Title: Pirate Party
Rating: PG?
Author: Jen
Summary: It's a party aboard the SS Feathersword. Except the captain
doesn't seem to want his guests there at all.
Disclaimer: I'm slashing children's entertainers. I am clearly mentally
unstable and therefore cannot be held responsible for this blatant
copyright infringement.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Of all the days to hold a party, this was not the one Anthony would have picked. Clouds rolled overhead, turning the sky to a mess of grey instead of the brilliant blue that ordinarily matched his Wiggle sweater so perfectly.
Still, parties meant party food, and Anthony would brave even the worst of storms for the promise of sausages on sticks and crunchy munchy honey cakes, even though he carried his own picnic basket full of sandwiches. He only wished they could get there faster. But his Wiggle companions refused to move quicker than their usual arm-swinging stroll. To make matters worse, he could spy a junction ahead, which could mean only one thing.
"Uh-oh, we have to cross the road," announced Murray, coming to a complete stop. "What do we do now, Greg?" Anthony tried not to think about pushing the red Wiggle into the road. He couldn't help but groan, though as familiar music sprang up as if from nowhere.
"Stop at the lights, look both ways, look both ways again." His fellow Wiggles all quickly fell in line with Greg, copying his actions as the yellow Wiggle sang the safest way to cross the road. "Wait for the traffic to come to a stop, then cross the road with a friend!" Safety was all very well, but somehow it paled in comparison to the crunchy munchy honey cakes that Anthony knew would be waiting for him.
Five choruses later, they were finally across the road. Up above, the clouds rushed faster across the sky, and as they turned a corner they were hit full on by a blast of wind that almost knocked Anthony off his feet.
"Did we take a wrong turn into Windy Street?" he grumbled, his voice carried quickly away by the vicious bluster. Leaves skittered past his feet, and his pant legs whipped at his ankles like flags.
"Don't be silly," Greg laughed, "Windy Street is right on the other side of town!" The words Anthony muttered were very fortunately lost in the howl of the wind. "We're almost at the harbour now."
"There it is!" Murray pointed off into the distance, where one lone ship bobbed rhythmically on the water. Already Anthony was sure he could catch the scent of party food on the breeze, and he ignored the rabble of Wiggle complaints as he steamed ahead, eyes (and stomach) fixed firmly on his destination.
He was already onboard the SS Feathersword by the time Wiggles red, yellow and purple caught up with him.
"Why'd you go running off like that, Anthony?" Greg's voice was piqued with confusion, as though the thought of a Wiggle alone just didn't make sense. Fortunately, before he could answer, their host appeared on deck, alerted by their voices.
"Ahoy there!" Captain Feathersword bounced over, managing a smile that seemed almost wider than his face could possibly allow. His enthusiasm was uncontrollable as always, and just like the other three Wiggles, Anthony smiled automatically, but his smile drooped just a little when he realised there was no party food in sight. The captain greeted each Wiggle with a swish of his feathersword, making each one collapse into giggles at the persistent tickling. Despite his mild annoyance, Anthony couldn't help laughing too, but he made sure not to laugh too long. After all, if they had been invited to a Pirate Party, then there ought to be Pirate Party food. What did pirates eat at their parties, anyway?
He was just about to ask that same question when he was interrupted by a loud, "oh no!" from Murray. His heart sank at the thought of having to wait even longer, but he turned anyway to see what the problem was.
Behind him, Greg and Murray were standing with their hands raised in over- the-top despair, watching as Jeff somehow managed to stay upright on the rolling deck of the SS Feathersword, despite being fast asleep. His snores cut through the shrill wind, and drowned out Anthony's groan of frustration. Trust Jeff to find a way to be the centre of attention even while unconscious.
"We'd better wake him up," Greg declared with a nod. "After three, everybody. One, two three, wake up Jeff!" Murray and the captain joined in with enough enthusiasm to make up for Anthony's disgruntled silence.
Jeff's eyes snapped open, and immediately he began to stagger about the deck, arms flailing madly.
