Just a little one-shot I wrote that does and doesn't have any connection to the book…actually, I have no idea what it's about. Just a bit of mindless drivel. Hope you enjoy!
The Last Dragon Slayer
I looked up when I heard the truck pull into the drive. Sodapop was still hopping around the kitchen, making sure supper was started as I sat at the table wondering when I'd ever use any of the algebra I was learning, in a real-life setting. Nobody I knew, not even Darry used any of this in their daily life, but here I was working away at the equations trying to be as smart as everyone seemed to think I was.
The door opened as Darry made his way in after another long day at work, and I rushed to finish the last two exercises from my math book, knowing Darry would want to look over my answers. I looked up as Soda let out an evil guffaw, and I cringed and worried about what we were all in for at supper.
By this time, Darry would've done his usual routine; come in through the door pulling his boots and tool belt off before heading for the kitchen to drop off his lunchbox and nag me about whether or not my homework was done. Then he'd head for his chair; dad's old chair and either read the sport's page, watch tv, or maybe strike up a conversation with Sodapop while I sat forgotten, plugging away at my homework. This is what he did almost every day of his life now.
It's funny the things you get used to, and even come to expect. Like getting used to my older brother Sodapop sleeping with me after I started having really bad nightmares after our parents died. I could lie and say how much I hated coming off like a little baby that needed his brothers' protection, but when life steals something as important as your mom and dad away from you, you cling to what you have left. At this point, I didn't care if I was thirty and sharing a bed with Sodapop, so long as the dreams stayed away.
I was also used to my oldest brother, Darry nagging and hounding me all the time. He nagged me to do homework, he nagged me to go out more, he nagged me to get good marks and nagged me to make sure the good marks I had stayed that way. It felt like I couldn't do anything right, or anything to please him, but Soda said it was only because he worried about me. I didn't understand what there was to worry about, it wasn't like I was a little kid or anything, but Soda said I'd understand when I was a little older and I tried to trust that. Sodapop never lied to me.
I guessed I'd realized something was off when Sodapop slowed what he was doing, and looked down the hallway concerned. Darry hadn't come into the kitchen, and he hadn't dropped off his lunchbox like every other day of his life. Darry didn't come to check up on me and the homework I was doing, and he didn't fall into dad's old chair to read the sports or to talk with Soda. I noticed a small part of me feel nervous and afraid over something so trivial and yet so large.
"Keep on your studies, Pony. I'll be right back." Soda winked at me while he slowly made his way down the hallway.
I waited quietly at the table, expecting both of my brothers to return but it didn't happen. I heard muffled voices coming from Darry's bedroom, and I slowly and quietly got up from the table and made my way down the hall. I never made a habit out of eavesdropping before. I figured a lot of what my brothers were talking about had to do with me. I figured it was a lot of stuff I didn't really want to know about; maybe me disappointing Darry, and Sodapop sticking up for me as usual and convincing Darry to lay off.
I was careful and quiet as I inched my way closer to the door to Darry's bedroom. The door was open slightly, and I peeked in wondering what was going on. Darry was sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows resting on his knees with his head in his hands. Sodapop was sitting next to him with an arm thrown over his shoulders, forever being the pillar of comfort we always depended on. I'd never seen Darry look so small before, not even when mom and dad had died, and I felt a little tremble of fear in my stomach.
"Darry, you can't go in to work like this. You're a mess." Soda's voice was gentle as he moved his arm and started rubbing Darry's back.
"I'm just gonna lay down. If I get enough sleep I might feel better by tomorrow."
"Goddam it, Darry! Enough is enough! You can't keep up this pace you've set for yourself. You need to rest. The world ain't gonna fall apart if you miss a day's work."
"What am I s'pose to do, huh? I got the State breathing down my back. I can't screw this up, Sodapop. They'll take you and Pony away, and I couldn't live with that. I can't afford to be sick. I'll be fine."
Darry's voice sounded so defeated and scared, and when he sat up to look over at Sodapop, I realized how young he really was, and it seemed to hit me then. My twenty-year-old big brother had given up everything. Everything. A college education was just the tip of the iceberg for Darry. He gave up his friends, girls, weekend parties and football games. He gave up freedom; no longer even able to take a day for himself even when he was sick. He gave up his life.
"Darry, I'm workin' full-time now. I know I don't pull in the same kinda money as you, but what are we doin' if you can't even take a day off when you ain't feelin' good?" Sodapop pleaded.
"I'm just so fucking tired." Darry's voice shook, and I felt my throat close. "I never thought I'd ever feel this tired, Soda."
