Title: Never Enough
Summary: Edward was killed in Eclipse and now Bella is on the brink of despair and ready to die. A story of tragedy told from Jacob's eyes.
Disclaimer: We do not own the characters or the story that we manipulated to come up with this creation.
Rating: M
Warning: The ending of this contains suicide and is slightly graphic; as such it may not be suitable for everyone.
Pairing: Bella/Edward
Word Count: 1307
A/N: This story is the non-entry that The Darkness has written. The Darkness consists of Jacque Lee Smith, Tish Lian Smith, and Jadiona. We wrote this story as a collaborative piece which is the reason for the strange point of view. The Bella/Edward pairing comes from Jadiona, the tragedy comes from Jacque Lee Smith, and the point of view comes from Tish Lian Smith. We hope you enjoy reading this tragic one-shot as much as we enjoyed writing it.
This story was initially posted on a combined account back in 2010 that my brother and I created, but my brother no longer is actively working with Twilight, and as such I cleaned up that old account. My sister passed away shortly before this story was originally published, one of several people lost that year.
Warning part 2: As this story contains suicide we strongly suggest that if you or someone you know has attempted or succeeded in committing suicide recently that you do not read this. If you or someone you know is considering suicide get help, suicide is never the answer. 1 800 275 TALK (8755)
Thanks: Special thanks to Kimmydonn and pineandapple from PTB for being betas to this story.
Never Enough
Jacob POV
My love for Bella had never been enough. If this now wasn't proof of that, I didn't know what was. It had been two weeks since we had fought against the newborns, two weeks since Seth and Edward had destroyed Victoria and her goon, two weeks since Seth had accidentally killed Edward. Bella had never left the spot of Edward's death.
Though even now, in all this pain, she forgave Seth. She never blamed him, but she wasn't going to leave Edward, even in death. There was always someone watching over her, one of the Cullens or one of us. I could tell she knew that we were here, in the shadows, watching her pain.
It was the reason I had chosen to come today, because any of the others would try to stop her, and I wasn't going to. She had been grieving for two weeks, and it was clear in my mind that this was the end. Part of me, some foolish part, hoped she would look my way and say that I was enough for her, but I knew the truth, I would never be enough.
I remembered the snap in Seth's mind when he couldn't take the scent of another vampire in the area. We hadn't had enough time to stop him, for the fire had already been built and burning. The change in Seth had happened so fast that even Edward hadn't been able to fight back. It had been all of an instant and then Seth was all instinct, and somehow, after everything, Bella had been able to forgive Seth.
It didn't help Seth's guilt though. He'd been up here watching Bella, trying to make up for it in the only way he could. If he knew what I did about Bella, he would be up here today and would surely be trying to stop her, but I knew the reality of this. There was no way to stop this from occurring, but I knew that everyone else, even the Cullens, would try and stop it.
It had taken Edward dying for me to see just how perfect Bella and Edward were together. I had seen it the instant it was too late and I wondered why I hadn't seen it sooner. But now I understood why I was never enough.
Some of the ashes had stirred from the dead fire, due to the wind, but most of the ashes were still there; who knew how much of it was Edward's. Bella was knelt in front of the ashes, just looking at it. If her lifeless eyes now saw anything that was.
It was painful watching her, knowing what I knew. I could see now what I wish I had seen from the beginning. She loved Edward more than her own life, that much was clear. I knew she would easily have given up her own life to let Edward live. I could see that now.
This was why she could never move on with me when he was gone. She had always been meant for him and I was never enough, never would be. In many ways, the bond between Edward and Bella had been similar to a werewolf's imprint, and the way Bella now mourned her loss was similar to how the folk tales explained Taha Aki's grief upon the third wife's death.
I had to wonder why I hadn't been able to see all this before, and I had to ask myself if Edward would still be alive if I had stayed instead of Seth. Sam and the rest of the pack had heard me ask this question mentally several times, they all have come to the same conclusion that it is better this way, for now she can live out a human life. I knew better, because the truth of what had happened was right in front of me. When Edward had died, so had Bella.
It was why I was here. I knew that she was done kneeling and mourning. The time for that was over, and it was now time for her to make her next move. Unfortunately, since I wasn't enough, I already knew what her next move would be.
I was here to witness and nothing more. I knew quite well that the Cullens would be angry at me for not trying to stop her, and I knew that there was a chance I would be banned from La Push and the pack for this. But I had to give her this because there was one promise that was burned into my mind. A promise that I had made to Edward several hours after our last spoken word. I had promised him that should ever anything happen to him, I would protect Bella to my last breath, no matter what form that protection took on.
Standing here, now, I knew this was the only protection I could give her. I could protect her by allowing her to die without trying to stop her. I could protect her by allowing her to join her mate. For that was what Edward was, he was her mate. I wished there was some other way to protect her. But this truly was the only way, as I wasn't going to break a promise.
I moved slightly closer to Bella as I watched. I didn't know how she intended to kill herself but I knew she did. It had been her plan ever since Edward died, and I knew she would enact it soon. I wasn't wrong.
Bella didn't turn around, but her voice carried clear as crystal. "Jacob, I know it's you that's here. You're the only one that doesn't bother trying to talk sense into me. I sort of wonder why; the rest, they all want me to leave–want me to leave him and go on. I wonder what it is you see that they don't. What is it that you recognize now that you could never acknowledge before? I suppose it doesn't matter, it's too late now. I think you know that, don't you?"
With each of Bella's words, my heart was destroyed a little more, but I knew each word was true, for once; she was speaking her heart without thinking of others' feelings. Like she said, it was too late now. I didn't speak, swallowing my words, letting them die, because there was nothing I could say.
She pulled something off the ground, a sharp, jagged rock that used right would certainly kill her quickly. My eyes drew to the weapon that I knew would be her demise, before returning to look at her head as she spoke again.
"I need you to tell Seth that none of this was his fault. Edward and I are meant to be together forever, it just so happens that our time together isn't here. Tell my father I love him and I'm sorry. Tell the Cullens that this was how it had to happen. And Jacob, for what it's worth, I do love you. I know that isn't worth much right here and now though."
She didn't give me time to think over what she had just said. I closed my eyes as she shoved the jagged rock into her chest. In the next moment, I heard her heart splutter, trying to fight against what she had done to herself. Her heart constricted several times before stopping, and then the thud of her body falling to the ground proceeded.
Tears ran down my face as my body shook from the great pain filling my body. The pain took over, and I changed to my wolf form. I chanced a look at the now bloody ground with Bella's dead form lying there.
Then I let out a piercing howl of sheer agony.