Author's Note:Based on a conversation between tumblr user jossgreymark and myself the other day that grew into inspiration for a slightly crack!universe and ideas for several semi!drunk Kabby one shots (to be posted at a later date!)
This story is pretty random, and different from what I usually write but I was inspired. Very silly in places but I had a blast writing it! Let me know what you think, reviews make my day! Enjoy...
It starts, as things sometimes do, with an argument. Things pretty much escalate from there.
The initial fight, between Bellamy and Clarke, is loud enough to draw the attention of everyone in the vicinity; her mother and Kane included. There are insults thrown and Bellamy storms out of the cabin right into the path of Kane and Abby, a thunderous look on his face.
Clarke follows straight after, shouting and cursing her boyfriend. It appears to all who overhear that Bellamy has been spending more time with Anya planning new defenses than with Clarke, which frustrates the younger girl no end. (It seems that Bellamy had promised Clarke a romantic walk in the forest the night before and promptly forgot… this is clearly an unforgivable offense.)
Kane makes an attempt to calm everyone down, citing that Bellamy was obviously sorting out something important and that's why he forgot.
"But," he assures, looking Bellamy in the eye as if to say 'just do what I suggest and the shouting will stop', "I'm sure he'd be happy to go out tonight instead? I'll even cover his shift on the security rota."
And so begins argument number two.
This time, it's Abby who shouts, because Marcus has barely spent 20 minutes with her since he started the new security roster and it's not fair that they have to give up their evening together because Bellamy screwed up.
Bellamy is thusly insulted and storms off (wisely not saying a word to the woman who is essentially his mother-in-law).
Marcus is clearly furious at the whole situation and opens his mouth to say something. However, when he sees the look on Abby's face he stops, gestures after Bellamy and merely states: "I'll just go after him shall I?" before wandering off in search of the younger man. Clarke and Abby just glare after them.
Xx~xX
Kane finds Bellamy leaning against one of the trees on the outskirts of the camp, a small flask in his hand. He doesn't say anything as he takes a seat next to the other man, and graciously accepts the flask. As he takes a deep pull of the liquid, it immediately becomes apparent to Kane that Monty Green's moonshine has become more potent since he last tasted it.
"I screwed up huh?" Bellamy is quiet as he stares at the ground.
"Pretty much," Kane answers shrugging.
"I should go apologize."
"Probably. I've found it's normally the best course of action."
"Sometimes she just makes me so angry," Bellamy confides suddenly. "It was an accident and I don't think of Anya like that; she's with Finn for God's sake. Clarke's blown the whole thing completely out of proportion."
Kane nods, and hands the flask back before he speaks.
"Still, I've learnt the hard way that both Griffin women are stubborn and likely to be correct most of the time. I think the easiest option for the two of us in the long run is to just do what we're told."
Bellamy hums in agreement before adding: "And not forget dates."
"Yes," Kane says astutely, "try not to do that."
The two of them wander back to camp to find their partners and apologize.
Xx~xX
The following week, Bellamy and Kane happen to be on patrol at the same time. When Kane enquires after Clarke he gets a frustrated sigh in return.
"She still hasn't forgiven me for last week. I mean, it's better and I'm actually allowed to sleep in the same room now, but I think she's just in a nagging mode at the moment."
Kane nods in understanding and, as soon as they've finished their last security sweep, he silently hands Bellamy a flask of moonshine and watches as the younger boy takes a hearty swig from it.
"How about Clarke's Mom?"
"She's fine. Demanding that I change the rota again to give us more time together though."
"Are you going to?"
"I'll do what I can, but Abby knows I have limited options. She understands, even if she doesn't agree."
Bellamy remains quiet as they continue to drink and talk for the next hour. It's a productive time as they discuss the pros (and the few cons) of being involved with such strong willed women.
Xx~xX
Kane sees that the two of them are on patrol together every Thursday, because as much as they love their respective girlfriends occasionally they just need to vent about the women they are involved with. They mutually decide that while they have voluntarily gotten into relationships with the Griffin women, sometimes they're a bit overwhelming.