"I dreamt I was on a boat, and the waves were making it impossible to stand still!" Jeff cried, grinning as if that were the most fun he'd ever had. Greg and Murray laughed. Anthony listened to his stomach grumble. He'd had enough. Two minutes at this party, and still no sign of sausages on sticks.
"Oh captain?" he called. "Where should I put this?" He held up the picnic basket and looked around quizzically. Captain Feathersword's eyes widened in surprise, as if he'd only just realised Anthony was there.
"Oh, er, the food's uh.below deck," the captain faltered. Suddenly Anthony was growing very suspicious. There was nothing on the boat to suggest a Pirate Party. But if the captain said there was food below deck, he wouldn't argue. He gestured to indicate that he'd take the basket to put with the rest of the party food, and disappeared below deck.
*****
Out in the fresh air, Jeff was still staggering about on the deck.
"Wow, that must have been some dream if you're still all wobbly and wiggly, Jeff." Greg watched with a smile as his purple-clad friend continued to lurch about. "Uh, Jeff?"
The purple Wiggle was beginning to look more like a green Wiggle.
"Guys? This isn't a very good dream anymore." Before they could say anything, Jeff had staggered over to the side of the ship and was making some very unpleasant noises.
"Oh dear." Captain Feathersword covered his face with his hands, clearly embarrassed.
"It is a bit choppy today, Captain," Murray pointed out. "Are you sure today's a good day for a Pirate Party?"
"I think you're right, Greg, me hearty." The captain was managing to stay in one place as the ship rocked, but Greg and Murray were finding it harder to stay still. They too were beginning to wobble. "I suppose I forgot you don't have your sea-legs like I do."
Greg knew that the captain wasn't really swaying back and forth in front of him, but somehow, as the whole ship lurched on the rough waters, it was hard to believe that. The yellow Wiggle was trying his hardest to keep upright, and the way the captain seemed to be rocking from side to side wasn't helping.
"You know, captain, I think maybe it might be better if we - " He never finished the sentence. Now there were two green Wiggles leaning over the side of the ship.
Murray glanced between them and the captain, eyes wide with panic. It took one more gust of wind, one more heave, one more creak of wood, before Murray had joined his friends, making a three-Wiggle pile-up over the side of the boat.
"Oh dear," the captain fretted, "I'm so sorry! Maybe today wasn't the best day for a Pirate Party." He didn't move from his spot in the middle of the deck: the noises made by the three Wiggles were very off-putting.
When Jeff eventually managed to stand up, he still looked a little greenish around the gills, but he had recovered enough to tell the captain, "maybe we could come back another day? When the weather isn't so - " The ship rolled again, and Jeff clutched his stomach.
"No, it's perfectly alright, me hearty," the captain told him. "We'll have the Pirate Party another day, when my friendly pirate ship isn't rocking quite so much on the sea." As red, yellow and purple staggered gratefully back towards the gangplank, he called, "I'll tell Anthony you had to go home." If they heard him, they were too ill to acknowledge him.
"Right," he said to himself when the deck was clear again, "that's those pillocks out of the way."
*****
Anthony was feeling very annoyed. There wasn't a single sausage on a stick in sight, and there certainly weren't any crunchy munchy honey cakes. He'd already worked his way through two of the sandwiches he'd brought with him, and if he didn't find some party food soon, he knew the rest of his picnic would soon disappear.
Finally he made his way back on deck, ready to give the captain some hell. Fancy inviting them all to a Pirate Party and not providing any Pirate Party food!
Except on deck, there wasn't even any party. Just the captain himself, standing resolutely on the deck as the ship heaved in the midst of what was quickly becoming a gale.
"Just what's going on here, Captain?" he groused, mouth still full of sandwich. The captain just smiled faintly. "Where's Greg? And Jeff, and Murray? What about the Pirate Party?"
Before the captain could answer, another wave set the ship reeling again, and Anthony found himself stumbling across the deck, struggling to keep his feet. He landed smack against a surprisingly sturdy pirate chest, and strong pirate arms held him steady.
"Don't tell me you'd rather they came back," the captain whispered, his breath on Anthony's cheek a warm counterpoint to the icy wind. "The party's below deck." Anthony considered this for a moment. Then he considered the firm pirate thigh now wedged between his. Then he considered the picnic basket he'd left behind. Then he considered the alternative: heading back to the Wiggle house for a rousing chorus of the Wiggle Groove.
