DISORIENTALISM!

With apologies to Rumiko Takahashi, Philip K Dick, C S Lewis, J K Rowling, and most importantly, to the audience. Really, that Fictomachia bit is stupid. I'd skip it.

This fic is dedicated to those who translate videogames from Japanese to English.

Kagome, schoolgirl and part-time time traveller, Inu Yasha, bad tempered demon human hybrid, and Miroku, Buddhist with an event horizon, began to slow down on the path of life as they ran from a demonic panther.

'How do we get into these situations!' panted Miroku.

'You get around, you meet people, not all of them are going to like you.' replied Kagome. 'What's that up ahead?'

'Some weird ghost that's been bugging me.' puffed Inu Yasha. The ghost grimaced and slid at a constant rate of five meters in front of the half-demon. It pointed to the left, the direction to which Inu Yasha turned his head and noticed a sign saying NEW SODOM POP 9000. He yelled at his co-travellers to swing to the left.

'Great!' panicked Kagome and Miroku as they followed suit. The travellers ran into a stunning reproduction of 1950s San Francisco. Certainly not normal, but neither were monks with magical vacuuming curses so nobody commented. Kagome was too tired to point out the provenance of the town to her companions, and Inu Yasha was beyond caring at this point. As to the panther, it got distracted by the mysterious ghost and was last seen chasing poets around the Italian countryside. No, I don't get it either, and if you don't like the way history crumbles you shouldn't be a historian. Rant over, sorry.

Anywoozle the first person they say in this pseudo Frisco was a tall, pale man wearing a ten galleon hat and sporting double featherswords. Double featherswords! I know, mad right!

'Howdy pardner.' he lazily drawled at Kagome.

'Stay back!' she raised her arms out to prevent Miroku and Inu Yasha from approaching the genial stranger. 'He's a Westerner.'

'A what?' questioned Miroku. 'Some kind of -demon?' he began raising his cursed palm instinctively.

'In a manner of speaking. Look, you can tell by the way he assumes time is linear, reason is an end to itself, the shape of his face indicates that when he stubs his toe he'd invocate a Jewish deity instead of a Japanese one yet is implicitly atheistic, he deliberately misunderstands cultures in the light most beneficial to his ends, and the spurs and that invisible palomino horse his riding are pretty big clues too I suppose.' Spake Kagome.

'Yeah, well, when you say it like that its obvious.' retorted Inu Yasha, who had no idea what he was talking about but thought he understood metereology. 'So where'd you blow in from, aye?'

'Dun got blown down from dut interwebzle.' replied the Cowboy.

'Ayep.' nodded Inu Yasha as though he understood.

Miroku leaned forward eagerly. 'Anything weird happening here recently? Y'know, demons, shards…'

'Heck, this whole burg's a weird hap'nen!' hyucked the cowboy. 'This place was settled by all the internet memes after they was dun exiled from the internet by the superbloggers. Magic too, to those who ain't familiar with their contexts memes appear as ordinary Japanese civilians of thuh-' he waved his arms vaguely 'past I think. Yessuh indeedles, we've got them all… Chuck Norris, Rickroll, talking cats, reversed Russians and inspirational sarcastic black bordered posters. Not the realsies, but the platonic form of the meme was what the philosorapter told me. And we go way back to the bronze age, too.'

'A huh.' someone ahuh'd.

'We were gonna call in Dawkinstan but we'd figure that'd just summon religious weirdos-'

'You don't say' chorused Miroku and Inu Yasha like a pair of doves. Very ugly doves.

'- so we decided to call it New Sodom instead. Very sixties, I thought.'

You want a description of New Sodom? New Sodom looks like San Francisco, but small enough to fit in Japan without the local planning department noticing. Kagome yawned, but was grateful that she wasn't being chased. The cowboy handed his card to Kagome, as she had taken the lead.

'Mah name is FatHorse Lovegood, call me if you need any help, and remember, there is only one room in this town for the one of MEEEE (BY THE WAY THAT WASN'T A FAT JOKE HOW CAN THINK SUCH A THING YOU INSECURE PERSON YOU!)!' he squealed as he rode away on his invisible horse.

'He was the strangest person I've ever met' began Miroku. 'And I've met Kagome!' They all laughed heartily. 'But at least he didn't start singing at me.'

'Hey, Hey,' babbled Kagome. 'I don't think we're in Kansai anymore more, Inu Yasha. Get it? Get it!'

'Whatever. Right, we interrogate every civilian in New Sodom, solve their problems, and then crash at an inn. Zattaplanorizattaplan?' enthused Inu Yasha.

'I suppose so.' echoed a mysterious voice.