Smooth

Summary: Following Like A Virgin: A copy of Veronica's fake purity test arrives on Lamb's desk. Half of the stuff on there is illegal, so he has to bring her in, right? DoVe

Rating: Teen

I own nothing...sadly, would kill to own Lamb...ahhhh

OOOO

Sheriff Don Lamb should know by now that an unmarked envelope on his desk shouldn't be opened. Under no circumstances. Mars was always playing some kind of trick on him, and some of the other punks in Neptune, who thought they should follow after the great Veronica Mars.

This is time though, he was shocked.

He had heard about the purity test. Concerned parents of idiot teenagers had called and complained, thinking that he could shut down the internet or something. He had politely taken their complaints, though it almost killed him not to say "Shouldn't you be getting on to your child?"

It wasn't his fault that everyone was so sexually active lately...hell, he was glad. He wasn't a pervert...but sometimes Mars could just...

And then when he found a willing, drunk, all-over-him eighteen year old who happened to look similar to Veronica, he couldn't help himself. He knew he'd never get the real one. So why not fuck every girl who looked like her? It worked alright, until he was sober again, and his mind was telling him, "Sorry, Don. I know you want me to make you think it was her...it wasn't."

The way she bounced around, the show she put on of experience, thats all it was. A show, he knew it. They had been close, when he was a deputy, and her father was the Sheriff. Keith Mars was always having Don and Sacks over for dinner. And Veronica always played hostess.

And then there was the time she had been raped, crying in a white dress in his office. He regretted his words that day. Why he had said them? To keep her from developing feelings for her. To keep himself from loving her more.

Who would have sent him Veronica's purity test answers?

She couldn't have...could she?

Lamb hoped not. He wanted her, still. Everytime she waltzed in, like she owned the place. Like she was better than him, and if he was being totally honest. She was better than him. And he hated it.

She was too good for him. He was too old for her. These were his excuses.

Have you ever slept with an older guy?

Yes.

That one made his breath shaky for a minute. She had...

His Veronica wasn't who he thought she was.

He didn't know whether to be disappointed or excited.

47: What's the kinkest sex you have ever had?

After breaking into a house.

Hell.

He couldn't let that one go. It was illegal.

Also, a perfect excuse/reason to bring her in.

Maybe to see if he could top it.

No. Lamb wouldn't do that. He wanted to. He would give up the position of Sheriff to. But, Mars hated him. Damn himself and the bloody Wizard. That was god-awful advice, and probably the number one reason he was going to hell.

Maybe God would count all the stalking, stealing, breaking in, and other Veronica things against her and she would be there with him.

What a horrible thing to wish. Number two reason he was going to hell.

OOOO

"Come here often?" Veronica smirked from behind the table in the interrogation room.

Deputy Sacks had brought her in twenty minutes ago. Lamb wanted to make her sweat (in more ways than one) it out. Get nervous.

Who was he kidding? It was Veronica Mars. She just sat in there smirking. He watched her the entire time through the two-way mirror. Yawned, too. Just sat and smirked and yawned.

"If I were you, I wouldn't be making jokes right now." Lamb frowned, still kinda sad she wasn't unnerved by this trip to the police station.

"If you were me, who would I be? You? Aaron Echolls? Angelina Jolie?" Mars made her eyes huge as she did that smartass Veronica thing.

He rolled his eyes.

"Cut the crap, Mars." He sat infront of her.

"Me cut the crap? I am handcuffed to a table for no reason. I got dragged from school by your lame deputy, and you think I should be Little Miss Compliant?" Veronica jerked the handcuffed hand up. The metal clanking against the metal ring on the table.

"I received incriminating evidence that shows that you broke into a home." Don pulled out the test.

Veronica took one look and scoffed, "You're kidding right? The purity test? Did you buy this? That's sick."

Lamb groaned, "No, I didn't buy it. It was mailed to me. And no, I am not kidding. Its your test and look at number forty-seven."

Veronica leaned back into the seat.

"I don't have to. I didn't take the test, someone hacked into my account and took it for me."

"Like I am going to believe that." Lamb rolled his eyes again.

"Believe it or not that's the truth." She smirked, "Look at eighty-one."

81: Have you ever had sex with a law enforcement officer?

Yes, the sheriff.

"So unless, I had sex with my father..." Veronica trailed off with a look of satisfaction on her face.

He hadn't read that far. The questions and answers had put so many images in his head that he had to stop. He put his head in his hand to prevent her from seeing the slight blush.

"So you didn't do any of these?" It was muffled, through his hands.

"Nope." Her voice was bright, like it always was when she got the best of him.

OOOO

Who sent her fake test results to Deputy Lamb?

Veronica sat in the midst of Neptune High courtyard. She was looking at the '09ers. It would make perfect sense that it would be one of them. They hated her, they hated Lamb, and they wouldn't think that ten dollars for the answers would be a waste of ten dollars.

She had taken Lamb's copy. This was even worse than the other time. Scoring a 9. Someone really wanted to make her out as a whore.

"Who posted bail?" Wallace joked as he sat his tray across from her.

It had been lunchtime before when Deputy Jackass had cuffed Veronica and dragged her out of the school. Everyone had saw, everyone had laughed.

"There was no bail, just an idiot sheriff and the purity test." Veronica held up the wrinkled copy that Lamb had been sent.

It looked as though he read it, throughly.

Figures, real crime he's blind to, but a fake sex test about Veronica-he's all in.

She almost could believe he cared, but "Go ask the Wizard" still rang fresh in her mind. The day that he killed years worth of friendship and the crush she had had on him since he walked into her father's office interviewing for a job.

He had been so soft then, with a grin that gave her butterflies. She wanted to date him, marry him, and for him to be her first. She loved Duncan, but she always thought she was just bidding time until Don would come in sweep her off her feet with a confession of love, and they'd live happily ever after.

Then, she was raped. He was an ass. Their friendship turned into the worst possible thing. Now they were constantly at each others necks.

"What?" Wallace grabbed the purity test, with a look of disgust began reading it, "Whoa, this is worse than last time."

"I know." She frowned, "Someone mailed it to the sheriff, some of the answers suggest criminal activity, surprisingly he noticed it and took action."

"How'd you convince him it wasn't real?" Wallace asked, before a "DAMN!" escaped as he read the answers.

"Look at eighty-one." She replied.

"Ah, thank god they put that answer, huh? Who would sent this to the sheriff?"

"That's what I am trying to figure out." Veronica's gaze went back to the '09ers.

OOOO

To Be Continued...

AN: I got a review on my last Veronica Mars fic, that said if I had a little more padding it would be great. And they were right. I have been using my general writing style for too long. This was newer for me, I haven't wrote like this much detail in a while, so bare with me.

This also came to me when watching Like A Virgin, I love DoVe, and he wasn't in it as much as I'd like, so i am rewriting it haha.

Who do you think did it?

Review.