So, I'm planning on making this a fairly long-running story if I can manage it. Please feel free to Review, Follow, Favourite and all that. I'd be glad to hear suggestions of any type if anyone has. If you like a specific Fandom you'd like me to include, have a joke to make or have an idea for a character or any other such whatsits, pop me a message. The list on this page will be updated with Fandoms included.
FANDOMS SO FAR:
Warhammer 40K
RWBY
POSSIBLY IN THE FUTURE:
Young Justice
How's Moving Castle
Full Metal Panic
Rambo
S.T.A.L.K.E.R
Danny Phantom
Scooby Doo
Starcraft
Generator Rex
The Iron Giant
Fairy Odd Parents
Rogue Trooper
Metroid
My Life As A Teenage Robot
Powerpuff Girls Original
Back To The Future
Xray and Vav
Ed, Edd n Eddy
Inspector Gadget
League of Legends
Transformers
Halo
Breaking Bad
Peaky Blinders
Dota 2
Ready Player One
Hitman
Biker Mice From Mars
The Mask
Undertale
Legend Of The Seeker
Supernatural
American Gods
Metal Gear Solid
Gears Of War
Xiaolin Showdown
Ryse: Son Of Rome
Supreme Commander
Dreamworks Dragons
Darksiders
Deus Ex
The Tick
Teen Titans
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Tomb Raider
Wolfenstein
Black Lagoon
[PROTOTYPE]
InFamous
Assassin's Creed
Terminator
Judge Dredd
God Of War
Gmod
Treasure Planet
Ben 10
Thief
My Hero Academia
Samurai Jack
Big Hero Six
Shadow Of War
The Hobbit
Harry Potter
Killzone
The Matrix
Soul Eater
Brutal Legend
Avatar: Legend of Korra
Avatar: The Last Airbender
Code Geass
Hellsing Ultimate
Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood
Tokyo Ghoul
Rick and Morty
Invader Zim
Blue Exorcist
Star Wars
Lord of The Rings
Fallout
Polar Webcomic
Mass Effect
The Simpsons
Justice League: Unlimited
Marvel Cinematic Universe
Courage the Cowardly Dog
Evil Dead
Les Misérables
Mad Max
Megas XLR
James Bond
No Country For Old Men
The Elder Scrolls
The Addams Family
Alice In Wonderland
Hong Kong Fuey
Tigtone
Deathnoteick
Adventure Time
Fable: Anniversary
Attack On Titan
Futurama
Dragon Age
Goblin Slayer
Pirates Of The Caribbean
Gen:Lock
Taboo
The Wizard Of Oz
Alice In Wonderland
A Song Of Ice And Fire
Castlevania
The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen Movie
James Cameron's Avatar
For Honour
Grand Theft Auto
Kim Possible
Penny Dreadful
Overlord Game Series
Borderlands
The Big Bang Theory
Parasyte
Assassination Classroom
Rust
300
Beetlejuice
Black Sails
Claymore
Vikings
Dark Souls
She-Ra
Jackie Chan Adventures
Jak And Daxter
Blackadder
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Marvel
DC
House, M.D
James Bond
Friends
Hellboy
Evil Con Carne
Gargoyles
Duck Dodgers
Tales From The Cryptkeeper
If The Emperor Had A Text-To-Speech Device
Space Pirate Captain Harlock
Neon Genesis
Gurren Lagann
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure
Gundam
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Overwatch
Dexter's Laboratory
The Dragon Prince
Overlord: Anime Series
TF2
Gravity Falls
A Certain Magical Index
A Certain Scientific Railgun
Starship Troopers
Diablo
One Piece
The Saga of Tanya the Evil
Command & Conquer
The Dresden Files
Bleach
Final Fantasy
Naruto
Despicable Me
The Grim Adventures Of Billy & Mandy
Jimmy Neutron
The Big Bang Theory
Space Pirate Captain Harlock
Akame Ga Kill
Spongebob SquarePants
Destroy All Humans
The Marvellous Misadventures of Flapjack
Fate/Apocrypha
Berserk
Fairy Tail
One Punch Man
The Terror
Thundercats
Minecraft
Journal: Day 12.
So, I've been hiding in a dry patch in the swamps for two weeks now and I have been able to determine two things for sure. Firstly, I am definitely no longer on Earth, even if the atmosphere is breathable and the trees don't look that alien. One could be forgiven for thinking this is simply one of the uglier parts of the Amazon. This is not the case, however. I know this because a few hours ago I was attacked by a very large and very angry worm about twice the size of my arm, a sickly grey in colour and secreting the most noxious mucous. I didn't so much manage to kill it as I did accidentally punt it into my campfire while I was running away screaming like a fucking sissy.
Humans are dumb but we're not that dumb. If this thing was around on Earth we would sets that shit on fire. Just freaking Napalm half of the amazon and run to our Temples and be like 'Oh lord in Heaven that is fucking high on his own socks, the fuck was Thou thinking when Thou made that gross creepy worm monster? We thinkest Thou might attend Rehab.' Yuuughy.
The second conclusion is one I have able to come to with a very high degree of certainty after many tests and a process of ruling out other explanations of recent phenomena by way of the scientific method as well as a good few hours of praying to every god I can think of just to be safe, and I want you, dear Reader, to imagine this next bit said in a very nasally, twangy cockney accent in order to properly convey how strongly I feel about what I am about to say and the veracity of my certainty thereof.
I'm losing my FUCKIN' mind!
It's bad enough I'm stranded on an alien planet after being forcibly abducted by a freaking Solar Storm ON MY BIRTHDAY and that I have had to survive for the past two weeks in the jungle with nothing but the clothes on my back and my own survival instincts, I have, over the past several hours heard a voice in my head telling me to, and I quote 'Kihl The Loyaaliths! Kapture Eet FOR KAOS!' about half a dozen times.