I watched as Sodapop hugged our brother from the side, and rubbed the back of his head affectionately. It made me feel strange. My oldest brother was Superman to me. He was the Commander, the Chief, unwavering and solid. He was the last Dragon Slayer; the last man to stand and fight to keep our family together and strong. He was the steady force that kept us going day after day. I realized then that I'd barely thought of him as human. I'd roll my eyes and whine like a spoiled brat to Sodapop, all the while not taking a second to think about everything Darry had to deal with on his own, without so much as a whisper of complaint. Now he was sitting with Sodapop; open, vulnerable, just another guy trying to get through life.
"Hey, get in the shower. Turn the water on real hot and just relax for a bit. I'll finish up on supper, so you can hit the sack early." Soda suggested.
Darry just nodded his head solemnly. "How's Ponyboy? He have a good day?"
"He's fine, Darry. Finished his homework already. He's a great kid, Darry. You don't gotta worry so much about him." Soda grinned, and in a minute Darry did too.
"I know he's a great kid, but it's my job. He's my responsibility now." Darry sighed as he let his torso fall backwards onto his bed.
Sodapop patted Darry's leg before he eased from the bed, and I tiptoed away from the door, so I wouldn't be spotted. Part of me; a big part felt guilty for sneaking around and spying on my brothers like I had. It was none of my business what they were talking about, and in a way, I'd been sorry that I now knew the burdens and the fears my oldest brother had. But I was also thankful. It was nice to know that my big brother was human and had fears of his own. It was good to be reminded that he was only twenty; practicality still a kid and raising two teenage boys by himself.
"Get in the shower, Darry. Then come grab a bite before going to bed." Soda's voice was gentle as he slowly closed the bedroom door behind him.
Soda saw me and frowned as he made his way down the hallway. I chewed on my nail nervously, not because I thought I'd catch hell, but because I didn't want to disappoint my brother. I knew well enough that their conversation wasn't meant for me or they would've included me. I suddenly knew the extent to which my brothers went to see that I was protected.
Soda approached me with that frown and watched me chew my nail for a bit before slowly reaching out and grabbing my hand. I frowned back at him, worried about what he was going to say, but Sodapop only smiled right before he threw an arm over my shoulder and we headed back to the kitchen together. He didn't say anything while we walked side-by-side, he just sighed before rubbing the back of my head as we both entered the kitchen.
I felt useless as I stood there beside the table. Sodapop went back to cooking supper, not saying a word. I wanted to do something; I wanted to help somehow as I realized I hadn't been much more than a mouth to feed that continually whined about how grumpy my oldest brother was. I forgot so easily about everything Darry had done for me. I didn't think about everything he was still doing for me.
The door to the bathroom closed, and soon the sound of the shower running followed. I made my way over to the stove where Sodapop was concocting our supper, and snorted a laugh when I saw him whipping up some mashed potatoes. They were blue.
"They got the blues, Pony. Know why?" Soda winked at me and I could only shake my head in reply.
"They miss their girlfriends." Soda pouted and fluttered his eyelashes.
I smiled and rubbed Soda's shoulder while he goofed around, pretending to cry in the potatoes. I knew he was trying to lighten the mood for me, knowing full well that I'd listened in on their conversation. I probably would've let him cheer me up if it hadn't been for the worry and the guilt I felt regarding my brother's talk.
"Is Darry okay?" I asked.
Soda stopped playing with his potatoes and looked at me with a small smile.
"He's fine, Ponyboy. You don't gotta worry 'bout him. You can't keep a good man down."
"Is he sick? What's wrong?" I ignored Soda's attempt at placating me. Just because I was the baby in the family, didn't make me a baby.
"Probably the flu." Soda sighed as he turned the burners on low, and covered the pot with a lid. "He's just over-tired, Pony. He'll be good after a decent meal and a full night's rest."
"He works too hard." My voice cracked as I suddenly felt ashamed.
"Hey," Soda's hand was gentle as he held my face in his hand and smiled. "Stop your worrying. Darry'll go nuts if he finds out you were listening in on us. He's fine."
"Ain't it better if I do know?"
"Know what?"
"Everything he's doing to keep us together. Knowing we can't afford it if he calls in sick to work. I forget sometimes."
Soda smiled before gently pressing his forehead against mine. "You two are more alike than you know, kiddo."
"What do you mean?" I asked, almost horrified. I didn't think I was anything like my oldest brother.
Sodapop didn't answer me. He just continued to smile while he took a step backwards, and then brought a hand up to mess my hair. He looked past me briefly as the shower turned off from the bathroom. I turned around as Darry made his way in, clad in a T-shirt and sweat pants, and felt my stomach clench as I saw for myself how horrible he looked.
"Clear your books and set the table, would ya kiddo?" Soda patted my back.
He didn't have to ask, and he knew that. I quickly fixed my hair before rushing over to the table to gather up my things and put them in my room. When I came back, Darry was at the cupboard digging out dishes for supper.
"I got it, Darry. You go sit down." I said.
