A Star In A World Of Candles
by Lacrimula Falsa
Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the X-Men universe. Written as a writing exercise, not to make profit.
Summary: Finding his mind was like finding the sun. (An exercise for writing in second person. 500 words, one-shot.)
~You feel him in the water, his mind a star in a world of candles.~
When you tell him that he is not alone what you mean is 'your mind is the most beautiful thing I have ever felt'.
You drag a treasure out of the water that day, but that treasure is hidden under layers of crumbling metal, acid gnawing at the steel walls of that beautiful, beautiful mind. You're afraid of what will happen if those walls break down.
So you do your best to wash away the acid (take away his pain even if you know it will stay with him forever and what a naive fool that makes you but you can't care, not when he smiles), or dilute it at least, with happiness and safety and good memories.
When you tell him about rage and serenity what you mean is 'you don't have to hurt all the time' and 'it breaks my heart when you drown in your pain because you are too proud to ask for help'.
And he sleeps and he drinks and eats and runs and he is still breathing and you feel like this is your greatest achievement in life, that the world's cruelty has not taken this man.
But with sleep come the nightmares, and that is when you feel closest to losing him. (Finally, forever and you can't think about it becoming real because the thought alone steals the breath from your lungs.)
When you tell him that crying doesn't make him weak, what you mean is 'I wish I could give you all those lost years back'.
But there are limits even to your power, the one he calls 'god-like' without jest.
Sometimes you can sense that he fears you. It's telling of how well he understands what you could do.
(Have done, that one time when you thought you would go mad from the screams of a lost boy calling for a dead mother).
He nearly kills you once, caught in memory and tearing the room (the world) apart like a wrathful god.
And you think that you wish you could give him a life that contained less helpless rage and more joy. (Only maybe not, because you are selfish and then you might never have known him.)
When you tell him that war cannot be the answer what you mean is 'you will never feel safe if you go to war and it will break you'.
When you tell him you wish you had known his mother what you mean is 'I wish I could have shown her your mind' and 'maybe she would know, how to keep you from destroying yourself' and 'maybe her love would have been enough'.
And when you lie in the sand with pain burning away reason and tell him that "You did this." what you mean is 'YOU broke my heart'.
~Because finding his mind was like finding the sun, and without it you will live in the darkness forever.~