Mario: High Maintenance Woman
(Note: I took this down and edited it a little bit because it originally had song lyrics in it. It's a lot shorter that way, but oh well. I don't see the big problems with having song lyrics in it, but I know a lot of people are stupid and anal about that, so I figured I'd avoid a fight at all costs. However, I will tell you the title and artist of the song that inspired this. "High Maintenance Woman" by Toby Keith. Roy/Peach, one-sided Mario/Peach. Also, do you have any idea how annoying it is trying to write Mario's Italian accent? I mean, serously! This was originally in a set of one-shots that were all together as a collection, but I took that down and decided to edit them before posting them separately. Anything that has been previously copyrighted is not mine.)
Mario finished fixing the leak in the pool's filter. As he got up, his eyes landed on Princess Peach and Princess Zelda, both wearing pink bikinis.
He sighed. Here he was, just a lowly plumber. Peach was a beautiful young woman, whom Mario had saved many times. And every time, Mario fell more and more in love with her.
The plumber had tried everything he could think of to make her notice him. He even tried to bake a peach upside-down cake, but that didn't go very well. Stupid Luigi...
"Hey Peachie." Peach looked up to see Roy standing above her. "You might wanna go get dressed before we leave."
"Oh, right!" Peach blushed. She stood up and pecked Roy on the cheek. "I'll be right back!"
Mario looked at his watch – right on time.
Mario wanted to go follow her, but that would be stalking. He couldn't help thinking about her beauty. Luigi and Dr. Mario kept trying to comfort him, saying that she wasn't worth his time if she kept ignoring him, but he was totally addicted.
Every day, Peach seemed to have a bizarre plumbing accident. (Secretly, Mario had been sabotaging her water pipes so she would call him to her room.)
Mario smiled to himself as he pictured Peach wrapped tightly in his arms.
"Hey! Watch where you're going!" Mario looked up to see Marth and Samus struggling to balance the biggest pot roast dinner he had ever seen.
"Sorry. I was just-a thinking about-a someone."
"Peach?" Samus smirked.
"Sì! I can't-a help it!"
"Just tell her how you feel," Marth advised, struggling to keep his balance. He and Samus finally managed to set it down.
"She's a princess! I'm a plumber! It-a doesn't work-a that way!" Mario pouted and went to his room.
Finally, Mario collapsed on his bed. It was pointless.
Ain't no high maintenance woman
Gunna fall for a maintenance man…