A/N: Found some old short stories (from 2005) in a notebook and decided to publish them. This is set in season 2 so I'm pretty sure the voices of the characters are different from the later seasons of the show. Anyhow, enjoy!

Original story date: 10/21/05

McKay sat on the laboratory stool, not standing triumphantly as he usually did, but more defeated and tired. Sheppard stalked into the lab, hands in his pockets with an impatient air about him.

"McKay, this better be good," he said and then noticed that his friend was suspiciously quiet. "What's wrong?"

The scientist looked up at him with big soulful eyes, "I don't know… what this is!"

It seemed like he was choking on his words. The very sound of it was like acid to his ears. The words "I don't know" coming from the great Rodney McKay? Inconceivable.

Yet, there they were, exposed for the whole entire universe to hear and mock.

Sheppard hopped onto the table, "McKay, what don't you know what it is?"

McKay half-heartedly pushed a box toward the colonel. Sheppard peered into it. Inside was a small, golden television-like monitor with a twisted antennae springing from the top and a crank on the side.

"Don't you dare say it's a TV," McKay hissed, "I tried that already…"

Putting his hands in the box, Sheppard scooped up the small device. After observing the device font and back and weighing it in both hands, he simply said, "A 'what-if' machine."

"What?" McKay exclaimed. "Put that back. You're worse than me."

"No doubt about it. It's a 'what-if' machine," the colonel said matter-of-factly.

McKay looked up at him and sputtered, "A 'what-if' machine? Where in the world do you come up with these names? First, it was the 'smell-o-scope' then the 'fing-longer' and now this! What kind of moron name is a 'what-if' machine?"

Sheppard raised an eyebrow. Now this definitely sounded like the Rodney McKay he knew, unfortunately.

"Whoa there, I can take your insults about me, but never ever insult the names."

McKay stood up now. He managed to find his ego again.

"Now what, pray tell, is your devotion to these idiotic names?"

"Has the Chief Scientific Officer never seen the most awesome science-fiction cartoon ever created? You've never watched 'Futurama'?" Sheppard said and repeated, "'Futurama'!"

McKay rolled his eyes as if to say he really didn't have time for this.

"No, I have not watched –"

Before he could complete his sentence, Sheppard continued, "You know, from the creator of 'The Simpsons'?"

"Okay, so it's 'The Simpsons'. I could care less—"

"No, it's on a totally different level than 'The Simpsons'. Don't get me wrong. I love both shows but 'Futurama' was just brilliant. A pizza delivery guy gets frozen and travels 1,000 years into the future. There's even a character you would like. He's a scientist and he's old, senile and a genius."

"Oh, I see," McKay said, "It's time traveling again just like the atrocity that was 'Back to the Future'."

Sheppard shook his head, "McKay, you haven't even heard of this show? It's tailor made for geeks like you."

"Why do you watch it then?"

"It's funny."

McKay, hands on hips, muttered, "Somehow, I know our humor is about the same as our IQs."

"Then you might like it after all," Sheppard said with a smirk.

McKay grabbed the device and placed it back into the box. He glared at the colonel.

"I should be getting back to my real work."

"Fine, but when you're done, I've got to tell you more about 'Futurama'," Sheppard said as he turned and walked out of the room.

McKay was about to give a retort but the colonel was already gone.

Alone, he gazed at the gold contraption and muttered, "A 'what-if' machine? Nobody's gonna believe that."

The End