consequently sue the hospital. (Wizardkind was becoming nearly as skittish about lawsuits as the Muggles.) Therefore, Moody had to drive Tonks from St. Mungo's to number twelve, where Remus, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Mundungus Fletcher, Bill Weasley and an exceptionally tasty dinner awaited.
"Did you make this all yourself, Remus?" said Tonks, licking out the salad bowl. "You did an incredible job."
Remus blushed. "Bill made the cream puffs," he said defensively.
Bill grinned. "Don't be ashamed, Remus," he said. "It's not the most glamorous job, but someone's got to cook for the Order."
"Now that Sirius can't," Remus muttered, and an unusually quiet silence fell over the diners.
At last Moody said approvingly, "He died like an Auror."
"At least he died," Bill said. "I mean, I'm sure he'd rather be dead than living the rest of his life locked up in St. Mungo's."
"He is dead, isn't he?" Tonks said. "I mean – that arch – no one's exactly sure what it does, are they?"
"Well, no one that goes in ever comes back," Moody said. "And it's not like they're just keeping out of sight behind the veil."
"That reminds me," Bill said. "What've they got you doing now that he's gone, Kingsley?"
"Well, now that the Ministry's admitted that Albus isn't actually instituting a reign of terror, they have to believe all his crackpot stories now, which means, unofficially, Sirius is an innocent man and Pettigrew is a traitor. So I have to find Pettigrew and get some proof so the Prophet can do a nice big cover story. The problem is no one's seen him for quite a while, he might be dead or just in hiding. Maybe you can help me there, Remus."
"What?" said Remus, who had been busy destroying the last cream puff.
"You knew Pettigrew at Hogwarts, didn't you?"
"I slept in the same room with him for seven years, yes."
"Then maybe you know something that would help me find him."
"If you want to know his shoe size, you've come to the right person. If you want to know where he is today, then you're out of luck."
Kingsley sighed. "For example, does he have any identifying marks?"
"Let me think – oh yes, Voldemort gave him that nice shiny silver hand about a year ago," Remus said acidly.
"Have you seen it?"
"No, but Harry has, and I'm willing to take his word for it."
"Okay," Kingsley said. "Is there anything else?"
"Well, I would say, based on his past behavior, if he's reported dead, then he's probably just hiding. I doubt he has enough courage to actually die."
Kingsley rolled his eyes. "All right, thanks for all your help."
"And if you find him, let me know, would you?" Remus said. "Peter and I have some old business to finish."
"Remus, you can't go killing Pettigrew," Kingsley said. "I know he's a worthless piece of garbage, but we need his testimony to clear Sirius's name. Besides, you've never been trained in combat –"
"I can cast Avada Kedavra as well as you can," Remus said.
"You haven't been practicing on anyone, I hope?"
"Oh no," Remus said.
"Good," said Kingsley. "But you still can't just kill Pettigrew without a death sentence –"
"Look, I swear I won't try to kill Peter," said Remus. "If he comes after me, of course, I can't promise anything. Does that make you happy?"
"Yes, thank you," Kingsley said.
But Remus's conscience was not appeased. He had not sworn not to capture Peter, but he knew very well Kingsley would want Peter under Ministry control, not in the hands of Peter's dangerous and possibly homicidal school friend. But Sirius wanted Peter alive and, as always, what Sirius wanted was worth more than conscience and law and duty. Nothing had changed, for the three of them anyway, since they were at Hogwarts. Sirius was still cocky and reckless, Peter still took directions from more powerful people than himself, and Remus still ignored his conscience for the sake of his irresponsible friends. Worse, now his friends were both dead, and he still could not tell them no. The only thing that had changed was now Remus had learned to hate his weakness. But still Remus knew he would not deny Sirius anything he asked; he could only hope that he grew a spine before Sirius asked him for something immoral, or possibly illegal.
* * *
Interesting Note: Sirius's vault number actually is 711, according to my French copy of PoA. Here's the quote for those of you who read French.
…Je leur ai dit de prendre l'or dans le coffre numéro 711 de Gringotts. C'est le mien.
Why that didn't make it into the English-language editions I don't know, but I'm taking it as canon.
Acknowledgments:
Thanks to Kurohyou for the idea of Sirius's enchanted diary, and for general discussion of OotP, which should prove helpful in writing this story.
And to Ruth, because she is not afraid to tell me what I need to do.
Please tell me what you think of the story by using the handy review feature, and I will see you in a few days.
^^^