One or other of them always brings a flask of moonshine that they share. They discuss any problems that have arisen in their respective relationships over the previous week (within reason; some things should remain private after all). They find that if there aren't any issues they merely talk about how great, yet slightly frightening, the Griffin women actually are.
Kane and Bellamy both appreciate the regular opportunity to get their issues and frustrations with their partners off their chest, and the two men find themselves becoming, well, not friends, but at least able to handle each other's company for a prolonged period of time without fighting. They decide, one evening as they're wandering back to camp, to make their meetings a regular thing.
And thus begins the weekly "Boys' Night."
Xx~xX
"Where have you been?" Abby asks three weeks later as the two of them return late on a Thursday. She is leaning against the side of the cabin, arms folded across her chest, while Clarke is loitering nearby. Kane freezes and looks at Bellamy beside him. They haven't had that much to drink, but they know that any false move will land them in hot water. He doesn't hesitate to answer.
"Security issues," he says simply.
"Yeah," Bellamy continues, latching onto the white lie like his life depends on it (it probably does). "We heard reports of Reapers nearby so we did a thorough sweep of the perimeter together to see if there were any weaknesses."
The two of them had done that this evening, but it was 3 hours ago but what they don't know won't hurt them…
The two Griffin women seemed pleased at this announcement. They're just glad that their partners are able to get along so well now after the first couple of months where it seemed that only one of them would survive the constant showdowns and attempts to undermine the other.
"Any problems?" Abby asks, looking up at Marcus.
"None whatsoever," he says, before smiling slyly and moving towards the house. "I am incredibly tired though. Maybe time for bed?"
It's barely 10pm but Abby knows the look he's giving her and smiles right back. Clarke ignores the exchange because, well, TMI. She grabs Bellamy's hand and leads him home, erasing the sight of her Mom giggling and practically dragging Kane into their cabin from her mind.
Xx~xX
Kane and Bellamy agree to meet up every week at the same time after their usual shift together finishes. Their excuse to their partners is that they are now running weekly security walks of the perimeter. (They do this every week anyway, just on a Tuesday, but Abby and Clarke don't need to know that.)
Monty joins them one week. Well, he lingers after providing them with their required alcohol (because both Kane and Bellamy forgot to top up) and he just stays. Kane accepts the alcohol, offers Monty a seat and they drink. Bellamy sighs as he listens to Monty complain that Raven beat him at creating a portable drone for Sinclair and that he is feeling particularly sulky because he feels his girlfriend showed him up.
Still, it's nice having someone else to talk to about the incredibly capable bunch of women they have in the camp.
Xx~xX
The following Thursday Monty drags along Jasper and Finn. Monty is annoyed at Raven again, Finn is frustrated with Anya and Jasper is just lonely. Monty brings a larger bottle of more refined, stronger moonshine to share. He claims the five of them are going to be the test subjects before he unleashes the latest batch on the general population.
The new moonshine is potent to say the least.
They manage 2 drinks before they all get depressed and start lamenting about their relationships to each other.
Kane wonders when this became a group therapy session. He takes another drink and listens to Monty list all the reasons that Raven is perfect while Finn falls asleep on Jasper's shoulder...
Xx~xX
Kane brings along Wick and Sinclair to the next meeting because he is starting to feel a bit awkward hanging around with Abby's daughter's friends. Plus, he does actually have friends of his own, and they have girlfriends too and they clearly need an excuse to vent every once in a while.
By the eighth week, there are, on average, 16 men who turn up for Boys' Night every Thursday. Kane thinks it's all getting a little bit out of hand; he'd had to let everyone know where they were meeting this week using secret coded messages and he really doesn't like having to lie to Abby. He knows it's only a matter of time before she finds out, and he doesn't want to think about the consequences of an argument. He likes what he has with Abby, and really, really doesn't want to ruin it.
Still, by the time he's had his fifth shot he doesn't care about consequences and complains loudly to Bellamy and Sinclair that his life would be a lot easier if he didn't love Abby Griffin so damn much.