I'm positive it isn't swamp gas because other than the occasional voice that sounds like it's coming from right behind me I'm completely lucid and there don't seem to be any other signs of any raging insanity. Fuck, I know I can get screwy without my meds, but this is just not fair. I've resorted to writing in my Journal I made out of boar skin a while back but I'm running out blood to write in and frankly getting bored with my Videogames and my music.
I'll write another entry if I don't fall over and die from starvation, dehydration or some horrible jungle disease.
/0/0/0/
Orlok sighed into his hand in frustration as he stared at the corpse of the worm. He'd been content to just leave it outside the cave he'd been hiding in for the past two weeks to avoid the swooping birds of prey that seemed to really hate him but he was now faced with a conundrum. He glowered at the corpse of the worm and pointedly tried to ignore the way his stomach rumbled.
He was hungry.
Rumble. Rumble. Rumble.
Scratch that. He hadn't eaten anything more than morsels in two days and he was starving. He thought the meal worms he'd been forcing himself to eat out of a nearby log had been bad but he'd recently run out. He sighed and tentatively reached for a rock he'd sharpened on a much larger boulder. He held it firmly, keeping his fingers away from the edge. He slowly, carefully moved over to the giant maggot and poked it in the side with his sharp stone.
It… jiggled.
He recoiled in horror.
"No. There's no way. I would legitimately rather starve." He grumbled to himself.
He shivered in the way he'd come to recognize meant one of those horrible birds was nearby. They had a weird presence to them. He couldn't so much hear or smell them as he could hear the sudden lack of any other forest life. They seemed to scare the smaller inhabitants as much as they scared him.
He dove back into his cave and moved a large leaf over the entrance from the inside. He'd chosen one of the obnoxiously massive ones and covered it in dirt and his own urine, hoping to dissuade any would-be-predators from trying to look around for a meal. Who wanted food from the place that smelled like piss?
Of course, if any territorial animals that marked their hunting grounds with urine came along they'd take it as a challenge. Then he'd be very fucked. He moved a good ten or so metres to the farthest wall of the cave and grabbed his emergency stabbing spear. It was in reality just a big branch he'd sharpened to a point.
He wasn't keen on picking a fight with anything larger than a frog with it.
The sound of rustling feathers came suddenly and angry squawking sounded from just outside the entrance. He'd caught glimpses of the bird of prey before and knew it was large but those wingbeats sounded like they belonged more on a tetradactyl than something like an eagle.
A harsh ripping sound echoed into the cave and he heard something strike against a rock. It repeated a few times more, followed by more angry squawks before the sound of flapping wings sounded again. Something scraped on the ground and then the wingbeats began to get quieter and sounded into the distance.
"Oh what come on seriously?! I know I wasn't planning on eating it but that's just rude." He complained to himself.
Orlok growled angrily to himself and moved over to a pool of still water he'd not dared drink out of but had been using as a washbasin for his single remaining pair of underpants.
At this point going commando under his pants was the norm, underpants were a luxury in the jungle. He only wore them as part of a weekly tribal ritual he'd decided on in his new Clan Orlok. He was the Chief.
Da Chief.
THE CHIEF!
It was a ceremony wherein he did his best to appease the angry Sky Vagina that had eaten him off of his planet. He thought it was a funny constellation at first but sometimes when he looked at the sky on clear days when the Mist wasn't so bad he could see it. Watching him. Mocking him with its swirling horrible colours.
Fuck. He missed his medication. The insomnia, mood swings and shakes were bad enough without the horrific nightmares he always got if he went too long without sleep or his meds. Crack junkies thought they knew what a bad trip was…
He put on his underpants and was about to engage in his customary Bad Dancing From The Eighties when something in the corner moved. His spear was in his hand in a moment and he glowered around him.
"Kaoss…" A vaguely female but very creepy voice intoned from behind him.
Orlok turned with a startle and came face to face with a very sharp row of teeth pressed way too close to him.
"Jesus!", He sucked in a breath and swung his spear. "Fuck off demon! You Ain't getting my entrails!"
The weird man girl woman thing ducked almost casually under his spear and looked up at him menacingly. It was half naked or at least dressed very scantily and had a huge spiky thing on its back. He struck out again but it just danced aside.
"Hold eet," It spoke and held a hand out. "I haz pamphlet for these." It stared at its arm and Orlok made out some scrawled writing.
"Good day sir or madeeem. Do you haz a moment to duscuz our Lords And Savyours, The Dark Powers?" It asked in a voice that might have sounded polite if not for the weird accent and the fact that it was coming from a thing that had way too many teeth.
Realization dawned on Orlok as his mind began to process some of what she said. It was trying to talk. That was good, he supposed. Maybe he'd best try to communicate with THE ENTITY.
Wait.
Wait…
"Wait. 'A moment to discuss a Lord and saviour. Is that what you said?" He asked dumbly.
"Ywell, technically they are four and-"
"Oh for fuck's sake! It a fucking Jehovah's Witness! Kill it with fire!" he kicked out at the coals in his firepit.
He got lucky and one hit it directly in the cheek. It jumped back, seeming more startled than anything.
"Fuck, on another planet and you people still find me?! TAKE THE HINT!"
"W-wait! We are-" THE ENTITY reached out a clawed hand.
"Yeeeeeeee!" He ran out of his cave screaming.
THE ENTITY followed after him for a spell and he could hear her chasing him into the jungle. It was rendered as a moot point when he stepped on a vine wrong and fell off a gorge. He caught a flash of grey and green, a startled yelp and then his vision went black.
Orlok fucking hated Mondays.