Chapter 1: By Fire Light

"My heart is beating hoping that kiss will not become a scar."

His words just kept pounding into her head over and over. She didn't want the night to end like this with her last words being: "Could you, Anakin, could you live like that?"

She felt terrible proclaiming to him: "that she had more important things to do then fall in love".

Padme Naberri knew why she said it, and it wasn't because she didn't love him; it was because she loved him too much. She believed every word he had confessed to her; she couldn't bear to hurt him. But like she said: "Jedi are not allowed to marry". Padme was there on Tatooine when Anakin had to part with his mother. She knew how hard that was for him. Anakin Skywalker had been through a tough life as a slave, and now he was being tormented by his feelings for her. The last thing she wanted to do was bring any more confusion, and aguish into his life. He had left his mother to train to be a Jedi. She was not going to let him throw that sacrifice away. Why did her life have to always be about duty and sacrifices? She had found that she was happier, and more alive in the

short time that they had spent together with him as her bodyguard then any other time in her life. She didn't want it to end now. She wanted to be with him, wanted to kiss him again, and she wanted to make love to him. Make love, the words sounded foreign to her, probably because the most she had experienced emotionally or physically was kissing. From what she could gather, it was the same for Anakin. In fact she would bet her life that their kiss was the first ever for him.

Up until the moment she had seen him again in her apartment in Coruscant she had thought of him only as a little boy. Now, wow was all she could come up with. He had grown to become the most handsome, and sexiest man she had ever had the privilege to lay eyes on; with not to mention the most beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen. Padme was convinced that if you looked into them long, and deep enough; you could see heaven. And what made him the sexiest above all other men was the way he would look, and talk to her. "Grown more beautiful" rolled off his lips and she was putty in his hands to mold and play with.

Those hands.. Her mind drifted to earlier to when she felt him stroke her arm and her back. She could still hear his heavy breathing; it took everything in her to hold back her desire for him on that balcony overlooking the lake. But now she was sick and tired of holding back because after all she was a grown 24 year old woman, and he a grown man.

Would it be so terrible to give into their desires and enjoy each other, even if it's only just for one night? Padme was torn between two parts of herself: the one who played by the rules all of her young life, and the woman who was dying to escape. This was a part of Padme that no one knew, not even her. It was the part of her that had suddenly been awakened by his presence. Her whole body and soul was on fire from that kiss.

She didn't know what to do. Give into the angel or the devil, or maybe something in between?

"You're right, it would destroy us" his words bringing her back to reality.

"But I can't help how I feel, I don't care what the rules say or how hard it would be, I'd live that lie for you. But if you don't love me or won't love me then I guess you won't live it for me" he said with hurt in his eyes".

She stood frozen at his words.

"I'm sorry my lady, I guess it's best if we say good night" he said as he turned to walk out.

"Ani wait, don't leave like this".

"Like what Padme?"

"Maybe, maybe that kiss doesn't have to become a scar"?

"What do you mean "?

"I don't know what I mean I just know that I can't forget about that kiss".

"I can't either".

"Then let's see where the night takes us Ani."

"All right" he said puzzled, but excited at the same time.

"I'm in the mood for some wine". She said as she took his hand and led him towards the kitchen.

The lake retreat was dark and quiet as Anakin and Padme walked together towards the kitchen. There was something so wonderful, and almost forbidden knowing that they were the only one's awake. To them it felt like they were the only two people awake on the planet, in the universe. They had now stepped into their own little hidden world only they could unlock the door to.

She led him into a huge kitchen; which in the day time flooded lots of light from the windows over marble countertops and gold fixtures. She grabbed two goblets and a bottle of red wine from the rack. Padme had no idea what she was doing and loved it. She was feeding into the naughty side of her; which she suspected began with her choice of attire she had picked earlier in the evening. She was wearing the sexiest thing she had pulled out of her closet and for that matter out of her wardrobe. Why had she worn it? Maybe because it's tight, black, and shows your cleavage off for his eyes to feast on? Was she trying to tease him, torture him? He had made no secret from his manner and his hot eyes that he was turned on every time he looked at her up and down. It pleased her to know that she had this almost magical power over him.

"Do you like red wine Anakin"?

"I never had it; Obi-Wan wouldn't allow it." He says, "A Jedi must keep his mind clear and untainted". He said with a mocking tone. The Jedi don't allow drinking; they're too afraid you might get intoxicated".

"Well I don't think a little wine will hurt; it can be quite soothing if you don't over indulge. I like having wine sometimes before I go to bed it calms my nerves after a long strenuous day. The life of a senator can really get to me sometimes".

"I know what you mean; the life of a Jedi can as well. Don't get me wrong I love it, I do but there are things about being a Jedi I didn't bargain for".

"Like what?" she said softly.

"Well for one thing I can't just hop in my speeder and take off whenever I have the impulse. I have to always tell Obi-Wan where I'm going and when I'll be back. And I'm sick of it, and it's going to change from now on. I'm going to be a Jedi soon, and then I'll have more freedom to come and go as I please. I'm tired of being treated, and looked upon like I'm still a little kid being pulled back and forth on Obi-Wan's leash."

"I know what you mean, I feel like that too sometimes with my responsibilities as a Senator. Everyone expects so much, and there's just so much that you can give.

But I'm sure Obi-Wan would be sad to know you feel this way. I'm sure he doesn't see you that way."

"I'm not so sure about that".

"He loves you Ani I know he does I can feel it".

"Yeah I know he does, I do too he's the closest thing to a father I've ever had. He and I both know that".

"And like a father he loves you, and wants what he thinks is best for you".

"I know, I know, but I also miss Master Qui-Gon".

"Yes he was a good man. I'm glad I had the privilege to know him, and he was right about me trusting his instincts about you". As a queen I think I was a little hard on him".

"Well you were just thinking of your people; you're a very giving, and loving person.

I just wish Master Qui-Gon would have warned me."

"Warned you about what?

"That being in love with that beautiful, amazing girl that walked into Watoo's junk shop would be so difficult and confusing all these years later. That I couldn't be with her the way I wanted because of the rules of the Jedi order" he said starring into her eyes intensely.

"I know Anakin; I know I care very much for you. I don't know what to do about it, but do we have to figure it out right now? We have the whole night ahead of us".

"That we do my lady; so what should we toast to"?

"How about to old friends" she smiled at him.

"And new beginnings" he finished as he clinked his glass gently to hers.