Xx~xX
Somewhere along the way, Lincoln ends up being dragged into the mix and proceeds to get incredibly drunk during his second Thursday meeting. Bellamy deposits him at his tent at the end of the night and leaves him to it, rushing back to see Clarke, safe in the knowledge that the girls do not know.
Xx~xX
The girls definitely know.
Xx~xX
It's Lincoln who finally exposes just what the boys have been up to on Thursday nights. It happens like this:
Octavia looks up as Lincoln half walks, half stumbles into their cabin. He doesn't say anything, barely even acknowledges her, which is definitely unusual.
"Babe?" she calls out, and she finally has his attention.
"Uh, hey," he replies, squinting likes he can't quite see her.
"How was patrol?" She wonders if everything was ok when he was checking the perimeter; he's been gone for hours…
"Huh?" Lincoln isn't particularly responsive, Octavia notes. His eyes are unfocused, he's slightly swaying; she realizes she's seen that look before…
"Lincoln, are you drunk?" she asks, getting up to look him in the eye (well, as much as she can).
"Yes," he answers honestly as he frowns at her, clearly confused, "but it's Bellamy's fault. He provided me with potent alcohol and made me drink it. I hate him."
"Oh you do not," Octavia comments, rolling her eyes and practically dragging him to their bedroom. "You and Bellamy get on fine now so don't start that. We'll continue this conversation in the morning when you're lucid… and probably hung-over."
Lincoln doesn't reply, having passed out on the bed. Octavia isn't sure whether he heard a word she said.
The next morning he wakes up with a horrific hangover and, in between complaining that his head is going to explode and looking like he is about to vomit, he duly reveals all about the Thursday meetings. Octavia doesn't say anything, just leaves him to sleep off his hangover.
She immediately goes to find Abby and Clarke.
"They're having secret meetings!" Octavia explains gleefully, helping herself to another handful of the berries that are half scattered across Abby's kitchen counter. "It's like a little boys club… isn't it adorable?!"
"But why?" Clarke asks, watching as her Mom attempts to put the multitude of ingredients spread across the kitchen into a pastry. Her Mom is good at many things, but baking is not one of them.
"To bitch about us I think. At least, that's what Lincoln said. Also, drinking games and immature dares were involved, but they came later apparently."
"And Marcus was involved in this?" Abby enquires, looking up at the younger girls.
"Mm-hmm," Octavia hums in reply. "Lincoln says he's the one 'in charge'." She waggles her fingers for air quotes. "Well, him and Bellamy. They're the two who started the whole thing."
"Right," Abby says simply, and Clarke can see that her Mom has a tic going on in her cheek. It's the same one she used to get when her Dad did something really stupid. Clearly Kane is going to be in a lot of trouble when he gets back from patrol.
"I can't believe I didn't figure it out!" Clarke utters suddenly, clearly annoyed with herself.
"Meh," Octavia waves a vague hand in her direction, "you guys were happy to believe that your boys were finally spending quality time together and getting along. You just didn't think about the other 20 or so guys who all disappeared at the same time every Thursday…"
"Be that as it may," Abby interjects, clearly as frustrated with herself as her daughter is, "I can't believe Marcus didn't tell me. It's not as if they're doing anything wrong."
"Apart from the fact that there are probably a couple of underage kids drinking copious amounts of alcohol every Thursday…" Octavia points out.
"Yes, apart from that," Abby sighs, the tic going tenfold.
"And the fact that we probably would have never found out what they were up to if it wasn't for my amazing boyfriend who actually tells me stuff," Octavia continues, then cringes at the identical glares she receives from the Griffins.
"So what do we do?" Clarke asks eventually, watching as her Mom attempts to calm herself. Octavia pulls out a bottle of moonshine from her pocket and waves it at the other two women.
"I'm thinking; if you can't beat them, join them?"
Clarke thinks that Octavia always has the best ideas.
And thus begins "Girls' Night".
Xx~xX
So every Thursday night suddenly entails a new routine for some of the guys and girls in the camp who are in relationships, with the boys drinking and moaning and the girls drinking just as much and grumbling even more.
Everyone is happy, even though no one actually speaks openly about what occurs on a Thursday. It's the camps biggest open secret.
