It's Movie Night on Starkiller Base again. I own nothing, these characters belong to Lucasfilms and Disney and I am just playing with the toys. I do not believe these characters would behave this way in canon, it is meant to be taken as humor and satire only.
Hux looked over the synopsis of yet another required watching. They seemed to be a weekly event these days, but it helped keep the morale up on Starkiller Base. They would be going off into space later in the week on the Finalizer, and he wanted to get this out of the way. Apparently, the current holofilm put together for their viewing pleasure would entail the rebel insurgence that led to the destruction of the first Death Star. Having taken years to complete, it was done in by the rebellion. This particular film didn't showcase that feat, but did contain some of what went into it's first testing and the rebellion's own stealing of said plans. It had a weakness, which was later found to be the work of a traitor. The idea made Hux angry. Maybe we all could learn from this. Maybe. Popcorn would be out. He wasn't going to endure another incident with Ren spilling popcorn and butter all over his head. It would have to be ration bars and water. He could say it was mealtime, replace say the end of day meal with the ration bars saving valuable time. He wasn't really sure that Ren should even come to this presentation, Supreme Leader had not insisted on his presence this time, but who knows what trouble Ren would get into if he was left wandering the base without any of the rest of the higher command personnel. Mitaka had requested to not be seated next to Ren, and Hux put it under consideration, but then forgot, well not forgot, more like disregarded his request.
"Attention. Settle down, please. I said settle down! Here we are again looking at another piece of history. This particular footage takes place mainly during the testing period of the completed Death Star. I know Phasma in particular will be pleased, as she herself was interested in those particular weapons and their use." Phasma does a little raising and tightening of the fist in the front row. "As you remember from last time, popcorn seems to be a bit of a struggle for some of you." He looks towards Ren "So this time, as to not deny you your sustenance, will will be providing ration bars and water to everyone watching. Again, make sure you clean up after yourself. Note some of the vicious acts of terrorism done by the rebel alliance and also many of the traitorous activities done by members who were not loyal to the Empire, yet should have been. May we spit on their memories forever. Ren, you will be pleased to know that Darth Vader in his full glory was promised to also be in this holo, and I am sure you will appreciate that. At least the synopsis said there would be. Without further waiting, I give you the story of the traitors of Rogue One."
"What planet is that?" Someone asked in the back.
"Well, that's an Imperial Shuttle. Not much different from the ones we use. Just a bit older." A pilot said in the back.
"Who is this youngling? A girl? What year is this?" An officer said in the back.
"The beginning is a couple of years after the beginnings of the Empire, apparently, a bit of a flashback." Hux answered.
"That man in the screen is Saw Gerrera, known terrorist. Galen Erso was a scientist who worked on the Death Star and that is his family. You should know that most of the film takes place some years later, in the time before the Death Star was blown up." Hux said.
"We will see the destruction of the Death Star in this film?" Phasma asked.
Ren sinks into his seat.
"No, apparently not." Hux states.
Ren sits up relieved.
"We will be getting that footage though at a later date, I believe." Hux says.
Ren sinks back down again and groans.
"Would you look at this. Hugs, Hugs people. So much sentimentality." Hux sneers.
"What is that around her neck. Not this Force stuff again?" A stormtrooper says in the back.
Ren gets up, looks back. "Who said that?"
The stormtroopers keep quiet.
"Who said that?" Ren asks.
"Oh Ren, sit down." Hux says.
"There will be no disrespect of the Force. Do you understand? If I hear it again, I will show you the Force!" then Ren sits down.
"Cowardly child. She is running to hide. Pitiful." Hux says. "This is Orson Krennic."
"Just what is this fool woman doing?" Phasma says. "Just leave her child alone? Horrible mother." Phasma says.
"Well, it's not like he didn't offer her a chance. She could have had a good life. What was her problem. Now her child is out there as an orphan, instead of having a comfortable life in the Empire. Sad." Hux states. "So very sad. Maybe would have gotten an education that would rival Ren's New Republic education."
Kylo Ren turns toward Hux, looking menacingly with his mask and tilt of the head.
"And now she has to live with that terrorist, when she could have been set up with a nice life." Phasma says.
"This looks like a rebel scum spy." Hux says.
"Oh so this is how the rebels found out about the Death Star! Hopefully some things will make sense. Do you believe the resistance knows about Starkiller Base?" Phasma asks.
"Not possible." Hux says.
"This spy is really good. Don't leave a man with information. I have a great respect for him." Ren says.
"The stormtroopers though, who is their captain? They are so inept. I am starting to believe the stormtroopers may be one of the main reasons the Empire collapsed." Phasma stated.
"This must be the Imperial traitor pilot. What is that thing with the tubes saying." Hux says.
"Hux, you have no respect for languages." Ren says.
"I suppose you know what that alien is saying." Hux says.
"Maybe I do. Maybe I do." Ren says.
"What? Do you get it from the Force." Hux says.
"I know a great many languages, it is of no concern to you." Ren says.
