Five Midnight Conversations With Spock
(Or: Four times Barry accidentally woke his room-mate up, and one time Clive was awake first.)
"Ow! God, that hurt! 'Bleedin- damn it, damn it, oh don't wake up, don't wake up..."
"Too late."
"Crap. Hi, Clive."
"Morning? And where, exactly, were you off to?"
"I was hungry!"
"It's past midnight!"
"Sssh... we'll wake up Dax again. Stupid fox hearing."
"Well, if it wasn't for his stupid fox hearing, I wouldn't know where you escape to at night without my knowledge!"
"Oh, stop being such a drama queen. I only wanted a biscuit."
"Get back into bed, Barry. I'm sure you can wait until breakfast."
"You're so annoying."
"So I've been told. Goodnight, Barry."
"Barry."
". . ."
"Barry! I know you're awake."
"No I'm not."
"Idiot. Would you turn that insufferable game off? This must be the millionth time you've woken me up with that game."
"But I'm nearly at Level 18!"
"You can get to Level 18 in the morning- wait."
"What?"
"You're not at Level 18 yet?"
"Umm, no. Are you?"
"Well yeah, of course. I'm in the middle of Level 36."
"What? Since when did you get so good at this?"
"It's not that hard. What are you stuck on?"
"Argh, this, this... locked door... thing. You know, the one where you've gotta find the key."
"The purple one?"
"Yeah, that one."
"Oh, I got that ages ago. Hang on, I'm coming over."
"Oof. God, you've got skinny elbows."
"Do you want my help or not? I could easily go back to bed. It's nearly eleven."
"... yes, I want your help."
"Exactly. Now budge up, you're stealing all the covers."
"Ah- ah- AHCHOO!"
"Argh! Barry!"
"Sorry."
"Some of your sneeze just went on my face."
"Sorry, 'gain. Go back to sleep."
"You think I can go to sleep now? I have to go disinfect my face. You're disgusting."
"Sorry- it's by allergies."
"Ew. I'm turning the light on."
"Okay- ow!"
"Well, I did warn you."
"Wait, hang on..."
"What."
"Feathers! Bloody feathers! On the windowsill!"
"Ah."
"Ah? They'b Dax's, aren't they? You dow he's not allowed to shift in 'ere!"
"Sorry! I needed to do a really quick weight-check for an experiment and Dax was just passing by- I thought I'd cleared everything up, I really did."
"Humph."
"There, see? They're out the window. And my face is clean."
"Turn the light off?"
"Sure."
"Night."
"Goodnight."
"Don't. Even. Think about it."
"Bloody laser system... you're trying to starve me, aren't you?"
"No, I'm trying to lower your cholestorol! You're the one who said your belt wouldn't do up!"
"It was only a passing comment!"
"... I was just trying to help."
"Well, did I ask you to help?"
"Sorry. I'll leave you- it, alone, in future."
"Clive... Clive! I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm sorry."
"..."
"No-one falls asleep that fast."
"..."
"Fine. Night."
"..."
"..."
"Goodnight."
"ARGH!"
"Murgh... Clive?"
"Yeah?"
"Did you just- did you just scream?"
"Sorry. Nightmare."
". . ."
"What?"
"You girl."
"It was scary!"
"What was it about?"
"Umm... robots."
"Robots?"
"Yes. Problem?"
"You are not scared of robots. You're Clive."
"Well, certain robots are scary. Like the Daleks, for example."
"Don't lie to me! After however many months of sharing a room with you, I know that Daleks aren't robots. So do you. What was it really about?"
"Nothing. Go back to sleep."
"Clive..."
"..."
"Clive! I know you're not asleep. Your eyes are open, for gods sake."
"Well... it's scary when I close them."
"Oh for- hang on."
"What are you doing? Barry!"
"I'm giving you a hug, numbskull."
"You're crushing me!"
"Well, are you scared any more? Your elbows are still stupidly pointy, you know that?"
"I'm scared of you. You're flattening me. I'll wake up in the morning having been transformed in to a pancake."
"Well excuse me for trying to help."
"Barry! Oh, you don't need to-"
"What?"
"You can stay."
"Humph."
"Please?"
"Well, I guess you'll need someone to protect you from the robots."
"Thanks."
"S'all right."
"You ever going to tell me what it was about?"
"No. Mmn, you're warm. Go to sleep."
"Night, then."
"Night."
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