Darry didn't argue, in fact he didn't say anything as he stepped away from the cupboard empty handed. His feet dragged across the floor, and his body sunk heavily onto the wooden chair and I looked over to Sodapop who was watching our brother with concern. His eyes flashed back over to me, and nodded as I grabbed our plates to set the table.
"I finished my homework, Darry. You wanna take a look at it?" I asked carefully as I set a plate in front of him.
Darry's eyes were dull and tired as he looked at me. He was about to answer when Soda interrupted.
"Whatta ya wanna drink, Darry? Milk or water?"
"Milk, thanks Sodapop." Darry answered before rubbing his head.
'Thanks Sodapop'. Sodapop was waiting on Darry hand and foot, and here I was bothering him about my homework. I wanted to do more, but I felt like all I could do right was stay out of the way and let Soda do everything. At least it wouldn't aggravate Darry and make him feel worse. The subject was quickly forgotten, and I felt a sense of relief. I felt foolish for bringing it up, and decided then that Darry wasn't so wrong about me after all. I really didn't use my head.
The table was set, and Soda set out to dish dinner onto all of our plates. I ate quietly and uncomfortably, worried that I'd say or do something to make my brother feel worse. Soda and me finished all of our food, but Darry sat silent and ate his pork chop slowly in between poking at the peas and mashed potatoes on his plate.
"The colours don't even match, Soda. This is the worst." Darry mumbled before dropping his fork onto his plate, and rubbing at his forehead.
"Sorry, Darry. Why don't you go on to bed?"
Darry gave Sodapop one of his rare smiles, albeit a tired one, and slowly got up from the table and shuffled his way to his room. I looked at Sodapop, and he gave me an encouraging wink as he grabbed for Darry's half-eaten plate and placed it on top of his.
"I'll clean up, Soda. You cooked." I reminded my brother of the rules, and was rewarded with a smile.
Soda got up and left me alone in the kitchen with the dirty dishes. I heard him rummaging in the medicine chest in the bathroom, and head down the hall. I guessed he was looking for some aspirin to help Darry. I didn't try to snoop in on their conversation. I was still trying to digest the one from early on.
It was pitch dark when I woke up in a cold sweat, and tried to catch my breath as I lay trembling. I wondered if I'd ever stop having nightmares, or if I'd just get so used to them that they wouldn't scare me half to death anymore. It hadn't been that long since my parent's died, but it was shocking how much I'd gotten used to them both being gone.
I tried to think about my mom and dad; grasping at anything to shake the fear and the dread that seemed to stick to the inside of my stomach like a heavy stone. I closed my eyes and tried to picture their faces; their smiles, but when I came up empty I felt even more panic. I turned my head to find Sodapop rolled the opposite way as me, so I opted to get out of bed and get a drink of water to try to calm down as opposed to waking my brother.
I quietly made my way out of our room, and noticed the lights to the kitchen on. Wondering which buddy was staying the night, I made my way in for that drink of water but was shocked to find none other than Darry at the table going through papers. He didn't seem to notice me enter the kitchen until I was grabbing a glass out of the cupboard, and made him jump.
"Christ, Ponyboy. I didn't hear ya. What are you doing up? It's three in the bloody morning."
"I'm sorry." I answered quickly, noticing how pale my oldest brother looked with his dark brown hair plastered to his forehead from the fever that was trying to break.
"You okay?" Darry asked as he looked at me curiously, and it made me feel like hell. I was supposed to be asking him that question.
My brother seemed to worry a lot about me and I'd always considered it as him nagging at me, or always being on my case. I'd never seen it for what it really was; my brother caring about me, and looking out for me. My eyes felt like they were burning, and it hurt to swallow and I couldn't tell if it was because of the nightmare, or because I had this sudden wave of need and love for my oldest brother, and I didn't know how to let him know.
I nodded and hurriedly took a drink of water so I wouldn't have to keep eye contact with him. I didn't want Darry to worry about me on top of everything else he was dealing with, and I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. Darry wasn't an emotional guy, except with Sodapop and I was scared that he'd read my thoughts and think I was off my rocker.
"You sure?" Darry didn't look convinced.
"Yeah, I'm okay." My voice cracked as I took another drink.
"Alright," Darry resigned as he gathered up the bills he was most likely obsessing over, and piled them neatly. "You should get on back to bed, kiddo. It's late."
I nodded dumbly as Darry got up from the table, put the papers in the basket on top of the ice box, and slowly made his way into the living room. I stood silently awkward by the counter, clutching at the empty glass, not knowing what it was I wanted, but I knew that I didn't want to go back to bed right then. I timidly made my way to the living room.
Darry was sitting, leaning back on the couch with his eyes closed. I looked on, wondering if he'd fallen asleep that quickly, or if he was just too worn out to make it to his own bedroom. I wanted to help him in some way. I wanted to do anything not to feel like the reason Darry gave up everything that meant anything to him. I didn't want to be just another mouth to feed. I didn't want to be that burden that was forever weighing down on his shoulders.