"Party on."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Of all the days to hold a party, this was not the one Anthony would have picked. Clouds rolled overhead, turning the sky to a mess of grey instead of the brilliant blue that ordinarily matched his Wiggle sweater so perfectly.
Still, parties meant party food, and Anthony would brave even the worst of storms for the promise of sausages on sticks and crunchy munchy honey cakes, even though he carried his own picnic basket full of sandwiches. He only wished they could get there faster. But his Wiggle companions refused to move quicker than their usual arm-swinging stroll. To make matters worse, he could spy a junction ahead, which could mean only one thing.
"Uh-oh, we have to cross the road," announced Murray, coming to a complete stop. "What do we do now, Greg?" Anthony tried not to think about pushing the red Wiggle into the road. He couldn't help but groan, though as familiar music sprang up as if from nowhere.
"Stop at the lights, look both ways, look both ways again." His fellow Wiggles all quickly fell in line with Greg, copying his actions as the yellow Wiggle sang the safest way to cross the road. "Wait for the traffic to come to a stop, then cross the road with a friend!" Safety was all very well, but somehow it paled in comparison to the crunchy munchy honey cakes that Anthony knew would be waiting for him.
Five choruses later, they were finally across the road. Up above, the clouds rushed faster across the sky, and as they turned a corner they were hit full on by a blast of wind that almost knocked Anthony off his feet.
"Did we take a wrong turn into Windy Street?" he grumbled, his voice carried quickly away by the vicious bluster. Leaves skittered past his feet, and his pant legs whipped at his ankles like flags.
"Don't be silly," Greg laughed, "Windy Street is right on the other side of town!" The words Anthony muttered were very fortunately lost in the howl of the wind. "We're almost at the harbour now."
"There it is!" Murray pointed off into the distance, where one lone ship bobbed rhythmically on the water. Already Anthony was sure he could catch the scent of party food on the breeze, and he ignored the rabble of Wiggle complaints as he steamed ahead, eyes (and stomach) fixed firmly on his destination.
He was already onboard the SS Feathersword by the time Wiggles red, yellow and purple caught up with him.
"Why'd you go running off like that, Anthony?" Greg's voice was piqued with confusion, as though the thought of a Wiggle alone just didn't make sense. Fortunately, before he could answer, their host appeared on deck, alerted by their voices.
"Ahoy there!" Captain Feathersword bounced over, managing a smile that seemed almost wider than his face could possibly allow. His enthusiasm was uncontrollable as always, and just like the other three Wiggles, Anthony smiled automatically, but his smile drooped just a little when he realised there was no party food in sight. The captain greeted each Wiggle with a swish of his feathersword, making each one collapse into giggles at the persistent tickling. Despite his mild annoyance, Anthony couldn't help laughing too, but he made sure not to laugh too long. After all, if they had been invited to a Pirate Party, then there ought to be Pirate Party food. What did pirates eat at their parties, anyway?
He was just about to ask that same question when he was interrupted by a loud, "oh no!" from Murray. His heart sank at the thought of having to wait even longer, but he turned anyway to see what the problem was.
Behind him, Greg and Murray were standing with their hands raised in over- the-top despair, watching as Jeff somehow managed to stay upright on the rolling deck of the SS Feathersword, despite being fast asleep. His snores cut through the shrill wind, and drowned out Anthony's groan of frustration. Trust Jeff to find a way to be the centre of attention even while unconscious.
"We'd better wake him up," Greg declared with a nod. "After three, everybody. One, two three, wake up Jeff!" Murray and the captain joined in with enough enthusiasm to make up for Anthony's disgruntled silence.
Jeff's eyes snapped open, and immediately he began to stagger about the deck, arms flailing madly.
"I dreamt I was on a boat, and the waves were making it impossible to stand still!" Jeff cried, grinning as if that were the most fun he'd ever had. Greg and Murray laughed. Anthony listened to his stomach grumble. He'd had enough. Two minutes at this party, and still no sign of sausages on sticks.