"I suppose it's all a part of your superior education to mine. I swear one day, Ren, I bet I find out you actually come from some alley scum." Hux says.
"Well, at least I'm not the bastard child of an Imperial bureaucrat and whatever he decided to lay with." Ren says.
"I will not have you talk about my father that way, Ren. The First Order owes a lot to him. I lost my mother very young, it still..." Hux starts to lose composure for just a second before he brings himself to his normal stoic manner.
"At least my parents were married to each other." Ren says.
"And whoever they were they ditched you with that Jedi, Ren. I'm really not surprised. I can barely put up with you." Hux stated.
"Sirs, please, I'm trying to watch the holofilm." Phasma says shaking her head and putting them in her armored hands.
Ren throws ration bars at Hux.
"Ah, a prison camp." Phasma notes.
"Yes, the glorious Empire had many of them. They were highly effective." Hux says.
"Oh here we are back to the ineffective Imperial stormtroopers. No wonder the Empire didn't survive." Ren says then he laughs "Congratulations, you are being rescued! That's rich!"
"Oh you like the droid? Did we ever find a droid for Ren? Anyone?" Hux says.
"I don't need a droid." Ren growls. "He's just amusing."
"Rebel headquarters. If the Empire only knew where they were hidden, well it turns out they did, but it became too late. Oh this is the youngling grown up. Now, I get why they showed her running." Phasma states.
"Is that who I think it is? The former New Republic chancellor?" Hux asks
"Yes, Mon Mothma." Ren says.
"It figures you would know, with your New Republic education." Hux sneers.
"This general, he isn't a great interrogator." Ren says.
"Well, I am sure no one in the rebellion had your special gifts." Hux says.
"Is that a compliment, Hux? Are you complementing me?" Ren says.
"Certainly not. Just drop it, Ren." Hux says.
"Even these terrorists think Saw Gerrera is a terrorist. That's tells you something." Phasma says. "He must be really bad if the terrorists think he is extreme."
"Just keep watching, Phasma." Hux says.
"So that Erso man is a traitor as well. Fascinating. How was it that the Empire couldn't find them and just exterminate them?" Phasma asks.
"I think you are really into this story, Phasma, perhaps we should put you on spy detail. You seem to be fascinated with it." Hux says.
"I have many talents, Hux, I can be of service to the First Order in various ways. Oh, that's the Senator from the other film, the one where they made the clones." Phasma says.
"Bail Organa, Viceroy of Alderaan" Kylo Ren says.
"Oh, now this makes sense. He was a traitor as well. Well, they took care of him and his planet. It's a shame they never got that Mon Mothma as well. I know they tried many times. Even after the rebel scum took charge." Hux said.
Ren certainly wasn't going to mention he had met her many times.
"And he's a reprogrammed Imperial droid. Those rebel scum are always stealing Imperial property. Disgusting." Hux said.
"No nonsense. 'You find him, you kill him then and there'" Phasma says.
"HA! The droid is jealous." Ren says.
"Oh you like this droid as well do you, Ren?" Hux said.
"I don't know this droid, Hux. Um, I mean, well, he's funny. Come on, no sense of humor, Hux. Really." Kylo Ren says.
"It's hard to tell if you have one with that helmet, Ren" Says Hux.
"Gerrara seems insane." Phasma states.
"This traitor can't wait to spill his intel. I hope they kill him." Hux says.
"Bor gullet? Hmmmm... I wonder if it would work better for the First Order than Ren in pulling out information from prisoners." Hux notes.
Ren turns his head towards his direction.
"There it is! The Death Star!" Phasma says with as much glee as Phasma can convey.
"The great Grand Moff Tarkin." Hux says awe.
"It really looks magnificent, Sir." Phasma says.
"Yes, yes indeed." Hux says.
"Kyber crystals? In that place? Why?" Phasma asks.
"Not anymore." Says Kylo Ren.
"How would you know, Ren?" Hux asks
"I just know, Hux." He says almost with a spitting tone.
"A droid that seems to have feelings." Phasma says.
"Oh you want a droid as well, Phasma?" Hux says.
"This Saw fellow isn't messing around!" laughs some officers in the back.
"I wonder how effective it is." says Hux.
"Hope. Ha. Built on hope. How pathetic." Phasma says with a laugh. "Stormtroopers pay attention. Don't behave like these troopers. They are inept fools."
"Must be the Temple of the Whills. I have heard of this place." Kylo Ren says.
"The what?" asks Mitaka.
"Oh, nevermind." then Kylo Ren elbows Mitaka.
"I shouldn't have said anything." Mitaka says.
Kylo Ren turns his head at Mitaka and does nothing.
"He knows she has that necklace? He's blind? How?" Hux asks
Kylo Ren sighs. "The Force, Hux. You can be so daft."
Hux rolls his eyes and clenches his fist.
"See, if you just waited, it would all be explained to you, HUX." Kylo Ren said.