Things carry on, relationships continue to blossom and the camp is a delightful place to live.
Until Jasper falls out of a tree and breaks his arm when completely wasted. Then all hell breaks loose.
Xx~xX
The subsequent argument between Kane and Abby becomes legendary. Mainly because it's played out in public in front of practically the whole camp but also because it results in Kane being thrown out of his and Abby's shared cabin, which is unprecedented. (Normally their fights are just an excuse for either angry sex, or make up sex; this is a well-known fact amongst the members of the camp and something that Clarke chooses to ignore for the sake of her sanity...)
Kane stays with Wick and is in a particularly foul mood with just about everybody. Apart from Abby. He just ignores her.
Thursday Nights are promptly cancelled for the foreseeable future.
Xx~xX
Two weeks later and everyone in the camp is tense because 'Mom and Dad' are still fighting. Kane has managed to piss off everyone in the camp with his attitude and they all give him a wide berth when he's out in public (although the boys still give him a sympathetic look every time they have to walk past him, as if they know the blame partially lies with them, Bellamy especially.)
Abby refuses to talk to anyone about Kane, even Clarke, who has had her own argument with Bellamy about the incredibly poor idea it was to have the stupid meetings. Bellamy had quickly agreed and soon they were back to arguing about the normal things, like washing up and whose turn it was to clean the weapons.
Xx~xX
Some people begin to be cautiously optimistic for a resolution to the extreme awkwardness in the camp when Kane and Abby are spotted having a discussion on the outskirts of town a week later. Hopes are quickly dashed when Abby is heard to shout something along the lines of "All for morale my ass! Do you really think I'm that gullible Marcus?"
Clearly Kane's response is either insulting or just a really stupid thing to say judging by the slap he receives before he storms off.
Miller makes the mistake of walking across Kane's path as he returns to Security. He is subsequently put on latrine duty for a month and everyone in the camp actively avoids Kane at all costs through fear of the punishment he might dole out next.
Xx~xX
The situation drags on for weeks. Morale in the camp is at an all-time low; tensions are high and everyone becomes particularly nervous every time Kane and Abby are seen together. (It appears that Kane is making frequent attempts to apologize. Apparently his strategy isn't working because he is still bunking with Wick…)
Eventually though, Jasper's arm heals and then, unexpectedly, out of the blue, everything changes.
Xx~xX
One day, Kane smiles at Monty when asking him a question. He then laughs at something Sinclair says to him.
Everyone is pretty much confused, and they all wonder if their leader is about to go off the deep end and massacre everyone (they've always had their suspicions…)
Later in the afternoon, however, Kane and Abby are seen out together, holding hands no less, and the whole camp breathes a sigh of relief.
Xx~xX
Everything in the camp returns to normal following Kane and Abby's make up. No one knows the exact details of what Kane did to earn her forgiveness, but rumors range from groveling to flowers to a 24 hour vigil outside her cabin. Whatever Kane did is pretty irrelevant when it comes down to it; the fact of the matter is that the horrible air of tension is gone and everyone is happy to get on with their days to day duties.
To everyone's great surprise, Thursday nights are soon given the go ahead to start up again, and at the first Boys' Night, Kane explains why.
"Abby and I agreed on some rules for the Thursday night meetings. There's now a limit on alcohol consumption and someone needs to stay sober each week to prevent any more accidents."
He looks at Jasper at this, and he has the sense to look at least a little guilty.
Kane lists some of the other stipulations that Abby had agreed to. ("Those who are underage are to be provided with juice. Jasper is banned from taking part in any dares. Monty is not allowed to provide the groups with his extra strength moonshine more than once a month….")
It's a reasonably short list and when Kane finishes everyone readily agrees to follow the new rules, wary of the consequences; no one wants a repeat of before. Everything from then on works out pretty well and the Thursday night meetings become the first in a long line of new traditions for the camp.
Xx~xX
(The real truth is that the rules are mainly ignored by both groups in the end, but Abby had just wanted an excuse to take Marcus back after their fight. She never, however, reveals to him that this was the real reason behind her acquiescence; she has her pride after all.)
End