"Oh captain?" he called. "Where should I put this?" He held up the picnic basket and looked around quizzically. Captain Feathersword's eyes widened in surprise, as if he'd only just realised Anthony was there.
"Oh, er, the food's uh.below deck," the captain faltered. Suddenly Anthony was growing very suspicious. There was nothing on the boat to suggest a Pirate Party. But if the captain said there was food below deck, he wouldn't argue. He gestured to indicate that he'd take the basket to put with the rest of the party food, and disappeared below deck.
*****
Out in the fresh air, Jeff was still staggering about on the deck.
"Wow, that must have been some dream if you're still all wobbly and wiggly, Jeff." Greg watched with a smile as his purple-clad friend continued to lurch about. "Uh, Jeff?"
The purple Wiggle was beginning to look more like a green Wiggle.
"Guys? This isn't a very good dream anymore." Before they could say anything, Jeff had staggered over to the side of the ship and was making some very unpleasant noises.
"Oh dear." Captain Feathersword covered his face with his hands, clearly embarrassed.
"It is a bit choppy today, Captain," Murray pointed out. "Are you sure today's a good day for a Pirate Party?"
"I think you're right, Greg, me hearty." The captain was managing to stay in one place as the ship rocked, but Greg and Murray were finding it harder to stay still. They too were beginning to wobble. "I suppose I forgot you don't have your sea-legs like I do."
Greg knew that the captain wasn't really swaying back and forth in front of him, but somehow, as the whole ship lurched on the rough waters, it was hard to believe that. The yellow Wiggle was trying his hardest to keep upright, and the way the captain seemed to be rocking from side to side wasn't helping.
"You know, captain, I think maybe it might be better if we - " He never finished the sentence. Now there were two green Wiggles leaning over the side of the ship.
Murray glanced between them and the captain, eyes wide with panic. It took one more gust of wind, one more heave, one more creak of wood, before Murray had joined his friends, making a three-Wiggle pile-up over the side of the boat.
"Oh dear," the captain fretted, "I'm so sorry! Maybe today wasn't the best day for a Pirate Party." He didn't move from his spot in the middle of the deck: the noises made by the three Wiggles were very off-putting.
When Jeff eventually managed to stand up, he still looked a little greenish around the gills, but he had recovered enough to tell the captain, "maybe we could come back another day? When the weather isn't so - " The ship rolled again, and Jeff clutched his stomach.
"No, it's perfectly alright, me hearty," the captain told him. "We'll have the Pirate Party another day, when my friendly pirate ship isn't rocking quite so much on the sea." As red, yellow and purple staggered gratefully back towards the gangplank, he called, "I'll tell Anthony you had to go home." If they heard him, they were too ill to acknowledge him.
"Right," he said to himself when the deck was clear again, "that's those pillocks out of the way."
*****
Anthony was feeling very annoyed. There wasn't a single sausage on a stick in sight, and there certainly weren't any crunchy munchy honey cakes. He'd already worked his way through two of the sandwiches he'd brought with him, and if he didn't find some party food soon, he knew the rest of his picnic would soon disappear.
Finally he made his way back on deck, ready to give the captain some hell. Fancy inviting them all to a Pirate Party and not providing any Pirate Party food!
Except on deck, there wasn't even any party. Just the captain himself, standing resolutely on the deck as the ship heaved in the midst of what was quickly becoming a gale.
"Just what's going on here, Captain?" he groused, mouth still full of sandwich. The captain just smiled faintly. "Where's Greg? And Jeff, and Murray? What about the Pirate Party?"
Before the captain could answer, another wave set the ship reeling again, and Anthony found himself stumbling across the deck, struggling to keep his feet. He landed smack against a surprisingly sturdy pirate chest, and strong pirate arms held him steady.
"Don't tell me you'd rather they came back," the captain whispered, his breath on Anthony's cheek a warm counterpoint to the icy wind. "The party's below deck." Anthony considered this for a moment. Then he considered the firm pirate thigh now wedged between his. Then he considered the picnic basket he'd left behind. Then he considered the alternative: heading back to the Wiggle house for a rousing chorus of the Wiggle Groove.
"Party on."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~