I quietly walked to the couch and grabbed the old blanket mom had knitted years ago. It was kind of ugly, and I always wondered why mom would pick colours that didn't really match. But it always stayed on the couch for whenever someone was laying down and staying over. I slowly unfolded it, and tried to gently cover my brother with it without disturbing him.
"Wha?" Darry startled, sitting up straight. He relaxed a little when he saw me, but his eyebrows furrowed in what I hoped wasn't annoyance.
"Ponyboy, what's going on? What's wrong?"
"Nothin', I…I just can't sleep." I shrugged as I half-lied. There was this strange inability to be able to talk to my brother, and it suddenly bothered me that I didn't know where it came from.
"You okay?" Darry looked so unwell, I think I was in shock.
"Are you okay, Darry?" My voice shook.
Darry looked at me strangely for a long moment before those pale blue-green eyes seemed to melt. He smiled and patted the cushion next to him on the couch. I felt like I was transported into some other dimension, and wondered foolishly if I was still sleeping and this was part of one of my crazy dreams. I'm sure the look on my face was as confused as I felt. Darry rolled his eyes at me.
"I don't bite, y'know. Come here, little buddy."
'Little buddy'. He'd never called me that before. He only ever called Soda that. I carefully stepped closer, and sat beside my brother.
"Are you okay, Darry?" I repeated my question, because quite frankly I was freaking out and I needed Darry to be Superman again. I needed the Dragon Slayer.
"Just a bug, kiddo. I'll be alright." Darry said, and I felt a wave of relief and reassurance.
"You ain't gonna go to work like this, are ya? You oughta stay home and rest up 'til you're better."
Darry looked at me carefully. "It don't always work out that way, Pony. I'll be fine."
"It ain't fair!" I cried out, and then hid my face in my hand when Darry looked at me in surprise.
I was embarrassed over my outburst even though I'd meant what I said. It wasn't fair what my brother had to go through to keep us together. And if the outburst wasn't enough, I became even more embarrassed when I realized that I was crying. In front of Darry.
I didn't really know what to expect from Darry. All I knew is that he never cried; not even when mom and died. He just wasn't the touchy-feely kind which was mostly okay because I had Sodapop for that. So when I felt his hand rest on my shoulder, and then felt his thumb rub gently back and forth, I was a little more than surprised.
"Pony, c'mere." I felt Darry pull firmly on my shoulder as he leaned back against the couch. I followed.
"What's goin' on, kiddo?" Darry asked as he slowly put an arm around my shoulder.
"Nothin'…I just…I know what you did. I know how hard you work and what you gave up so me and Soda wouldn't end up in a boy's home. And it ain't fair you gave up your life and can't even be sick! And I'm sorry for bein' such a jerk about it all. I'm sorry I forgot!"
"Ponyboy," Darry paused, like he had to think about what he wanted to say. "Ponyboy, I didn't give up my life. You and Sodapop are my life. You two are my family. Things are tough right now, but it'll get easier with time. We just gotta hang in there."
"But what about…" I had so many examples of everything Darry had sacrificed to keep us together, but he waved them off without a second thought.
"I'll tell ya what," Darry interrupted. "I'll call in sick tomorrow if you promise to stop worrying about this. You two win every time. There was no choice to be made in the matter. But thanks, Ponyboy."
I nodded and let my head tilt and relax on Darry's shoulder. It was quiet between the two of us for a while, and just before I started wondering if Darry had nodded off, his voice broke into my thoughts.
"It's just the flu, y'know. I ain't gonna die or nothin'."
"How do you know?" I asked seriously.
"Pony," Darry sighed and squeezed me tighter to him. "Promise me you wont listen in on conversations that aren't meant for your ears. This is exactly the thing I don't need you getting all worked up over."
"How'd you know?" I looked at Darry, and he just grinned.
"Soda told me you were listening in. Figured you'd get freaked out and wanna talk about it. I thought it'd be with him though."
I shook my head, but wasn't sure what to say. My brothers were always working together to protect me. I didn't feel like a baby this time though, I just felt extremely lucky. I knew there were a lot of people out there that didn't have the kind of family that I had.
There was more I wanted to say to Darry, but I was scared of saying too much or too little and messing it all up. I didn't know how long this cloud of understanding would last before we'd be on each other's case again, but I promised myself I'd never forget this night. I'd never forget everything I'd learned and realized about my oldest brother, and I'd hold on to it and keep it close.
"I love you, Darry." I didn't know if I'd ever said it before, even though I'd always meant it.
I felt his arm pull me in even closer as his body relaxed into the couch, and he brought his feet up to rest on the coffee table. I followed suit, and snickered when Darry let out a loud yawn that ended in a sigh.
"I know, kiddo. I love you too."