"Snipers and insurgents everyone, surrounding the stormtroopers. Always know your surroundings. Pay attention." Captain Phasma calls out to her stormtroopers in the back. "Can they actually hit anything? I don't see many bodies, except for stormtroopers."
"They are aiming at them, at close range, but they don't get hit! What is it with these stormtroopers!" Hux asks. "This droid needs a mind wipe. Too independent. Well at least they got captured and the droid will get the much needed mind wipe. Good work, Imperial troops." Hux remarks.
"Now, this blind man is amazing. Great grasp of the Force, not a Jedi, see how he uses that stick." Kylo Ren leans in with his chin in his hands as he takes it in. "Chirrut took all of those stormtroopers with such ease. Stormtroopers, any stormtroopers..." He looks towards the back then looks forward again "Are no match for a trained Force user."
Captain Phasma groans and looks on.
"He has that stormtrooper shooting his own comrade, and he keeps doing it." Captain Phasma says almost in horror.
"Two men, that whole squad. Incompetence." Hux exclaims. "Oh it's tube man again."
Kylo Ren laughs. "He's blind and they put a hood on him! He's blind! The fools."
"I think you are enjoying this holofilm, Ren." Hux said.
"So far, at least. You promised me Darth Vader though. I haven't seen him." Kylo Ren said.
Hux sits nervously, hoping that Vader does indeed show up at some point. He doesn't want to do repairs when Ren gets in one of his moods.
"That star destroyer is so small. It's almost cute. A baby star destroyer." One of the officers in the back remarks.
His seatmates go "Awwwww" in mocking him.
"Twi'lek dancer." some stormtroopers in the back give each other a high five.
"Calm yourselves!" Captain Phasma says in a stern tone.
"Why does that man keep chanting?" Hux asks.
"Opening the door with praying?" Phasma asks.
"The Force. You have no faith. The Force is more powerful than any of you can imagine." says Kylo Ren annoyed.
"This Gerrara is a mess, there is barely anything left of him." Mitaka states.
Kylo Ren elbows him and he flinches.
"He dumped her. Is that like how your parents dumped you with that Jedi Skywalker, Ren?" Hux said.
Kylo turns his head towards him, picks up about ten ration bars and a glass of water using the Force, and then proceeds to dump it on Hux's head. Hux with great dignity, takes out a cloth from his pocket, wipes his face and sneers.
"He thinks she is there to kill him? He has a whole army of misfits there and he's worried about a little girl? He must be insane." Captain Phasma notes. "Ahhh the beautiful Death Star. It's glorious!"
"See how much more advanced that technology was compared to what the rebel alliance was using. It's truly amazing. It's not as great as our technology is now, but in comparsion to what those terrorists were using? It was state of the art." Hux remarks.
"Looks like the spy found his Imperial pilot." Ren remarks. "That beast must have done a number on him. If I interrogate someone, they at least are coherent, that is if I want them to be, Hux."
"Aw, Daddy loves her. Traitor." Hux says. "and a liar. This man is the reason the Death Star blew up, and that terrorist Jedi Skywalker."
Some officers in the back start crying. "It's so touching." one says.
"Control yourselves." Hux says.
"He just gave her all the information to blow that beautiful space station up. Unbelievable" Captain Phasma says.
"Yes, Krennic, it is beautiful!" Hux stands up then sits.
"Not very optimistic about the odds. Hilarious." Kylo Ren laughs under his mask.
"Jyn is kind of cute." Mitaka says, then scoots over the other side of the seat, realizing what he said. Kylo Ren does nothing. Mitaka relaxes and sits normally. 'Curious, Ren didn't elbow me.' He thought to himself.
"I must give him credit. Gerrara knew when to end. He took off his breathing device and waited for a noble death." Hux said.
"It's so beautiful from space." Phasma states.
Kylo Ren clutches his fists.
"Tarkin, a great man. Krennic usurped. He doesn't know who he was dealing with." Hux states.
"I think Chirrut felt it. The destruction of the city." Kylo Ren said.
"Idiot girl didn't get the holo. What a fool!" Phasma says.
"When I send a spy, I expect proof. Don't tell me what you heard, don't tell me what you saw, I want pictures. I want holos, I want evidence! That rebel spy should have killed her right there." Hux says in anger.
"But they still need her sir, to find her father." Mitaka says meekly.
Hux yells. "Lieutenant! Silence!"
"Yes, Sir." Mitaka says meekly.
"Hux, why do you have to give Mitaka such a hard time?" Kylo Ren asks.
"Me? Me? You know he specifically asked not to be seated with you! Someone get me some more water! You!" he points to an officer in the second row. "Get a few more pitchers of water in here!"
"Can we get popcorn, Sir?" The officer asks.
Hux starts to turn red then as loud as he can with his fists tightened and his arm straight against his body, yells ''NO!"
The officer meekly steps out to get more water. The audience gets quiet. They watch the rain on the screen.
Then Kylo Ren asks. "Where is Darth Vader?"
To be continued...